Board 8 > Anagram Ranks B8-nominated Waifus Part 3: The Top Fifteen

(+) Yeah! (+)

I enjoyed when he got punched in the face
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Leeron is the best Steve Blum VO due to just how un-Steve Blum-like it is.
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Murphiroth posted...

Leeron is the best Steve Blum VO due to just how un-Steve Blum-like it is.

I didnt even know it was Steve Blum! TTGL is so good. I almost put it into my space show ranking before deciding it didnt quite qualify.
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I guess I could throw my hat into the "TTGL isn't very good" ring, but Yoko was one of the few decent things about it before I dropped it, so I'll give her that, at least.

although the fact that she fell for Kamina would plummet her pretty far down any waifu ranking I made

can't trust a girl who falls for a guy like that
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also if I had known Anagram had such immense respect for kindergarten teachers I'd have nominated Kyou Fujibayashi

a.k.a. second best tsundere ever
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I can see the attraction to Kamina, hes good looking and energetic.

And hey man, I certainly dont have the patience to deal with a million little kids all day.
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8. Hermione Granger
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/harrypotter/images/4/41/Hermionedhface.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20161221044857
Origin: Harry Potter
Nominator: Not_an_Owl (0/5 Remaining) (ELIMINATED)
Looks: 71
Personality: 78
Projected Wife Capacity: 84
Overall Score: 77.7

Hermione is the smart kid in the trio of Harry Potter characters who actually matter, a character I instantly knew just intuitively how to pronounce the name of despite never encountering it as a kid before, and holy ****, the first book takes place in 1991? But it came out in 1998! I mean, I know that the movies gave up on the anachronisms and just did whatever, but I thought the first book takes place when it came out. This doesnt sound right to me, but at the same time, Im not fool enough to dispute a Wiki article thats 35000 words long.

I suppose it goes without saying, but Im using the movie version of Hermione for looks, making her yet another person who benefits from a largely arbitrary rule. Especially since Emma Watson ended up looking nothing like the frumpy Hermione in the books, and also ended up being the only major character in the movies with a career left when they were done. Anyway, shes a standard Hollywood shes so ugly and not at all attractive girl whos clearly much hotter than normal women. Theres not much more to say about her actual looks, so Im just going to complain about that for a little bit. Who does Hollywood think theyre fooling? The weirdest one ever was in Ugly Betty, where Bettys ugliness is so important a plot point that its in the title yet the actress is a perfectly attractive twenty-something, and to cover it up they give her braces?

Personality-wise, Hermione is studious, intelligent, responsible, and hard-working, and puts an emphasis on logic and skepticism, which is probably a difficult task for a witch. Im kind of impressed that Rowling never gave her any overtly nerdy hobbies, but I guess thats because most nerdy hobbies would require access to muggle things like video games and comic books. Hermione does have one major flaw, though, which is that shes kind of meddling and a busy-body, trying to help the house elves who dont want her help, but hey, no ones perfect.

PWC-wise, Hermione is smart, has a job, and can use magic, which I assume that as my waifu she will have no problems using for me. I mean, if I could impress a girl by using magic all willy-nilly, I wont lie, I probably would.

Overall, Hermione is definitely the most interesting of the main three characters in Harry Potter, and probably the best of all of the kids. I know a lot of people like Luna, but I think a lot of that has to do with the quality of actress who portrayed her. One day I want to reread the Harry Potter books to see if theyre as good as I remember (probably not), but its so far down on my backlog. I mean, I havent even started IT.
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If I recall correctly, Rowling didn't intend to set the first book in any particular year, but Nearly-Headless Nick's Death Anniversary date gave it away and Rowling lowkey regretted it. CMIIW.

Also Hermione wasn't meant to be monstrously ugly...she just had bad hair, bad teeth, and average everything else. And in the Goblet of Fire's Yule Ball she took care of those and was very beautiful that Harry and Ron didn't recognize her at first.

...did I sound like a big nerd? >_>

I do agree with your assessment though, best waifu from HP by miles.
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Hermione is best for sure, but Cho could've been so much more of a contender!
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Raka_Putra posted...

If I recall correctly, Rowling didn't intend to set the first book in any particular year, but Nearly-Headless Nick's Death Anniversary date gave it away and Rowling lowkey regretted it. CMIIW.

