Board 8 > Suprak's Playdate Play Date (Playing Through EVERY Playdate Game)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Man I was thinking that might be the first to actually outdo Boogie Loops

Haha it was close but A Joke That's Worth $0.99 is at least a game. Well, it's more a mechanic, I guess? It's hard to describe, but like bopping that little guy back and forth is kind of fun for like a minute. They just didn't do anything with it.

Boogie Loops is an unfinished music tool on a device I don't want to use to listen to music. For something to drop below it, it would have to be borderline unplayable.

Ok, so before I post the ending to Questy Chess, here's a funny story about me being an idiot.

I had to completely restart Questy Chess. The item system in this game is bonkers dumb. The pieces are consumable items, so you can run out and have to go back to the couple of levels they spawn in and boost. The rest of the items do not respawn, and once you use them you're out of luck. Using the items in general is a bit of a mess. There is a clone yourself item that clones you, but you can't select where you land. One of the levels has a a movement goal that is entirely dependent on getting the clone to spawn in the right spot, so I had to actually keep quitting out of the level, randomly picking a spot, seeing where the clone would spawn, and when it finally spawned in a favorable location I did the movement puzzle I had figured out like ten minutes ago. Now, if you use all the clone items, you can't do a replay of this level because you literally cannot beat it. So if you used them up, you're just out of luck for getting 100% because this level cannot be replayed. I had reason to believe the game was sloppily made, is what I'm getting at.

There are doors in here that are locked. Some you need to use keys to open. Others will open up if you have a specific piece. So it will show a knight behind the door, you swap to the knight, and the door opens. It closes for any other piece.

Ok. So I get to the second to last level in the entire game, and there is a door with a keyhole behind it. I had used up my keys already. You can play the world in any order, and what I assumed happened was there is another key behind this door you were supposed to use in world "4", but I played that one first and used the key I was supposed to use in this door in another door. I replayed every single level to make sure I wasn't missing a key, but couldn't find any. I almost just decided to move on to something else, but I was too stubborn so I restarted the game.

Like one world in I run into a door locked by a key, and the way it looks is different than the door that has been vexing me. I had forgotten what they look like, but they have a literal picture of a key next to them.

That locked door with the keyhole behind it? Yeah, that was a picture of a pawn, not a keyhold. All I had to do was swap to a pawn to open it, something I didn't do because after you unlock other pieces you have zero reason to play as a pawn.

So that's the story of how I played Questy Chess twice. I may be stupid, is what I'm getting at.

Still Playing: Questy Chess

Thoughts:
-Ok, so in the third area I find a bishop. I have basically every movement I need now, so I go back and unlock all the stuff I was missing from before. There are a couple of stages I think I must need some sort of item for, so Ill check in post game.
-The enemy AI is just terrible in this game. They have this tendency to put themselves directly in danger. It makes things pretty simple when youre the only one using strategy.
-Like, here's a level. There are four rooks in this level and this little wall area you can duck behind. I switch to my rook and move behind the wall. The rooks then each take turns moving down, then moving right in front of where I'm ducking behind the wall so I can kill them. This happens four times. I feel like I'm playing chess against a third grader.
-I have to farm the bishop for a bit too. What an utterly bizarre gameplay choice to make these things consumables.
-I also still have no clue what some of these items. Long range, for example, seems to do nothing. It doesnt seem to change movement or indicate anything. No clue what it is other than a wasted spot in my inventory.
-Heres another weird thing: the game scores you on health. But you can enter a level with less than full health. So you can essentially get punished for how you did in a previous level.
-I cant beat one of these levels yet so I must need a new item. On to area four!
-Area four gives me a queen. All these other pieces are literally useless now. Bye trash pieces!
-Well, actually, I still need the knight. There are parts I need to jump to so I have to have the knight with me still. Sorry knight I never meant to call you useless.
-I think I might actually be stuck. What awful gamed design.
-Turns out I wasnt stuck, just dumb. I restarted the entire game, which deletes the save file, and realized like halfway through I wasnt stuck at all. So I might be double dumb. Time to beat the whole game again, I guess.
-Luckily its short and I know what Im doing so I fly through it.
-Final level is a raven? Aw fuck I just finished Fall of the House of Usher so this seems like an ill omen.
-Pawn, I am the oracle. Thank you for questing this far. I quested twice because Im an idiot, in case that earns me extra bonus points.
-A terrible thing happened to our land. A single corrupt pawn disturbed the great upgrade. Wait, wasnt that me? I thought I was the corrupt pawn this whole time.
-Please help us. Can you upgrade yourself and save chess? I suppose if it is to save chess
-Pawn, thank you for saving us. Your journey is complete. I am still a bit confused if I was the corrupt pawn or what the hell is exactly going on here. But youre welcome.
-The end. Nah man I gotta get 100%.
-So I have three levels left but Im not sure I can actually get 100% on them. The movement requirement seems impossible.
-This is one of the times that appearing on the Playdate is a true curse because I cant find any information anywhere. I checked the Discord and I swear like 75% of the comments about this game are it is okay but Ill play it later. All these people are damn liars because the never came back. I swear this one level has a five move requirement and the lowest I can get is six. Ive tried like twenty different times.
-OHH wait. On that terraform spot, you can actually push left or right too and move other columns. I had no idea this was something you could do because the game NEVER TELLS YOU. Awful game design tbqh.
-You still have a limited selection of columns you can adjust but it is more than one. Im assuming this will help me in the other levels.
-Well, that still doesnt help, I dont think. It doesnt move any of the columns I need moving still.
-I try the transport to end of stage item but it doesnt work here. I think it only works on levels that have a pinwheel somewhere in it as thats where you get moved too. Again, not something the game explained.
-Jeebus I finally figured it out and it took me at least twenty minutes.
-You have to use the clone yourself item and then you can use that clone to essentially skip a movement as it is further ahead than you when it spawns. Theres a specific spot where if you use the item, you get it positioned in a good spot.
-This is a fun use of this mechanic, but is also something the game 1) never explains to you and 2) only uses in like two levels. Seems like a waste.
-Also, super annoying, you cant pick where the clone spawns and it isnt consistent. Sometimes it will be to the left, sometimes the right, sometimes above. It does seem to always spawn in a specific spot if you attempt it from one specific location, but there is no way to plan where it will spawn until you actually try it out.
-One of the missing 100% just needed that terraform trick. Check. One level left.
-This one also took a while to figure out, but I essentially knew what I had to do right away. It is the longest level in the game, I think, and there is a bit where you need to move a clone onto a spot so you can open a door and move on. The hard part is getting the clone to move the right way. It wasnt a big deal when I was just trying to get through, but you cannot move yourself and the clone independently. You move them both at the same time, even though you arent forced to move them in the same direction. So you can move your clone all the way to the left while moving yourself up one. Theoretically. The game gets super confused though because you trying to move both at the same time with the dpad and you cant actually move the clone how you want because of this. I essentially had to find a spot where I could spawn the clone where I wanted (because again you dont pick where they spawn) and get the movement right without the console getting too confused. It was a mess.
-Well, thats it. I do the final segment again but there isnt any additional dialogue.
-Ill have full thoughts soon, but man is this a game I wanted to like more than I did. Some flashes of fun ideas here but a lot of really bad design choices hold it back.

Time Played: I'm going to guess like 4-5 hours, but a lot of that was me being too dumb to recognize the drawing of a pawn wasn't a drawing of a keyhole.
High Score: One raven talked to.
Beaten? Twice almost.
Grade: I'm leaning a four, which might be too high. I really liked the concept but the execution is a mess.
Favorite Part So Far: That slow moment of horrific realization dawning on me that I just played this game twice for nothing. I'll think back to that next time I'm feeling too full of myself.

Game #12 Complete! Questy Chess

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: I accidentally called this game "Chesty Quest" to my wife and she was like "wait what are you playing?" Anyway, don't play this.

Final Thoughts: I wish this was better! I'm shocked I didn't hate this, honestly. I feel like this was the game I played on the Playdate that had the most design mistakes. I was into the set up here and something about going around trying to get 100% on every level worked for me. I had to quit and start over, and I still played it through again to beat it which says something about the strength of the concept here because there are plenty of games I would've just quit on. Some very smart person came up with an interesting concept and then let a group of people that hated them try to make it, and the end result is Questy Chess.

I don't want to list all the weird or bad ideas here, because it would take too long. But here's some: 1) you have to grind for the chess pieces by replaying levels and grabbing the same item over and over again 2) mechanics and items aren't explained 3) multiple items don't seem to be needed or help 4) enemy AI is borderline broken or potentially has a death wish 5) if the current piece you have cannot move, rather than letting you swap out to one that can the game decides to fake glitch out and kick you back to the overworld map 6) leveling gives you extra health which isn't a thing you'll ever really need 7) the "attack all enemies on the screen" is overpowered as hell and almost screen wipes the final level in the game 8) the queen pieces makes all other pieces irrelevant and isn't really needed 9) terraforming seems to have been thrown in just to incorporate the crank in some way 10) levels are too basic and there aren't too many here that feel cleverly designed.

I could keep going. I'm almost positive I could crank out another 10 examples, pretty easily. I'll stop though because I feel like this is getting too negative for a game where my overall feelings are "ehh...it's almost okayish kinda". I do like how its unique and has personality, which helps make up for some of the bad ideas it keeps vomiting at my feet.

Should You Play It? Oh jeez. Maybe? I didn't hate it. It's free with the season so you're out $0. It's a complete mess but a borderline okay one.

Final Score: Let's say 4. Below average but it can see average if it gets a chair and steps up on its tippy toes.

Games Completed: 12/118

Game Rankings:
12) Boogie Loops
11) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
10) Whitewater Wipeout
9) Lost Your Marbles
8) Demon Quest '85
7) Flipper Lifter
6) Questy Chess
5) Echoic Memory
4) Omaze
3) Casual Birder
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Here's some pics!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/4/6/AADHM9AAE--y.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/4/7/AADHM9AAE--z.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/5/4/8/AADHM9AAE--0.png

Currently Playing: Sasquatchers

What Is It? Advance Wars meets one of those awful shows on A&E where people with a middle school education take blurry pictures of shadows and scream a lot.

Gameplay Overview: You're a team of "science influencers" that has some sort of Instagram equivalent where you show videos and photos of cryptids to your followers. There are five areas here, each with their own specific map and a handful of different missions. Your team of three (plus a RV that serves as your base) need to go around the map and take pictures of whatever cryptids you run into. They can attack you (or flee depending on their mood) but your goal is to snap their photos. Everyone on your team has various skills. Some take higher quality photos, some can light up further away spaces that aren't illuminated on the map, some can call out to animals or placate them so they don't attack next turn. It's basically a strategy game where you don't fight anyway and just want to max out your scores on the photos.

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/1/8/AADHM9AAE_K2.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/1/9/AADHM9AAE_K3.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/2/0/AADHM9AAE_K4.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/3/2/1/AADHM9AAE_K5.png

Thoughts:
-Hm. Lets go with Sasquatchers next. I pick it based on it having the most interesting name of the games remaining.
-Uh so first thing I do is pick a memorable title. Does this do anything? I dunno!
-I pick an intro part and then a cryptid part. So like night of the attack of the and then Bigfoot! duende! etc.
-What the hell is a duende? What the hell is like half of these cryptids? Im way behind on my cryptid knowledge is what Im immediately finding out.
-I go with I married a Gorgon! because that sounds like a Maury Povich episode.
-Ok now I pick a location. Theres five but three of them cost too much to start of at. I just pick the first one because Im assuming its the easiest.
-Ok so action takes place on a little grid. This is the tutorial mission so the three characters introduce themselves and tell their audience Im the overseer. Their last one died after the encounter with the jersey devil. I hope you guys provide good insurance
-These three are scientist influencers who hunt cryptids, so 100% not scientists, but ok.
-Main dude is Zak Hunter II but people call him Deuce. I will not be calling him that.
-Hes the host and can take quick selfies with his phone which may be useful, Im not sure yet.
-Next is Diane Canon. A highly respected wildlife photographer whos made some questionable career choices. Yeah I got that based on your job right now.
-Tank Rocksmash is the wrangler, and he can call for cryptids, lure them to him so they stop chasing someone else, and soothe them. He seems like the one who is actually useful. His beard also rocks.
-Finally is the action van. If the sasquatchers stand close to it, itll recover health and stuff.
-Holy shit this game has a full on tutorial explaining how to play it. Thats the first of the Playdate games Ive played, really.
-Wow. Interesting. So it is a strategy game where instead of fighting people, you take pictures of cryptids. Think Advance Wars if it was a war on unphotographed monsters.
-The tutorial is super simple. Go to a campsite, and take a picture of a cryptid. Both Diane and Zak can do it. Zak does a selfie so his big stupid head is in the picture and Diane gets a better picture but if you move the same turn you photgraph its all blurry.
-You earn money for views of your cryptid, and you get more view by getting more likes. You earn likes by getting photos of a sasquatcher in the pictures and you get views by getting good pictures of the cryptid. You can use the crank to sort of rotate through the panoramic view of the photograph and decide what to center on.
-Ok. So five total areas with one of those just being a tutorial. Each area has multiple missions, which is interesting. Like in the next one theres one for getting a picture of every cryptid in the area and another for getting 500 total views of the sasquatch. Im not sure if you can do them in the same attempt or not, but Ill find out shortly.
-Theres also a HQ area where you can check your team and achievements so far. Theres two more people I can hire when I have enough money but they look like dorks.
-There was a second sasquatch in the tutorial and Im tempted to go back and snap his picture even though Im not sure it would be useful.
-I do. #PhotographAllSasquatches
-The first non-tutorial level gives you four missions to choose from and I got with the get 500 views from only sasquatches because it has the lowest reward and Im assuming it is the easiest.
-This is a bit strange for a game like this. You dont hurt the enemies in any way and after you photograph them, they stay around to keep attacking you. I complete it pretty easily because you just need to photograph the sasquatches, but Im curious how much harder this is going to be in later levels where I have like five guys chasing me and no way to actually stop them.
-Second mission is getting views off of the skunk ape, and the sasquatches dont count. This one is a bit harder because I think there are five sasquatches or so and only 3 skunk apes. Plus the skunk apes have an attack that stuns anyone close to them, so you have to skip a turn.
-Also, I am not sure why but these guys arent attacking me this time. Theyre kinda just running away. I mustve provoked them somehow last time, but no clue how. I might need to read through the abilities in closer detail because everyone has two or three and maybe one of them makes cryptids mad?
-One important one I missed Tank has a move that stuns cryptids around him. Good when theyre close and bunched and you want to keep them that way.
-You get a -25% score (views and likes combined, I think) for stunned animals but its sort of worth it if you can get a bunch together and not have to worry about them messing with you next turn.
-Trees are a pain because if one of these guys is in a tree they can get obscured behind one and mess with your photo. Stupid trees always ruining everything.
-Second mission beat. Nothing too hard yet, but I have enough money now to either unlock the third area or buy a new crew member. Time to shop for people, I think!

