LogFAQs > #979640811

Still Playing: Saturday Edition (Finale)

Thoughts:
-I cant really do much of anything. No one is around except at the park, and thats just a bunch of nameless nobodies. I guess I go to Heaven.
-The doorman at Heaven is the same animation as the angel at the start of the game. I don't know if this means anything or not.
-I give my real name like an idiot and the guy is like yeah, no, you cant go in. John you dummy.
-Another guy shows up, flashes his hand and just walks in. Uh hey man I have a hand too let me just wiggle it a bit and no? Still cant get in? Drats.
-I got to call Margaret since shes in with these people. She says they all have a marking on their wrist and I ask her to come down to the mall to give me my very own so I can sneak in. Im sure mall kiosks are overflowing with henna tattoo options.
-Margaret draws it on my wrist for me. Its a moth. Suitably creepy for a rich old cult, I suppose.
-Margaret: Are you going to do something stupid? Considering Im widely known as the alien abduction guy and everyone in there should know Im not a part of their weird cult, yeah, pretty stupid Id say.
-John: I cant say what Im going to do. Margaret: You cant tell me? "No I can't pronounce it."
-John: No, Margaret, thats not it. I simply have no idea. John I might advise you to rethink your plan. In that you should have one.
-John: Maybe I can tell you first thing in the morning? Tell you how it went. Yeah, fun first date. One small issue is that youll likely be dead by then.
-John: I brought my pilikin for you. Its in my car if you want to see it Hey baby want to come back to my car to see my weird alien footy pajamas? Never mind, I take it back. John has game.
-John asks Margaret if she wants to keep it and she says no. It fits you so well, John. And it has a very positive energy. Thats exactly what I say when someone tries to give me clothes I dont want, too.
-She thinks I should wear it to the memorial tonight. Better than the trenchcoat Ive been wearing, I guess. Still think alien guy thats been all over the news is going to draw attention though.
-I go up and talk to the doorman, like an idiot. And say there was a misunderstanding earlier, like a double idiot. Somehow it works and he lets me in. He shouldve been like uh you know I saw you look at that guy and then you left for an hour and now you come back and then pick me up by the scruff of my neck and toss me out.
-First thing I can inspect inside this place is ice cream. MORE PLEASE
-We got someone on the violin, someone on the harp, a bunch of rich people in dark clothing. Ritualistic sacrifice when?
-There is some sort of performance going on, which means I have time to sneak around since everyone is distracted. Thanks whatever the hell is going on in the back.
-Its like a ring of people holding hands above their head and moving around in a circle. "Cool"
-I grab a snack from each table and then decide its time to leave. John did you come here to investigate or to raid their dessert service?
-I go out the back and notice the white truck parked here that I saw in the footage. KIDNAPPERS! I TOLD YOU JOHN! RICH ASSHOLE KIDNAPPERS!
-I open up the truck and two henchmen immediately come out. Good timing, John.
Shorter man: I recognize you. This is the guy from the newspaper. Gee my plan of having no plan and being the most famous guy in town somehow didnt work.
-They ask what I saw and I say nothing, and the taller guy is like hes lying the truck is wide open. John you are so bad at this.
-They shoot me and the screen turns black. WHAT THE HELL THIS BETTER NOT BE THE ENDING
-It isnt. Phew.
-I somehow survive. Not sure how. They apparently shot me, tossed me in the dumpster, and went back inside. These guys are even worse at their job than I am!
-Was I wearing my special bulletproof pilikin?
-Apparently, no. I have a flattened bullet now and all John can think is that something flattened it. It ripped a hole through his pilikin and trenchcoat, but not him for some reason. Strange.
-I try opening the truck again and this time it works. Damn. I was hoping to get stuck in a loop where they kept shooting me and then throwing me in the dumpster and confusedly coming back outside two minutes later.
-Inside the truck John finds transmission equipment. Fancy stuff though, not my poor people stuff.
-I start listening and it is a weird radio recording. Probably The Darkest Hour from earlier. And it sounds like some sort of attempt at hypnosis. Either that or its the worlds most boring radio program ever.
-Before I can hear the count down from one hundred, I hear someone open the back door again. Thank you for saving me from that scene, whoever you are.
-John quickly closes the door to the van and hides behind boxes. Better than getting shot again, I guess.
-Well the van starts so I guess were going on a field trip! Hopefully to an amusement park and not a kidnapping emporium.
-The engine stops, someone leaves, and then its quiet for a bit. Ok, time to get out and see where the hell Im at.
-Huge mansion. Yep, rich people cult confirmed. Time to get out of here before they eat my liver to preserve their youth.
-Theres a rusty old bike leaning against one of the walls, but for some reason John doesnt use it to ride away screaming for help.
-John does a smart thing for once and just doesnt walk through the front door. We sneak through the side and find a back entrance nice.
-He also does a not smart thing and sticks his head way too far into a well to try and see and loses his hat. Damn. It completed the look. Now the trenchcoat and pajama robe looks silly.
-So inside is an insanely long table. There is a bucket of black sand and a really old looking book. Not a good start here.
-John: Liturgy of the NestLiturgy of the Harvest..no, these arent recipes. Oh God, John, you think? Which one of the horrific chapters titles tipped you off?
-Also in case youre dumb like me and didnt know what liturgy meant, it is a form according to which public worship is conducted. So my rich asshole cult is all but confirmed.
-John decides he doesnt have time and leaves the book. Dude, READ THAT. Arent you curious what the hell this crazy cult is doing?
-Also on the table is an empty wicker basket. Thats at least less threatening. Maybe this family just likes to shop at Hobby Lobby.
-Theres a locked door and a phone here too, but John cant use either just yet. Well then, Im stuck.
-Oh nevermind. Some maid comes walking in to uh fluff the flowers? Is that what youre doing.
-I decide to talk to her because I cant do anything else. Hopefully my tattoo tricks her better than the guys that shot me.
-Lady: Everything is in order for the Chrysalis! God, lady, Im not sure there is a combination
of words I wanted to hear less right now.
-Lady: The ring is basted five times! Oh ok nevermind you found one.
-Lady: All the fight is out of them. Ooooh boy. Lady, you are the master of not fun sentences, you know that?
-Lady: Well be wanting for spice after this evening. What does that mean???
-Well at least I get a note on Chrysalis. I use this on the giant book and find a chapter on it. Im sure this wont be horrifying, so lets go.
-Book: The ritual for transmutation. The hand passing the crown rises from the Earth protected by a convoy of serfs. Honorable and wholesome in its construction. John: What? Same John. Same.
-Book: Enter candle maidens. Aw hell yeah candle maidens. Now were getting to the good stuff.
-Book: Lead in hymn in the fourth hour. Lead in procession to Chrysalis. Aw man nevermind. These arent the cool sort of candle maidens.