Board 8 > Dark Tower was a bad movie.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I mean, the only good action scenes we're already in the trailers almost entirely, they explain nothing about anything in the movie, and nothing worth watching happens until over halfway through the movie, and even Matthew McCoghnahey waving his magic dick around for the majority of the movie loses its value when he stops doing anything cool.

I don't understand how they fucked this up so hard.
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The sprinkling of references was cute, but they could have done so much more. The entire movie was garbage and served only to make me disappointed and irritated.
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I saw Detroit it was a good movie
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Like, I understand what they wanted to go for with this movie, and it's a good idea. Roland being surrogate dad for the kid. But that doesn't begin until like the last 20 minutes of the movie. And the movie only starts to feel good after Roland is on Earth. Before then it's just a whole lot of nothing where they throw ideas at you and don't establish any of them. And then when you think you understand it, they add something else to it and it's just like... Ugh. Badly made movie.
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Is Idris Elba at least cool as fuck?
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ExThaNemesis posted...

Is Idris Elba at least cool as fuck?

Uh, no. He's a fucking lame ass that has a ton of trouble killing one random demon (in a totally pointless and long scene) and spends the next major fight scene being injured and killing people in slow, unimpressive ways.

He gets good when he is on Earth and there's actually comedy and serious stuff. But he doesn't do any of the cool stuff in the trailers until the end of the movie where somehow he can all of a sudden kill tons of people easily.
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PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

ExThaNemesis posted...

Is Idris Elba at least cool as fuck?

Uh, no. He's a fucking lame ass that has a ton of trouble killing one random demon (in a totally pointless and long scene) and spends the next major fight scene being injured and killing people in slow, unimpressive ways.

He gets good when he is on Earth and there's actually comedy and serious stuff. But he doesn't do any of the cool stuff in the trailers until the end of the movie where somehow he can all of a sudden kill tons of people easily.

...

Elba was fantastic.

The Demon you speak of wasn't just your average demon. It wasn't one of Walter's little henchmen, a basic mutant or a farrier or anything like that. It was one of the true demons that The Tower protects against. Even with the skill Roland has, it isn't easy to kill.

In the next fight scene, it's a different take on the book scene where, Roland suffering from blood poisoning, has to be taken care of by Eddie. He isn't just slow for no good reason. He literally can't even use one arm and is struggling with the other because he's so weakened.

The last fight scene, Roland is at the top of his game. He's healthy. He's well fed. He's on Keystone Earth Opiate Painkillers. He even says "I haven't felt like this in years". Not to mention, the people he's killing are just basic crappy henchmen, so of course he wipes them out.

That said, the movie is not the movie we, or the characters, deserved. It could have been so much more.
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Well, yeah. Elba did a great job, but he didn't come across as cool as fuck for the majority of the movie because his character wasn't cool as fuck until like 2/3 of the movie is over. My point I was making was based on him looking unimpressive and lame, regardless of the context of the scenes.

And you can say this demon is super impossibly strong to beat, the poisoning slowed him down, among other things, but it doesn't make for a good movie. At all. And it doesn't make for good action scenes either. Why not still let him do some crazy stuff or cool stuff in those scenes? Why not show that even though this thing is strong, this gunslinger thing (which is still barely described in the movie) is a big deal? Instead he just struggles, but not because this demon seems strong or anything. Like, him overcoming it doesn't make him look awesome when the only thing we're ever told about gunslingers are that they're supposed to be badass saviors.

My point is, this isn't a book where you can afford to have more drama than action in these scenes. This is a movie which is visual and it tries hard to make any action scenes look good, but they fall flat except for the last ones. And Roland didn't interest me or even look like he has potential to be some savior badass until literally the last fight scenes. It's just a bad movie that does a bad job with characterization.
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I think the "struggling with a demon" point is pretty dumb since it's pretty easy to draw the conclusion that the Tower literally exists to keep these things out, so they must be pretty tough shit. This point just seems incredibly nitpicky.

You seem the be replacing the concept of "characterization" with "Is he an unbeatable badass from the beginning? No? Then it's bad characterization."

I mean,

PrivateBiscuit1 posted...

My point is, this isn't a book where you can afford to have more drama than action in these scenes.

literally sounds like you're saying "Why drama? Why not just Michael Bay it?"

It's implied Gunslingers are these "badass saviors," yes. But we're also directly told that they all got their asses handed to them and lost, so that in itself puts Roland above the rest.And if he just is a badass and downs that demon like it's nothing, then there's literally no threat anymore. It's like... Who cares if the Tower falls? Roland can just take them out.
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How was this movie not just The Good, The Bad and The Ugly with some random fantasy and sci-fi elements sprinkled in?
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So it sounds like they didn't include Tull.

wtf, that's like a slamdunk way to make the first movie have a fucking sweet action scene
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To be clear, I agree it's not a great movie, as somebody who went in with no knowledge of the source material. But you don't need to nitpick questionable things to prove that. There are plenty of flaws otherwise.
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CoolCly posted...

So it sounds like they didn't include Tull.

wtf, that's like a slamdunk way to make the first movie have a fucking sweet action scene

Yeah but how would they have included our new main character in that?
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@HashtagSEP The implication of the Dark Tower seemed to be that the sheer number of demons that were still pretty powerful would be enough to destroy all the Earth's, not that each of them could individually almost kill a gunslinger. Like they wanted to get rid of all the gunslingers so the multiple Earths would be unable to be saved. At least, that's how it came across the me and the person I saw it with. That's why it felt like he was just a lame ass.

And I'm not saying to "Michael Bay" it. I'm saying to actually include some good action in your movie if you're going to bill it as such. It was good damn boring watching each of those scenes, and it's absolutely possible to include drama as well as action that makes Roland look like he's some kind of awesome badass. I never said he had to kill the demon like it was nothing, I said that he should at least look like he's cool as hell and strong coming out of the fight, and he wasn't at all.

I don't know why you take something I say and then go the complete furthest hyperbole direction you can with it to try to make a point. So I'll just say it as simply as I can:

The movie would have been better if they actually had interesting and fun fight scenes to make Roland look cool and strong before the final fight scene. That's all.
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My gf knew very little about it going in, and she fell asleep multiple times in a 94 minute movie. I don't think calling it dull is unfair at all.
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My girlfriend wanted to leave actually because she was so bored watching it, and she's usually into this kind of stuff. We decided we needed to see it through since we paid for it.
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apparently it made 19 million on its opening weekend
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Peace___Frog posted...

apparently it made 19 million on its opening weekend

That's pretty terrible right?
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Oh i have no idea about that. Probably, though.

See the TURTLE of enormous girth! On his shell he holds the earth.

All things serve the beam.
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Discworld! :P
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Blaine is a pain, and that's the truth.
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Oy!
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