Time Played: 30 minutes. Ish? It's hard to say for sure because I keep writing up thoughts and slowing myself down.
High Score: Highest score for a photograph is 284 so far. The next mission needs me to top 300 so I'll have to figure something out.
Beaten? Nope.
Grade: It is pretty early, but I could see this in the 5 to 7 range for sure. Kinda depends what the game grows into.
Favorite Part So Far: The six random cryptids I had never heard about that I learned through the naming mechanic at the start. How else would I have learned about Xing Xing, the world's seventh most interesting ape based cryptid?

Still Playing: Sasquatchers

Thoughts:
-I buy a video guy but dont use him right away in the next level because Im not sure how his video mechanics work yet. You can only bring three hunters to each level and I'm afraid of wasting a spot. You cant remove the main guy and I think Tanks skills are too useful to leave at home, so Id need to drop the photographer for the videographer and I dont want to do that just yet.
-The third mission here is to get a single photo worth 300 and I feel like I can do that if I get multiple cryptids in a shot with a host.
-That turns out to be a pain with all the trees here, so I try two hosts with a cryptid. It works aw yeah 350 points.
-So I try out video guy in the get a picture or video of every cryptid mission and hes interesting to use. The video thing basically lets you go around and take pictures over multiple turns, which is a super helpful way to boost your score a ton. Like I wasnt even sure of the mechanic and I scored 600 points. That parts pretty great. But you need to take a turn to send off the footage and it isnt clear which ones you photographed and which ones you havent until you do that so it can get a little confusing. I might stick to the photographer woman for most missions because shes quicker at getting pictures and scoring points.
-I did notice one minor annoyance now. If youve taken a photo of a cryptid and there are multiple cryptids around you of the same type, it doesnt show when youre actually taking pictures who youve photographed and who you havent. So you might photograph the same one twice mistakenly when youre trying to get a new one. Not that that happened to me, of course
-Beat that one. Not too bad, although I was getting beat up on a little bit towards the end. Using Tank to lure people to him doesnt seem to work, or at least not in the way I thought it did. Ive used that skill and still gotten the weaker photographer people attacked.
-Thats the last of the second stage missions, so on to number three. This one has chupacabras who are significantly cooler than the skunk apes on the second level that kept farting at me.
-Chupacabras can apparently attack twice in one turn, or at least thats what their description at HQ tells me.
-WOW that videographer gets you crazy points. It helps I think I figured out how to use him. You can start recording, then walk that same turn and it will also record anything you capture when you walk. -I do that over two turns, upload, and I wind up with 900 views from that video alone. I only needed 400 for the mission so Im killing it.
-I have no clue when Im going to use the fifth guy in the crew. Boom mic guy. It says he can pick up nearby cryptids and improve video quality, but honestly I dont think I need those things. My videos get tons of views and the cryptids tend to just run over to me anyway.
-THIRD AREA CLEAR. No creature is safe from my photography skills.
-I feel like Ive said this several times now, but this is another game that has a really solid core idea but then they dont quite figure out how to really make it work. Like, its not bad. Im enjoying myself and I like the strategy game where your goal isnt just to fight everyone. But these levels are starting to feel pretty similar and it doesnt help that I think theyre randomly generated. Im not really using different strategies each mission Im pretty much doing the same thing over and over. The cryptids come to me even when Im not calling them I feel like, so I just wander out there and eventually they come running and I can snap photos. It isnt really growing in the way I would like.
-These swamp monsters are JERKS. I didnt even see them for the first mission because I just need to take pictures of Skunk Apes and they dont go far from the water.
-They have a single attack which doesnt do damage but completely drains your battery. Battery is how you do most of your actions, so if they use it you just cant take a picture at all. Jerkfaces.
-I find out accidentally that using the tent to recover not only completely refills your battery and health, but recovers stun as well. Really good to know.
-Alright, finished the first two missions of level 4, so I have two more here and then the final stage left. Pretty close to being finished, I think.
-I also buy the last stage for 1k and Ive already purchased all the hunter people, so I have nothing left to buy. New strategy is going to be just camping at a camp site, letting cryptids come to me, and continuously spending the paltry $50 to completely refill health and battery. OP campsite, tbqh.

Time Played: 1.5 to 2 hours
High Score: Selfie: 268 view. Photo: 642 views. Video: 973 views. Video OP plz nerf.
Beaten? By tonight I think.
Grade: Trending to a high 5/low 6.
Favorite Part So Far: That well planned video session that nabbed me almost 1k views was pretty cool. I didn't need to be that precise because the requirement was like 400 but it was still impressive to pull that chain off.

Still Playing: Sasquatchers (Final Part)

Thoughts:
-Out of curiosity, I just confirmed that level layouts are random. Entered the same area under the same mission multiple times and layout of trees/rocks/cryptids all changed.
-Final area isnt too bad for the first two missions, then I get to the one with a 500 like goal for one photo and THE MOTHMAN IS THE BIGGEST JERK IN THE HISTORY OF CRYPTID JERKS
-My foolproof strategy of using camera + boom mic operator fails over and over because the mothman has this huge area of effect attack that stuns everyone and breaks their equipment. I can never get a multi-turn move off to effectively photograph him.
-I fire boom mic guy because hes useless in this level. Bring back Tank who has a move that also stuns, so Im hoping if I can stun the mothman for a turn I can at least upload the video.
-Yep that works. I manage to capture 4 cryptids at once, both other characters and get a final score of 1,889. WOOOOOO. Honestly barring some sort of miracle, that might be the highest video I get, period.
-Oh oops Im an idiot and selected the wrong mission. This was the photograph all six mission not the high score on one photo mission. So I spent all this time making it perfect and it meant nothing.
-I feel like I need to reiterate that I am not a smart person.
-I also cant find this last stupid cryptid. Ive wandered the whole map and Im at 5/6. See, my plan for this one was to bring drone guy because that wouldve made this so much easier.
-Ok, finally found it. It was a swamp creature that wouldnt leave the swamp my first time past it. SWAMP KIDS AFRAID TO LEAVE HIS SWAMP!
-Im curious, so for high score I leave video operator at home and bring the better photographer. I position both hosts next to a swamp creature and get a score of 600+ with almost no time for set up. Ugh.
-Well, Im still impressed with my 1.9k video score. The game doesnt have anything near that level of coordination and challenge needed, but whatever.
-And thats it! I am once again confused if I beat the game or not as there is no credits. I check the badge section and the last one after unlocking all the others becomes a Certificate of Donness so I guess I am done.
-What the hell is with Playdate games and not having an ending scene?

Time Played: 2.5 to 3 hours
High Score: Selfie: 299 views. Photo: 813 views. Video: 1,889 views. Video super OP plz nerf.
Beaten? Yep, add it to the list
Grade: I think I'm going to end with a six but I want to think about it a bit
Favorite Part So Far: That 1.9k video chain took a lot of coordination to pull off and it was pretty cool when I finally got it to work. The score goal was 500 points so it was totally unnecessary and I'm just flexing to flex at this point.

Game #13 Complete! Sasquatchers

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: You'll have a Jersey Devil of a time!

Final Thoughts: I'm just going to start copy and pasting this section. "Oh wow what an interesting concept but I feel like they didn't get the full potential out of it." IT KEEPS HAPPENING. I feel like I'm in a variation of Groundhog Day where I keep waking up to I Got You Babe and Playdate games that are a little underwhelming. I'm like a week away from driving my car off a cliff, laughing maniacally and clutching my Playdate to my chest.

This one is close though. I really like the idea of strategy game where your goal isn't going over and punching other guys in the face. It's a good premise, and the set up here is fun. Running around a little map and snapping shots of bigfoots (bigfeet?) is more fun than it sounds, and score chasing through photographs works surprisingly well. I thought the concept might wear a little thin by the end, but it was one of those games I powered through pretty quickly just because I was enjoying myself. Strategy games are one of my preferred genres, but there are so many that take 100 hours and a PhD in the game's mechanics to get through. A simple, straightforward strategy game like this is nice and I was on board from the start.

But it's too simple. The enemy AI isn't great and most levels played out the same way. I wander into the fog looking for a campsite, all the cryptids walk in my direction and I take a photo or two and move on. I managed to plan things out a couple of turns in advance and sent off a video worth 1.9k points. 1.9k points! That's great. The game just wanted one that's 500 though. Why? All you need for that is to take a photo of a cryptid with two hunters in frame and then you're done. I feel like this game doesn't quite understand its mechanics, and its like no one playtested this. Some of the skills just aren't needed at all and some of the ones that are here feel like they could've been fun to play with if the game actually required to do something interesting with them. That drone skill is cool but largely pointless because, again, most cryptids just all run towards you anyway. Using either of the cryptid locating skills could be fun, but why use them when they'll just make their way to you in a turn or two anyway?

And then there's stuff the game doesn't have. I am an idiot but I was thinking of things that could've been fun throughout my entire playthrough. What about traps to keep some cryptids stationary? Or something you could use to lure characters to a specific spot? There's a lot of stuff the game could have, but doesn't, and it's a really good idea that kind of sputters because they don't know exactly what to do with it. I mean, it's still solid. It's one of the better games I've played on the Playdate. It is a fun idea and everything works, which is a good 1-2 punch. It just could've been better, and it is a bit disappointing overall.

Should You Play It? Yeah, definitely. It's fun and short and even if it doesn't quite nail the landing, it is an impressive attempt.

Final Score: 6. Firmly "pretty good but could be better" territory for me.

Games Completed: 13/118

Game Rankings:
13) Boogie Loops
12) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
11) Whitewater Wipeout
10) Lost Your Marbles
9) Demon Quest '85
8) Flipper Lifter
7) Questy Chess
6) Echoic Memory
5) Omaze
4) Sasquatchers
3) Casual Birder
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Currently Playing: Snak

What Is It? SNAK

Gameplay Overview: You know Snake, that game you used to play on your TI83 and first flip phone? This is that but MORE INTENSE. Here, you are trying to eat apples, but the apples are trying to eat you too. They appear on the sides of the screen and either move left to right or up and down. You can eat them, but if they reach you they'll climb on your back and race towards your head. You can also jump though, and you can either jump over yourself to get an apple or you can climb on your own back and mow them down that way. You lose if the apple reaches your head or if you crash into yourself or the walls.

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/cb813dbb.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/c/c83ffdfa.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/bd8cb2ec.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/5/5abf9ffe.png

Thoughts:
-Snak
-I picked this game next 100% because of the name. It is the other Week 10, Season 1 release. This puts me up at 13 of the 24 Season 1 releases at this point and one sad little catalogue game. I should check more of those out. Next time, maybe.
-There are five different "classes" here. Snak, Snaak, Snaaak, Snaaaak, and Snaaaaak. I imagine that last one is being yelled by Colonel Campbell
-Okay so this is just mostly Snake but a little bit more interesting.
-I have to be honest - point chasers like this have a short shelf life for me. This one might not rank very high regardless of how good it is.
-First score I post is 5. howpathetic.jpeg
-One good thing here is this has global leaderboards, and it updates each time you post a new score. Other arcade games on the Playdate that don't are going to be judged more harshly going forward because this proves it can be done.
-Jumping over your snake is kinda interesting. Makes things feel less hopeless when you get big and make a mistake.
-The apples don't move all that fast even when they're on your back. I mostly ignore them until they get close.
-Ok, I found a better strategy than my random one I had been doing. Do long horizontal lines, make a quick corner turn and hop on your back. You'll eat any apple close to you and then you can go back to those long horizontal lines.
-The slowdown in this game gets pretty bad when you get a lot of apples. My strategy works great until the game gets so slow the timing becomes harder because of the lag.
-I play this for a while then check out Snaaaaak just to see the difference.
-You move way faster in this mode, so I think each extra a cranks the movement speed up slightly.
-Ok, played for half an hour and I'll call it done for now. I'm going to check out all the modes and do some score chasing, but I already have a good idea of what this is.

Time Played: 30 minutes through Snak and Snaaaaak
High Score: Snak class: 134 (good for 55 on the global leaderboard!); Snaaaaak: 70 (good for 36 on the global leaderboard!)
Beaten? Kinda, I guess. It isn't the kind of game you beat but I completed a run already
Grade: I'm going to guess another 5. Totally average and functional, but nothing exciting for me.
Favorite Part So Far: Snak

Sounds reasonably cool and playable (a fair twist on an established game) so it probably ranks pretty high on the list by default.

I don't know for sure yet, but I feel like it is guaranteed to rank above Flipper Lifter at the very worst for the sole fact that this is a point chasing game that actually gives you a leaderboard. Such a silly thing for other games to miss but other Season 1 games have. If you want me to chase points, give me points to chase.

