LogFAQs > #927269730

I decided my new blue elephant friend and I were going to enjoy a ride. You see that Kamikaze-ride in the background where I was holding the elephant up? I was going to record a video of us riding it (which in hindsight would have been disastrous), but they told me I can't ride it by myself and the elephant was too big to fit inside anyway.

That's fine I guess, except I already bought my tickets. Crap! It also sucks because it required five tickets to ride it and they sell tickets four at a time for $5. I asked the ladies at the ticket booth to keep three of the eight I purchased and give them to a kid they thought would need it -- they smiled and said sure.

Now that my ride of choice has shut me down, I scouted for other rides. I eventually settle on this colorful one called Axis that I'd been eyeing awhile -- it looked fast, it was a classic-looking ride from my childhood, and I thought there was a chance my elephant would be included.

That chance did not actually exist. I bring it to the ride and they tell me I have to sit it on the ground during my ride. I talk the ride-runner into taking a picture of me on the ride with my prize though -- appreciated that. This ride was only four tickets, meaning I could have saved myself $5 on tickets afterall! Oh well -- I give him the extra ticket and ask him to give it to a kid who might need it later.

As I'm getting my picture taken, a woman yelled from twenty feet away "LOOK AT HIM GETTING A PICTURE WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND." Touche.

If you couldn't tell what Axis rides like, basically the entire thing spins counter-clockwise and then the trio of seats at the end of each arm of the ride also spins counter-clockwise. It gives you constant moments of WHOOOOOOAAAAAAooooaaaaaaOOOOOOAAAAAAooooaaaaOOOOOOAAAAAAHHH and all forces push you to the right of your seat. It's wild to remember these kinds of things are legal, but it's fun and we didn't die so okay. The two scariest things were:

1) Remembering this ride was mostly for kids, and by that I mean my head was eye-level with the game-runner's umbrella. I could have slapped that umbrella several times, no question. Way too close!

2) The game-runner hit the break real hard! The slow-down of speed was one thing, but it was more about that wicked sound screeching metal can make. That's scary!

I get off a little dizzy with a stretched out neck, and as I walk off with my prize a different woman asked me about how I won my prize. She's shocked I won it for five dollars and said I might leave this fair with a girlfriend. Thank you for being much more supportive, but this ain't a date -- it's a mission thirty years in the making.

As I leave, I hear security casually say to their co-workers "If you see him coming in, you'll see him leave with a prize." That's right.

I then rushed home to drop the prize off before a table reading I barely made on time. Schedule's similarly tight the next few days!
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