LogFAQs > #970367667

Speaking of War being baited
14 up

14. Thom Kallor

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/5/0/AAOJ0pAADZyS.jpg

I am absolutely not the Deadpool of the campaign. The very idea is absurd, I have nothing in common with that Campain 3 Marvel garbage.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/4/3/AAS3NhAAEBW_.jpg

See? He's red! I'm blue! Completely distinct.

This placement has been a long time coming. A LONG time. Remember War and MI having their entire rankings up and posted in like a month? I think it was a month, damned if I'm actually going to go back and check the you-know-what site to see. Also can't really ask Saoirse about it because BATGIRLS but I'm sure shae's gaut eet wraeten da'hwn sohmwearere.

If you're going to take this long to get these posted they should at least be Pepper Spray-length write-ups, should they not? I'm not looking for a powerpoint presentation but 4000 words would be nice; I've certainly given you all more than that in my time, and I'm only an NPC! Meanwhile I'm sitting here, starry ass on the bleachers, waiting for my chance to shine, thinking of how I should've gotten the role as Dr. Manhattan instead. I sent Zack Snyder my headshot and my HEADshot, and still not a call back.
#RestoreTheKallorCut

I've been reading along though, and honestly, some of these choices are questionable. First off, where the hell is Patch? Every single person ranked Patch, but what, Bloodfruit's too good to talk to a mouse? Bloodfruit hangs out with a literal Banshee that just screeches and eats penguin corpses, like get over yourself. You probably just left him off to screw with Shearshah's stats, didn't you? Wouldn't be the first time!

And Vostok, where is she? You like Vostok! Everyone likes Vostok, she has mean things to say about everyone and everything AND is part of the Doom Patrol. Screw it, this ranking is Thom and Vostok now.

14. Thom Kallor & Valentina Vostok

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/5/0/AAOJ0pAADZyS.jpg https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/5/0/AAQcMAAADjL2.jpg

I mean, if you're gonna screw with the format of a very strictly formatted system, at least do it for the sake of someone worthwhile and not... is that a baby with an eye for a face? Really, JB?

Look, I get it, joke characters are likeable, but they need substance. I mean, look at me! I'm funny AND have major story beats. There has to be a balance. I mean, remember Tokyo? Remember my rehabilitation from the holding facility? What would you even know about that, huh? Nothing.

I shouldn't complain too much. 14 is a solid ranking. Three spots higher than Brennus put me and way higher than Saoirse did, the traitor. At least I'm above Romalthi.

Hint for #13: Am I even supposed to know who this guy is?

Post Script: I know this isn't fully accurate and is a touch more meta than I might be in discord, but what, am I supposed to mix the 3rd person omniscient with the 1st person in a single write-up? That's just sloppy.