Still Playing: Snak

Thoughts:
-Well, time to chase some high scores!
-My goal is to get on the leaderboard for one of these modes. Let's see how long that takes.
-Leaderboards are also posted on the game page on the Playdate website, for the curious: https://play.date/games/snak/
-First thought: Okay so it looks like Snaaaaak will be the easiest. Tenth place is 155 which is nothing. I'm already at 70 after barely trying!
-Second though: Who the fuck is 2257259091194867 and why are they 100 POINTS BETTER than literally everyone on every high score board?
-2257259091194867 is a robot built to Snak and only Snak. We can only hope he doesn't gain sentience and view us as the apples he must consume.
-Seriously though what the hell 2257259091194867 save some Playdate high scores for the rest of us.
-It is not as easy as I thought it would be to get on the Snaaaaak leaderboards. The snake moves so damn fast in this mode and I'm having trouble getting 70 again. What sort of Snak zone was I in last night?
-I do eventually top it, getting to 100. Let me try one of the baby modes first and see if I can get on that high score board.
-Im curious exactly how big these score boards are and how many people are actually trying, so I check by repeatedly only boosting my score by one. I'll try Snaak as that one is pretty easy and I don't have a score posted yet. Snaak score of 4 gets me 1721st place.Snaak score of 5 is 1611. Snaak score of 6 is 1507. Snaak score of 8 is 1314. Snaak score of 9 is 1220. Snaak score of 10 is 1136. Snaak score 11 is 1064. Snaak score of 12 is 977. Snaak score of 13 is 902. Snaak score of 14 is 830. Snaak score of 15 is 743. Snaak score of 16 is 672. Snaak score of 17 is 615.
-Even 17 is barely what I'd be consider trying, so I would guess less than 500 people actually tried multiple times to get a score posted to this mode. Time to embarrass those 500 losers.
-I try and I get a score of uh 273. Good for 11th and one off the leaderboard. AH NUTS.
-Also the slowdown in this game gets craaaaazy when you get this far in. It really messes up with the performance and it kinda ruins the experience a bit.
-Ive pretty much figured out the way to win and now Im just replaying the same pattern over and over. Fun.
-Since the apples climb on you, once you get long enough it is better to just let them crawl along your back towards your head and then loop back on your own body to snatch them up. They only seem to go ever so slightly faster than me so Im mostly free to ignore them unless they climb on super close to my head.
-Uh so using my method I get to 4th place. thegoodgurmain. That's me on the leaderboard suckaaaaaaas
-I'd like to thank those of you who supported me and rub this in the face of those three of you that told me I'd never amount to anything in Snak (you know who you are).
-I also go back and get on the leaderboard for Snak default. Snak Classic? Whatever, I'm 10th now. I might try again to get up to at least 9th so my leaderboard spot isn't so perilous.
-I'm going to try to get on the leaderboard for the other three modes and then I'll call it done.
-But. Bad news. This game is worse than I thought it was. Worse than the default version of Snake, honestly.
-Couple of issues. First is the slowdown. It is horrendous. Like I'm half expecting smoke to come billowing out the side of my Playdate. If you heard of someone who died in a Playdate related fire, just know that was me and avenge my death at the hands of Snak.
-Slowdown is so bad it works to your benefit though. After you get to 100 or so, it gets soooo much easier it's crazy. Your movement is so damn slow that it is incredibly easy to make each and every turn you need to. There's no challenge and I swear that the only reason I had to do Snak twice to get on the leaderboard after I figured out the best strategy is because I yawned really big and crashed into the side of the wall mid-yawn. This games best defense is boring you into a stupor.
-Beyond that though, there is a fundamental flaw in the design that wasn't obvious to me at first. The hard part about Snake is those little dots appearing around seemingly randomly and having to chase them down and maneuver your snake around different patterns. I could be wrong as I wasn't a Snake expert, but each game felt different to me.
-Here, because the apples literally climb on you and go towards your head, every attempt is the same by the end. Once you get to say 40 or so, there is zero point going after apples. I would do a loop.A long line at the end, go down, then up and down until I got to the middle or so, then come back to the other end. The apples honestly aren't fast enough to get you unless they jump on really close to your head. It's hard to describe, but here's what I mean:
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/7addeac2.png
-That's actually sideways from the best strategy I found, but you can sort of see what I'm talking about. The limitation there are those little bits in the middle where you have to loop around and jump back on yourself, so it is actually a bit better if you turn that sideways as there are less squares you don't double up on, thus extending the maximum possible footage you get doubling up on yourself.
-It becomes this endless loop. Apples only spawn on the sides, and they cannot climb on you when you're doubled up, so you have this huge buffer built in where they cannot start chasing you, and they are no where near fast enough to catch up. So every attempt is forming that and going back and forth back and forth. Mind you, the game is so slow at this point that timing becomes really easy.
-Which, brings me back to one final little point: 2257259091194867 you cheating bastard
-Fuck you 2257259091194867 all my homies hate 2257259091194867
-Those second place scores I think are essentially "perfect" runs. You cannot triple up on yourself, and trying to jump over a double is a death. My best score is 361, but that was with leftover space on the loops. I think if you get lucky and double up perfectly on that extra space your last time going over yourself, you should be able to hit 371-373 which is when the entire screen is fully doubled up, nowhere else left to go period.
-So how the hell does 2257259091194867 get a score in the mid/upper 400s? It shouldn't be possible unless he's found out some trick or hack.
-TELL ME YOUR SECRETS 2257259091194867. I WANT TO KNOW.

Time Played: I haven't really been keeping count. At least 3 hours. A lot of that time is me slowly watching my lagging snake trudge around at speeds lower than most elderly mall walkers.
High Score: 361 on Snaak. 4th place bby. 353 on Snak because I tried to get cute at the end and double up on the "extra" space to get above 361 but I messed up. Shouldn't have gotten greedy. 95 on Snaaaaak but that'll get easier too once I lag it enough. 0 on the other two modes but I'll get there.
Beaten? Beat the game so bad it is borderline broken
Grade: We might have a 3 on our hands. Worse, broken Snake clone is not a good thing.
Favorite Part So Far: Finding out the true villain of the Playdate commuinty: 2257259091194867. I'll find you someday, you stone cold bastard.

Oh, this doesn't matter but that scoreboard you see in that last image is also strangely broken. It goes from 0-99, then back to 0 then it counts upwards and will go over 100. So that 214 is actually a 314 and the previous high score of a 173 was a 273. No clue why it does that but it's weird.

Game #14 Complete! Snak

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: Snak

Final Thoughts: Oof, what a bummer. This one started off so promising. First off, and this is going to sound like damning with faint praise, but they have a leaderboard system! A good one that updates automatically! Go and check them out here: https://play.date/games/snak/. They also show top five in the game and what your rank is, but you get a top ten on the website. I'm thegoodgurmain, so I'm ranked on all the leaderboards so I am one of the world's foremost Snak experts. What an embarrassing thing to be an expert of.

Score chasing, quick reflex type of arcade gameplay seems like a good idea but this one doesn't work. First, the core concept is flawed. The apples move on your back and cannot jump on if you've doubled up on yourself, so the best strategy becomes to start winding yourself up and down to create a loop you can jump back on top of when needed. Since you don't need to chase down the apples, you can basically ignore them and just wait until you get to a point you need to loop back on yourself. It makes the game a lot more boring than you initially think because that whole frantic, jumping over yourself to avoid apples and nab ones running away from you only lasts the first 30 seconds or so of the run. The rest is just repeating the pattern you built over and over until you possibly fall asleep which sounds like a joke but was something that almost happened to me twice mid run.

The other factor that torpedos this game is the slowdown, which is inexcusable. It is really, really bad after 150 or so. So bad in fact that the late game is significantly easier than the early game. On that second most difficult setting (Snaaaak), I could get to 150 points roughly once out of every 3 to 4 times. But if I got to 150, I was guaranteed to get to 350 or so. There is only one way you can lose, and that is if an apple randomly spawns at that little loop section you can't double up on right after you make it. Otherwise, as long as you don't fall asleep, you're going to fill the whole screen. The slowdown is so bad and you're moving so slow and you're just following a pattern that it becomes utterly mindless, and not fun.

I like the idea of taking a classic game and remixing it to make your own thing. Fun ideology. This is just a horrendous example of that, and all it did was make me wish I was playing Snake.

Should You Play It? On the one hand, it's free with the season. On the other hand, there really isn't any reason to. It doesn't show off the crank, it isn't a lot of fun, it is borderline broken...just a mess of a game, really. I got some mild entertainment climbing the leaderboards but there are so many better options out there that you can probably skip this.

Final Score: 3. Just straight up bad. Ever so slightly better than Whitewater Wipeout for me just because that was a score chaser that is even less interesting, even if the use of the crank was good. They're almost tied, but slight nod to Snak.

Games Completed: 14/118

Game Rankings:
14) Boogie Loops
13) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
12) Whitewater Wipeout
11) Snak
10) Lost Your Marbles
9) Demon Quest '85
8) Flipper Lifter
7) Questy Chess
6) Echoic Memory
5) Omaze
4) Sasquatchers
3) Casual Birder
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Currently Playing: DYG

What Is It? You dig and then you dig and then you dig and then you die and you look at your wallet and go "oh no, my three dollars!"

Gameplay Overview: It is a digging simulator. There is an indicator along the bottom that you follow to dig. The important bit is the downward swing to actually "dig" and that part is timed. If you move along with the indicator, you dig! If you miss, you clank and no digging occurs. The movement appears random, sometimes super fast and sometimes very slow. You want to dig as deep as you can before time runs out (indicated by a setting sun behind you).

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/71922e5e.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/0/0c23736d.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/b4fe9d2a.png

Thoughts:
-DYG is the second non Season 1 game I've played now. I was just looking around the catalogue and this one stuck out to me for some reason. It is a game I downloaded solely for the name. One of these days Ill look into games beyond the titles but today is not that day.
-Uh. Did it start?
-Im just a guy with a shovel and there is no intro or anything. So Im not quite sure what to do.
-What the fuck? The game ended while I was typing this.
-Oh. DYG is DIG YOUR GRAVE. You apparently have like ten seconds to dig as deep as you can I guess? Im not positive. I was typing and not touching anything and then the sun set and I died and those words popped up on the screen. It goes right back to another attempt though. I have no idea what my goals are or how to play. Woo hoo?
-It took a little bit of messing around with, but I think I figured it out. This is like the fourth Playdate game Ive played that doesnt tell you how to play it. I have no idea why they think that is fun. "Hey our game is short as hell - maybe if we don't tell them what the hell to do it will extend play time by a whole five minutes?" is probably the prevailing thought.
-So, theres this indicator at the bottom of the screen. You move the crank around as indicated and its supposed to mimic moving your shovel and tossing dirt out. If you dont hit the timing right, it makes this clank noise and you dont go any further. Get the timing right and you dig.
-Thats, uh, it. Thats all the things in this game I think.
-So far my top score is six inches. The all time top score is 2425 by Quinndini. Why Quinndini? Who hurt you?
-Ok, so if you get several digs right in a row, you get a multiplier and you start digging more at once. -So it starts with 1 then 2 inches then 3 inches, increasingly linearly like that every couple of successful digs. Hulk over here digging like ten feet at a time eventually.
-I have no clue if missing makes the time go faster or if there is a global timer that you just have to deal with. The game doesnt tell you because it hates you.
-Top score so far is 70 inches. Tenth place is 387 inches. I have no clue if I have the patience or desire to actually try for that though.
-Ill give this another shot in a bit but I dont know how much longer I want to keep playing it. Im not interested, really. Shouldve just set my three dollars on fire.
-OH. One other thing. Playdate games need to figure out how to do a leaderboard system because so far on Snak has any clue what its doing. Snak showed you what place you were in. Like, you couldnt view the full leaderboard but it would be like hey that score is 26th place so you actually felt like you were climbing the leaderboard. I have no clue how my score of 70 is. What place is that? Why do you only show the top two scores at the end, and not even show what my score was so I have to look and play attention when I know its almost over to actually figure out how deep I am? There is zero content to this game, why couldnt you have at least included a personal high score?
-Spoilers: this one isnt going to rank very high.

Time Played: 15 minutes. I already feel like I've exhausted everything there is to do with this game.
High Score: A whole 70 inches. So close to a true six feet under.
Beaten? Um. Sure. I saw the ending, which is them showing you the top two high scores you will never achieve.
Grade: 2 or a 3. Have I mentioned I'm not a huge fan of score chasers? That's even more true when they're 1) not fun and 2) as basic as this one.
Favorite Part So Far: Seeing DYG spell out "dig your grave". I imagine the developer thought out this game for that specific bit alone and then stopped thinking entirely after that.

Game #15 Complete! DYG

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: This game really captures the endless repetition that comes with digging a grave. Most realistic grave digging simulator to date.

Final Thoughts: I had a work trip I had to go on so I spent roughly 2 straight hours playing this at night and slowly spiraling into madness. By the end, I think I liked it more than when I started, but that could also just be the Stockholm Syndrome talking.

I've played enough crank vs non-crank games on the Playdate now that I feel like I can definitively say - using the crank is just kind of fun. Games that don't use the crank on this do so at their peril because I've played straight up bad games where they let me use the crank and my thought always is "well at least the crank part was kinda fun". That's the case here too. I don't think this is a good game but there was something about using the crank for that precision timing that was pretty enjoyable. Like I kept going "ah I can do better" and got stuck in this cycle of playing over and over again trying to top my score.

I got on the leaderboard, which was sort of my goal to consider this one "complete". https://play.date/games/dyg/ Sixth place aw yeah. In your face onedanband. All my homies hate onedanband. But damn, lost to ThrillhouseVH both in grave digging prowess and username awesomeness level.

I got my fill of DYG though. Don't think I'll ever come back. It almost feels more like a mechanic than a full game. You know that part where you have to start the generators in Dead By Daylight? This game is basically just that without the game part around it. You just use the crank to match the movement on the indicator over and over again, and you really need to chain them together. So doing one in a row means nothing to your score, and it isn't until you start digging out 10/12 inches at a time that you're really going to make a run for the leaderboard. That person at the top of the leaderboards probably never missed a single swing.

It is definitely repetitive as hell, too. Like you're always doing the same movement. From top right to bottom, then from bottom to top left. That second bit is only for throwing out the dirt though so you don't need to time it like the first half, but it is that same movement over and over and over. It's borderline maddening after a while. I'm not sure why I played it as long as I did. If someone asked me what I was doing, I would've said, "digging a grave" and if they asked why I would've said "because ThrillhouseVH won't stop taunting me from his deeper grave."