Also Hermione wasn't meant to be monstrously ugly...she just had bad hair, bad teeth, and average everything else. And in the Goblet of Fire's Yule Ball she took care of those and was very beautiful that Harry and Ron didn't recognize her at first.

...did I sound like a big nerd? >_>

I do agree with your assessment though, best waifu from HP by miles.

You do sound like a nerd, which means this is the place for you. I didn't know Rowling wanted an ambiguous timeline either, which is neat.
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trdl23 posted...

Hermione is best for sure, but Cho could've been so much more of a contender!

I remember liking Cho in the books whenever the one came out where Harry dates her.
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7. Rachel Cole-Aves
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/marveldatabase/images/8/83/Rachel_Alves_003.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120511011338
Origin: Marvel Comics
Nominator: Snake5555555555 (1/5 Remaining)
Looks: 77
Personality: 77
Projected Wife Capacity: 80
Overall Score: 78

Rachel has the dubious honor of being the highest ranking waifu with whom I was totally unfamiliar prior to these rankings. My knowledge of the Punisher is limited to that one page where a skinny nerd gives him a gun that shoots knives and someone editing all of the text to Its a frank that franks franks, Frank, and the ratta-tat-tat of the bullets to frank-frank-frank-frank-frank. Anyway, shes basically just female Punisher. Her husband was murdered and now she murders people vaguely associated with the people who did it.

Looks-wise, well, shes a tall redhead with a cute short haircut and is very athletic. Whats not to love? By the way, Im just assuming shes tall because all superheroes are tall except Wolverine, whos only sometimes tall.

Personality-wise, shes dedicated to killing criminals and is very reckless. She served multiple tours in Afghanistan, so I also dont doubt that shes disciplined and hardworking.

PWC-wise, well, heres the issue. Yes, shes an adventurer whos always busy killing people, breaking the law, and all of that jazz, buuuuuuut shes doing that because her husband was killed. I assume that if shes my waifu, then shes going to have no need to continue her murder spree. Then again, I might get killed to provide her with more motivation to kill criminals, so who knows?

Overall, Rachels kind of a difficult waifu to justify having this high. In all seriousness, I wonder how long it would take the Punisher to get caught or killed by the police in real life, assuming the mob or whatever didnt get him first.
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Anagram posted...

By the way, Im just assuming shes tall because all superheroes are tall except Wolverine, whos only sometimes tall.

lmao
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Dispute it if you disagree!
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I'll dispute it. No one can look at the thousands of bodies that the Punisher has left in his wake, seek to emulate it and really be marriage material. There's a failing of military discipline inherit in being the Punisher.
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MarquessLaus posted...

I'll dispute it. No one can look at the thousands of bodies that the Punisher has left in his wake, seek to emulate it and really be marriage material. There's a failing of military discipline inherit in being the Punisher.

Military discipline maybe, but not discipline in general!
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MarquessLaus posted...

I'll dispute it. No one can look at the thousands of bodies that the Punisher has left in his wake, seek to emulate it and really be marriage material. There's a failing of military discipline inherit in being the Punisher.

Well that's kind of a key issue in Rucka's series, without the marriage material part.
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6. Elincia
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/fireemblem/images/c/c1/ElinciaCardArt.png/revision/latest?cb=20160122083004
Origin: Fire Emblem
Nominator: barreldragon88 (0/5 Remaining) (ELIMINATED)
Looks: 85
Personality: 70
Projected Wife Capacity: 80
Overall Score: 78.3

Elincia is the queen of a small country in the continent on Tellius in a series that has become progressively more complicated to follow due to its decision to combine all of the games into one world when they clearly were not intended to be. She also is meant to be a unit that becomes super powerful if you try, but due to her low strength is incredibly hard to raise, making her not super worth the effort.

Looks-wise, well, shes another gorgeous anime girl. Way above average, to the point where Id say she surpasses generic anime cuteness, and she dresses reasonably regally, as opposed to most anime girls of her level of hotness. Funny part is that shes not even in like the top three or five hottest girls in her games. FE9 and FE10 have crazy hot waifus.

Personality-wise, shes respectful, wise, patient, and does her best to always be a proper queen and ruler, prioritizing her country over her own well-being or her friends. Reasonable!

