LogFAQs > #906066500

"Oh, I see," she smiles. "Very realistic! It's amazing what they can do these days."
"Oh isn't it?" you agree cheerfully. "What is your name?"
"Marge," she answers.
"Marge, where did you get those teal crocs?" you motion to her feet. "Teal is my favorite color and crocs have always looked so comfortable. Are they as comfortable as they look?"
"Y-yes, they are!" she nods excitedly. "I got them at Marshall's."
"And what is that scent you're wearing? It suits you so well," you compliment.
"Well I just rubbed all the samples in the Marshall's catalogue on me," she tells you.
You inhale again. "Well it's delightful. Do that every day, Marge. Every sample in the Marshall's catalogue is your new perfume."
Marge smiles meekly. "You are very kind."
You put a hand on her shoulder. "Marge, do you know where I can find Mr. Zeller's houseboat? I'm a friend of his son's and Jason Burnett told me I might be able to find him here," you say absentmindedly.
"Ooh you mean Ed," Marge recognizes the name. "Take your first left, walk until you get to your third right, then his boat will be the last on the right of the dock."

You thank Marge and follow her instructions to Mr. Zeller's boat. He doesn't seem to be awake yet. You try to sneakily board his boat without his knowledge. You slowly step one leg over the side of his home, but trip when trying to bring the second over and make a hard fall onto his floor. The old man comes bustling out from his bedroom in his pajamas and shouts, "Hey! What do you think you're doing?"
You pick yourself up off the floor. "Sorry for the startle. These dead legs of mine aren't as coordinated as I'd like 'em to be."
"Well why don't you go ahead and flop back onto the dock?" Ed orders.
"Maybe in a minute, Ed. I got an offer you can't refuse," you tell him, still holding the hammer in your right hand. "I need you to give me and my master a ride."
"A ride? A ride to where?" he asks.
"I don't know. Someplace nautical."
"And who is your master?"
"I don't know. Some kid who calls himself Mills."
"So you want me to let you, a rotting corpse, and some kid into my home and take you to a place that you have no idea where it is," Ed makes sure he has all the available details.
"That's right," you confirm.
Ed adjusts his glasses. "Why would I ever agree to this?"
"Well, your son was pretty mean in high school. He was a real... bastard! Threatened to kill my dad and all. So I figured I'd find his dad, you can probably figure out the rest," you conclude.
Ed sighs deeply. "Look, I know Eric was difficult to be around in his younger days, but he's a lot better now if that means anything to you."
"It does not."
"Well I'm not taking you anywhere," Ed informs you.
"But I have a hammer," you argue.
"Well, I have a phone," Ed says as he takes his cell phone out of his pajama pocket. "And I'm calling the police."

"Geez Louise" you say disappointed. You suppose it's time to put this hammer to good use. Maybe Ed will become more reasonable after he takes a hammer bop to the shoulder. You take a step forward and swing the hammer with your clumsy, floppy arm at Ed Zeller's shoulder. Seeing the strike coming, Ed tries to duck it, but ends up taking the face of the hammer to the temple, caving in his skull and killing him instantly.
---

You don't have to put my thighs in the microwave.