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TopicTrdl's Top 25 Bosses -- The List + Writeups!
trdl23
11/19/19 10:04:07 PM
#16:


#23: The Hell's Sun (Utsuho Reiuji, Touhou 11: Subterranean Animism)

I wanted to go see above ground for myself... And then I'll melt it all away with my atomic fire.

https://youtu.be/vx3Kp7uRiBI?t=120

By the time I got around to playing Subterranean Animism, I'd seen some shit in Gensokyo. A maid who was an anime girl version of DIO, a ghost who can kill you by just wanting to, a goddess who was taking away all of my business, and even jackass squatters from the moon. Yes, really. Touhou is a crazy-ass fever dream of a series, and bless ZUN's perpetually drunken soul for it. Just in this game I'd wrestled an oni, had a psychic jerk use my tag-team-partner's magic on me, and fended off a catgirl who really, REALLY wanted my corpse along with her zombie fairy brigade. I figured I'd seen most everything that this game could call a bullet. Now it's time to beat up the bad boss, stop the vengeful spirits from leaking back above ground, and go drink some tea. That's how Reimu rolls.

I did not account for a birdgirl to have swallowed a god, gained the power of nuclear fusion, and started planning the annihilation of everything outside of the underworld. I had certainly not accounted for said bird shooting miniature suns at me Jesus fucking Christ

Pretty much all late-stage Touhou bosses are awesome. It's just how the series works. They're quite evocative to boot, especially when it comes to the special "spell card" attacks that the games are famous for. The music is legendary for a reason and captures the essence of each character. But Utsuho packed a punch not just for coming out of left field in a series where I thought nothing could surprise me anymore -- the real killer moment was the extra sound design that went into her spell card declarations:

CAUTION! CAUTION! CAUTION! The words scroll across the screen as honest-to-God nuclear warning klaxons blare in my ear. Beyond just cool music and ridiculous bullet patterns to dodge (by the way, you have no HP; one hit = one life lost), the additional aesthetics get me on the edge of my seat. This dumbass bird is playing with actual nuclear power, and we are immediately fucked if I don't deal with her right here, right now.

Finally, in true Touhou fashion, Utsuho gets this whole "cleanse the world in nuclear fire" shit out of her system after I smack her down, and we find out this whole thing was a plot from the antagonists of the previous game to generate electricity for their worshipers. That way, they could attract more followers and faith. A Moriya Shrine Conspiracy. God damn it. Another day in the life of a miko with no social skills.

In case you were wondering... that's just the fight on normal mode. You want to fight Utsuho on the hardest difficulty? Get ready to put some hair on your chest because I sure can't do this:

https://youtu.be/BQLIaZUOnBU?t=123

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