PWC-wise, well, shes a queen and the main boy of her game is totally uninterested in her. A lot of people insist Ike is gay, but theres no evidence for it. Theres even minor evidence actually against it, since FEA introduces his descendant.

Overall, Elincia is competent at healing if you can keep her out of range of enemies, which is usually not difficult because shes also a flying unit. The problem is that you obviously want to use that incredible sword she has that can attack four times per round, but it gets four attacks because shes got like no strength, so shes going to chew through magic units and be totally useless against anything with even moderate defense. Its not unusable, but by the point in the game you get her, I just dont know that shes really worth the effort of raising, since youll almost certainly already be using Mist and other earlier healers.
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Bumpo
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Top 5?

Ya go my Athena.

Glad I specified her over Boomer as somehow I don't think Boomer would rate this high!
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Murphiroth posted...

Top 5?

Ya go my Athena.

Glad I specified her over Boomer as somehow I don't think Boomer would rate this high!

Nonsense, I rate very highly traitorous crazy women who kidnap babies.
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5. Seven of Nine
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/336066466/sevensmiles.jpg
Origin: Star Trek
Nominator: Jeff Zero (0/5 Remaining) (ELIMINATED)
Looks: 66
Personality: 80
Projected Wife Capacity: 90 (Tied for 3)
Overall Score: 78.7

Seven of Nine will forever be one of the funnier additions to Star Trek for me. Not because shes a particularly funny character on her own, but because of the circumstances of how she was made. Someone said lets add T&A to VOY because the show is hemorrhaging viewers, and then someone else lets put her in a skintight cat suit, and then someone else said lets give her really good writing and character development so shes actually compelling, and then someone else said lets give her a terrible haircut. So they did all of those things. Oh, in case you dont watch Star Trek, Seven is an ex-space zombie scientist.

Looks-wise, Seven is honestly not that hot? Part of it is due to her atrocious haircut, its honestly one of the most unattractive haircuts Ive ever seen, and especially on a woman designed to be the fanservice. And thats not me reading into things, Kate Mulgrew (who played the lead in the show) was on the record as being mean and cruel to the actress because she resented having a fanservice character. But she is still pretty hot. Honestly, so much falls back to that awful haircut, its insane.

Personality-wise, Seven starts off weird, nave, and rude, and ends up weird, less nave, and kind. She is consistently super smart and usually the most self-reflective person on the show, in that she can find fault with herself and admit it, and her worldview is usually how do I make things better for the people I live with? And I can respect that a lot.

PWC-wise, well, I already explained her worldview, but she also has the ability to raise people from the dead. For basically no reason she only does this once, but hey, Im not above asking her to abuse this. I mean, honestly, Seven craps out ideas so brilliant they should change the advanced space future she lives in, never mind our time.

Overall, Seven would be kind of a trial due to frequently misunderstanding human society, but I still think shed make an excellent waifu ignoring the fact that shes tried to have sex with both Harry Kim and Chakotay, the two most boring people in the universe.
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Bump
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Thats not even the best pic of Elincia. Still pissed at what they did to her in FEH.

Loved using her in RD. A flier who can quad and heal is amazing.
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Whats she look like in FEH? Ive never played it.
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I drew Elincia with a +str in FEH and she just rips through maps on her own
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Just looked her up. Seems more generic anime cute now.
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4. Giselle
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/disney/images/f/fd/Giselle-apple.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140517073153
Origin: Enchanted
Nominator: Raka_Putra (0/5 Remaining) (ELIMINATED)
Looks: 79
Personality: 69
Projected Wife Capacity: 80
Overall Score: 78.7

Giselle has the honor of being the highest ranking waifu whose movie/game/comic/whatever I havent seen. Im familiar with the concept of Enchanted, but I never actually watched it. Ive heard its okay. Anyway, if youre unfamiliar with it, its about a princess in a Disney-esque animated musical who gets thrown into the real world.

Looks-wise, I almost gave Giselle a special category. Shes the only waifu with two completely different looks, one being live action and the other being animated and lets be honest here, the animated version is way hotter. Nothing personal against Amy Adams, but animated Giselle hits that sweet spot of classic Disney Princess and clean, modern design. I would not have ranked Cinderella very highly, I dont much like those very old designs.

