Current Events > Today marks one year since my first love passed away.

(+) Yeah! (+)

I spoke of her here as she was long distance, and lived with Smith-Magenis syndrome, so wanted to spread awareness while giving a positive perspective into LDR. I met her in the game animal crossing new horizons during covid, and after her passing i began documenting my grief by telling our 3 year romance story - my final birthday present to the first woman i ever loved.

I'd like to share it again in case anyone missed it on CE. Been told it touched so many as it's the most emotionally open i've ever been in my life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWU3BxVCKCs

I finally found the courage to go into her game island again to leave a stone by her home in tribute.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/7173a11a.jpg

It's thanks to Joanne that I am a better man than i was before, and I have even found another love, so continue to spread her message of never giving up hope for romance. It can come from the most unexpected place when you open your mind, and expand your horizons.

I replied to your original topic last year and I hope you're doing well! There have been two women in my life who I used to regularly play Animal Crossing with and we always had so much fun. Thanks for bringing awareness!

SomeLikeItHoth posted...

I replied to your original topic last year and I hope you're doing well! There have been two women in my life who I used to regularly play Animal Crossing with and we always had so much fun. Thanks for bringing awareness!

Thanks for the reply. I've been doing very well, and even talked with her family today - so nice to be recognized as one of their own.

With that, and the support of my current love i feel very blessed. Hope Joanne can see me now.

Bump

RIP to her

Thanks.

She went through alot, so hope she is at peace.

Rip

Youre a very strong person. Id crumble into madness so fast if anything ever happened to my ol lady :(

RIP. I'm glad you were able to be a bright spot in her life.

Lordgold666 posted...

Rip

Youre a very strong person. Id crumble into madness so fast if anything ever happened to my ol lady :(

I came...pretty damn close. It took me making that video to realize how much i made her final days instead of being bitter i lost my first love like that.

Bass posted...

RIP. I'm glad you were able to be a bright spot in her life.

The honor was all mine, so i'm glad too. No one should ever underestimate the difference you can make in someone's life.

Damn man. Sorry to hear that, hope she rests in peace.

Thank you for being so open about your life and love.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


SpiritSephiroth posted...

Damn man. Sorry to hear that, hope she rests in peace.

tripleh213

Thank you all very much.

KanWan posted...

God bless you, that was a wild ride of a whole hour.

You really loved her and it shows not just in the acts, but the way you speak of her and your time with her.. through hell or high water, as you say.

I think that phrase will stick with me the rest of my life haha

Just realizing now I didn't say the quote right, but whateves. lol. Due to the diagnosis i've become self aware of my tendency to ramble on, and though there's editing done, i'm so surprised that I captivated so many for that hour. Truly a magnum opus. Thanks for watching it!

In the starting stages of the relationship I was so emotional stunted, my reluctance to say things like "I love you" was compensated for with actions/showing it...Figured any idiot could say it over a webcam, but in LDR showing it means more. As I opened up it got easier to say it. Joanne was very patient/dedicated - the dutch tend to be competent at english, but Joanne damn near mastered it over the course of the relationship.

cjsdowg posted... Thank you for being so open about your life and love.

Thank YOU for watching/reading. :)

I remember your story from last year.

Very moving. Hope you're doing well.

Might I ask how she passed away.

My condolences

GiftedACIII posted...

My condolences

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]


Thank you both so much...if i had to, would do it all over again.

vycebrand2 posted...

Might I ask how she passed away.

@vycebrand2

Oops. Missed your message.

Due to the syndrome her health was always in a poor state, and health concerns made visiting me too dangerous for her due to how flying would affect her breathing. Still, she saw a sharp decline in her health, and was hospitalized multiple times for things like pneumonia late 22 going into early 23. Her body just failed on her.

KanWan posted...

I thought this was fantastic and hilarious lol

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/7/78ac432f.jpg

Was in rare form with Lyla. >_>

My condolences.

