Current Events > Your girlfriend gets you an Nintendo Switch OLED for Xmas but a tiger steals it

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UnfairRepresent 12/22/21 5:08:31 AM #1:	You're at the zoo with your girlfriend when she hands you your Christmas present. You start to open it and tear the wrapping just enough to see its an Nintendo Switch OLED with Pokemon Diamond, Pikmen and maybe more. She's about to say Merry Christmas when suddenly youre startled by a loud elephant trumpeting noisily somewhere behind you. In surprise you jerk forward and drop the present into the tiger enclosure. A tiger lunges forward and with the speed and agility of... Well a tiger ... grabs your present and runs off like a dog who found her way into the pizza box and is inheriting the cheesy goodness. Unsure of what to do you ask Zookeeper Joey for help who then looks at you like you've got slugs crawling out of your nostrils and says "What are you crazy!? That's a South China tiger! They're more endangered than a happy white Conservative Christian couple in a Hollywood movie. We're not risking her safety. You're just gonna have to get a new gameboy." The tiger is just lying there. Holding your Switch Oled and staring at you. https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/9/5/AAZiH8AACum7.jpg Inverse to boyfriend if that way inclined How do you react? What do you do? --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:961123371] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>You're at the zoo with your girlfriend when she hands you your Christmas present. You start to open it and tear the wrapping just enough to see its an Nintendo Switch OLED with Pokemon Diamond, Pikmen and maybe more. She's about to say Merry Christmas when suddenly youre startled by a loud elephant trumpeting noisily somewhere behind you. In surprise you jerk forward and drop the present into the tiger enclosure. A tiger lunges forward and with the speed and agility of... Well a tiger ... grabs your present and runs off like a dog who found her way into the pizza box and is inheriting the cheesy goodness. Unsure of what to do you ask Zookeeper Joey for help who then looks at you like you've got slugs crawling out of your nostrils and says "What are you crazy!? That's a South China tiger! They're more endangered than a happy white Conservative Christian couple in a Hollywood movie. We're not risking her safety. You're just gonna have to get a new gameboy." The tiger is just lying there. Holding your Switch Oled and staring at you. https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/1/9/5/AAZiH8AACum7.jpg Inverse to boyfriend if that way inclined How do you react? What do you do? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Naysaspace 12/22/21 5:54:55 AM #2:	pity post cuz u put in more-than-nominal effort into this i do nothing because i don't care --- #BladeGang <cite>Naysaspace posted [p:961123736] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>pity post cuz u put in more-than-nominal effort into this i do nothing because i don't care </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Zikten 12/22/21 5:59:08 AM #3:	I would challenge the tiger to a Smash duel <cite>Zikten posted [p:961123783] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>I would challenge the tiger to a Smash duel</quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
pegusus123456 12/22/21 6:00:17 AM #4:	I'd probably speak to that zookeeper's boss since a tiger chewing up a huge chunk of plastic is probably endangering it more than just taking it away from him. --- http://i.imgur.com/Er6TT.gif http://i.imgur.com/Er6TT.gif http://i.imgur.com/Er6TT.gif So? I deeded to some gay porn. It doesn't mean anything. - Patty_Fleur <cite>pegusus123456 posted [p:961123793] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>I'd probably speak to that zookeeper's boss since a tiger chewing up a huge chunk of plastic is probably endangering it more than just taking it away from him. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Mr_Karate_II 12/22/21 6:05:48 AM #5:	He can keep it, I ain't getting mauled by a tiger. --- Currently Playing: Dead by Daylight,Friday the 13th and Forza Horizon 5 <cite>Mr_Karate_II posted [p:961123826] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>He can keep it, I ain't getting mauled by a tiger. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
