Current Events > You hear and read about hook-up and relationship apps destroying confidence.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Do you think this is common? Have you been badly hurt by these things?

I haven't ever used one of these, but I totally get why they could destroy the confidence of people.

only used one for about a month. Connected with a few girls despite not being in the country. Met three of them since I arrived and am now in a relationship with one.

It hasnt hurt my confidence.

Where did you hear that lol.

Yes, and yes.

I guess that statistically, making more approaches via an app than you would offline means you're likely to risk more rejections via an app than you'd experience offline, so there's a subjective and maybe misleading impression of a greater failure rate?

Vampire_Chicken posted...

I guess that statistically, making more approaches via an app than you would offline means you're likely to risk more rejections via an app than you'd experience offline, so there's a subjective and maybe misleading impression of a greater failure rate?

No. There are far more men on dating apps than women for some reason. Maybe because women don't have trouble getting dates in real life.

Yeah, I've heard that happens to guys and I can definitely see why. If anything, guys should probably start avoiding Tinder specifically, given how many guys are on there compared to women. Other apps aren't nearly as bad.

For example, this was posted on Reddit yesterday by a woman explaining how overwhelmed she was (this was after 24 hours. Yes, that is 969 likes in one day)

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/a/user_image/0/0/9/AAQgjdAAD0oZ.jpg

I've been mostly using Hinge (free) and eHarmony (paid) with pretty good results. I Also tried Facebook Dating, but the women there have been terrible at holding a good conversation. I bailed on like 6 matches there lol. But I've been on dates with 8 women overall and all but one have wanted a 2nd date. Rejection still hurts, but my confidence has not been destroyed.

TLDR: Online dating can work, but try things besides Tinder. Such as Hinge, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, OKCupid, etc.

I met my current girlfriend through a dating app, so it's done wonders for my confidence specifically. But as stated above, there's a big difference between Tinder or Hinge in my experience, and I would easily have gotten discouraged if the former was the only one I used.

"dating is a numbers game"
*gets rejected more times in 1 day than 100 humans pre-internet did in their whole lives combined*

I love the Hinge advantage

Yeah. Once went on three dates with three different girls in a week. Got rejected by all of them. Definitely shattered my confidence.

cant destroy it if it didnt exist in the first place

I can definitely see that. Dating apps are something I learned are just not for me lol. I like who I am a lot, but Im definitely weird and have my quirks that arent easy to advertise on apps. I dont consider myself super ugly (though past womens reactions to me asking them out make me wonder ) but Im definitely not attractive enough to get away with my quirks and weirdness also

I already had garbage confidence but after getting 3 matches in 5 years using Tinder, my confidence is less than nothing at this point...

random_man9119 posted...

I already had garbage confidence but after getting 3 matches in 5 years using Tinder, my confidence is less than nothing at this point...

Had it not occurred to you that in order to have so little success, maybe youre doing something wrong?

I've tried bumble and tinder to chat and make friends. Get a few matches here and there but conversations fall apart. I did find my abusive ex on Bumble and her about me was her rambling about how amazing she is and describing herself as a "one in a million woman" while using photos that were like 10 years old where she was still fat but less fat than she currently is.

Glob posted...

Had it not occurred to you that in order to have so little success, maybe youre doing something wrong?

Hard to not use a dating app wrong when you're ugly and boring...

Also I wouldn't call those matches successes since I never even messaged them because I didn't know how to and chickened out... So they (rightfully) unmatched with me...

I never had any issues.

Makes me feel like shit lol

I don't have anywhere to go with this stuff

they destroyed my confidence til i got hot, then they were an ego booster