Oh, and the interface to this game is awful. You don't actually see how deep your run is after you finish it unless you were watching the bottom of the screen to see the number you were at. That straight up disappears once you lose and then you don't see any number after that so if you weren't looking you just have to guess. The game doesn't show you your all time high score for reasons I can't begin to guess at. And then the in game leaderboard only shows you the top two depths of all time by showing you how tall the gravestone is without any numbers attached to it. At the end of every run too (although you can skip it). Why? Why is it like this? Why do I have to go to the website to see the top ten overall depths with actual numbers attached? Why can't the leaderboard be in game, with numbers?

Also, if you aren't in the top ten you don't actually see where you're placing. I know Playdate has the ability to do that because I was tracking my progress in Snak. Any game with a bad leaderboard is going to get yelled at going forward because I know it isn't a hardware issue now. You can do leaderboards on the Playdate, and if you are a score chasing game you have to. That's the rules. No leaderboards, no score chasing.

Should You Play It? I'd say no, probably. Like...ok, the crank is fun enough but there are other games that do that and do a better job. Do you really want to be the best grave digger in the world? That's a borderline cry for help, honestly.

Final Score: 3, again. Slightly better than Whitewater Wipeout because I like the precision cranking here a bit more. Slightly better than Snak on account of it not feeling broken when you start scoring high enough. Just below Lost Your Marbles as that was at least better than endless non-stop grave digging.

Games Completed: 15/118

Game Rankings:
15) Boogie Loops
14) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
13) Whitewater Wipeout
12) Snak
11) DYG
10) Lost Your Marbles
9) Demon Quest '85
8) Flipper Lifter
7) Questy Chess
6) Echoic Memory
5) Omaze
4) Sasquatchers
3) Casual Birder
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Currently Playing: Grand Tour Legends

What Is It? A bicycle racing game where you aren't really racing.

Gameplay Overview: So, you're racing on bikes. But I use the word "racing" very loosely. All you're doing is controlling your speed, which you do via the crank. You have a stamina bar and you want to pedal while keeping your stamina positive. The faster you pedal, the faster you go but also the faster your stamina drains. If it empties all the way you "BONK" (with the BONK itself appearing in big capital letters) and you can't pedal again until your stamina completely refills. You want to pedal faster up hills and then stop pedaling entirely down hills because your stamina will refill and your momentum will carry you down those hills anyway. Also, probably worth noting there isn't actually characters you're racing against here. To get the game to work, the developer has you in control of a video file. All the opposing racers always finish the race at the same exact time regardless of what you do, and there is no flexibility in that.

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/f9525f63.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/9/9e340299.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/4410edbc.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/ee8ea1f3.png

Thoughts:
-How do you even get a racing game on the console? Guess I'll find out!
-Ah, so you don't steer here at all. You just control pedaling speed. That's how you get a racing game on the console!
-I have no idea how to play the game and it doesn't tell me because it's shy. Or because Playdate developers think its cute to give you no instructions and let you figure things out on your own. It isn't cute.
-Ok so first attempt I get fifth place. I mostly figured it out I think. I figured out I go automatically on the downhill portions so if I stop pedaling there I get my stamina back. Nothing too crazy.
-Second attempt I beat the first race and get some sort of bonus "trophy" for never bonking. Good job me.
-Oh a bonk is when you lose all your stamina. Obviously.
-Oh no I beat the game.
-That isn't a joke, either. There are three tracks here and I got first in all three. I think it took me roughly fifteen minutes.
-I also figured out what one of the other trophies is. It is for never getting passed by someone you already passed. No idea what the third trophy is but I didn't get it on any of the stages.
-Also, I boost sometimes? I have no idea how. It just happens randomly at the bottom of hills sometimes.
-Boy, do I wish this game came with "instructions" or "directions" or "a general sense of what the hell to do".
-I go and check the Discord, and this is bonkers. You can scroll through the entire discussion, and the early portions are a descent into madness with theories of how the boost works. No one can figure it out, but there are like five people here that are super competitive and keep trading times back and forth.
-Eventually one of them summons the developer. They explain it thusly: you first have to stop cranking on a downhill portion as youll naturally be carrying momentum at this point. Then, the boost window opens the frame [you] start deceleratingthe exact frame when you start to decelerate is not fixed on the trackit depends on the speed you were going when [you] stopped cranking.
-It is pretty cool the developer showed up.
-Also: WHAT THE FUCK?
-How was I possibly supposed to figure that out on my own. Do you know how far down "guess your speed when you stop pedaling and then the frame when you stop accelerating from your downhill momentum and match the speed of when you stopped pedaling" was on my Bingo card? What kind of madness was this? And then to not explain it in game? What kind of shenanagins is this?
-The best players in the world at this game, who were competitively trading times and actively trying to figure this out, none of them had that as their guess.
-Also, those same players? Afterwards they were like "uh I think I sort of get it but I can't still pull it off consistently." What an awful, terrible mechanic. To 1) not tell you its in the game 2) not explain how to get it and 3) make it so hard to activate that even after you explain it the very best players don't know how to do it right all the time. That's bottom of the barrel game design. It isn't fun to have to guess at how to play the game.
-I will say, boosting doesn't matter for beating it. I got 1st on all three (!) tracks without boosting at all, I don't think. But you definitely need it to get that final achievement on each track.
-I do get it on the first track pretty easily but even on my best run I can't get it on the second track. The guy finishes like maybe a third of a second in front of me so I'm super close.
-I'm nowhere near them on the third track though. The third track has some really poorly defined hills so it's hard to tell when to boost, at all.
-Also I'm terrible at boosting. I pull it off like once every five attempts. It seems like it is borderline frame perfect.
-The longer I play this, the more frustrating it gets. There are only three tracks and you just play them over and over and over. You know what my favorite racing game is? I'll give you a hint: it has more than three tracks. Oh, oops, I only eliminated one game from contention, and it was this one.
-This is a stupid complaint, but there are three racers you can pick from. The have speed and stamina ranked on a scale of 1-5. The first guy has 4 stamina 2 speed, the second guy has 3 stamina 3 speed, and the third girl has 2 stamina 4 speed. So...why the hell is this on a five point scale? No one has a one or a five in anything? What's the point? It's like that scene in This Is Spinal Tap where the one guy confusedly points at his amp like "uh this goes to 11 though" even though its totally meaningless.
-I still can't get those final two hammer achievements. I don't know if I want to. I'm not enjoying myself and I can't keep playing these same two tracks over and over.
-OH. Also. I have no idea how Playdate developers can't figure out how to do a good leaderboard. Snak was the only one I've played so far that kinda got it. I want to know what my rank is. I want to see my rank climb. I shave my best time from 3:01:45 to 3:00:00 on the second track and I have no idea how many people I jump. You only see the top five times and your score isn't ranked at all unless you're there. I know you could, because Snak did it and that game was coming close to setting the Playdate on fire with its slowdown so if those developers could figure it, everyone should be able to.

Time Played: Probably 2 hours or so. Lots of repeats of those second and third courses.
High Score: Track 1: 2:24:19; Track 2: 3:00:00 (yeah, exactly 3 minutes which is more impressive than hammering, I think); Track 3: Can't be bothered to look it up but it isn't that great. Good enough for 1st place though.
Beaten? First place in all tracks, but only 1/3 did I get all achievements. I'm counting that as beaten though as I don't hate myself enough to perfect the other two tracks.
Grade: 3. Racing game that barely counts as racing, that doesn't explain to you how to play it, and that has one real mechanic that seems to barely work. It's lucky I found cranking mildly enjoyable, again, or this would be even lower.
Favorite Part So Far: Getting that hammer on the first course felt pretty cool. Now if only the second and third courses weren't borderline impossible.

Game #16 Complete! Grand Tour Legends

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: Absolutely one of the two best racing games on the Playdate at the time of this quote.

Final Thoughts: Well, I'm calling it. I managed to get the hammer on the second course but I'm like three seconds off the time to do it on the final track and I have no idea what to do to improve my time since 1) this game hates you and doesn't tell you shit and 2) no one plays this game except like six people on the Discord. That's sort of the problem with the Playdate and the community is so small that outside of the biggest games there aren't a lot of information on them.

I still haven't figured out how to boost. I'm convinced the developer lied to us and it is truly RNG because that's the only thing that makes sense at this point. Cool of them to include one mechanic beyond the standard cranking and to not explain it at all and make it super finicky to pull off.

That's not even my main issue though. There's three tracks here and none of them are that interesting. I don't know exactly how many tracks I need out of a racing game, but I know that number is above three. It is a super simple racing game if that's all you want, but you should be able to get first place on every track within ten minutes. And then another year to get that final trophy on the final track. I am in general not a huge racing game fan, so maybe I'm all wrong here. But I think you need more than three tracks and probably the ability to steer and knowing "how to play the game". That's just me though.

Should You Play It? Nah. It takes ten minutes to finish but you can find better things to do with your ten minutes.

Final Score: Yet another 3. But like a *high* three. And three that can get up on its tippy toes and see a four. I kinda like cranking and this is at least better than the dregs of the Playdate console. Like, it's pretty much a game and I didn't hate it and it isn't as annoying as Lost Your Marbles, for example. I'd give the edge of "way to short a game" to Demon Quest '85 though as that had a lot more charm than this.

Games Completed: 16/118

Game Rankings:
16) Boogie Loops
15) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
14) Whitewater Wipeout
13) Snak
12) DYG
11) Lost Your Marbles
10) Grand Tour Legends
9) Demon Quest '85
8) Flipper Lifter
7) Questy Chess
6) Echoic Memory
5) Omaze
4) Sasquatchers
3) Casual Birder
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Each writeup affirms my non-purchase evermore

Place posted...

Each writeup affirms my non-purchase evermore

Eh, it was an investment. The playdate is such a weird / cool concept in a world where games are consistently becoming more and more uniform; i dont mind throwing money at it and seeing where it goes

Also keita takahashi is worth every penny

Yeah, I mean it is 200 dollars but you get 24 games packaged with it, some of which I quite liked, and the whole crank is so novel that even the bad games are kind of interesting.

Except Boogie Loops.

Currently Playing: Hidey Spot

What Is It? An adventure game where you look for Christmas presents and then it gets weird.

Gameplay Overview: This is a pretty standard adventure game. You explore your house looking for Christmas presents and you inspect items by walking into them. On the back half of the game, there is some rudimentary puzzle solving. You can only carry one item at a time though, and you basically just need to show the right item to the right person. Your inventory can only be opened up at a mirror for some reason, so if you have the wrong item you have to go back to the mirror to swap out.

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/b/b2a79ed3.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/7676511d.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/24a79248.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/f754cb35.png

Thoughts:
-Hidey Spot is another catalogue game and I picked it because its about Christmas.
-I probably shouldve saved this for another month, huh? Oops.
-From the store page, you are a kid looking for hidden presents around the house. Shockingly, I played a game just like that for another forgotten handheld (PS Vita) called A Quiet Christmas! That game was really bad and lasted like ten minutes so heres hoping we can get a cool 15 out of this one.
-THE BIG DAY IS HERE! Everyone is sleeping, so I can sneak out and find the Christmas gifts theyve hidden around the house Wait, isnt the big day Christmas? Or no? If it is this kid should just wait like two hours as everyone should be up soon.
-Movement is weird. You move one block at a time in a very staggered way
-Its 1:06. I still have plenty of time before anyone wakes up. I am no worried this game is on a timer and they didnt tell me. Ill have to check this clock a couple more times to see if it keeps moving.
-Mom and dad set out the presents on Christmas Eve, so tonight is my last chance to find them before they go under the tree! Poor Santa getting no credit here.
-Its 1:07 AM. I still have plenty of time before anyone wakes up. Aw fuck I am on a timer.
-You inspect stuff by walking into it. I tear apart my bookshelf looking for presents. If mom and dad hid presents in my room behind my stuff, they are dumb people.
-I find my Christmas list on the floor and Im asking Santa for a working hoverboard. Spellings all over the place. Also, you know youre supposed to send the list, right kid? Cant just leave it on the floor and hope for the best.
-I pick up my notebook and it says I have 0/6 gifts. Good of mom and dad to have told me how many things Id need to find.
-First room I go into is mom and dads room. Jackpot.
-Dad is snoring loudly. I hope there is a cure dads sleep apnea puzzle.
-First present found! It was in the closet behind clothes. Itssocks. Hooray?
-Second present found! It is behind the shower curtain. Wait, what? Who hides presents in the shower? Do mom and dad not bathe?
-Thats all in this room, I think. Although if I go to the mirror I have an inventory I can access. I pick the battery charger (gift 2) because I feel like that could be used in a puzzle. Socks, not so much.
-Next room is sisters room. They are also snoring. No wonder no one hears me digging around.
-Third gift found! It is just sitting out in the open. Not a lot of puzzle solving so far and Ive found half the gifts.
-This one is a notebook. Im getting some awful gifts this year.
-The Magic Prince of Zuliria Mountain: A GHB Wolsterhamster Journey. I prefer nonfiction myself. Is this a reference to something?
-Sister 2 is a sci-fi nerd. I know this because her whole side of the room is nothing but sci-fi books.
-Fourth present found! It is in a little closet in the hallway. Im just cruising now. Time to go downstairs, I guess.
-My aunt and uncles mean dog is here and is blocking a door. Hello mean dog can I interest you in a battery charger?
-I guess I solve a puzzle in the kitchen? I push something a couple of blocks just because I could and the game goes eureka, now the door is unlocked! Oh. Ok. Didnt even know it was locked in the first place.
-Spoopy dark basement time.
-I found the lightswitch. Now it is less spoopy.
-I find my uncles gift! He got mea sword? Uncle is hated by mom and dad, I guarantee it.
-Theres a secret hole in the wall. If my knowledge of horror movies is correct, this is either dads torture dungeon or a gateway to hell.
-My aunts present to me is down here too for some reason. A whoppie cushion. Thats 6/6 now so good job me.
-Kid comments he thinks his adventure isnt over yet. Yeah, I was judging that based on the hidden gate down here.
-So Ive stumbled on some sort of mystical world. Weird. Theres a fairy down here and she says that the creatures down here will give us treasures if we help them out. Uh. Ok? This game definitely took a bizarre turn but I guess Ill help.
-Also I got my first trophy for using the sword to open the locked gate. 1/6 from that at the moment so lets go get the other five.
-So I can use the map to move around more quickly now to rooms I missed. Looks like the two rooms I didnt go into are a sort of living room and then a room where aunt/uncle are sleeping. -Nothing interesting in either and Ive wasted steps. Great.
-Oh. Not sure if I mentioned it yet but I found the developer posting in the Discord and he disclosed that the time in this game is tied to the steps you take. So there is some sort of time limit for a reason I cant even begin to guess at.
-Theres a maze with a unicorn. And by maze I mean some tunnels they are calling a maze because you can clearly see the entrance and exit.
-I try to give the unicorn the five items I have. None works. Steps wasted.
-One screen down is a sleeping lioness that is the ruler of this realm. The two people here talk about how cool she is and how no one has been able to wake her up for centuries. Im assuming this is hinting that I can. Time to go get the whoopie cushion.
-The whoopie cushion doesnt work but the charger does becauseI dont know, man. It just does, ok? Theyre like oh we can try why not and then she wakes up and they give me a gold bar and thats it. Alrighty then.
-I solve a couple more rudimentary puzzles and get two more trophies. Fairy food goes to the hungry skeleton and socks are used to cross the lake of fire. Two trophies left and one room left to go in, so Im guessing theyre both in there.
-This is one of those way too minimal indie adventure games that doesnt put up much resistance. The biggest challenge here is the annoying inventory system where I have to go back to a mirror to get the right item if I cant psychically divine what thing Ill need next.
-Alright, well, thats it. I get the final two trophies pretty easily. I bring the right item the first time so I dont even get the introductory dialogue telling me who the hell these people are but honestly I dont really care enough to go back and replay to find out what theyre supposed to say.

