LogFAQs > #923135313

rwlh posted...

Drakeryn posted...

do you want/need blurbs

Yes please!

okay then let's see

Ushiromiya Kinzo (Umineko no Naku Koro ni)
https://umineko.fandom.com/wiki/Kinzo_Ushiromiya

Kinzo is a whole lot of things: an incredible man; forceful, obsessive, and brilliant; but also a hot mess. It's hard to know where to begin with this dude.

He's a legendary businessman who amassed immense wealth and brought the Ushiromiya family back to its former glory. As the patriarch of the Ushiromiya family, he ruled with a heavy hand. He had very definite ideas of how things should be done (his sons needed to carry on his business legacy! his daughters needed proper husbands who would also carry on his business legacy!) All his children were molded by his expectations, scarred by his disappointment, forever in his shadow.

In Trails of the Sky, there's a character who says "A father is a wall for a son to overcome." Kinzo was a hell of a wall.

He was also wildly obsessive in love and in his studies of the occult, and kind of a loose cannon; nobody really had a handle on this guy. "I wouldn't put it past Kinzo" becomes a catchphrase in one of the later episodes. Eighty(?)-year-old guy, jumping out his window at night, sliding down the drainpipe, on some obscure occult mission? Sure. Why not. Wouldn't put it past him.

Also he was a powerful magician. Sure! Why not! That's our Kinzo!

Alsooo he's the lover of the Golden Witch Beatrice, and literally obsessed with her. so chuu2? The truth is more sordid - Beatrice was an actual woman he fell in love with in his younger days. She wasn't a good marriage prospect because she had no STATUS, so he married someone respectable and kept Beatrice as his side woman (and true love). Beatrice bore him a kid and died in childbirth, and Kinzo raised Beatrice(2) in secret - and then she grew up to look just like her mom and Kinzo raped her. She got pregnant, ran away, fell off a cliff and died, but the child, Beatrice(3) survived and, unbeknownst to Kinzo, became one of the Rokkenjima servants. And Kinzo was VERY SORRY. WAAAAA BEATORICHE

So this incredible larger-than-life dude is actually a child rapist and a broken old man wracked with guilt over being a child rapist, but you don't find this out until very late in the game, so how does it properly factor into a ranking? idk that's why I nominated him

Alsooo, Kinzo died before the start of the game. Everyone comes to Rokkenjima Island for the yearly family conference and Kinzo's already dead (no foul play, just old age). Krauss/Natsuhi/the servants cover up his death for reasons I don't remember. It's an easy sell: he's SO idiosyncratic and SO disappointed in his kids that "he just won't come to dinner" is actually plausible. So literally every Kinzo scene in the game (flashbacks aside) is fanfiction. I <3 fanfiction

ALSO why is it so hard to find vintage Kinzoface, I had to go with remake


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You put your RESOLVE HAT back on, which conveniently is the same hat as your NORMAL HAT.
{Drakeryn}