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TopicAnagram Ranks Anything Legend of Zelda-related with Full Write-Ups (spoilers)
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08/09/23 6:04:47 PM
#353:


Hey, Listen!
The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
Z3R
Dead Man's Volley
Bongo Bongo
Anju/Kafei Quest
Magnet Gloves
Gold NES Cartridges
BotW Cooking Jingle
Hestu's Gift
Secret Jingle
Twinrova
Legend of Doom (Mod)
Stealing from the LA Shop
Stone Tower Temple
Link: I said this before, but Link to me is basically the most generic hero possible, in a good way. He has no traits except those you expect to find on any Hero's Journey protagonist, and his defining attribute within the story, courage, is both the most generic hero attribute ever and something that doesn't really express itself as characterization. This is definitely on purpose, because even Mario (Mario!) has more characterization than this. It's obvious this is done to emphasize the "you are Link" element of the character, and this isn't unique to Link, since silent protagonists were common in 80s and 90s. About the only things Link has that makes him stand out are elf ears and a green tunic and floppy hat, and that's probably also to his advantage. He has no really defining attributes that distinguish from the Platonic ideal of heroes, but he does manage to have a unique visual style. So, in the regard of being a memorable main character for your adventure series, he's perfect. But if you're looking for some kind of like really interesting character? He's not just worse than the noncharacter Zelda, he's worse than, like, Samus. At least Samus like looks away in determination and anger when she sees dead soldiers, or chooses not to attack a Metroid she's bonded with. Then again, being the world's most generic hero is still better than, like, what happened to Sonic. To be clear: Link is a blond hair dye and a set of green clothing, not a character. And that's not a bad thing.
Linkle
Bombos Medallion
His Name is Zelda
Second Quest
Tatl & Tael
Great Bay Temple
Heroic Fantasy
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Future of the Series: I'm of two minds on this. I don't think we'll ever get another 'lesser' title ever again, like LA or OoX. I think LBW is the final one, aside from remakes. I think that for the foreseeable future, the only Zelda titles will be huge event releases. There's nothing wrong with that, but I do sort of miss the shorter, more digestable games. Sometimes I want a game that's nine hours instead of eighty, and BotW and TotK sure don't scratch that itch. And don't you dare tell me that you can beat them in half an hour or something and link to some insane speedrunner who does it on a GCN Donkey Kong bongo or something. I think sort of the advantage LoZ has, as opposed to Mario and Pokemon, is that it doesn't really lend itself to being pimped out with spinoffs. Mario is the master of this, he'll put his face on anything, but Pokemon isn't far behind. With LoZ, you know you're always getting a fairly polished title that isn't some quickly-made piece of crap no one actually cared about. I can so easily imagine like a LoZ phone game where you adventure through four randomly-assembled rooms in a roguelike dungeon, and the plot would be that a wizard keeps turning back time so you need to play it again and again and again in order to get the real ending, or some stupid thing like that. As for Fire Emblem, it has way fewer games than the others, but man, its identity as a brand has really shifted toward waifus and gacha. I don't hate modern Fire Emblem, but you can really tell the difference between the pre- and post-13 games. LoZ never really lost sight of its own identity like that. And as for Nintendo's other series, ha. They can't even really be compared anymore. There was a time when like Kirby or Metroid or Star Fox seemed like they might be big, but now they're lucky to get one mid-budget short title every five years. Did you know that Captain Falcon is in more Smash games than F-Zero games? LoZ has sidestepped the fate of all of these series, and remained as Nintendo's chief "we're going to basically take all of the games in the series seriously, and not dilute the brand" series, which is doubtless to its benefit. I'm sure it was a strategic choice, too, because although in 1998, Mario, Zelda, and Pokemon might have seemed roughly as popular as each other, two of these are way easier to make a billion spinoffs and toys out of than the other. Now, watch me be wrong, and tomorrow Nintendo announce The Legend of Zelda: Link's Kitchen, where you have to keep your mom-and-pop restaurant alive as the Ganonburger chain expands into Castle Town, or some stupid thing like that.
Link, the Silent Protagonist
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
The Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons/Ages
Game Over Cutscene (MM)
Ravio
Groose
Fighter Choices (Smash)
Wallmaster
Ghirahim
OoT Title Screen
Medli
Showdown at Old Kakariko
Saria
Subtitles
Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
Jeremy
Radio Zelda (Commercials)
Water Temple (OoT)
Hyrule Warriors
Green (Color)
The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds
I'm so Hungry, I could eat an Octorok!
Molgera's Boss Theme
Kirby (Link's Awakening)
King Zora
Ganon's Tower (LttP)
The Mask Salesman
Dark World
Great Deku Tree
Shigeru Miyamoto
Navi
Tetra
Gold Skulltula
Like Like
Phonogram Man
Royal Crest
The Moon
Dark Link
Door Charge Old Man
Bombable Walls
Wind Fish
Gleeokenspiel
Any% Speedruns
Sidescrolling Segments in Isometric Games
Sidon
Poe Collector

Well ExcuuuuUUUUuuuuuuUUUUuuUuuuUUUUse Me, Princess!
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Pre-Hyrule Historia Timeline Debates
Chopping Signs
Dragons (BotW)
Tunics
Rolling in Ocarina of Time
Temple (Smash Stage)
Rito
Toon Link
Princess Zelda
Stamina
Companions
Hyrule
Colgera's Boss Theme
The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Using Ocarina of Time to speedrun Paper Mario
Katsuya Terada
Ezlo
Dragon Roost Island (Music)
Cuccos
Hylian Shield
Din (Oracle)
Ricky, Moosh, and Dimitri
Leveling System (AoL)
Hand in the Toilet
Malo Mart
Drgn roost island
Ganondorf's Execution (TP)
Shield (Magic)
Screen Wraparound Glitch (LA)
Weapon Durability
Bug-Catching Net
Gannon-Banned
Trains
Christianity Imagery
Shop Fusion Collab
Marin
Agitha
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Gameboy Zelda Aesthetic
The Legend of Zelda (Rabbit Joint)
Cast Performances
1/2 Magic Meter
Milk
Sploosh and Kaboom (Quotes)
Link Gets Bullied
Lord Jabu-Jabu
Spirit Flute


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Not changing this sig until I decide to change this sig.
Started: July 6, 2005
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