-I get transported to the end and the final scene is kinda cute and has me giving the treasures from the basement to my family as a way to make up opening all my Christmas presents early. There is some charm to the game, Ill give it that. Thats basically all I give it though.
-I try to go back in and see when the game is supposed to game over. I finish at like 4 AM so presumably it is like a 5/6 AM type of thing. I dont know if I can though because I walk around until its like 9AM and Im still getting the jeez my parents should be up soon message. Im not sure if I can trigger the fail state because I already saw the ending or if it was a fake threat and there isnt one. Either way, you have a ton of time and its a short game so it ends up not mattering.
-Final thoughts coming soon!

Time Played: It was in that 45 minutes to an hour range, I think.
High Score: All puzzles solved at 4:02 in the morning. Plenty of morning left to go back and hide, if needed.
Beaten? Yep
Grade: Wow I keep repeating myself here but I think this is another 3. I'll have to think about it a bit more, but I do think it finishes above "terrible" and is merely "bad". Cute little set up but way, way too simple to be anything noteworthy.
Favorite Part So Far: Ending was cute.

Game #17 Complete! Hidey Spot

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: Hide and Don't Seek

Final Thoughts: My attempts to venture away from the Season 1 releases have been a disaster thus far. I've played 17 games, and of the four catalogue games I've played only one has managed to crack the top ten. And that one is only there because Snak wouldn't stop setting itself on fire when I tried to play it for too long. Hidey Spot doesn't have to worry about that though because I'd still take barely functional Snake clone over this one.

This is one of "those" indie adventure games. I've probably played more adventure games than any other genre at this point, so I can find "those" types of indie adventure games pretty quickly. You know what I'm talking about. The kind of game that is just there. Somewhere a developer is like "I want to make an adventure game" and their friends are like "oh hey that's cool - about what?" And then the developer just stares at them for a while and goes "I want to make an adventure game!" It is one of those absolute nothing adventure games that you find all over itch.io. A low effort, low interest, low creativity game that almost isn't even interesting enough to be awful.

I know you can do better adventure games than this on the Playdate, so this isn't even a system limitation. Casual Birder is a short adventure game, but it is still a game. It is a full game that proves you can do full game type stuff. This feels more like an eye test than a game. I want you to look at this picture below:

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/24a79248.png

Where is the playable character? How long did it take you to find it? You shouldn't be looking at a game and questioning if you're losing your eyesight. It is a 45 minute game where you do almost nothing and it looks like this. AND THEY'RE ASKING FOR $6. SIX DOLLARS. The only way this game should cost six dollars is if it came bundled with seven dollars.

I haven't even really talked about the gameplay, which is where my main problem is. First half of the game is finding six presents and you do this just by looking around a handful of small rooms. Multiple presents aren't even hidden anywhere. They're just sitting out in the open. And then the back half is using one of these items as a key to open a door and then bringing one of five objects to one of five characters. Hey this skeleton character is hungry and one of your five items is food. Is that a puzzle? Do we consider what waiters do puzzles? Even if these were all weird esoteric solutions, there are five characters you can talk to and five items you have that you use once. You can brute force through this in two minutes.

This is just a bad, nothing adventure game that doesn't even use the crank. You can play bad adventure games on your computer for way less than $6. It wasn't Boogie Loops bad, but it was the first game that gave it a run for its money.

Should You Play It? Absolutely not. $6 for this? I feel like some sort of government agency needs to get involved.

Final Score: I'm ultimately going with a 2. Terrible. Truly terrible. There is some little bit of cuteness to the set up and I didn't completely hate the dialogue. I hated everything else though.

Games Completed: 17/118

Game Rankings:
17) Boogie Loops
16) Hidey Spot
15) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
14) Whitewater Wipeout
13) Snak
12) DYG
11) Lost Your Marbles
10) Grand Tour Legends
9) Demon Quest '85
8) Flipper Lifter
7) Questy Chess
6) Echoic Memory
5) Omaze
4) Sasquatchers
3) Casual Birder
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Currently Playing: The Lushes Land

What Is It? An NES Zelda game with all the stuff you like taken out of it

Gameplay Overview: This really is just a trimmed down version of Zelda 1. You have a map to explore and the game doesn't tell you where to go so you're left to wander wherever you want. You have a sword for stabbing and you attack out right in front of you. There are three dungeons in the game, each of which has locked doors you need to open by exploring a bit and finding keys and switches. Explore, stab, repeat.

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/f5309558.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/2/2c8d2cd7.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/e7893eaa.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/39002333.png

Thoughts:
-Time for The Lushes Land. Why? It is an action adventure game and the only genre I havent played on the Playdate yet.
-This journey is simple. Explore the Lushes Land, and try to recover the gems that still remain on the island. Assuming therere still on the island Wait does that make sense?
-I googled because I feel like Im losing my mind and therere is a contraction of there are. -Assuming there are still on the island? I feel like it is supposed to be theyre right? One sentence in and already a confusing typo. Good start.
-Oh boy. Another game where everything looks like a little blop on the screen. Really good start.
-I have no idea where I am or what Im supposed to be doing. Its felt like the game has almost crashed like four times just moving around.
-I think Im a blob? Not positive but I look blobby.
-I think I found a dungeon. Like 90% sure.
-Yeah its a dungeon. Theres keys and everything.
-I find a pickaxe. No clue how to use it. Probably not important, right?
-Oh ok I use it automatically when I get to what I assume are rocks but I thought mightve been poops. Swords break jars (which can have hearts). Pickaxe breaks rocks by walking into them.
-Combat is uh certainly a thing. My strategy has been to stand in a single spot and keep spamming attack while the enemies walk into me. Seems to be working so far.
-Ive thought this dungeon has ended like four times already but it keeps going. Samey room after samey room.
-I mean, ok, Ive been through like maybe ten rooms. But it feels longer because every single one looks identical.
-Ah ok heres the end. Big final room of a bat and a skeleton thing maybe. Same things in all the other rooms.
-I found the first gem! Based on the size of the menu, there are three more. So of the way done aw yeah.
-I feel like this is a game for people that liked the exploration in Zelda 1 but dont anything else. You dont really get puzzles here (at least so far) and the combat is several levels below even the basic combat from that game. What you do have is a map and no directions on where the hell to go.
-Im going to systematically do this just to make sure I dont miss anything.
-Theres a sign that says I can go to town one way or some island the other way. Im assuming the island has a dungeon, so I pick that.
-Nope, no dungeon. But there is another item here. It looks like uh er uh maybe a boomerang? That cant be right be I dont know how else to describe it.
-Does it cut grass? No. Cool that was the one other environment object Ive noticed so Im all out of idea.
-Ah ok it breaks the slightly bigger rocks. So pickaxe breaks small poopy looking rocks and this one breaks slightly bigger circular rocks.
-Theres a dog with music notes around it. I have no clue what it does so I just move on.
-I find a house with another little slime inside. No. No treasure for you. Fine Ill just break all your pots instead.
-There is this weird thing in this game where sometimes environment objects are right on the side of the screen. Like trees for example. You can move into them from the screen over. So, like, if there is a tree all the way on the left of one screen, if you walk into this screen from the screen to the left of it and go into where the tree is, you just get stuck. You can move back at least, but you cant move around on the screen. Seems like a dumb design choice to put objects on the edge of a screen when you can move into them.

-I make my way into town. Time to check the first house! I think youre in the wrong house. So far the dialogue in this game is 100% people confused why I broke into their residence.
-Anything catch your eye? another slime says. Uh I dont know. Is this a shop? I have two coins (I think thats what the icon is) but I cant buy anything and it doesnt take me to a menu anywhere. I guess Ill just break your vases, too.
-I would explore the staircase near the beach, but Im too scared. You should be. There are bats in there! And vases. SO MANY VASES.
-I wonder whats on that island over there. I wonder too. I think it is a boomerang but I honestly cant tell with these visuals. A boulder smashing boomerang. Does that sound right to you? Hello? Where are you going?
-Yeah there are all these stalls in town and some of them have signs that say SALE but there isnt anything actually for SALE. Please let me spend my two coins!
-Oh an actually important house! One of the slimes is like oh youre the guy they sent from the mainland, Ive heard so much about you! Yeah, thats me world famous slime that looks exactly like all the other slimes.
-I forgot to mention up front, but on the store page the game says this is a spin-off of Tochi. What is Tochi? No clue! But maybe Im something from that game.
-The guy says that no one has seen the gems Im looking for for a long time, but I should check the ruins. Yeah, I already did that and found one.
-He gives me the fourth item! Thats all the items now!
-This one isauhmap? Maybe? I cant tell again. It doesnt do anything right now though.
-The slime says to show him the gems if I find them because he wants to see them. I talk to him again to try and show him the one I already found and hes just like good luck on your journey! Fine then. Ill keep my gems.
-Something else I didnt mention: the b button is this game is used solely for inverting the visuals. -Do you want things white with a black background or black with a white background? Why is one button set to do this when it could be doing infinitely other things? No clue.
-I have no clue what that last item does, if anything. I dont seem to be able to break apart anything I couldnt before.
-I actually dont seem to be able to break apart those bigger rocks any more. Is this a glitch?
-This whole game feels like it is hanging on by a thread. It keeps semi-freezing where it wont let me move for a second, then comes back and the music speeds up faster for the next couple of seconds like it is trying to catch up.
-Oh, did I mention this game doesnt save? You cant quit out of it or you just lose your progress entirely. Why? Why is it like this? How hard is it to put in a save state so I can go back to the menu if needed?
-I wander around a bit more and find the second dungeon. Nice.
-Pretty much the same as the first. Fight a couple of enemies, pick up a key, flip a switch, find the gem, leave.
-I finally figure out what the paper does. I think?
I can now go into a menu by flipping out my crank. The crank doesnt do anything there, it just opens it up. In the menu I can see credits, review controls (why?), and transport to campsites Ive been to. Thats the big one. Theres four campsites, three of which Ive found already and one that shows up as a ? on the fake map. So I have explored like 80% of the map, I think.
-What I cant do from this menu is leave. Like I cant just back out. I have to use a campsite or quit out of the game. I transport to the nearest one and wander back, muttering about how dumb that was.
-I find the third dungeon and, again, same thing. I beat it in maybe 5-10 minutes at most.
-THIRD GEM GET.
-Ooops turns out there were only three. The little module that holds them is a square but they form a triangle so Im assuming thats it.
I check out the last little bit of map. There is a slime who is like who came all the way up here? and another campfire. Plus another of the random dogs with music notes around it. Still dont know what that means.
-Theres a lot of decorations here that are just unfinished. Almost all the signs read these are too faded to read. I find a couple of gravestones which are a unique decoration so I was curious and checked them out and they also say you cant read these gravestones. So why include them?
-Well, thats it. I show the gems to the one guy who asked them and hes just like oh thats cool better be leaving huh? Ok, yeah, fine I can take a hint.
-You exit at the screen you start from and you get a one page ending that is basically just like yep thats it but theres more to do next time. Cant wait to find out what the next chapter of the Tochi expanded universe has in store for us.
-Well. Um. That was better than Hidey Spot. I dont know where itll rank just yet, but it is at least better than the second to worst game Ive played on this console, for sure.

Time Played: Hour and a half or so
High Score: 100% completion
Beaten? Destroyed
Grade: Yet another 3? I don't think it was terrible. But it was really, really, really bad.
Favorite Part So Far: All the confused people asking what the hell I was doing in their houses

This topic depresses me, because every time I look, it seems like you aren't valuing your own time. Suffering through all these 3/10s and 5/10s. After a while, it feels like I'm reading someone who is stuck in a sunk cost fallacy.

TomNook posted...

This topic depresses me, because every time I look, it seems like you aren't valuing your own time. Suffering through all these 3/10s and 5/10s. After a while, it feels like I'm reading someone who is stuck in a sunk cost fallacy.

Nah tc is a hero. Hes playing all these games so we dont have to, in the hopes of helping the community find a diamond in the rough.

But I do think he owes it to himself to spend money on something good and get Gun Trails or something lol

Also play me in smash for your account

TomNook posted...

This topic depresses me, because every time I look, it seems like you aren't valuing your own time. Suffering through all these 3/10s and 5/10s. After a while, it feels like I'm reading someone who is stuck in a sunk cost fallacy.

