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TopicKamek Ranks & Rates Anything Mario Party Related
Kamekguy
05/02/20 5:35:46 PM
#9:


Punnyz posted...
were you able to win the tug of war games in Mario party 1?

One of the routes had Tug-O-War, which was the 1v3 rotation game where you're the 1. The other route starts with Cast Aways, which was the weird fishing rod one that ALSO had you rotate to mimic reeling in the line. The fishing one sucks significantly more for having you try to control how strong you flick the N64's crummy stick.

Slapparazzi (SMP)
Funny game is funny. Positioning is based on timing your punch right before the camera flash, meaning that the usual jank of Mario Party character models is mitigated somewhat by there being a proper, if not easily detected, timing to shove the big-body boys out of the way. Everyone has a good time and actively screams at each other and insults the body types of Mario characters. Very good game, if a bit imprecise and questionable as to how exactly it determines who's the most prominent in the photo sometimes.

Kamek (MP2)
Yo low-key, Darkness Lamp sucks. You pay 10 coins in Horror Land in order to shift time from Day to Night. The issue with this is, there are more than 10 spaces in between the Darkness Lamp and Big Boo, who will steal coins or stars from all three players only at night, AND Big Boo is behind a skeleton key door, so you can't mushroom to guarantee Big Boo. Using the lamp also turns it to night immediately, meaning that once your turn ends, you'll shift to late night, essentially giving you one turn to roll high and get Big Boo. The only time the Darkness Lamp is useful is if you're at the top left-corner of the board to start the turn (or bottom-left Mr I Warp), roll very high, AND it's early day AND you have a Skeleton Key, or someone's about to go into the 2-boo alley through the center of the map and you wanna immobilize Whomp to prevent that... which only really matters if you have the star lead. And worst of all? This bastard is the one sober enough after an all-night bender in a mansion to wake up and ask if you want to fund his party, then not invite you to it. He's an ass who brings alcohol to a party and then acts too superior and noble to drink it. Kamek sucks.

Booksquirm (MP4)
Probably among the best 4-player mini-games in the series. There are few arguments that cannot be solved with a game of Booksquirm. It is fair, it is relentless, and it is always tense. And it has the stupid goofy "eh, whatever happens happens" music going on in the background. The chance for dicking your friends over is minimal due to no jumps to cause the 'flatten' state, and in spite of that, you can STILL get accusations of shoving someone into the crush zone. It's the envy of mini-games and deserves its spot as a legend.

Control Stick Spinning (MP1)
Some would say scarring and blistering your hand is a detriment, but that's a FEATURE. The reason it sucked so much was that the N64 control stick was the equivalent of driving a plastic spoon into your hand after chewing on it for a while and rubbing it down. With alternate controllers, it still burns, but it goes from "intolerable" to "it hurts". Thus, spinning mini-games become a battle of "is it really worth destroying my hand for these coins?" This becomes wonderful in games like Paddle Battle or Tug-O-War, where the 1 player in the 1v3 can try to talk the other team into throwing so that their hands will survive, and if ONE of the three decides "yeah sorry this baby board game isn't worth physical pain", then everyone is upset, two people are in pain for no reason, and one person is laughing the pain away. It's not GOOD, physical pain is a bad thing in general, but it is VERY Mario Party to find joy in suffering.

Millennium Star Tier
Booksquirm (MP4)

Super Star Tier
Slapparazzi (SMP)

Happening Star Tier
Control Stick Spinning (MP1)

Sonic Shuffle Tier
Kamek (MP2)

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