Current Events > Just got shot down for New Years Eve I think...

(+) Yeah! (+)

I met this girl at a party last week. Spent the whole party talking to her. Thought she might kind of like me, she was laughing at all my stories and just seemed to stick around me even when she had chances to break off.

Posted about how she didn't want to spend New Years at home on facebook, so I asked her if she wanted to hang out on New Years and got the "IDK what I'm doing for New Years, I have to be home by midnight, it's kinda tricky."

Totally deflated. I just told her I could do that and just to let me know.

Guess I should have expected this. First person I've approached since I was diagnosed with Kidney Failure 3 years ago. Sometimes I forget that I'm damaged goods at this point.

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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

what does your kidney failure have to do with this girl? She just wasnt into you. Youre creating some false narrative as if your kidney failure is the reason for her not liking you. She didnt like you, and there will be more girls in the future that wont like you. Its life. But guess what? There will also be girls who do like you. You just have to talk to them and put yourself out there instead of every 3 years.

Probably because this is a common problem I hear about in support groups, but thanks for trying.

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Were you anticipating a romantic encounter or simply spending time with someone on New Years?

KillerSlaw posted...

Spent the whole party talking to her.

Mistake: found

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Josiah_Is_Back posted...

Were you anticipating a romantic encounter or simply spending time with someone on New Years?

More spending time on New Years, just hanging out.

But it's the fact she went from "I've got nothing to do" to suddenly talking about how tricky it was to do anything just deflates me. People don't even want to hang out with me these days.

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AsucaHayashi posted...

Mistake: found

It wasn't like I was hovering around her, it was actually the other way around and she was following me. But please give me more insight into my social gaffs mr. ? block.

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Yeah, sounds like you got turned down. Sorry man, try not to think about it too much. At least you had fun at the party.

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It's possible that after posting that message on Facebook she was contacted by some of her friends who then suggested plans that she found acceptable. In that circumstance, her telling you "it's tricky" may not necessarily be a rejection; but rather an acknowledgement of the fact that she has plans with some of her friends now and she's not necessarily opposed to hanging out with you at some point, but it depends on how things go.

I wouldn't press too hard; if it happens, it happen. If she wants it, she'll contact you. But maybe a week or so after New Year's if you don't hear from her you can always send her a message just asking her how her New Year's went, and if she'd like to hang out at some point. That'll give you a clearer indication at that point on where her intentions lie.

Shes clearly looking for the best possible evening out and keeping her options open, rather than committing to one of the first offers she gets. Everyone who doesnt have definitive plans for New Years does this. Entertain multiple options and select the one you believe you're most likely to enjoy yourself. To be honest, spending it with someone she just met probably ain't high on the list

No reason to take it personally. The average man couldnt make that happen for a day that celebratory with someone he just met a week ago. That's next level game.


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jeffhardyb0yz posted...

Lol this dude crying online about getting turned down and then going back to insult someones gamefaqs status

i bet were the first people you ran to too

It's okay, one day you'll actually be someone in the film/television industry bruh, then you won't have to take out your frustrations on people that are already feeling down.

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Bunch of amateurs.

You tell her you have kidney failure and that you wanted to spend what could possibly be your last New Year's Eve with a beatiful woman.

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KillerSlaw posted...

It wasn't like I was hovering around her, it was actually the other way around and she was following me. But please give me more insight into my social gaffs mr. ? block.

for one you only asked her out after she posted she had nothing to do.


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You gotta come up with something awesome to do.

I also don't like hanging out with people who like to throw pity parties for themselves.

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Conflict posted...

Well this topic got heated quick

lol seriously

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"I have to be home by midnight" is not a 100% rejection, but it for sure is an "I'm not kissing you at midnight."

Doesn't mean anything against going to go get a drink or something.

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Future_Trunks posted...

TC is a neet incel???

I take classes, so not a neet

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Future_Trunks posted...

how does kidney failure have anything to do w getting rejected?

I guess cause its seen as a major disability. It's pretty much the biggest issue among younger patients at the support groups/forums I'm on. It's never really bothered me till now since I've been more focused on my health than making friends.

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TC, you're too negative.

First you assume you were rejected because of s factor the girl wasn't even aware of, them you lash out at users in this topic for no reason.

Work on that.

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this really got out of hand fast

if she doesn't wanna hang then oh well, you don't need her

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Umbreon posted...

TC, you're too negative.

First you assume you were rejected because of s factor the girl wasn't even aware of, them you lash out at users in this topic for no reason.

Work on that.

First of all, she is aware of it. It isn't like she doesn't know me at all, she knows all of my friends and it's generally known that I have kidney failure.

Second of all, no reason? lol I forgot I'm on CE I guess.

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I mean, most adults have to work. We arent all in Time Square behind Anderson Cooper counting down to Village People music.

