Current Events > Is it bad that I feel just... done with dating apps?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Every time I open one I just feel worse. It's almost triggering at this point.

Not at all.

It can feel like a chore

i've been off the market since dating apps were first kicking off. never used one. i wouldn't know what to do if i had to lol.

I thought you were with someone. Sorry if that didn't work out.

Not at all bad. It's mostly aspiring escorts or hookers looking for fixes

they are a massive waste of time. if i go on tinder and swipe right on every single profile until i run out i may get maybe 2 matches and both will not be someone i like.

it's pretty much true that being in places you enjoy will introduce you to the best possible partners for you.

__aCEr__ posted...

I thought you were with someone. Sorry if that didn't work out.

Been just about a year to the day since we broke up.

It happens.

I have lots of potential tips depending on where the barriers are. But often people just get pissed at me.

I'm taking a break from them for a while. The lack of acknowledgement most of the time and ghosting the rest of the time were too psychologically painful.

MedeaLysistrata posted...

they are a massive waste of time. if i go on tinder and swipe right on every single profile until i run out i may get maybe 2 matches and both will not be someone i like.

because youre not supposed to swipe on every profile and thats probably why you get no matches.

Tinder lowers your visibility if you swipe just left or right on everyone.

I've never dated an app

try not having a boring profile my guy

refmon posted...

try not having a boring profile my guy

And don't show this topic to any girl lol

Its been proven that dating apps are worthless for the average person. Even if you are a person with a fair ammount of past relationships experience, it is rigged agaisnt you unless you are a noticeably good looking guy.

You are better off trying to meet new girls outside dating apps, you've done it in the past so you can be sure you can do it again

I met my wife on a dating app although I did have to go through more than a dozen crap dates to get there.

How old are you Cyric? I found that as Ive gotten older dating apps were producing better results.

SlamVook posted...

Its been proven that dating apps are worthless for the average person. Even if you are a person with a fair ammount of past relationships experience, it is rigged agaisnt you unless you are a noticeably good looking guy.

everything i can find on the success rates of online dating say most people have a positive experience and the only thing i can find negatively is women saying they are harrassed on it

It really can feel bad when it seems like you're putting effort out into a black hole. But don't take any of these things as a personal evaluation. These apps don't generally give enough time for people to get a sense of you as a person. It's only an impression of an impression. And once you realize that, you can maybe be more free with how you present yourself, or at least not take things to heart as much.

Basically, take 5-6 high quality, varied pictures of you doing interesting things, and things the people you're interested in do/like. Include a dog if you have one. Have a short, sweet, positive bio with something to spark conversation. And once you do that, you've done all you can do.

Some people just arent for the dating app world. From what I know of you on here, I feel like you're designed to meet women in a more organic way or at craziest having a friend fix you up.

SlamVook posted...

Its been proven that dating apps are worthless for the average person. Even if you are a person with a fair ammount of past relationships experience, it is rigged agaisnt you unless you are a noticeably good looking guy.

I don't think this is true. I know plenty of average looking guys who have had success

You are better off trying to meet new girls outside dating apps, you've done it in the past so you can be sure you can do it again

But I do agree with trying in-person as well, especially using Meetup, which is also good for friendships and socializing in general

I4NRulez posted...

everything i can find on the success rates of online dating say most people have a positive experience and the only thing i can find negatively is women saying they are harrassed on it

That's just one side of the coin, saying that, what do you expect from putting yourself out there on the internet to EVERYBODY.

A lot of guys reach that point, from what I've seen online. The main advice I'd give is to ditch Tinder if you're looking for a serious relationship. It's possible to find something meaningful on that app, but for most guys, the terrible male to female ratio is just a confidence destroyer.

Also, don't be that guy that just swipes right on everyone. Most of the apps punish that behavior now, rather than reward it. I get that guys feel like it's a waste to take the time to read profiles that don't end up matching with them, but it helps you in the long run. Spend the extra time to be picky.

When I started on Hinge, it was showing me a lot of women that were 100% not a good fit for me. But the more I swiped, the better it got at showing me women that actually interested me. Sure, there were still plenty that never matched with me, but I did get some good dates out of it (although ultimately, I met my girlfriend through a different app).

I'm pretty much there too and need to drop them again... Years of not getting matches has been pretty morale crushing...

How long have you been using them? I had been using them for somewhere around 5-7 years. My usage of them varied, sometimes I just took breaks, sometimes I tried hard but never got anywhere, and sometimes I did have a period where I'd get some dates and a couple of solid connections.

By the end I was getting burnt out on them too but I did end up meeting my now wife and mother of my kid on one. Maybe just take a break for a while?