TomNook7 posted...

Nah tc is a hero. Hes playing all these games so we dont have to, in the hopes of helping the community find a diamond in the rough.

But I do think he owes it to himself to spend money on something good and get Gun Trails or something lol

Also play me in smash for your account

https://media.tenor.com/mg0QH3Ui9-gAAAAd/this-is-getting-out-of-hand-now-there-are-two.gif

I literally didn't know you were two different people until just now.

Also I swear I don't have Stockholm Syndrome! I've largely been enjoying myself because even if the games aren't "great" they are very unique and quirky. It really has only been thist last stretch when I've been playing a lot of catalogue games that things took a downturn.

I've been saving a couple of games for a rainy day (Gun Trails included) that I looked into a bit or that get really positive reviews as some of the top games on the system. It might be time to crack open that "in case of emergency" stockpile though.

Suprak_the_Stud posted...

https://media.tenor.com/mg0QH3Ui9-gAAAAd/this-is-getting-out-of-hand-now-there-are-two.gif

I literally didn't know you were two different people until just now.

really dude

its literally in my signature

I thought that was a joke! I know someone else here who has a sig that references their other old account that's like "oh jeez I don't know who that guy is but he sounds cool". I thought this was the same thing.

Game #18 Complete! The Lushes Land

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: Zelda Minus Zelda

Final Thoughts: Can you make a game for the Playdate that doesn't use the crank? Absolutely! Should you? Probably not. Because if you do and your game is just generic mush, you get this. This is absolutely the kind of game you would see on itch.io that comes bundled with 18 other games for 57 cents but here they're asking four dollars for it.

The Lushes Land is essentially an NES Zelda game for a person who's favorite part of an NES Zelda game was wandering around without a clear direction. You have a decent sized map to explore but absolutely nothing to find in it. There are three dungeons, and that's it. You don't pick up extra items you need or find secrets or Easter eggs or anything. You just wander around, fighting the same four different enemies which honestly might as well be one enemy because they're all exactly the same other than the sprite. You get no clever puzzles in the dungeons or interesting enemies to fight or whatever the hell Tingle is supposed to be. You get methodical map checking for about an hour and a half and that's it.

It just feels like one of those nothing sort of games you get from novice indie developers. "I want to make a game" "Ok what do you want to do?" "Well, I really want to make a game" "Uh huh but what are you trying to say with it or what do you want it to be?" "Well I want it to be a game that works". That's this. That was the design philosophy behind this game and hundred of others rotting in the depths of the itch.io catalogue. It is boring and generic and just generally uninteresting. I'm ranking it above Hidey Spot only because I at least sort of like wandering around a map like this, even if there's nothing to do there.

Should You Play It? No way. Play any one of 100 better games with a similar concept instead.

Final Score: 3. Just barely a 3. Functional (except for when it isn't) and short. Do you want functional and short? Aspire to more in life.

Games Completed: 18/118

Game Rankings:
18) Boogie Loops
17) Hidey Spot
16) The Lushes Land
15) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
14) Whitewater Wipeout
13) Snak
12) DYG
11) Lost Your Marbles
10) Grand Tour Legends
9) Demon Quest '85
8) Flipper Lifter
7) Questy Chess
6) Echoic Memory
5) Omaze
4) Sasquatchers
3) Casual Birder
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

The Playdate store strikes again! I was down to 100 games left but we get ten new games added to the catalogue so that milestone of mine is no more. Some highlights:

Root Bear
https://play.date/games/root-bear/
Johnbobb shared this game earlier because it went viral on social media, and it finally gets its ofificial Playdate release! You pour bears root beer using the crank. Looks like the sort of perfect goofy score chaser that uses the crank perfectly. I'll be getting this one soon.

Nightingale
https://play.date/games/nightingale/
Weird janky indie adventure horror? Yes please. I play a ton of indie horror and 95% of them are garbage. This is giving me garbage vibes from the screenshot but you know what? I'm getting this one anyway. I love horror and this is the first game on the Playdate that is really advertising itself as horror so I'm definitely nabbing this one soon too.

Chew Chew Mimic
https://play.date/games/chew-mimic/
Puzzle game where you try to lure a group of knights to a mimic chest so you can eat them. I can't quite tell what the mechanics are here from the blurb, but I'll probably check this one out on the Playdate store to see if they show off some footage. I'm interested at least and it sounds like a fun concept for a puzzle game.

Pullfrog
https://play.date/games/pullfrog/
Tetris but you're a frog that has to pull the pieces in line with your tongue as they fall.

Root Bear looks fun for like 20 minutes tops

Nightingale looks very compelling, definitely has Creepypasta vibes

$9 is way too much for like any game on this system I feel like

Pullfrog is cute at least? I feel like half of these games are just based on a pun

Root Bear looks fun for like 20 minutes tops

They dont have leaderboards on the landing page for the game, which in my experience means there are none. And if there are none then yeah, this is going to be a quick novelty and nothing else.

$9 is way too much for like any game on this system I feel like

Thats the biggest problem with the system imo. So many $5-$10 games that should be maybe one or two.

Currently Playing: Zipper

What Is It? Turn based strategy made by Bennet Foddy. Very Foddian. Very strategy.

Gameplay Overview: You take a turn, then bad guys take a turn. You can move to a square and before selecting it, use the crank to see how that effects enemy movement on their turn. You kill enemies by either moving directly into them (front, side, back) or by zipping past them as long as they are on a square adjacent to the path you're moving. You can blind enemies (stunning them) if you kill someone adjacent to them and spray blood on them which comes in handy in the crowded rooms. Enemies kill you in a single hit if you let them reach you first, so understanding movement is key. Speaking of keys, one will spawn in one of a handful of potential spots on the map, and you need to find it to get into the castle for the last handful of challenge rooms and the final boss.

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/7e3dbd66.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/f/faca1799.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/e/e71ffadc.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/d/d6727e48.png
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/8/83051d10.png

Thoughts:
-Oh God not Bennet Foddy
-This is the game that specifically got me to skip doing Season 1 in order because I did not want to play a Bennet Foddy game. He's made Getting Over It and QWOP, both of which are like bottom ten games for me.
-I did try it for like ten minutes when it was next in line, died, got sent back to the start and thought "nope, not today Satan" before wandering off to try other things.
-This game does not want to explain anything to you. Games on the Playdate seem to have all been made with the mantra "figure it out yourself, idiot".
-I'm doing terribly so far. I've figured out moving past the enemies is good unless you don't kill them in which case thy immediately run down after you to kill you, which is bad.
-I thought I could leave and flee enemies, but even if you go to a space which gets you to the next room, they still get a chance to do their moves and kill you if they have enough spaces to do so. That was fun to find out eight rooms into a run and get sent back to the start.
-Does the crank do anything? It doesn't seem to do anything other than make weird noises in the game. Every game definitely needs a "make odd noises" button so I'm glad they included it.
-I feel like I'm just bumbling around and I'm not getting any further. I can handle easy rooms but then you get to one with like four pikemen and its chaos and I don't know what the hell to do.
-Ok, so you have normal enemies. They suck and are easy to kill. Then you have pikemen. They can attack form two spaces away and also block movement one square in front of them by their pike. They suck because they are hard to kill. Then there are ninjas that throw stars and you from across the screen and I have no clue how to kill them. They suck a lot. Then there are elite swordsmen. The can block your attacks from the front but are vulnerable from the sides. A strategy I've found that works is to zip one spot past them to trigger their block, then zip to the side and kill them while they are locked into their block animation. I'm ok with these guys.
-I feel like I'm never really learning what's going on. I get to a room that I can't figure out, die, get sent back to the start with no new info.
-Also enemy placement and patterns are random between runs. Sometimes I'll get to a room and its a lone goon and sometimes I get to that same room and the game goes "hey fuck you" and its four pikemen all spread out super far so I have no chance of lining them up.
-Ok, I finally figured out a strategy for the ninjas. What you have to do is zoom one square past them. They'll hop back a set. Now you move directly next to them and the do not move because they have a one frame recovery from their dodge animation BUT only if you do not trigger another dodge. You don't if you move next to them because you have to zip past to actually attack. Now when you move, you'll kill them because they apparently do not dodge if you are right next to them at the start of the attack for some reason. I find all this out through blind luck when I was trying to just trigger a dodge and escape the room (which was my previous strategy).
-Oh, also you can kill them if you attack them head on. Also, they cannot attack through other enemies, even previously defeated ones. I discover this by accident too.
-Oh, what the fuck I fucking finally figure out what the crank does, also by accident.
-I'm just goofing around with it because it made noises sometimes and other times not, and I discover that if you use the crank when you go to move but before you actually select a square to move, you see where the enemies can move.
-The game DOES NOT tell you this. It is the single most mechanic in the entire game because it makes it actually playable and they do not hint it is something you need to do.
-Like before I was moving space and hoping the enemies would move where I want them to, now I can see where my movement causes them to move. Game changer. The game is playable now! If only the game explained this to me up front.
-Ah fuck I'm actually enjoying this now. I was so ready to write up an unhinged rant about how awful Bennet Foddy was but it turns out I just didn't know how to play this game.
-Like, this is a crazy way to design your game though. It is hard, unforgiving, and also not explained at all by the creator. I guess you're supposed to just figure it out yourself (I did by messing around with things) but it would've made that first hour significantly more enjoyable if I knew what the hell I was doing.
-Yeah I can actually play the game now. It still isn't easy. You still die in a single hit but I can make it through tougher rooms because I know where they're moving instead of randomly hoping for the best.
-Like you would think that "seeing where enemies move" would make the game trivial but it doesn't. You can pretty easily get yourself locked into a "I'm going to die position" if you aren't careful.
-Oh, I think I finally figured out enemy movement after some experimentation. It looks like they always move your spaces plus one extra. Those dirty cheaters. So that's how they can pretty easily corner you if you aren't being careful, and escape isn't a possibility because they mover further than you.
-I get to a castle entrance and I'm told I need a key. I didn't even know there was a key!
-Ok, so there are also guys I can talk to by moving into them in a couple of different spots. They recover my health and tell me what direction the chest is in.
-After playing a couple of times I notice they don't always tell me the same direction, so it looks like the chest moves around on each playthrough.
-I also forgot to mention that if you don't complete the game is 250 total moves, you die. It seems like an insanely high limit though unless the castle is huge.

-I die the first run I make it to the castle thanks to fucking pikemen, aka the bane of my existence in this game.
-Next run I make it to the key, get to the castle and get in. Aw yeah.
-New enemy type. DEMONS. They sound scary but don't move or attack. So not scary at all.
-You essentially have to kill them all to open the door, but if you do not make it to the door in the next turn they respawn. Also if you don't kill a demon in a turn the ones you already did kill respawned. So you need to plan out your path to kill them all within a turn of each other, and then end your last one on a clear shot to the exit.
-Hey this is a super fun idea for a puzzle game all by itself and its thrown in as an afterthought here.
-Aw man there are only three rooms of that. Boo.
-Another new mechanic! This one each time you even look at a spot, enemies move. So if you move your cursor up one, they move, and if you select to move there, they move again. But if you move it to the spot, they move, and then you back off and don't choose anything, they don't move back. So essentially you have to be careful because they can kill you without moving at all.
-I don't know what the hell is going on in that room my first time so I die. Fun. I wonder how many rooms I had left.
-Ok, after a couple more attempts I make it back! This time I clear the room easily because I know the mechanics.
-Oh, the next room was the final boss. He taunts you but doesn't have any special skills, so I kill him and move on. Some boss!
-Well, that's the game! I get the ending and it starts over again, if you want. I'll give it a couple more goes because there is a leaderboard here and I didn't make it on. It judges your score by how many moves you have left at the end. Let me see if I can get on that leaderboard before I call it quits.

Time Played: Probably three-four hours between all my playthroughs.
High Score: 220 moves left
Beaten? Finally
Grade: This was setting up to be a three, but once I figured out how the hell to play it, it is actually like a six or a seven. It is pretty fun honestly and far and away the most challenging game on the system so far. I just wish they had 1) explained how to play it at the start and 2) made it a bit more substantial. There were mechanics here they show for just a couple of rooms before moving on and they really could've built it up more.
Favorite Part So Far: Finding out I died on the room before the final room was very much a "haha well that sucked" moment but beating the game after struggling with it for a while was pretty nice.

Oh yeah zipper is cool

Game #19 Complete! Zipper

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: Not Nearly As Annoying As Bennet Foddy's Other Games!

Final Thoughts:
So I beat this one three different times now, but I'm not really getting any closer to the leaderboard. I did some checking on the Discord and I think those top times are a result of glitches, which makes chasing them sort of pointless. I think right around 250 is possible depending on layout and luck, but I don't feel like playing through again and again hoping to get a favorable set up so I'm just calling this one beat even if I usually like to try and get on a leaderboard first.

Zipper goes to near the top of the leaderboard in terms of favorites for me at least, knocking off the only catalogue game I had in the top ten out of my top ten. I am starting to get worried about the catalogue the more I explore it. The Season 1 releases have been mostly decent at least, including three games I would consider genuinely good, no qualifications or crank gimmick blindness required. But all of the catalogue games I've played have been various flavors of not good. Like, just looking at Zipper you know its going to be better than anything I've played on the catalogue so far. The visuals here aren't fantastic or anything, but it looks good for the Playdate and you can tell what things are. It looks like it was made by someone who knew what they were doing and it isn't just amorphous blobs dotting the screen.

I had fun with this, but I do wish they had built up the concepts here a bit more. Like you have those demon puzzle rooms at the end and its almost a fun enough idea to base its own game around. But you just have three and then the game moves on. Final real room introduces a completely new mechanic but you just have that one room of it and oops its over. The core mechanic here is pretty fun and I like that this game isn't afraid to punish you if you don't know what you're doing. I just wish they had told you some stuff so I wasn't bumbling around the game the first hour or so. I get they want us to discover some stuff ourselves, which is fine, but you at least have to tell me how the crank works. THAT'S THE WHOLE BASIS OF THE GAME. I found it out by accident when I was getting ready to quit and move on to something else.

