Current Events > Jesus was besties with a prostitute

(+) Yeah! (+)

Yet supposed Christians think making pleasure sex punishable by death is what Jesus would want.

If Jesus was around in 2022, Republicans would have him executed

Think she gave him freebies?

Can Jesus turn fetuses into wine?

brotrrwinner posted...

Think she gave him freebies?

Isn't there a theory he was married to her? The Gospel of Mary (not his mom)

Did she have a dump truck ass tho?

Think it comes from the story of Onan

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/4/2/0/AAd-UUAADYaU.jpg

The best part is that Jesus is a straight descending link to Tamar.
The second best part is that Judah had a third son, that according to tradition would take over Tamar, but Judah thought that Tamar was cursed and didnt want to lose his last son as well.
To make a long story short, Tamar dressed up as a whore and tricked Judah to have sex with her, and she got pregnant.

Wel, yeah.

Tbf, pretty much everyone fails the part where only God can judge and place his hand on the sword. Democrats are just as judgey and malicious as Republicans. They just have a better goal that's way less self centered. At least, what's pitched. Maybe noy the actual goal of the higher ups. But I don't blame the people for those goals. A lot of them full out say they want people they disagree with to die. Not change their ways and become better people. But just die.

A doctor goes to see those who are sick.

ThePrinceFish posted...

A doctor goes to see those who are sick.

He also doesn't kill them.

Zikten posted...

If Jesus was around in 2022, Republicans would have him executed

deported and called a liberal

CADE FOSTER posted...

deported and called a liberal

Then Trump would tell us he was the gonna build The Wall for us.

ThePrinceFish posted...

A doctor goes to see those who are sick.

You and your fake Christian kind would probably be first to crucify Jesus if he actually came back

Jesus was besties with a prostitute

Figuratively speaking many of us are, we just don't realize it or want to acknowledge it.

ClockworkHare posted...

Figuratively speaking many of us are, we just don't realize it or want to acknowledge it.

you slut shaming boy

I am a slut. I have the credentials.

ClockworkHare posted...

I am a slut. I have the credentials.

carry on then

ClockworkHare posted...

Figuratively speaking many of us are, we just don't realize it or want to acknowledge it.

That's an early Roman Catholic slander to discredit Mary Magdalene since she used to have an incredibly high position in the early Church for a woman. The Orthodox and Eastern Church doesn't recognize that she was ever a prostitute.

Really old versions of the New Testament from the 2nd century say that she was the sister of Lazarus, and that she started following Jesus because he raised her brother from the dead. Later versions changed it so that her name was stricken from Lazarus's story.

BB mofo posted...

That's an early Roman Catholic slander to discredit Mary Magdalene since she used to have an incredibly high position in the early Church for a woman. The Orthodox and Eastern Church doesn't recognize that she was ever a prostitute.

Really old versions of the New Testament from the 2nd century say that she was the sister of Lazarus, and that she started following Jesus because he raised her brother from the dead. Later versions changed it so that her name was stricken from Lazarus's story.

That is actually unfortunate if true. Cause I think the story is better and actually makes Jesus look better if she was indeed a prostitute. I always thought the point was that Jesus didn't look down on anyone

She wasn't a prostitute, she was his wife. They had children together.
If he had not been married, that would have been seen as weird and written about. The fact that nothing was written means that his relationship was normal.
It wasn't until much later that biblical scholars ASSUMED that she was a prostitute, because fuck women.

Jesus' teachings would be at extreme odds with the "modern" Christian Right that's for sure.

Zikten posted...

That is actually unfortunate if true. Cause I think the story is better and actually makes Jesus look better if she was indeed a prostitute. I always thought the point was that Jesus didn't look down on anyone

True, this is one of those cases where the spin-off is better than the original story. It makes Jesus look way more progressive.

There are plenty of apocrypha gospels written by non Jews who bring their sensibilities into it. Sexual relationships between two men where one is the subordinate are common in Roman culture. As a result there are apocrypha gospels where Jesus has a sexual relationship with his nameless male disciple that is only known as "The Beloved Disciple."

The Church went to great lengths to destroy them all during the 4th century as heretical text. However, they've been found as wrappings or grave goods for Christian Egyptian mummies from the 2nd century.

Jesus walked with the down trodden of society and always gave them inspiration that they could do better and improve their conditions in Life as long as they kept hope and searched for The God within.

The only ones who he hated were those who were oppressors who had a spirit of evil within, those who knew the truth and used their knowledge of the truth and the ignorance/lack of knowledge of others as way to oppress the less fortunate. The 10% Blood Suckers of the Poor.

That is who the true identity of Satan is.

Prostitution and other vices such as these are not good (Not good for ones spirit and health and builds unhealthy relationships). However it is not as bad as those who make a living intentionally taking advantage of others. Those who are stuck in a life of prostitution need help more than anything, not condemnation

Rathinor posted...

You and your fake Christian kind would probably be first to crucify Jesus if he actually came back

They wouldn't crucify Jesus. That's too barbaric.

Firing squad.

Jesus was a cuck and I don't know why he's so revered.

Hornswoggled posted...

Jesus was a cuck and I don't know why he's so revered.

Edgy McEdgerson over here

Jesus called people to repent for their sins not celebrate them.

Jesus loved all people, not sure I get the point of the opening post.

hockeybub89 posted...

He also doesn't kill them.

Who says to kill prostitutes?

WorsCaseOntario posted...

Who says to kill prostitutes?

The GTA tips and tricks FAQ I read

Jesus was a lot of things that Christians either don't know about or ignore.

hockeybub89 posted...

Yet supposed Christians think making pleasure sex punishable by death is what Jesus would want.

She was able to stop once she found Christ.
so yeah to be more accurate ex-prostitutes

She was one way and now she is another

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl07TE6Wnp8