WaterLink posted...

How long have you been using them?

On and off I started using them back in... 2012?

They are a massive time investment to find something worthwhile. The perseverance needed is tough so I feel you on that. Give it your best shot when you can. Breaks are good.

[LFAQs-redacted-quote]

@SHRIKE you gonna respond? If you are going to make up stories, at least be consistent

Ugh, won't tag

bsp77 posted...

@SHRIKE you gonna respond? If you are going to make up stories, at least be consistent

I literally made a topic recently saying I made the whole GF thing up. It was getting boring for me.

SHRlKE posted...

I literally made a topic recently saying I made the whole GF thing up. It was getting boring for me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifaoKZfQpdA

I think I'm going to use a matchmaking site myself.

I come across better in person and I'm not really into "dating" as I'd rather know both myself and the other person are investing in a potential relationship.

SHRlKE posted...

I literally made a topic recently saying I made the whole GF thing up. It was getting boring for me.

Why did you do that? Are you actually married?

When you respond to other's peoples issues, you seem like a good dude. So why make stuff up?

not really. they really were an awful chore

it might take you longer to find someone, but meeting someone authentically might yield a better relationship -- obviously you two will be more attracted to each other after meeting and interacting instead of just swiping

TaylorHeinicke posted...

obviously you two will be more attracted to each other after meeting and interacting instead of just swiping

Uh, you meet and interact after swiping. This comment doesn't make sense.

It is just another avenue to meet people. Plenty of people have awesome relationships who met through apps. Dating apps AND in-person have both been proven to work, but sometimes one works better than the other for certain people.

For what it's worth, I found my wife on tinder. We've been married for six years next month.

I also met someone who has stayed a good friend through bumble. So there's definitely connections that can be made.

I think I should clarify that it's not a matter of success or lack thereof. It's not a matter of "doing it right".

I've just literally got to the point where the moment I click on the app to open it I'm immediately set upon with a wave of anxiety and self-loathing. Like it's a conditioned response at this point.

Oh. Yeah. Delete it then. Meet folks organically.

hyperskate65 posted...

For what it's worth, I found my wife on tinder. We've been married for six years next month.

I also met someone who has stayed a good friend through bumble. So there's definitely connections that can be made.

me and my gf met on hinge and have been dating for like 3 years and we have a strong connection. Matching online doesnt change much unless you really want a "meet cute" story.

our relationship is the same as other relationships ive had.

hyperskate65 posted...

I also met someone who has stayed a good friend through bumble. So there's definitely connections that can be made.

Yes, my first date from a dating app was a woman from Bumble who has now been a really good friend for several years. We only dated / did the FwB thing for a bit, but decided we just wanted to be in each other's lives in a non-romantic way.

SHRlKE posted...

I literally made a topic recently saying I made the whole GF thing up. It was getting boring for me.

No! I loved how the story was developing!

CyricZ posted...

I think I should clarify that it's not a matter of success or lack thereof. It's not a matter of "doing it right".

I've just literally got to the point where the moment I click on the app to open it I'm immediately set upon with a wave of anxiety and self-loathing. Like it's a conditioned response at this point.

Well, yeah, get off it then, at least for a long while.

Do you use Meetup to expand your social circle? I know it works quite well, including starting relationships. While not a dating app, dating happens when people hang out enough.

CyricZ posted...

I think I should clarify that it's not a matter of success or lack thereof. It's not a matter of "doing it right".

I've just literally got to the point where the moment I click on the app to open it I'm immediately set upon with a wave of anxiety and self-loathing. Like it's a conditioned response at this point.

That's surprising. You seem pretty sociable, I wouldn't think you'd have anxiety or self loathing (not judging you).

Have you tried the meetup route like bsp? You can make new friends groups and form a relationship organically

I've been at that point for quite a while. Last time I used one was Bumble in early 2020, right as the pandemic was kicking into full effect. I chatted with one person on there and called it quits.

That was also my first and only attempt for about 3 years prior to that too. It just feels like a waste of time to even attempt anything any more.

You could try playing a video game to take your mind off of it. There's a new Harry Potter game coming out soon, people seem to think it looks pretty good. Maybe that would be worth buying?

bsp77 posted...

Why did you do that? Are you actually married?

When you respond to other's peoples issues, you seem like a good dude. So why make stuff up?

The first one I made for shits and giggles but I told my wife and she found it funny and started giving me ideas. I might continue them in the future if I get bored I dunno but yeah Im usually caring about other peoples issues more than my own tbh.

One of my friends recommended me Coffee meets Bagels because there's a lot of asian chicks there >_> Is that true?