But still. this is solid. This and Crankin are definitely the two most challenging games I've played so far, and I love a game that isn't afraid to be brutally hard. I did check around the Discord some and the general consensus I was getting was this is too hard (people wanted checkpoints) and too inaccessible (people wanted more of an explanation). I agree with the second point, but totally disagree with the first. Checkpoints would've ruined this game and I liked that sense of "oh no oh fuck uh I hope this move is right" when you can't quite figure how to line up a difficult group of enemies. There are some rooms I still haven't figured out, and there's one room where you can get four polearm enemies spread out super far that I just take the long way around because I got sick of dying in it.

Nice to finally play something good again. Guess this is a good time to dive back into the catalogue while I'm on a high note.

Should You Play It? Definitely. One of the better games on the system and its free.

Final Score: 7. Sort of a low seven but still a seven. Good game that's hurt a bit by not exploring the mechanics as much as I would've liked and refusing to tell you how to play it out of spite. Still, this one ranks high. Just a little below Pick Pack Pup but finally beating out Casual Birder for that bronze medal spot for now.

Games Completed: 19/128

Game Rankings:
19) Boogie Loops
18) Hidey Spot
17) The Lushes Land
16) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
15) Whitewater Wipeout
14) Snak
13) DYG
12) Lost Your Marbles
11) Grand Tour Legends
10) Demon Quest '85
9) Flipper Lifter
8) Questy Chess
7) Echoic Memory
6) Omaze
5) Sasquatchers
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Currently Playing: The Fall Of Elena Temple

What Is It? Indie puzzle platformer game #15162.

Gameplay Overview: So you play as a little squiggle named Elena. You need to go through 23 different rooms in this temple and grab every coin in it. There are a handful of different obstacles or mechanics (portals that teleport you, platforms that collapse, snakes), but the important one here is the rewind function. Elena can't jump but she can rewind her falls (keeping all the coins she collected regardless). She can only rewind so many times at once though, so you have to be careful or you might get stuck in a pit somewhere.

Here's The Game Page! https://play.date/games/the-fall-of-elena-temple/

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/4/433454f5.png
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https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/1/13057d20.png

Thoughts:
-Well, moving on to The Fall of Elena Temple. I 100% picked this one next because of the title and it reminded me of The Fall of the House of Usher. It has nothing to do with that. I can tell from the screenshots it isnt anything referencing Poes work at all. But still, fun title.
-Ok title screen shows me that there are twenty rooms and the music is making me want to go deaf. There are two options at the menu screen: select your room and turn off the music. Ive never been happier to play in silence.
-Now youve done it again, Elena! Why do I always get myself in these sort of troubles? I know! Because I wanted these coins and I love exploring dungeons. Come on, girl, lets do what we do best! Get all those shiny coins! Waitso here name is Elena Temple? And she explorestemples? Hm, maybe thats why she became a temple explorer.
-Ok so if these are the levels these seem super short. You basically have one screen to look at and you need to grab all the coins to complete it, I think.
-I should be careful where I fall. I dont want to wind up somewhere I cant get back up from. Ah, ok, so it is a puzzley sort of platforming game.
-Wait can I not jump? What the hell? So this is a wander around and fall game?
-I turn the music back on out of sheer curiosity, and I swear the track for this stage sounds like someone playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star on a recorder and the turning the reverb all the way up.
-There are these little twinkle spots in the stage, but I dont know what they do other than serve as a warning that twinkle twinkle little star is waiting for me if I dare turn the music back on.
-Also, and this is weird as hell, once the song finishes it just goes silent. Like I didnt need to mute it again, it just ended. If I want it to start back up, I have to go to the menu, go to music, and select on. Again. I wouldnt do this if the music was something I wanted to listen to.
-Ah, ok so there are portals at some points in the stage. Step into them and they transport you to the twinkle spots.
-And I can jump, but straight up and not left or right. So I cant jump up to a platform, but I can jump up and grab a coin if it is right above my head. Does this add anything to the gameplay? No. Pushing up to make your character move up one space is no different than just walking to get it.
-Boy I love my puzzle platforming games with no platforming, I tell ya.
-First room is super straight forward and I clear it first try. At the end Elena makes a hilarious meta comment about quitting and restarting if she gets herself stuff and then is like jeez why did I say that out loud.
-Ok, the next level introduces the important mechanic in the game, which is that you can rewind time to reverse your last fall. You can do it four times, so Im guessing the game is about planning your moves ahead to make sure you dont wind up using up all your rewinds. Interesting.
-Oh wait, I misunderstood. You have unlimited rewinds, but you can only rewind four falls at max at once. So if you fall from five spots, you can only go back four and can never get back up. But you can rewind four times as many times as you want in a level. That makes things way easier and I blow through the second stage my first try once I figure that out.
-Yeah, so this is sort of a flawed concept for a puzzle game, unless they change it more. You have to get the time turn backer on each stage, so you basically need to make sure you dont fall somewhere you cant get out of before that and then just never go over that max falls unless youre sure you dont need to go back up. Its been very trivial so far, and I think Im five levels in now. I cant remember as the music is slowly killing me.
-Oh, I forgot. Now I have to turn back time midfall and theyre like ok just press the up button instead of using the crank for an instant teleport back. As long as you dont sneeze or something you should be fine because the coins you need to grab are always pretty far above of the spikes and you move slowly.
-Im six levels in and bored. Not a good sign.
-The little snarky dialogue Elena says is mildly charming. If only the rest of the game was.
-Ok, so the tenth level is finally the first one that I dont complete immediately. They introduce locked doors a couple of levels before, and this is the first one that has more doors than keys. You need to figure out which ones dont actually need to be opened by using a combination of portals and rewinds.
-I feel like that Gordon Ramsey finally some good fucking food meme. I know were only ten levels in, but theres only 20 here total so half the game has been completely brainless.
-I cannot emphasize enough how absolutely awful the music in this game is.
-Ok the game has sort of turned a corner for me. Puzzling is better now and it is easier to lose now that they have more mechanics.
-One level introduces ladders. There is a letter at the bottom of a bit below a ladder and it says something like haha yeah so uh hope you didnt drop down from the ladder because that does not count as a drop point. It is a little annoying but also a little funny in the way it is written. And also it is an important mechanic to learn because you use ladders in the next little part to save a drop down when gathering coins. Not bad design, tbqh.

-I get through the twenty levels and unlock three bonus levels. Fun. Well, fun-ish, at least.
-I dont mind the puzzles in this game after they started to open things up. But it is still too easy, and a lot of these levels sort of solve themselves. As long as youre paying attention to how many moves you have left, you can sort of figure out what you need to do and when.
-Oh, and the hardest thing in this game? The dissolving platforms. Not because it makes things harder to figure out (although I suppose that is sort of true), but because the visuals in this game are so basic that it is hard to see the visual cue for where these spaces are. I lost a handful of times by accident because I didnt realize I was walking over a dissolving space until it was too late.
-They also dont quite do enough with the mechanics. I feel like they needed double the amount of puzzle rooms they have here, and this is definitely one of those hey its my first time, cut me some slack! sort of offerings.
-First bonus room introduces magnets, which pulls coins from an extra space away. I clear it on my second attempt. My first attempt? Missed a dissolving platform. Oops.
-Second room has pillars that appear when you step on certain spots. They function kind of like the dissolving platforms, but they block you from falling through as well. Pretty clever puzzle design out of this room.
-Third room uses both mechanics, plus some others, then ends. And uh thats it.
-Well, thats another one I can check off. Almost a perfectly acceptable puzzle game if they wouldve actually finished it!

Time Played: 60-90 minutes, I think
High Score: All the coins are mine the money is mine I got the money
Beaten? Yep
Grade: Um. You know, maybe a 4? Low 5, maybe? There are some decent puzzle rooms here but there are only 23 in total and you're going to fly through most of this game without really having to think all that much.
Favorite Part So Far: Definitely the troll pit at the bottom of the ladder. That made me smile.

Game #20 Complete! The Fall of Elena Temple

Throw This Quote On The Back Of The Box: "There are some bits here I liked!"

Final Thoughts:
The good news is this is definitely the best of the catalogue games I've played so far. The bad news is that's like winning a race at the retirement home. Not exactly stiff competition here and my overall assessment of this game is definitely in the bottom half of puzzle platformer (movement puzzler?) games I've played. Like, it is good for a Playdate catalogue game but pretty meh for a game in general.

There are some levels here I thought were pretty decent. The game is at its best where I'm sitting around looking at the layout and trying to figure out which one way through the level gets me all the coins I need. Or, better yet, when I make a move and then twenty seconds later realize "oops, the game has outsmarted me". That's what I want out of a puzzle game like this. Punch me in the face once in a while. Call me dumb and make me prove I'm not. This game doesn't ever really get to that point. There's no super challenging level here, no capstone course that really makes you feel clever for solving it. There are a handful of levels here that make good use out of the mechanics, which does definitely put it above the bottom tier of Playdate games for me.

There's also a bit of a personality here, which I appreciate. Elena Temple isn't hilarious, but the little bits of dialogue at least made me smile once in a while. It feels like its own thing, too, which is also important. I don't have a ton of close comparisons for this one. I mean, time mechanics have been done to death at this point but this one still felt fairly unique. I like that especially when it is very easy to make a derivative indie game.

Still, the problem with a lot of these Playdate games still plague this one. It feels like someone's first attempt at a game. Sort of a "hey take it easy on me - I haven't done this before!" kind of vibe to it. The game gives you a mechanic, but never really spends time exploring it like it should. Hey here's spiders ok we'll play with those for two levels and then move on forget about the spiders. This is the kind of game that feels like it needs twice the levels it has, and it is a pretty basic, bare bones puzzle platformer all things considered. Not terrible, but you're not going to miss out on skipping it.

Should You Play It? Eh. No? Probably not. It isn't terrible but I don't think that's enough to really warrant a purchase. It is only three dollars and there is some fun here, so maybe if you love puzzle platformers and don't mind a basic, one hour sort of experience.

Final Score: Solid 4. Some good ideas. Some bad ones. Some sense that the game stole your three dollars and ran off with it.

Games Completed: 20/128

Game Rankings:
20) Boogie Loops
19) Hidey Spot
18) The Lushes Land
17) A Joke That's Worth 0.99 Cents
16) Whitewater Wipeout
15) Snak
14) DYG
13) Lost Your Marbles
12) Grand Tour Legends
11) Demon Quest '85
10) The Fall of Elena Temple
9) Flipper Lifter
8) Questy Chess
7) Echoic Memory
6) Omaze
5) Sasquatchers
4) Casual Birder
3) Zipper
2) Pick Pack Pup
1) Crankin's Time Travel Adventure

Hey I now have a top ten and bottom ten Playdate game list that doesn't have any overlap. Congrats on Elena Temple to be the only non Season 1 game to make the top ten. Just barely though.

Currently Playing: Nightingale

What Is It? That horror game I said I was going to play earlier even though I was pretty sure it wouldn't be that good. It wasn't that good.

Gameplay Overview: I mean, it's an indie adventure game. You play one of those before? This is that.

Here's The Game Page! https://play.date/games/nightingale/

Here's Some Pictures!
https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/79bde80e.png
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Thoughts:
-Nightingale is next on my list. Im a sucker for indie horror. Sorry.
-This one is the first game Ive played for the Playdate with a content warning. And yet they didnt warn me about Boogie Loops. Curious.
-Opening scene has me being pushed in a hospital bed. I think. This is another one of those someones first attempt at art games.
-I also have a sound option to turn off the tinnitus if it bothers me. Nah. Im too tough for your tinnitus warnings!
-My character wakes up saying their hands hurt which might be a clue as to whats going on or might be a sign our protagonist likes complaining about things.
-There are little flashes in this room and Im assuming thats the stuff I can investigate.
-Elly: They say the trip only takes a few days, but they still put you to sleep for it. Hm. Wait am I on? WHERE AM I?
-Theres also something behind the bed but I cant reach it. Oh hey we found our first puzzle!
-Oh Im on a spaceship. I find a brochure that basically tells me. Beyond the Cosmic Portal Adventure Company is founded on one principal: Adventure isnt just for the brave! Thats right you dumb ugly cowards can have adventures too.
-With our proprietary space folding technology, we can bring you right to the heart of adventure and still have you home in time for your youngests birthday. Uh oh were going to have some sort of event horizon type scenario going on arent we?
-I find a hook that can theoretically close the window, I guess? But it sounds like the kind of thing I can use to grab whatever is hiding behind my bed.
-The plants name is apparently Chuck. Hiya Chuck. Please dont scare me.
-I go to wash my hands because why not? But I am told there are bits of dried blood and metal shavings. Uh. Ok. First creepy things.
-I cant wash them off. OUT. OUT DAMN SPOT AND METAL SHAVINGS.
-The door wont open and theres a computer here but I cant access it without my ID card. Time to hook behind the bed, methinks.
-Ok so I nab the ID with the hook and I can go into the computer now. It has been 78 days since my last activation, so I mustve been sleeping for that long. I can open the door from here, but theres other stuff here too so I check that first.
-One of them is urgent alerts. Uh. Ok maybe let me check that first.
-Esteemed Travelers: This message is to inform you of a malfunction within our folding drive system, which has caused us to deviate from our course and experience significant complications. UH OH. UH OH.
-They go on to promise there is no need for alarm. Mightve wanted to send this under non-urgent totally normal alerts then guys.
-I can also check the pump status and it says the central catheter line has been compromised and may result in irreversible damage and loss of vital functions in subject. I dont like any of those words.
-Ok finally I open the door. Oh no wait psyche I dont. It says thats damaged too. Damn my whole system is a mess here.
-Hm maybe I close the window? Oops cant do that either because the hook is broken. THIS WHOLE ROOM IS FAULTY AND I DEMAND A REFUND.
-My characters name is apparently Elyham. Which might be a Pokemon name I cant remember.
-Ok so the replicator thing in my room says I have five credits. A metal bar is four credits and everything else is way too many credits. Guess Im getting the metal bar.
-Ok I bust out. This looks a lot like a hospital wing, guys. I see a wheelchair over in the corner. We sure this is a spaceship and not a fever dream?
-Hm so someone smashed the control pad outside my door. I have made enemies somehow.
-Hm looks like bad stuff happened. The monitor station is abandoned, kind of a mess, and food is left behind. I cannot snatch the food no matter how many times I try.
-That better not be what I think it isYep. Thats a corpse. *Fuck* Fuck is an understatement there, Elly. Maybe try running away screaming?
-Also the elevator is radiating some weird lines. Dont want to use weird eldritch elevator.
-It looks like his head was caved in by brute force. Well at least it wasnt dull force. That slow head crushing would be so annoying.
-Ok well I can take his ID. Hes a crew member so maybe I can get in more places?
-Ohhhh I can use it to use the terminal over here. Ok, look at me, solving puzzles before they even pop up!
-Well I cant use the replicator here, so I may need to go back to my room because Raymond was rolling in credits and had 26 of them. I can read his messages though. Might want to check them and let people know he wont be responding on account of him being dead with a brute force crushed head.
-Can you check the freezie in JJ? Her vitals have been going nuts. Well, thats me. I dont appreciate being called a freezie! I do like the game came up with this bit of lore though. Like putting in a derogatory nickname for the crew members to call people theyre transporting is a fun touch games like this dont always think of.
-The messages go on with Raymond apparently complaining about noises coming from my room, but no one else (including this Tien person) can hear them. Interesting. Spooky. Or maybe I was sleep farting, who knows.
-The first five messages are pretty normal, then the sixth one is: In the primordial nothingness, an eye opens. Sees nothing. Closes. Again opens. Perceiving nothing, shuts and weeps. It wept so deeply with what it did not yet understand to be longing that white hot bitter tears pooled until they became a flaming sword, so bright and painful that it cut through noting till form and light were bo- -Hey guys can we not send chain letters through a work email or Im going to have to let HR know. Guys? Guys whats all that screaming?
-I go back to my room to use the replicator and the outside window is all smashed. Space goblins? Were you the ones making that noise?
-Oh actually my whole room is messed up. Theres blood places there wasnt blood before and the plant is leaking some sort of black ooze. Poor Chuck.
-I go to the replicator and I do not have enough credits for the next thing. A guiserme or something like that. BUT I can recycle the iron bar, which gives me four more credits and is just enough for the word I dont recognize. It prints out and is some sort of polearm with a slice tool at the end. This will help with the monsters I shall soon be facing.
-Uh oh. Raymond has an urgent message that pops up on the computer from Captain Newell.
-Okay so apparently 64 days ago they quarantined certain wings while investigating the cause of the drive malfunction for the safety of the crew. Didnt help Raymond or his brute force caved in head any.
-More blood in the hallways now. I still cant use the thing I have to open the room next to me. JK. Ill have to wait until I get some even more insane weapon, I guess.
-Ok, this elevator is definitely radiating even bigger lines now. I do not want to go in but Im assuming I have to. Stupid eldritch elevator.
-The weird lines have started covering the body. Im guessing undead zombies are soon to be on their way.