Personality-wise, shes innocent, optimistic, and kind, and it takes her a while to get used to the ideas of anger and sadness even though Disney Princesses frequently feel those emotions. Are you kidding me? Look, Ive seen every Disney Princess movie, the only one whos maybe not felt anger or sadness is Aurora. Lots of them cry during their movies! Anyway, she eventually accepts that the real world is more complex than her fantasy world, which I guess just brings her up to normal? But she still has a lot of positive personality traits.

PWC-wise, shes got a job as a stylist (is stylist or fashion designer just the most generic job for upper class woman in Hollywood movies?). I guess she also is really good with animals, which again is a Disney Princess thing but really its not. Other than the first three, the others are only good with like talking sentient animals, which I think shouldnt count.

Overall, Giselle seems like shed take some effort because she understands the real world so little and also there are no green cards for her fantasy kingdom, but eh, whatever. By the way, I did enjoy looking up the movie and finding that animated Giselle looks only vaguely like Amy Adams, but when Nancy goes into the animated world, she looks almost identical to her live action actress.
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3. Claire Redfield
https://tinyurl.com/ybf4fr6p
Origin: Resident Evil
Nominator: Snake5555555555 (0/5 Remaining) (ELIMINATED)
Looks: 76
Personality: 81
Projected Wife Capacity: 81
Overall Score: 79.3

Claire is the main normal person of the Resident Evil universe. Everyone else is like a cop or a secret agent or whatever, but Claire is basically just a normal chick whose city got attacked by zombies, said I wish I had my cop brother here, oh well, and picked up a shotgun. Also, she apparently works for an organization called Terra Save, which is a terrible name.

Looks-wise, Claire nails the tough-but-still-pretty look in a way the other waifus do not. Its not especially realistic that a girl who spends all day shooting zombies would look this good, I grant you, but Im going to give it a pass. I mean, sure, if youre a professional zombie hunter then the last thing you want is a ponytail they can grab onto, but Im still happy with it.

Personality-wise, Claires confident, strong-willed, heroic, and doesnt care a lot about someones status. Shes not above sarcasm and sass, which I approve of, but is ultimately a compassionate, calm, and helpful woman. All of this sounds great to me. She does like motorcycles, which is a minor strike against her.

PWC-wise, she gave up on actively fighting zombies and joined an NGO. We also know for certain that shes good with kids because she takes care of like four children in this series. Can you keep a child alive during a zombie emergency? Im not even sure I could keep a kid alive during a normal day.

Overall, Claire seems like an A+ waifu.
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I'm a fan of this particular costume for Claire:

http://www.creativeuncut.com/gallery-17/art/rem3d-claire-costume.jpg
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Nameless2000 posted...

I'm a fan of this particular costume for Claire:

http://www.creativeuncut.com/gallery-17/art/rem3d-claire-costume.jpg

Nothin' like fighting the undead in heels. Claire would probably get along well with the girl from Jurassic World.
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That is a pretty nice costume, agreed. This is definitely the highest I've ever placed on one of these.
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2. Sharon Athena Agathon
https://i0.wp.com/www.autostraddle.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/sharon_valerii.jpg
Origin: Battlestar Galactica
Nominator: Murphiroth (0/5 Remaining) (ELIMINATED)
Looks: 71
Personality: 80
Projected Wife Capacity: 90 (Tied for 3)
Overall Score: 80.3

Athena is a Cylon, robots who look human, who betrayed her side and joined humanity, and ultimately gave birth the first and only human-Cylon baby. That sounds important but it ultimately mattered only in a really weird, unexciting way. That final season isnt very good. Anyway, you might think that Athena disagreed with the Cylons committing genocide, their weird religion, their willingness to casually commit atrocities, their leadership being a hypocritical crazy man Nope! Athena is basically fine with all of that. She joins the humans because she likes a boy who happens to be human, and from that point on is willing to help them destroy thousands of Cylons. Its a classic tale of a spy pretending to love her mark only to actually love him. Why would you fall in love with Helo, anyway? Hes like the most boring main character.

Looks-wise, mm, girl in a uniform. I mean, I guess the picture I linked isnt really a uniform but you get what I mean. Shes athletic, toned, and more realistically beautiful instead of fantastically beautiful like most high-ranking waifus. Pretty darn good!

