LogFAQs > #967608472

Naysaspace posted...

deny

for all confirms: do you think you were put in this position, or are you residing to it? or have you got to a level you're satisfied with?

My circumstances and how I got to where I am aren't easily categorized. I've made plenty of poor choices that definitely played a role in shaping my failure and cause me regret up until this very day, but there's also failures on the part of society itself (such as an inability to address bullying and bigotry), where I live itself (a poor rural area in Southeastern Kentucky, which is full of the bigotry I mentioned), and poor/abusive parenting while growing up (mostly on the part of my father, who permanently ended up damaging me despite our relationship getting a little better in recent years). Hell, I don't even really have any hopes or dreams, either.

What this really amounts to is a person who is severely emotionally damaged and is afraid of most people, things, and of really even just doing anything in general.
@Naysaspace

AmericaTheBrave posted...

It does. If you really love this person, then marrying should be an objective Confirm for you.

But I'm wondering if you're really engaged in the first place. IIRC, you've never had a real boyfriend in the first place, you've only e-dated them. Is this a real engagement? Be honest.

Marrying actually does very little to improve anything. I'll still end up doing exactly what I do now: staying in my house with little societal contact and no hopes or dreams, and little fulfillment. I'll just have another person to do that with.

And yes, it does count. I consider him my soul mate and can't imagine a more perfect match, considering how we're identical in most ways (which is important to me, considering how relatibility is a lense I filter most things through, and how domineering I can be in regards to getting people to agree with my opinions on subjects I consider important); we were even born less than a day apart. The only complaint I have is our inability to bring things together, but that's solely because neither of us has any money. I have no income at all and his only income in disability (he has MS), so we couldn't support ourselves.
@AmericaTheBrave