-I hack at the elevator door a couple of times and it starts leaking black ooze, which Im told is not normal for elevators to leak.
-Nurse: holy shit you're awake! Aw man it was all a dream. Lame. Although I kind of guessed at that based on the description of the game and the warning I got up front about hospitalization and self harm, so it wasnt much of a surprise.
-Something weird got me in here. Maybe self harm based on the pre-game warning, but I'm not sure. There are a couple of questions that dont seem to matter based on the responses I give anyway. Ramon is the nurses name and he gives me a vague rundown of what happened.
-Ramon keeps going like hey you should try walking and Elly is like Im going to pass out and die and hes like aw go ahead and try for me. Whered you get your nursing degree from because I feel like two seconds from waking up from a coma isnt time to test your leg strength time.
-Ok he leaves to get the doctor and I can look around the room. Literally look as I cant leave the bed. On account of the trauma. Stupid Ramon.
-I look around the room some and check out the tv, but pain starts and I have to figure out the how to use the call button to get more drugs puzzle.
-I keep checking around once thats under control and check my texts to see my friend Cassie has been checking on me. Theres a brief text exchange where I find out the neighbors were worried about me because I apparently went crazy and kept asking them if anyone was looking for me. So maybe not self harm? The game wasnt super clear and I just made that assumption based on the pre-game warning. Interesting.
-There was some loud noise and then they found me unresponsive in the kitchen. Or ptfo as Cassie so eloquently put it.
-Cassie is working a double but will stop by after to check on me. Good friend Cassie.
-She says she wouldve assumed I got mixed up with the wrong people if not for the fact I was boring as hell and dont do anything. Less good friend Cassie.
-Well I can check the gram too, which I wouldve thought was trademarked or something but maybe this game is small enough they assume no one will care.
-Nothing. Janet had her baby. Cool. Good job Janet.
-No point in checking again. Im just doomscrolling at this point. Well uh yeah that is what you do on Instagram, duh.
-Well the only other thing I can do is ask for drugs to help me sleep so I guess Ill do that.
-Elly complains her chest feels funny and Ramon responds with Yeah these drugs are pretty godlike, ngl. Ramon I swear you have to take this more seriously or Im going to ask for another nurse you scab.
-Elly: Diddid you just say ngl out loud? Wow great question Elly. See Ramon, Elly is seconds away from a drug induced coma and she still knows youre an idiot.
-Raymond: -rn like a long black snake with a bloody mouth. Uh, nevermind. You can go back to the ngl speak if you want, friend.
-Well I once again wake up somewhere weird I dont recognize. Third time in twenty minutes, Elly.
-Uh. Now Im a kid? An abused kid? I keep getting told by momma I got to start the water and bad stuff will happen if I dont.
-Give me a second here guys Ive been in this world for five seconds and dont know how to start the water.
-Ok I leave the room and they tell me I have to prime the pump, apparently. Guess I can go do that.
-So I investigate around a little and find the step stool I need to get the bucket which I can get the water from the creek with to get the pump going. And I also find a bunch of evidence mom is an abusive alcoholic. I miss sci-fi world.
-I go back inside and notice mom is gone, so Elly thinks this is a good time to dump the alcohol from the cabinet into the creek. Im sure nothing bad will happen.
-I actually dont get caught by mom which is what I assumed would happen, but I slip into the whirlpool in the creak and drown. Slightly creepy picture of drowning child included.
-Hey I get my wish! I think? I think Im back in sci-fi world now but slightly distorted.
-More crazy text where the computer terminal used to be. The Eye is indiscriminate. The flaming sword carves out being, asserting its bloody right to existence. The Eye cannot be closed, and the fire has no sense of friend from foe
-Elly: You know what? Fuck this. Honestly most realistic reaction.
-Elly: No, fuck you. Just let me out. I dont care anymore. Mm hmm. Yep. Same. Tell the weird elevator, Elly.
-Oh the door to the elevator just opens. Apparently I just had to yell at it.
-Ok I grab a knife out of the hand of the body that used to be the crewmate guy. Im sure this will come in handy soon in a stab the door open kind of way.
-Oh, so the door didnt *totally* open. It just a little opened. When I look at it now though I can use my knife.

-She does say there are still marks from where she hit it last night, so this is still the sci-fi scene.
-And back in the hospital! Elly is confused about that weird childhood scene as shes sure thats not her or where she grew up. Moms voice was weird and scary. She wants them to cut out whatever is in her chest, which sounds like a bad idea because Im pretty sure thats her heart.
-Shes thinks it is something else though thats causing the chest pain so I guess well see.
-Doctor shows up. Hey doc can you cut out the evil in my chest please?
-Doctor asks boring doctor questions and Im like I hurt everywhere and standing makes me want to pass out and hes like hm yeah well keep trying to walk it is important. The scariest part of this game? The healthcare system. Terrifying.
-Also the doctor is Dr. Newell which Im pretty sure was the same name of the guy giving orders on the ship.
-I ask whats wrong with me. They dont know but he lists off like ten super long named things it can be. All of which are probably not great. The longer the disease name, the worse it is. Trust me.
-One is called Ondines Curse. Im like no way is that real but I google it and it is! Theres a medical disorder that is called Ondines Curse which I also think is a status ailment in DnD.
-The doctor lists some tests that Elly is too dumb to know about. Like she doesnt know what a CT scan is. Cmon Elly, youre embarrassing me in front of the doctor.
-Hes like dont stress itll make things worse and then tells me it would be better if I was less fat. Hey doc before you leave do you have any ointment for that SICK BURN?
-The developer of this game had some bad experience with a doctor at some point, Im going to guess.
-I need some more pain meds before I can look around. Ramon does Ramon stuff, I call him on it, and hes like look Ive been here since 7am cleaning up poop what do you want from me? Then he leaves. Ok thanks man and sorry about the poop.
-Theres a bird outside too now. It is apparently not that interesting as Elly calls it pretty and moves on.
-Time to check the TV. Construction on the Bay City Performing Arts Center (BCPAC) has been halted after an overnight act of vandalism that police are describing only as baffling and occult in nature. Problems for the BCPAC have mounted in the past few weeks, starting with a catastrophic scaffolding collapse earlier this month, killing multiple construction workers. Wow hey uh can I play the occult sabotage simulator? That sounds pretty interesting honestly.
-Other TV shows include a sci-fi program and a Twilight Zone knockoff about an operation you need to get when you become an adult to stop complaining. It features a talking motorcycle. I want to know more but she refuses to tell me. Laaaaaame.
-This game does not like Instagram. Very cynical about social media, which is interesting.
-I check my texts. Cassie: Whaddup u dumb fuck. Yeah Cassie is a true friend.
-Elly: Holy sht hypdropmorphone doesnte fuck aropund. Hell yeah Elly gimme some of that good stuff.
-Elly: TIs like getting hugged by 10,000 teddybears at onc. YOU DONT WANT NONE OF THIS SHIT DEWEY. IT ISNT HABIT FORMING.
-Cassie: Do you need stupid memes? See? True friend.
-Elly: The caption reads when theyre named Bobbert. Thats not how you spell Boebert! Unless it is a different in universe Bobbert in which case please carry on.
-Elly: The caption reads When that wizard pussy is too good. Okay that one made me smile.
-So I exhaust all options and pick the sleep option and the nurse is like uh it isnt even 11 am yet. -Well then what the hell am I supposed to do, game?
-Oh ok Tien shows up to take me to my CT scan. Thanks game!
-We make small talk along the way and he asks what I do, so I ask what he does. Oops. Big YOU TOO! energy here.
-I get hooked up to the device. Tien: Oh, I meant to ask you. You know about the peeing yourself thing, right? Uh wait come again?
-Oh the contrast dilates the blood vessels, causing a flush feeling but it totally isnt pee.
-Sounds like the best time to pee yourself in a hospital and get away with it.
-They put the contrast in, and I ask if my arm is supposed to itch. Tien literally says uh oh. Hey uh thats the number one answer on Family Feud for the question things you dont want your nurse to say mid procedure, Tien.
-Let me page someone. Sit tight. NOT UNTIL YOU TELL ME UH OH WHAT YOU DINGUS.
-Elly: My heart is pounding Knees weak. Moms spaghetti.
-Well Im back in nightmare world. Hey yeah sorry should have mentioned side effects include itchy arms, feeling of hot flashes, and potential nightmare world manifestation.
-Ok this is a totally different area than the previous ones. Im in some sort of weird ruins. With the CT scanner, too, for some reason.

-I find what looks like a pain chart and a guy with a knife in his chest who is apparently still alive. Id say hes at a ten.
-He has a note in his hand that basically says he found me in the ruins and Im not awake yet. Cool.
-I find a bowl in his belongings. Ill take this with me, thanks, dying guy.
-Next room has a giantperson? Statue? Guess Ill find out soon.
-I can put the bowl down in front of the statue and stairs open up, but thats it. Theres the explorers notebook nearby which gives more clues. He fell down here at some point and has been trying to get out. The statue can open the door but it needs to be filled with some sort of offering (sounds like water but probably blood). Theres an incantation on the back page which Ill be chanting soon, Im sure.
-Stairs lead to a small screen, but thick vines block the way. Time to go get that knife sticking out of the explorer, I think.
-I figured out the water of life hint like five minutes too early apparently. I need to wander around for a while first, investigate a second notebook, try the offering again, and the figure out it is blood and use the knife on myself.
-And I come out of the CT scanner! As some sort of blobby monstrosity. Oops.
-I dont fit through the door anymore so I straight up hulk my way out. This is giving me low budget Inside vibes spoiler tag there in case you havent played the game before but if you have youll know what Im talking about already.
-Well I go to some sort of weird ethereal opening a couple of hallways down, go through a weird hole in the wall, and findme! But like non nightmare me.
-I switch perspectives now, and Im normal me with a knife looking at nightmare me. I could stab myself, but I choose not to. I leave andthats it!
-Ending sequence shows the hospital, shows a bunch of medication bottles, and me hooked up to some sort of IV/treatment.
-Oh, I have an option to repaly the ending. Nice! Thanks game. I wasnt going to replay this whole thing so Im glad I can skip to the important bit.
-Oh uh. Actually nevermind I guess? My choice is locked in and I dont get the option of killing the thing or not this time. Lame. I dont know if this is a glitch or the option to kill it was never really a real option. Do I want to replay for an hour to find out. Hmmmmnah.
-Ill call this one here. I might be skipping an ending but blame it on the glitch and the fact Im not interested in playing through twice. More thoughts to follow.
-This is a pretty blah adventure game. Doesn't get the horror right. Doesn't get the adventure game right.
-I mean...it isn't the worst game I've played on the Playdate! It's got that going for it.

Time Played: Like an hour.
High Score: One mutant monster summoned
Beaten? Yes
Grade: The curse of the 3 strikes Playdate again. Not a terrible game. The writing is okayish at times. I liked the setups to some of the vignettes here. But it has big indie adventure game vibes, and not the good kind of indie adventure game either.
Favorite Part So Far: The fake meme about the wizard pussy hitting too good made me giggle, so that wins.

man I was hoping that one would be better

Based on your writeups I really thought you were enjoying it so the 3 ranking surprised me!