Personality-wise, Im torn. Athena is a genuinely pleasant and interesting person and undyingly loyal to the people she cares about (though thats compounded by the fact that, as a Cylon, any sign of treachery would probably get her killed by humans), but she totally did betray everything she knew for a boy. That said, everything she knew was basically evil robots, so I cant fault her too much on that point.

PWC-wise, heres the thing: we know for certain that shell do anything for her family, to the point of betraying the most powerful force in existence, to the point of infiltrating it again when asked to. And shes a military officer.

Overall, Athena is an extremely high class waifu for men of discerning tastes.
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Bump
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1. Celes Chere
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/finalfantasy/images/a/a7/CelesSprite.png/revision/latest?cb=20110308082150
Origin: Final Fantasy
Nominator: GuessMyUserName (0/5 Remaining) (WINNER)
Looks: 68
Personality: 90 (Number 1)
Projected Wife Capacity: 85
Overall Score: 81

And so we come to our final waifu. Its been a long road getting here, but we can finally, definitively say that Celes is the ultimate waifu, and there will never be dissent on this point, ever. In all seriousness, though, I have fond memories of FFVI. I remember downloading it illegally in like 2001 or 2002 at B8s suggestion and instantly falling in love. I had already played a fan translation of FFV, but this was such a step up.

Looks-wise, Celes is very pretty, but shes not knock-your-socks off gorgeous like a lot of other waifus. But Ive got a thing for long blond hair, and thats what shes got. Shes another warrior-soldier chick (which was not an intentional theme, I promise), and compared to most JRPG heroines she dresses decently, even if she does wear high heels into battle.

Personality-wise, Celes is prideful but not unreasonable. She wants to be proud of the Empire, but she sees it committing atrocities and cant bear to do nothing, which makes her kind. Shes too cynical to admit liking the opera and calls the heroine love-starved, but falls for the same thing with Locke. What, she gets worried when she learns that the boy she likes is using her as a replacement for another girl he failed in the past? Whats her reaction to this? To help him try to help her and to comfort him when he fails. I mean, what? Shes hurt when her friends dont trust her because a murderous clown they have every reason to distrust told them that shes evil? How unreasonable.

PWC-wise, everything I said about her personality applies here. I guess she doesnt have much in the way of job prospects, but at least she could be a solid opera floozy.

Overall, its hard to see things going with Celes. The one thing she seems to demand in a relationship is trust, and everything about her is pretty close to perfect. I dont know if shes the best Final Fantasy waifu overall, but shes definitely an extremely good one.
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I've always thought Celes was unreasonably pretty for a 16-bit sprite.


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Nameless2000 posted...

I've always thought Celes was unreasonably pretty for a 16-bit sprite.

Precisely!
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It's over! Celes is a great pick and @GuessMyUserName should be happy to see her winning the whole thing.

And Giselle getting fourth does make me happy as well. You should really watch the movie! It's fun.

Thanks for running the topic, it was great.
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I've honestly never understood the appeal of Celes but it's been beaten into me that I'm the minority on that one so I'll just move on!

This was a fun ranking to follow along with and while I rarely commented I did enjoy reading new entries. Thanks for taking the time to do it. My only real complaint is that Lightning didn't rank in first place even though she so obviously deserves it.
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Awww yeah.
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Raka_Putra posted...

It's over! Celes is a great pick and @GuessMyUserName should be happy to see her winning the whole thing.

And Giselle getting fourth does make me happy as well. You should really watch the movie! It's fun.

Thanks for running the topic, it was great.

Glad you enjoyed it. I will watch Enchanted at some point.

Mobilezoid posted...

I've honestly never understood the appeal of Celes but it's been beaten into me that I'm the minority on that one so I'll just move on!

This was a fun ranking to follow along with and while I rarely commented I did enjoy reading new entries. Thanks for taking the time to do it. My only real complaint is that Lightning didn't rank in first place even though she so obviously deserves it.

Hooooo boy, FFXIII. Yeesh.
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This was so much fun, Anagram. Thanks for the ride!
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I'm glad people enjoyed it.
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This was the best placement for my waifu in these topics. The previous best was 10th place by Yoruichi in Chriss topic.

Thanks, Anagram!
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also here's this I guess


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I'll never understand the appeal of that big square head style.
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