g0ldie 12/22/21 6:07:24 AM #6:	go to the store, buy some meat and laxatives, grind the laxatives (if they're in pill form) and rub it on the meat, and when the zookeeper is busy, throw the meat at the tiger, and wait. when it's too distracted with the shits, I make my move and retrieve my gift. --- https://imgur.com/mApEnf3 <cite>g0ldie posted [p:961123837] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>go to the store, buy some meat and laxatives, grind the laxatives (if they're in pill form) and rub it on the meat, and when the zookeeper is busy, throw the meat at the tiger, and wait. when it's too distracted with the shits, I make my move and retrieve my gift. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Nukazie 12/22/21 6:14:19 AM #7:	i bang the tiger --- Life is just a journey from the maternity ward to the crematorium. https://imgur.com/a/LEjr0RZ waifu courtesy of bnui_ransder <cite>Nukazie posted [p:961123892] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>i bang the tiger </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
UnfairRepresent 12/22/21 7:10:14 AM #8:	pegusus123456 posted... I'd probably speak to that zookeeper's boss Thanks Karen --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:961124360] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>pegusus123456 posted... </cite> <quote>I'd probably speak to that zookeeper's boss </quote>Thanks Karen </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
David1988 12/22/21 7:33:17 AM #9:	Thats a Royal Bengal tiger if Im not mistaken --- "Let's be honest...I'm everybody's type. I just gotta highlight the parts that appeal to her the most" - No_U_L7 <cite>David1988 posted [p:961124651] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>Thats a Royal Bengal tiger if Im not mistaken </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
FaceThePain 12/22/21 7:36:52 AM #10:	I consume Zookeeper Joey, becoming him. Then I use my new found powers to walk into the enclosure. I grab my gift, then get out before the tiger realizes I am not in fact, his once loveable pal, Zookeeper Joey. --- Who doesn't like a Canadian Muffin? <cite>FaceThePain posted [p:961124687] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>I consume Zookeeper Joey, becoming him. Then I use my new found powers to walk into the enclosure. I grab my gift, then get out before the tiger realizes I am not in fact, his once loveable pal, Zookeeper Joey. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Smiffwilm 12/22/21 8:00:58 AM #11:	If this happened... It isn't my Switch and it never was. It's his. --- My Mario Maker 2 ID is 6RG-5XK-JCG <cite>Smiffwilm posted [p:961124987] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>If this happened... It isn't my Switch and it never was. It's his. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
RiKuToTheMiGhtY 12/22/21 8:53:47 AM #12:	pegusus123456 posted... I'd probably speak to that zookeeper's boss since a tiger chewing up a huge chunk of plastic is probably endangering it more than just taking it away from him. This, zoo keeper Joey is a fucking idiot as plastics can get lodged in the tigers throat and it can choke to death. --- doa-plus.com - We Press Forward. . . By Pressing Back. <cite>RiKuToTheMiGhtY posted [p:961125611] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>pegusus123456 posted... </cite> <quote>I'd probably speak to that zookeeper's boss since a tiger chewing up a huge chunk of plastic is probably endangering it more than just taking it away from him.</quote>This, zoo keeper Joey is a fucking idiot as plastics can get lodged in the tigers throat and it can choke to death. </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
Were_Wyrm 12/22/21 8:59:40 AM #13:	Is it the tiger from Tiger Electronics? --- I was a God, Valeria. I found it...beneath me. - Dr. Doom https://i.imgur.com/0EJvC4l.jpg <cite>Were_Wyrm posted [p:961125684] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>Is it the tiger from Tiger Electronics? </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
UnfairRepresent 12/22/21 9:46:58 AM #14:	Were_Wyrm posted... Is it the tiger from Tiger Electronics? yes --- ^ Hey now that's completely unfair! http://i.imgur.com/yPw05Ob.png <cite>UnfairRepresent posted [p:961126451] in Your girlf... [t:79821379]...</cite> <quote>Were_Wyrm posted... </cite> <quote>Is it the tiger from Tiger Electronics?</quote>yes </quote> ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Current Events > Your girlfriend gets you an Nintendo Switch OLED for Xmas but a tiger steals it (+) Yeah! (+)

Current Events > Your girlfriend gets you an Nintendo Switch OLED for Xmas but a tiger steals it