advice for a freeloader sibling? Warning: blogfaqs

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Mead 06/21/17 8:07:11 PM #1:	Seeing my brother for the first time in quite a while. Gotta talk to him about the fact that he refuses to support himself and just mooches off our mom for money. Him and his girlfriend have their own apartment together but neither of them work, they both fully depend on money from parents to pay all their bills. Neither is disabled or incapable of working in any way. He is well into his twenties now, he has had a few oddjobs but nothing lasting more than a couple months, he always has some excuse for why he needs to quit. I know my mom is to blame for supporting him for so long but she doesn't know what to do as she doesn't want him to be homeless. He moved across the country to be with this girl but I think they are bad for each other. They make excuses for each other about why they can't do things and I think they reinforce the laziness of the other. Her mom has said she won't support them much longer and that she can move back in with her fanily but that he is on his own, which I think is understandable. I've tried to tell my mom to give him a cutoff date so that he has to fend for himself. Like basically say in 2-3 months time, no more money. She is afraid to do that though because he really won't have anywhere to go if he doesn't listen. He can't move back home because our mom and her husband live in a community that doesn't allow residents under a certain age, and I'm not gonna let him live with my wife and I again. The last time we tried giving him a place to stay he refused to do anything but play video games. It was a struggle to get him to even fill out applications or help with light housework. My mom is pleading with me to try and get through to him since he looks up to me but I don't know what else to tell him. He has very lofty goals but no plan or drive to actually achieve them. I've been trying to tell him for years that he should do a short trade program or get a certification in something to get himself a stable job, and then once he figures out what he wants to do he will have the means to make it happen himself. The last time I told him that he said that he wanted to become a surgeon. This is despite the fact that he has never done well in school, and has no means to support his way through med school. I'm also frustrated with him on a personal level because our mom is getting older and needs to start saving for retirement but instead so much of her extra income is going towards supporting a NEET across the country. To be honest there is a little jealousy there as well about the fact that we were always so poor when I was growing up that I never had any help transitioning to adulthood from her but then he has gotten a free ride for so long. Based on how he has turned out though I guess I should be grateful that I didn't have that safety net there. So many people in our family have tried to give him support and advice and it always seems like he listens, but then he just goes back to doing nothing but play video games. I love my brother but I'm starting to fear he might just be a lost cause as far as becoming independent, and I'm afraid that once my mom finally does wise up and cut him off that he might just become homeless or something and I'll never hear from him again. I just don't know anymore. TL:DR my bro won't do nuffin --- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mead "I'm Mary Poppins ya'll!" <cite>Mead posted [p:881566318] in Anone have... [t:75487631]...</cite> <quote>Seeing my brother for the first time in quite a while. Gotta talk to him about the fact that he refuses to support himself and just mooches off our mom for money. Him and his girlfriend have their own apartment together but neither of them work, they both fully depend on money from parents to pay all their bills. Neither is disabled or incapable of working in any way. He is well into his twenties now, he has had a few oddjobs but nothing lasting more than a couple months, he always has some excuse for why he needs to quit. I know my mom is to blame for supporting him for so long but she doesn't know what to do as she doesn't want him to be homeless. He moved across the country to be with this girl but I think they are bad for each other. They make excuses for each other about why they can't do things and I think they reinforce the laziness of the other. Her mom has said she won't support them much longer and that she can move back in with her fanily but that he is on his own, which I think is understandable. I've tried to tell my mom to give him a cutoff date so that he has to fend for himself. Like basically say in 2-3 months time, no more money. She is afraid to do that though because he really won't have anywhere to go if he doesn't listen. He can't move back home because our mom and her husband live in a community that doesn't allow residents under a certain age, and I'm not gonna let him live with my wife and I again. The last time we tried giving him a place to stay he refused to do anything but play video games. It was a struggle to get him to even fill out applications or help with light housework. My mom is pleading with me to try and get through to him since he looks up to me but I don't know what else to tell him. He has very lofty goals but no plan or drive to actually achieve them. I've been trying to tell him for years that he should do a short trade program or get a certification in something to get himself a stable job, and then once he figures out what he wants to do he will have the means to make it happen himself. The last time I told him that he said that he wanted to become a surgeon. This is despite the fact that he has never done well in school, and has no means to support his way through med school. I'm also frustrated with him on a personal level because our mom is getting older and needs to start saving for retirement but instead so much of her extra income is going towards supporting a NEET across the country. To be honest there is a little jealousy there as well about the fact that we were always so poor when I was growing up that I never had any help transitioning to adulthood from her but then he has gotten a free ride for so long. Based on how he has turned out though I guess I should be grateful that I didn't have that safety net there. So many people in our family have tried to give him support and advice and it always seems like he listens, but then he just goes back to doing nothing but play video games. I love my brother but I'm starting to fear he might just be a lost cause as far as becoming independent, and I'm afraid that once my mom finally does wise up and cut him off that he might just become homeless or something and I'll never hear from him again. I just don't know anymore. TL:DR my bro won't do nuffin</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
FellWolf 06/21/17 8:09:53 PM #2:	Sounds like your mom is the one that needs help not you. She needs to cut him off. Does he even emotionally support her, she probably gets nothing out of him but requests for money. It will be tough but necessary. Are your parents loaded? Edit: he will never change until his support is removed. --- http://i.imgur.com/QzUHUGL.gif http://i.imgur.com/IJPGRfT.jpg WORK IT! ARF ARF ARF! <cite>FellWolf posted [p:881566460] in Anone have... [t:75487631]...</cite> <quote>Sounds like your mom is the one that needs help not you. She needs to cut him off. Does he even emotionally support her, she probably gets nothing out of him but requests for money. It will be tough but necessary. Are your parents loaded? Edit: he will never change until his support is removed.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mead 06/21/17 8:10:59 PM #3:	FellWolf posted... Are your parents loaded? Not at all. She is a nurse and her husband is a retired cop/now security guard. They both work a lot to get by. She is actually having to work out a payment plan with the IRS for taxes because she was claiming exempt to have enough money to support him. I agree she can't keep giving him free money, I have tried telling her as much. --- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mead "I'm Mary Poppins ya'll!" <cite>Mead posted [p:881566530] in Anone have... [t:75487631]...</cite> <quote><cite>FellWolf posted...</cite> <quote>Are your parents loaded?</quote> Not at all. She is a nurse and her husband is a retired cop/now security guard. They both work a lot to get by. She is actually having to work out a payment plan with the IRS for taxes because she was claiming exempt to have enough money to support him. I agree she can't keep giving him free money, I have tried telling her as much.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
FellWolf 06/21/17 8:11:33 PM #4:	Mead posted... FellWolf posted... Are your parents loaded? Not at all. She is a nurse and he is a retired cop/now security guard. They both work a lot to get by. More reason for them to stop supporting them, a lot more for them to save or spend on themselves. --- http://i.imgur.com/QzUHUGL.gif http://i.imgur.com/IJPGRfT.jpg WORK IT! ARF ARF ARF! <cite>FellWolf posted [p:881566555] in Anone have... [t:75487631]...</cite> <quote><cite>Mead posted...</cite> <quote><cite>FellWolf posted...</cite> <quote>Are your parents loaded?</quote> Not at all. She is a nurse and he is a retired cop/now security guard. They both work a lot to get by.</quote> More reason for them to stop supporting them, a lot more for them to save or spend on themselves.</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Poll of the Day > Anone have tips/advice for a freeloader sibling? Warning: blogfaqs (+) Yeah! (+)

Poll of the Day > Anone have tips/advice for a freeloader sibling? Warning: blogfaqs