I was reading up on it. Didn't seem life threatening. I'm sorry if I Didn't understand.

Sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace.

vycebrand2 posted...

My condolences.

I was reading up on it. Didn't seem life threatening. I'm sorry if I Didn't understand.

SMS can cause many complications as a chromosome mutated, but while it may not have been that directly, it did play a role.

Her memory will live on

Memorial_Bench posted...

Her memory will live on

Yeah, last night me and the gf watched one of her fav movies - "bedazzled." Been years since I saw that one. brought some of her DVDs in her room in the netherlands home as keepsakes.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6192957c.jpg

At the top says "For Joanne." Must have been a gift for her. Her parents gave me blessing to take it, and other things to remember her by.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

Yeah, last night me and the gf watched one of her fav movies - "bedazzled." Been years since I saw that one. brought some of her DVDs in her room in the netherlands home as keepsakes.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/6/6192957c.jpg

At the top says "For Joanne." Must have been a gift for her. Her parents gave me blessing to take it, and other things to remember her by.

Wow, that looks very well managed! Looks like it's still in its shrink wrap haha

Damn son. I never would have guessed anyone could get that sort of experience out of a LDR. Made me completely reevaluate my feelings of them. Do you think youll ever find someone else in the future? You sound like you have a lot of love to give and it would be a shame not to be able to share that love.

Memorial_Bench posted...

Wow, that looks very well managed! Looks like it's still in its shrink wrap haha

Yeah. Wanted to know who the original gifter was, but parents weren't sure...Wonder if it was her BFF.

SHRlKE posted...

Damn son. I never would have guessed anyone could get that sort of experience out of a LDR. Made me completely reevaluate my feelings of them. Do you think youll ever find someone else in the future? You sound like you have a lot of love to give and it would be a shame not to be able to share that love.

Was very hopeful i could give a positive look into it - it gets a bad stigma, and rightfully so, but lots of people get stronger relationships out of it.

Been in a serious relationship with my neighbor for half a year now. I know enough not to compare the two, but she's like Joanne in eerie ways I couldn't just ignore - they were both the same age/born in 83. Like Joanne did...she's saying i'm the best man she's ever had. Never thought i'd be good at this.

Grateful to have the chance to use what Joanne gave me to make someone else smile as she did.

Yeah every relationship is different. You wont find someone like Joanna ever again. The good news is you can find people with new things thatll youll hopefully grow to love just as much.

SHRlKE posted...

Yeah every relationship is different. You wont find someone like Joanna ever again. The good news is you can find people with new things thatll youll hopefully grow to love just as much.

Don't expect to, and love my current gf as much, but i'd do another 30 years alone to meet Joanne again. She unlocked my potential which is something not everyone can do given where my mind was at.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

Yeah. Wanted to know who the original gifter was, but parents weren't sure...Wonder if it was her BFF.

Oh interesting, it was that long ago?

Considering it was a DVD, and she was nostalgic about it i'd imagine so. Quite cool of them to personally label it for her as i've never seen that before.

@vycebrand2

Shared the thread with her father, and he liked your signature.

The meaning behind it for me was just for that little while she was my light when darkness surrounded me. I did what was right because I cared for her. I was treated as the bad guy by many people before and during. I knew for her I was her light when you know your life is coming to a end soon. There's this thing about helping another human being because it's the right thing to do, not because there was something to gain from it. People need to learn this. No matter how bad it is reach out for help there are people who care about you. They will drop everything to help. Not everyone is selfish and seld-centered

vycebrand2 posted...

The meaning behind it for me was just for that little while she was my light when darkness surrounded me. I did what was right because I cared for her. I was treated as the bad guy by many people before and during. I knew for her I was her light when you know your life is coming to a end soon. There's this thing about helping another human being because it's the right thing to do, not because there was something to gain from it. People need to learn this. No matter how bad it is reach out for help there are people who care about you. They will drop everything to help. Not everyone is selfish and seld-centered

Can relate to that - i've grown to detest users, and till my dying day I will always try to help others. Struggle with the whole "giving tree" mentality though, so balance.

