Current Events > What happened to Cleo?

(+) Yeah! (+)

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Sadly, I've seen this first hand. Little sister thought she found the love of her life, had 2 kids with him and then he lost interest in her and moved away. Her choice in men since then has been less than ideal. I can only imagine how much worse it gets for women who have more than 2 kids. I've seen a couple on dating apps that have 4+ children and at that point, it must get difficult.

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It was a big topic a few years back. It stuck out in my memory because there was a big split in who thought that was appropriate, given that as you noticed, most posts are about grievances she has with her husband.

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foreverzero212 posted...

It was a big topic a few years back. It stuck out in my memory because there was a big split in who thought that was appropriate, given that as you noticed, most posts are about grievances she has with her husband.

The topic I remember was her getting attention from one guy at a bar but not taking the phone number or initiating the flirting/interaction... CE was split over how she should feel (good versus guilty)

She, like many others, deserve better.

foreverzero212 posted...

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I mean...just being there is the bare minimum and a lot of guys out there don't even do that...sadly, Cleo's husband seems to be among them.

Only interacted with cleo several times, but she really is a great person. Hope she finds a real man thatll treat her and her child how they deserve to be

Ruvan22 posted...

The topic I remember was her getting attention from one guy at a bar but not taking the phone number or initiating the flirting/interaction... CE was split over how she should feel (good versus guilty)

Said she was attracted to him, enjoyed it, and thus briefly entertained it enough to get offered a number and an invitation out of the bar which she says she didn't follow up on. She didn't initiate, but initiating isn't expected sequencing even for interested single women at bars. Also commentary about not wearing a ring.

No one's a bad person for this specifically. But CE's so wildly reactionary towards the slightest hint of pseudo-cheating under any circumstance and would destroy a dude for this.

Ivynn posted...

I mean...just being there is the bare minimum and a lot of guys out there don't even do that...sadly, Cleo's husband seems to be among them.

I've worked at every level of elementary education the last 15 years and can assure you, society's expectations of a father are more than "ezpz nothing." Sadly a lot of parents, all genders included, can't do that either. Especially when we dive into what being there should mean.

hope she is doing well and takes care of what she needs do. she is a good poster and her presence is missed.

foreverzero212 posted...

Said she was attracted to him, enjoyed it, and thus briefly entertained it enough to get offered a number and an invitation out of the bar which she says she didn't follow up on. She didn't initiate, but initiating isn't expected sequencing even for interested single women at bars. Also commentary about not wearing a ring.

No one's a bad person for this specifically. But CE's so wildly reactionary towards the slightest hint of pseudo-cheating under any circumstance and would destroy a dude for this.

I don't remember the phone number bit (seems like something I *would* remember) but no way to be certain now I guess...

I *think* I agree with your "expected sequencing" description though "she went to a bar and flirted with guys" still carries a different image from "she went to a bar and a guy flirted with her", especially as reactionary CE can be (agree there).

Ruvan22 posted...

I don't remember the phone number bit (seems like something I *would* remember) but no way to be certain now I guess...

I *think* I agree with your "expected sequencing" description though "she went to a bar and flirted with guys" still carries a different image from "she went to a bar and a guy flirted with her", especially as reactionary CE can be (agree there).

Accepting a phone number isn't even always a bad thing in a vacuum. It's a safer/polite way to diffuse and escape a situation you're not actually going forward with.

I understand and agree with what you mean here about it carrying a different image. My bad being uncharitable with phrasing due to it being brushed aside while other minor offenses get lambasted.

But at the same time we can't be naive when realistically: If you're away from your spouse on a trip, you go to a bar, get approached by an attractive person and your answer isn't an immediate "sorry I'm married" but instead you bat around with the person and then post about how cool it was to the sweatiest group of 90s forum gamers on the internet... that's functionally going to a bar and flirting with dudes. And possibly entirely made up.

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Good thing my fiancee is already used to my childishness

@Cleo_II

Everyone's curious about your life and situation

Sexypwnstar posted...

Cleo_II

Everyone's curious about your life and situation

So I see that whole "concern about stirring up shit" act was bullshit.

DrizztLink posted...

So I see that whole "concern about stirring up shit" act was bullshit.

Mods are okay with it hence why this is still up

Im fine. Ive been so swamped with work and my kid that I barely have time for anything else. Including dealing with my marriage. Though we hope to start therapy soon. I dont know where some of these rumors come from. My husband has never cared that I post here or compared it to what hes done. I did go out to get drinks while on work trips but only one guy asked for my number. This was like 4-5 years ago maybe? I told my husband all of it and he thought it was funny so I dont know why that one poster keeps dredging it up and twisting it to make it more than it was. We arent against all flirting with the opposite sex. Its the lying and hiding that I take issue with. Ive never hid from my husband that I post here or anything else. Ive never cheated on him or spoke to someone romantically behind his back.

