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TopicAnagram Ranks Anything Legend of Zelda-related with Full Write-Ups (spoilers)
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07/27/23 11:46:46 AM
#47:


Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening: You know, I'm not really sure about putting this above LttP. I acknowledge that as a complete Zelda experience, LttP is probably a better option. But LA is just more fun, you know? Because it's on the GB, it's more streamlined, so there's way less minute exploring to do. It has, in my opinion, the best trade quest in the series. It has lots of just little weird wacky moments that give it character, like the photographs and the NPCs and the goombas the shopkeeper who zaps you if you steal from him. LttP is probably the better game, but it plays things way straighter, and as a result, I remember LA way better. And man, as a kid, to me, this was Zelda. I played LA:DX like a billion ****ing times as a kid, way more than I played any other Zelda game. I could have done it blindfolded, almost. The only game of comparable length that I played as a kid maybe as many times as this is Pokemon Blue. And in all that time, I've never beaten the final boss without the boomerang. Like, I might go so far as to call LA the silliest game in the series? Obviously, WW and its ilk are more cartoony, but they aren't really as SILLY, and that lends this game a very unique tone in the overall Zelda space. Anyway, I love the color dungeon, what a fun gimmick, but the thing Kid Me hated the most was the boxer miniboss who punches you to the start of the dungeon. Every time I fought him after the first, I was super careful.
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Ghirahim
Medli
Hyrule Warriors
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap: If you look at the Zelda series as a succession of gimmicks, where every game has its own unique gimmick, it's strange that it took this long to get to "shrinking." The tiny world isn't technically another Reverse World from Hyrule, but it's close. Someone should make a list of all the low-effort 'reverse worlds' Link has to visit in this series. Anyway, I go into this more with the Ezlo write-up, but it's funny that Capcom thought they could just make the "original" Zelda game on the ****ing GBA of all things. And they give us a discount Triforce with the "Light Force," get ****ed, Capcom, you're not fooling anyone. How strange that Nintendo licensed out one of its tentpole series to Capcom, and that Capcom made three pretty okay games? Like, they aren't exactly crazy good, but they're all fine. And Vaati, fun guy. Vaati is a fun non-Ganondorf villain, but I know why he never showed up again after FSA. It's for the same reason Mario games always come back to Bowser; Nintendo clearly just values simplicity in the storytelling. The one time they experimented with that, we got Metroid: Other M. I wonder if we'll ever get Vaati as even an AT in Smash? But back to Minish Cap -- it's fine. It's a fun little random side adventure Link went on. It's not genre-defining like OoT, it's not a big disappointment like SS, it's not super popular for a specific generation like LA, it's just sort of there.
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Ezlo: I just want to say, right off the bat, that when I googled "Ezlo," Google lists him as a "TV character." Anyway, Ezlo is one of the better Zelda companions. Crucially, he doesn't completely overdo it like certain companions I could name, and he's integrated into your moveset a little better as a parachute and the mechanism for shrinking, which gives him a little more value. It's funny how this game clearly sets itself up as the origin of Link and Zelda, as the clear first in the series, where a big deal is made of Link getting his first hat ever, and then later they make SS, which MC just completely mogs. I like the end of the game, where Ezlo turns back into a Minish, gives Link a replacement hat, and says it looks good, and that this is the first time he's been able to see Link wear one. Like, Link is just a blond elf whose defining features are that he wears a tunic, wears a hat, has a sword and shield, and is left-handed. Conceptually, taking one of his standard items and turning it into a companion is a good idea. CONCEPTUALLY. Talking to you, SS. And while you theoretically could do the same with Link's shield, I can't recall any game in the series where Link's shield is actually like plot-important? His sword usually is, but the shield is always either just a random shield he found somewhere, or a fancy mirror shield from some ancient civilization that still isn't particularly important, but lets you solve light puzzles.
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Drgn roost island
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks: I have mixed feelings, not about this, but about the loss of the like 'lesser' mobile Zeldas in general. Now that the Switch fulfills the roles of both home console and mobile gaming platform, there's no need for 'smaller' games like LA, Mario Land, etc. Having those off-games in-between the big releases was kind of nice, wasn't it? They were lower stakes for Nintendo, so they could afford to try weird crap, like staying 2D for decades, or a game where 40% of it, you're just standing on a train. Even Pokemon had to go big on the Switch, though that was to its benefit. It feels like we get the same number of 'big games,' but just no longer get the smaller mobile titles, since it's no like we're getting Zelda releases on our iPhones. LBW might legitimately be the final example of that type of Zelda, even Nintendo in general, title. Oh, Spirit Tracks in particular? It's fine. Way better than Phantom Hourglass. This is like the definition of okay. I can't think of anything that sets this game apart from the others, aside from being one of the first ones with an increased focus on Zelda as a companion. Hm, looking up the Zelda Timeline, I see that most of the Toon Link games are sequestered to the side in their own timeline, but not Triforce Heroes, FSA, or Minish Cap. Seems like kind of a missed opportunity? Like, each timeline having its own distinct look seems like a cute, logical thing to do, and they only half-commit to that.
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)

Does it Really Make Everybody... Happy?
David Jr.: I'm gonna level with you, I just read the Wiki page on this guy, and I no memory of him at all. I remember the other Tingle people in WW, but nothing specific. And he's in MC? Who even cares. But the idea of Tingles enslaving a random guy to work for them and wear their stupid costume is kind of funny, so I'll accept it.
Makar
Kass
xenosaga's Impulse Link/Epona Figure
Legend of Zelda (NES)
Nintendo Cereal System
Rod of Seasons

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Forced Stealth Sections
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

If All Else Fails, Use Fire
Freshly-Picked Tingle's Rosy Rupeeland

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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
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