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Akagami_Shanks posted...

if she doesn't wanna hang then oh well, you don't need her

I guess my issue is I don't typically like people enough to want to get to know them or hang out, and she seemed pretty cool.

Just sucks, you know.

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TC sounds like you have an attitude problem and she probably picked up on it

I suggest you fix it.

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REMercsChamp posted...

TC sounds like you have an attitude problem and she probably picked up on it

I suggest you fix it.

Unlike most here, I don't act the way I do on CE in my personal life. So don't worry about any perceieved attiude problem I have towards inflammatory users on here.

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Fair enough on the first point, but Asuca didn't really say anything that warranted a clapback.

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Umbreon posted...

Fair enough on the first point, but Asuca didn't really say anything that warranted a clapback.

How is what he said not inflammatory, but me simply referring to his user level is?

He didn't offer any constructive criticism, just a typical CE shitpost, which I responded to in like the most tame way possible


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The criticism may not have been constructive, but you were the one who got personal. He basically said "This is where you messed up", which is less hostile(Tame as you were) then what you said.

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Umbreon posted...

The criticism may not have been constructive, but you were the one who got personal. He basically said "This is where you messed up", which is less hostile(Tame as you were) then what you said.

So pointing out user levels is personal now?

Well, by all means I apologize then and you'll have to excuse my ignorance cause I just thought I was taking part in typical CE shenanigans

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Just hang out with her before midnight.

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You implied that their social status was to be questioned due to the age of their account, did you not? That seems to be the context.

If that's not what you mean... well I suppose that's the comedy of misunderstanding.

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Umbreon posted...

You implied that their social status was to be questioned due to the age of their account, did you not? That seems to be the context.

If that's not what you mean... well I suppose that's the comedy of misunderstanding.

No, it was. I just didn't think that was some major insult on CE.

I mean, we're all on CE so that's like the most lamest/tamest comeback. It's something I use all the time but never took it to be like...a major insult. Just like, something you fire back with just to fire back with, you know?

Kinda like pointing out sigless user, or anime avatar.

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AsucaHayashi posted...

Mistake: found

This. TC seems like the type to sit in a chair and pay Tyrone to watch him pile drive a woman he likes.

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Oh it wasn't a major insult by any means. But it was an insult, Jeff pointed it out mockingly, you fired back, and that's how the heat started.

Though I doubt anyone in this topic is actually offended.

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I can see why maybe there'd be second thoughts about getting into a long term relationship with someone with kidney failure, but it's more likely that there's a different reason she didn't accept your invitation than that.

Maybe her status was her fishing for a specific other person to make plans with her.

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Yeah, I'm just saying I thought my comment to Jeff was much more of an insult but me and him go at it constantly it feels like.

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Anteaterking posted...

I can see why maybe there'd be second thoughts about getting into a long term relationship with someone with kidney failure, but it's more likely that there's a different reason she didn't accept your invitation than that.

Maybe her status was her fishing for a specific other person to make plans with her.

seems to be true for most people. A lot of young women seem to just fish for reactions with statuses. Like "somebody sing me a song" translates to "I want this cute person I know to sing me a song but I don't wanna say their name so I can get more attention"

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KillerSlaw posted...

Probably because this is a common problem I hear about in support groups, but thanks for trying.

People in support groups love their excuses.

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What on earth is a fistula

Anteaterking posted...

I can see why maybe there'd be second thoughts about getting into a long term relationship with someone with kidney failure, but it's more likely that there's a different reason she didn't accept your invitation than that.

Maybe her status was her fishing for a specific other person to make plans with her.

I mean, this is more just me being like "shit, maybe all that shit I heard was true" than anything else.

It just sucks hearing that shit for 3 years, then actually putting myself out there for once and...I dunno, I'd rather be told "Maybe, let me see what else is going on." than just a sudden reversal that feels like it's trying to spare my feelings. While done with the best of intentions, it just takes me back to the shit I've heard at support groups for 3 years.

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I have to be home by midnight lmao defeats the purpose of New years.

SauI_Goodman posted...

I have to be home by midnight lmao defeats the purpose of New years.

Without getting into personal details, I believe her when she says she has to get home by midnight due to something she told me earlier.

It's more of the whole "Oh man, it'd be tricky to work out." thing that puts me off, especially after she was fishing for something to do.

Like I said, I would have rather her told me flat out "I dunno, let me see what else is going on." because then it feels less like an out and out trying to get out of hanging with me, which immediately makes me think it's cause of the whole kidney failure thing. I get that's probably not it, and she just doesn't want to hang out, but hearing those stories for 3 years fucks with me.

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suggest an activity that could be done by midnight, like bowling or something

if she says no to bowling, she's crazy anyway, count your losses and move on

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