Current Events > Found out my father is remarried and has 4 children

(+) Yeah! (+)

So I blocked his number after he tried to use my dying grandmother to confront me for not talking to him anymore.

I now found out by complete happenstance, through a news article, that he lives in bumfuck nowhere Maryland with "his wife and their 4 kids"

He never mentioned this once in any of the long texts he sent me over the years. I'm 90% certain he didn't father any of these children, but what the fuck man?

Yeah, id resume blocking him and move on with your life. Dont even give him your mental energy or spare a single thought. Erase him from existence.

Is he a popular guy that he's featured in a news article?

Whatd he do that got him in the news?

AlCalavicci posted...

Is he a popular guy that he's featured in a news article?

Sounds like it was the grandmothers obituary.

EmilyTheCEman posted...

Sounds like it was the grandmothers obituary.

Ah, totally missed that. My mistake.

Sorry for your loss, TC

It was not my grandmother's obituary..yet. I checked. I occasionally Google my name for giggles and one of the first results was a news article of him being the first fire marshal or something in some town.

I have next to zero online presence, by the way. An almost completely invisible person to the public.

I mean do what you want but I do not advocate for not communicating with relatives unless they've done something heinous to you, which OP has no context for.

Billyionaire posted...

I mean do what you want but I do not advocate for not communicating with relatives unless they've done something heinous to you, which OP has no context for.

He did something heinous to TCs whole family.

I blocked my father as well, for other reasons. I never regretted it.

gu-gohan posted...

I blocked my father as well, for other reasons. I never regretted it.

This.

I get why so many have the "But they're family!" mindset, but when someone is actively making your life miserable and constantly causing problems for you, it's ok to cut them off, even if they're "family"

I haven't considered my dad to be family in over a decade. Frankly, my life has been so much calmer, less stressful and less traumatic since I cut him out of my life.

Haven't spoken to my "mother" in a a couple years now and I'm happy for it. Don't be afraid to cut out toxic people just because they're family.

Billyionaire posted...

I mean do what you want but I do not advocate for not communicating with relatives unless they've done something heinous to you, which OP has no context for.

He walked on my family, blamed it on my mom being emotionally abusive or some shit and pretty much left us up shit creek without a paddle financially.

My brother and I were amicable to him for a couple years and occasionally went out with him, but the way he basically ignored my sister for hating him and continued to blame the divorce on my mom was too much. He also kinda treated me like I had no agency after I was diagnosed with autism, telling me not to let my mom and my sister talk me out of seeing him. He was spinning this whole distorted reality.

This was the same guy who treated me like a worthless pile of shit and barely spoke to me for a year when I flunked out of college due to anxiety and depression, but then we knew I was autistic and suddenly I was treated like a fucking child.

ProboBum posted...

Don't be afraid to cut out toxic people just because they're family.

Did the same with my dad. The amount of people over the years that have told me "but he's your dad! You'll end up regretting it!" is baffling. I don't get why people allow others in their lives that treat them and their loved ones like shit just on the basis of sharing some DNA. Twenty years later and I still don't regret a thing.

Billyionaire posted...

I mean do what you want but I do not advocate for not communicating with relatives unless they've done something heinous to you, which OP has no context for.

You're not required to maintain a relationship with your relatives just because they're your relatives.

Billyionaire posted...

I mean do what you want but I do not advocate for not communicating with relatives unless they've done something heinous to you, which OP has no context for.

All family are is an involuntary obligation. I would only choose very few of them to be in my life.

Solar_Crimson posted...

You're not required to maintain a relationship with your relatives just because they're your relatives.

This is correct. Pretty much that entire side of my family disappeared after the divorce because of "blood" like they're a motherfucking royal family.

Family is just people you share more DNA with. They don't inherently deserve your respect regardless of what they do.