Ruvan22 posted...

The topic I remember was her getting attention from one guy at a bar but not taking the phone number or initiating the flirting/interaction... CE was split over how she should feel (good versus guilty)

This. It was so tame lmao. I was bad for liking the attention or something. Cant remember.

Cleo_II posted...

Im fine. Ive been so swamped with work and my kid that I barely have time for anything else. Including dealing with my marriage. Though we hope to start therapy soon. I dont know where some of these rumors come from. My husband has never cared that I post here or compared it to what hes done. I did go out to get drinks while on work trips but only one guy asked for my number. This was like 4-5 years ago maybe? I told my husband all of it and he thought it was funny so I dont know why that one poster keeps dredging it up and twisting it to make it more than it was. We arent against all flirting with the opposite sex. Its the lying and hiding that I take issue with. Ive never hid from my husband that I post here or anything else. Ive never cheated on him or spoke to someone romantically behind his back.

I'm glad that you're ok.

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No worries. Probably was someone else. My husband has never been the jealous type and hasnt ever cared that I post here.

Kamen_Rider_Blade posted...

I'm glad that you're ok.

Thanks.

Cleo_II posted...

Im fine. Ive been so swamped with work and my kid that I barely have time for anything else. Including dealing with my marriage. Though we hope to start therapy soon. I dont know where some of these rumors come from. My husband has never cared that I post here or compared it to what hes done. I did go out to get drinks while on work trips but only one guy asked for my number. This was like 4-5 years ago maybe? I told my husband all of it and he thought it was funny so I dont know why that one poster keeps dredging it up and twisting it to make it more than it was. We arent against all flirting with the opposite sex. Its the lying and hiding that I take issue with. Ive never hid from my husband that I post here or anything else. Ive never cheated on him or spoke to someone romantically behind his back.

Yeah, that's all well and good.... but where do you stand on the vegy controversy!

But for reals, glad everything seems to be... okish atm.

Thanks everyone. I genuinely appreciate the kindness. It hasnt been an easy few months.

Cleo_II posted...

Thanks everyone. I genuinely appreciate the kindness. It hasnt been an easy few months.

We're always here if you need us.

Cleo_II posted...

I dont know where some of these rumors come from.

This is why I try not to engage in these topics despite wanting to know you're doing well. So hard to keep track of what's reality when CEfolk go on a tear.

Hi Cleo! Miss you around here. Hope things get better soon!

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The tricky part is how many things are assumed with expectations and never verbally communicated beforehand. Having a child is among the most transformative things that can occur to someone. It's evidenced by how people with kids usually break off close ties with everyone they know who doesn't have kids; outside of immediate family.

It won't be enough to say, after the kid has already arrived, that you're 'doing too much' and 'need more help'. Those are both vague, and yet all too common in relationships that fall apart after kids enter the picture. It's also too easy to let emotions flare, lashing out and building resentment. If have the view that the other party is a 'deadbeat', it's going to show in your actions so there shouldn't be any surprise when the other party throws up their hands, says, "**** all of this" and leaves.

Far fewer people are suited to being parents than the number that actually have kids. Culture in the US doesn't help either, with the focus on individualism rather than multi-generational family structure. That's not to say that the latter is perfect, but it does provide an outlet for some of the stresses of having a young kid around.

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What if it's someone else's baby that smells weird after dumping ketchup on the floor?

I will say my husband has been a good partner and dad. My daughter and him have such an amazing bond. I dont ask him for help. He just gets things done and knows her schedule, etc. He actually gets annoyed if anyone asks if he helps me because he views it as a responsibility. I went out of town for the week last month and I didnt have to worry about a thing. I know some moms need to write extensive lists and make sure the house is stocked with food because their husbands are clueless. That hasnt been the case with us. We did have an issue years ago with unfair workloads but we worked through that.

One thing I think will help is that he just got a job offer that will be a really good move for him. It will also offer much better benefits and he will be able to get therapy (which we talked about today and he is 100% on board with doing). A lot of the reason why he confided in someone else was due to deep depression about his current job which was really toxic. But I told him he needs to work through therapy because thats not an excuse and I want reassurance that he will work on the root cause for why he would turn to someone else for some ego boost.

I know people are probably shaking their head at me for not divorcing. But there is a little 2 year old girl who adores her dad in the mix and he has been apologetic and open to working on himself. If it was physical cheating this would be a different story but it hasnt been. And he really is a great dad with her. The kind of dad I wish I had growing up. So I will at least try to work on things first.

Guess I'll post again since it's ongoing.

As a father in a somewhat rocky relationship I mentioned a long time ago that kids complicate things a lot and that therapy may be an option that works.

I was then called an idiot who doesn't understand anything, but hey

Common Cleo W