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| Topic | Gauntlet Crew Ranks 90s Horror Films - Do you like ranking scary movies? |
| Snake5555555555 06/26/19 12:03:15 PM #123: | Johnbobb - Don't get me wrong, this is a mostly exciting movie. It's violent and legitimately scary at time, but man does it get worse as it goes on. It suffers by having it's least compelling character as its main protagonist, and when you see him survive over the more enjoyable characters EVERY TIME, it just gets old. The visual effects are decent, especially the practical effects. But ultimately, it's just not all that good. KBM - A lesser entry in the killer shark subgenre (a subgenre I do have a certain fondness for), this nonetheless does have a couple things going for it that keep it from being among the very worst of its kind. First and foremost, unlike the films beneath it on this list, the death scenes actually get pretty fun and creative especially the one where Samuel L Jackson gets eaten right in the middle of a motivational speech. The cinematography is pretty great; Renny Harlin has a knack for knowing where to put the camera even if he's far from the best storyteller in Hollywood. And then there's LL Cool J, who's delightful and thankfully stays alive through the whole movie. Sadly, though, that's where the good stuff ends, and the rest of the movie is, uh, a wash. It's possible to turn off your brain and enjoy the schlock factor here, but just watching the highlights on YouTube is a much more expedient use of your time. Karo - In an attempt to cure Alzheimer's, scientists do tests with genes and brain enzymes and shit. They use big fucking sharks for this because the pet store was out of hamsters. For this endeavor, they all live on this submerged complex in the middle of the fucking ocean because why have your valuable research somewhere safe and easy to get to when you can have it destroyed by a hurricane? After a series of events involving a helicopter filled with ten tons of TNT hitting the station, they are trapped because they literally built only one stairwell to the surface in their big-ass underwater research lab. The survivors take a zigzag path through the structure with one ridiculous contrivance after another stringing along the plot, all while being chased about by genetically modified sentient super-sharks. It is simply an excruciating experience to watch this group of unlikable characters with lame acting and bizarre dialogue crawl about this station that takes so long to fill with water that I suspect it must harbor a portal to the sponge dimension. Ever wonder what would happen if Micheal Bay made a Jaws reboot? Well, wonder no longer because that is pretty much what this is. --- Listen, suffering is a fact of life. Either you learn how to deal with that or you go under. https://i.imgtc.ws/2Q88rI4.gif ... Copied to Clipboard! |
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