LogFAQs > #975356244

Master, I Detect You Are Low on Life
Lizalfos
Ganon: I'm going to say it: Ganon sucks. Changing his name to -dorf and becoming a green human was the best thing that ever happened to him. I view Ganon as basically just a Bowser knockoff, right? Add King K. Rool to this pile of late 80s/early 90s "big animal guy who wants to be king" characters. But where NES Bowser is this weird mishmash of turtle and dragon and at least looks cool, and you can at least presume that as the King of the Koopas, he's the king of like a neighboring kingdom and wants to take over the Mushroom Kingdom (and later he just wants to bone Peach), Ganon just shows up. He doesn't even fight you repeatedly throughout the game like Bowser does, so at least you know who he is first. Everyone is like "watch out for Ganon lol," and then when you finally reach him, he just teleports around and shoots energy balls at you. It actually is a great fight by NES standards, and it's actually a cool idea for him to fight you using magic instead of bulk like Bowser does, but I mean... if you're going to go that route, why is he a giant pig monster in the first place? Make him like a crippled old man who's super weak physically, but teleports around and has force fields or whatever. Make him look like Saruman. Make him look like anything except a giant pig monster that's going to smash you with his giant muscles, and then uses magic spells instead. Hell, I just went onto the Zelda Wiki, and even it says that LoZ's Ganon is "mindless" by this point. He's just there to have a final boss, basically. And I'm going to say it: pigs aren't as cool as turtles and dragons. I'm sure pigs are actually smarter than turtles, but they look stupid, they aren't intimidating at all, and even boars, which actually are dangerous, still look like doofuses. The original Ganon to me is clearly just like the Japanese manga version of orcs, where they're just pointlessly evil pig guys instead of green guys. Why Japan did that, I don't know, but that's what it is. He's worse than King K. Rool, who's at least silly and ridiculous and does things like pretend to be dead and roll a fake credits sequence so he can sucker punch you, and King K. Rool also sucks. Yeah, I said it. King K. Rool and the Kremlings are trash, they're just discount Bowser and Koopa Troopas. And yet he's still way better than the original version of Ganon. Ganon even looks worse than just having regular Ganondorf in regular clothing stab you with a regular sword. He's just a big blue pig-man wearing vaguely royal-looking clothing, with a trident. Can you imagine if they never made Ganondorf, and Ganon was still the villain who shows up in every game, and he just grunts and shoots energy balls at you? What I'll say about Ganon is simply this: he works fine as like Ganondorf being corrupted by too much power in the moment. Like, Ganondorf is doing evil things, Link shows up and beats him in a fight, so Ganondorf juices himself up on magical power and turns into a giant monster that goes on a rampage, that's fine, that's a sensible use of Ganon. But whenever Ganon shows up instead of Ganondorf, I'm just disappointed. I remember playing FSA, and I don't remember anything in that game, but I remember being disappointed that the final villain is Ganon. Honestly, maybe I'll take back what I said about how Ganon should be in Smash, because he's honestly really of lame. No one likes pig monsters in the first place, and the fact that Ganondorf has like emotions and characterization and a backstory and the potential for banter, or at least to get annoyed at you, makes him so much more compelling as a character. And this actually runs contrary to what I said about how WW Ganondorf is the best one, because he's degenerated to this sorry state, and obviously Ganon is even more degenerated, but the difference is that one is a guy and one is a pig monster, and people inherently care more about guys than pig monsters.
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