Making a difference in someone's life is a grand accomplishment as the world can be such a cruel place.

No one moves forward in life unless someone gives you their move.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

Considering it was a DVD, and she was nostalgic about it i'd imagine so. Quite cool of them to personally label it for her as i've never seen that before.

That's touching. I have that same feeling looking back at old discs from my childhood.

@vycebrand2

Showed him your elaboration, and her dad really loved that too.

Memorial_Bench posted...

That's touching. I have that same feeling looking back at old discs from my childhood.

God knows i wish i could have taken more from her place like her collection of "grey's anatomy", but happy to have gotten that dvd to keep given my emotional state walking around her place. Also, took video. All i wanted was just to sit in her room at that group home, and hold hands with her, but my time over there was so short in 2022 figured i'd do that next time i visited.

I had that month where I waited till all her affairs were put in order by the "government" and by her family. That was closure for me. I Did what I promised her. She said take anything you like. I said just 1 thing. A picture of her and her dad, taken about 20 years ago. None of the bad stuff that had effected her 2012-onwards. Healthy, Happy and with someone she never got much time to spend with, but loved each other dearly. Her father spent time in prison for armed robbery so never really got to spend her childhood and early adult years with her. He died the same way she did. She took care of him the same I did for her. I've yet to hang it.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

@vycebrand2

Showed him your elaboration, and her dad really loved that too.

God knows i wish i could have taken more from her place like her collection of "grey's anatomy", but happy to have gotten that dvd to keep given my emotional state walking around her place. Also, took video. All i wanted was just to sit in her room at that group home, and hold hands with her, but my time over there was so short in 2022 figured i'd do that next time i visited.

They'll still be there right?

Memorial_Bench posted...

They'll still be there right?

No, the parents soon had to clear her room for another person to move in there. As deep as my wounds go having her for 3 years - they had her for 39, so couldn't comprehend how hard that was.

They sadly forgot to take pictures of her room before clearing, so really glad I took that video of her room, and shared it with them over email. Made them happy when I was holding off on that out of fear of opening up wounds.

The group home made a tribute space just for her.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/38cc0e7c.jpg

Im sorry for your loss. Whats Smith-Magenis syndrome?

^ Thank you. Well as can be hoped.

Rotterdammerung posted...

Im sorry for your loss. Whats Smith-Magenis syndrome?

Think Down Syndrome, but instead of a chromosome missing, some of it deleted at a micro level as i understand it.

Nintendo_Porn posted...

No, the parents soon had to clear her room for another person to move in there. As deep as my wounds go having her for 3 years - they had her for 39, so couldn't comprehend how hard that was.

They sadly forgot to take pictures of her room before clearing, so really glad I took that video of her room, and shared it with them over email. Made them happy when I was holding off on that out of fear of opening up wounds.

The group home made a tribute space just for her.

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/forum/3/38cc0e7c.jpg

Where were the stuff cleared put?
And that's a beautiful picture!

Memorial_Bench posted...

Where were the stuff cleared put?
And that's a beautiful picture!

Yes, they did a wonderful job - the space she used to sit at to skype with me also got something special done there IIRC.

Well, I got some keepsakes like the DVDs/Switch/controller, and the rest spread among her family/donated among the group home/charity.

Excuse the double post.

Board 1061 - Sex and Sexuality was closed recently, but there were threads left there that hold sentimental value to me like my blog traveling to the Netherlands to meet her face to face in 22, and the thread about her passing where I started documenting my grief.

The Guys/Gals there were a big part of helping me through that, and really wish I could record/view those threads.

Very sorry to hear that

Thank you.

There was nothing "bad" in that thread, so wonder when the mods locked it that got deleted.