LogFAQs > #910477402

I agree with Zeus, and also see where Wolfy is coming from.

I had this same conversation with some friends the other day. The one friend was gay and he got VERY PASSIONATE about it, because he has a bunch of trans friends....and he firmly believed it would cause permanent emotional trauma to the 5 year old if you didn't listen to them and didn't refer to them as a "she" from that moment on, allow them to wear girl's clothes, and allow them to rename themselves "Vanessa" at the drop of a hat.

It kinda blew me away. Because you are essentially letting your 5 year old dictate everything. No guidance or questioning or resistance allowed....otherwise you are being an "intolerant and oppressive parent". But I wouldn't see that as intolerant or oppressive at all. You are simply guiding your child through a temporary identity hurdle.

I mean.....we are talking about a 5 year old here. I'm not saying they have NO concept of personal identity....but at the same time.....their concept of anything is significantly more abstract and temporary than an adult.

If my son came up to me as an 18 year old and told me he thought he was a girl.....I'd take it more seriously and be supportive. Puberty changes a lot of things. Hormonal and chemical fluctuations can literally redefine someone's entire personality/sexuality. But a 5 year old? I'd just be "humoring him" more than anything. I'm not going to change the entire structure of his life just because he told me he thinks he's a girl on a whim. That seems even more dangerous than anything else, because it kinda makes you a pushover as a parent.

It would also be mildly insulting that he would want to reject the name his mother and I gave him. A 5 year old renaming himself? No. We gotta draw the line somewhere. Otherwise kids will find out at school they can rename themselves and you'll start having classrooms full of kids named "Dragon Shredder VII" and "Captain Amazeballs" because reasons. Maybe if it was a nickname or something. But going to court and legally renaming him and demanding all his teachers and peers call him that as well, otherwise they are hurting his feelings?? That's taking it a bit too far.

Strange time we live in.
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