LogFAQs > #929906627

04. Save the Queen
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The British Empire rose to power in much the same way as the fading glory of the Spanish Empire before it. Through killing people. It is fitting, then, that in Final Fantasy, Save the Queen is usually a blade made for killing people. What better way to save a monarch than to kill all those who would bring her harm? In Final Fantasy VIII, Save the Queen takes the form of a whip instead, but this can be attributed to the wielder's many-splendored kinks. At just 18 years old, Quistis Trepe has lived an impressively diverse sexual life; she has already discovered the ultra-niche bad breath fandom, so it's no wonder she turned a Queen's salvation into BDSM.

I could talk about Save the Queen's swordly-lordly appearances in video games other than Final Fantasy IX, but there is precious little point in so doing -- save, of course, for the mention that in Final Fantasy Tactics, the weapon is held by one Meliadoul Tingle's Rosee Red Rupee Land. It is in Gaia, however, that Save the Queen earns its fourth-place keep. Beatrix uses this blade to instantly leave the player's ragtag mouse band of party members at 1 HP, which in real-world, get-a-job terms is the rough equivalent of ripping someone's arms and legs off, ruining their necks forevermore, and then patching them up with just enough gauze to prevent them from bleeding out completely before the paramedics arrive and, I don't know, what do you even do for a patient at that point? Blow on it?

It is precisely because Beatrix not only cannot be beaten but looks like a boss whilst cutting me up -- step on me, Beatrix -- that I cannot help but declare my love and devotion to the eponymous "Queen."

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Hi! I'm Quinton.
Did you know that Emilia Clarke will be my wife in 2023?