Board 8 > Xena: Warrior Princess -- A watch through topic (SPOILERS)

(+) Yeah! (+)

Just finished Battlestar Galactica and after seeing Lucy Lawless as Diana I thought “Hey, I’ve never watched Xena. Maybe I should give it a shot.” A couple people mentioned some interest in a watch through topic, so I figured I’d go for it.

Looks like almost all of the episodes are ~45 minutes. As a little disclaimer I’ll say this topic probably won’t move very fast. It’ll most likely be 1 episode a day during the week, and possibly a few more on the weekends. So don’t expect me to get through 6 seasons in a week or anything. BSG was 4 seasons and I think that took me 2-3 months. Still, if people are willing to stick with me I’ll keep going.

Another thing, I’m kinda a quality snob and a lot of times when I try to watch older shows I just can’t get into them because the effects/cinematography/whatever are so poor. I tried to watch Buffy a while back and just kinda quit because it was so lame. Xena might preserver through this pit fall because the characters aren’t teenagers though, which was another reason why I ultimately abandoned Buffy. Xena premiered in 1995, which means I was… 6 years old at the time. Kinda funny to think about. Anyway…

I hear every time someone watches Xena for the first time, a lesbian angel gets her wings.
Are you ready? Here we go.

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Tag

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SuperNiceDog won the Guru contest super nicely!

Oooh, nice. Ted freakin Raimi up in this.

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oh man i loved xena as a kid.

then the ending happened.
i'm still not sure what the goddamn hell happened to that ending.

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The King Wang.
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ALALALALLALALALLALALLALALALALALLALALALALALLALALALALAALLALALLALA *tosses magic ring of doom*

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From: Whiskey_Nick | #005
ALALALALLALALALLALALLALALALALALLALALALALALLALALALALAALLALALLALA *tosses magic ring of doom*

This might be my favorite post of all time.

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Tag

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ph33r teh masta~!

Season 1, Episode 1: Sins of the Past
Original Air Date: September 4, 1995

She’d never let a man get close enough to do her.

Summary: We meet Xena and she kicks copious amounts of ass and then we meet Gabrielle and she’s all witty and stuff and then they team up and lay the smack down and eat a cake made out of sunshine and rainbows and walk off into the sunrise.

Well the first thing I notice of course is the amazing cleavage I’m going to be privy to for, I’d assume, the entire series. Cleavage is a great thing, makes the world hurt a little bit less. So the show is already off on the right foot. The camp is amped up to 10, but so far in a good way. The show is making me laugh and roll my eyes, but not in a “oh god I hate this” way. I didn’t know Gabrielle was introduced so early, so that sort of surprised me. I thought she was introduced later in the series or something. I can tell LL is suppressing her amazing New Zealander accent, which makes me a sad, sad Crim. Gabrielle is kinda hilarious. I had no idea this is what her character was like.
Xena’s wig makes me sad, I try to block it out of my mind as much as possible. And uhh, I’m pretty sure I’m hearing some Survivor music cues up in here. Weird.

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

Season 1, Episode 2: Chariots of War
Original Air Date: September 11, 1995

I’ve lost my chakram!
Is that suppose to be funny?

Summary: Xena gets arrowed and Gabrielle attempts to get her freak on with the enemy plus some creeper tries to turn Xena into his dead ass wife but Xena breaks some skulls and there is peace in the land.

Man that war cry is so lol. On the other hand, I bet ol’ LL could do some other impressive things with that tongue of hers. God Darrius, what a mook. I hope he goes away or dies soon. Stop making Xena wear ugly blue dead girl dresses. It’s super creepy how you’re trying to turn Xena into your wife. You are a creep. HOLY F*** BURSTING THROUGH THE WINDOW ACTION.

I love how Gabrielle is always like oh hai xena been waiting for you girlfrien ^o^ ^_^ ^o^
And Xena’s just all like …*smirk*

All these bad guys look like they’re wearing a s*** load of makeup. These kids are terrible. They are literally acting like Xena is their mother after knowing her for approximately one day. This is the biggest family of creepers I’ve ever seen ever. I’m thoroughly enjoying this camp-fest so far.

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

you should add rankings for each episode

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ph33r teh masta~!

Hell yeah Xena

Taggin dis even though I probably won't remember most of the early episodes well.

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No problem!
This is a cute and pop genocide of love!

i'm pretty sure everyone who saw the show can do that cry.
and practiced it.

daily.

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The King Wang.
Listen up Urinal Cake. I already have something that tells me if I'm too drunk when I pee on it: My friends. - Colbert.

From: Pokalicious | #010
you should add rankings for each episode

That's a good idea, I think I'll do that.

Ranking Thus Far:
Sins of the Past
Chariots of War

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

Taggage.

Fun series, though it does get really weird at times.

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http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/8-gamefaqs-contests/61035294 - My MST3K Watchthrough topic.

Tagging this.

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What did you think of BSG?

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"Later..." <Toonami> <4/1/2012> <Never Forget> ~SCP~
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From: Jeff Zero | #016
What did you think of BSG?

Some slight BSG spoilers:

I liked it, I liked it.
I was expecting to be enamored with Starbuck going in, but honestly she kind of annoyed me most of the time. I also didn't care much for Lee either. They actually might be my two least favorite characters in the series.
Admiral Adama has made it into the elite list of male characters that would make my top 50 favorites, he was amazing 100% of the time. Edward James Olmos is a badass. Generally I liked the older characters better than the younger characters, and the Cylons better than the humans. Grace Park is a super fox. I wish Seelix had gotten more screen time because she was pretty awesome. I liked the ending and thought it was a pretty good resolution, with everyone finally being able to settle down. I try not to think too hard about what Starbuck/Gaius/the 6 actually were.

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

*BSG Spoilers*





That's the best way to enjoy the ending, yeah, don't think too hard on that stuff. It's a copout, admittedly, but the show on the whole is good enough to get away with it. I do wish "Deadlock" (4x16) never existed and that entire subplot never happened though. The baby storyline was just... the epitome of BSG messing up as it went along on occasion, because it literally went nowhere despite the final season foreshadowing it like it'd matter. >_>;

I would have liked the whole final arc to have been a bit tighter, just going on how serialized the show was in general. For comparison's sake, the predecessor space opera by largely the same creative team -- Star Trek: Deep Space Nine -- had basically a thirteen-part series finale... and that was a Trek series! (Although it was basically the exception to the episodic-style Trek rule, so yeah.) I was just sort of expecting BSG would certainly follow suit.

Not that such a lofty goal is always for the best, since things can drag, and I did like "Daybreak" a good bit myself. So yeah. Glad you enjoyed it. :)

Character-wise, Adama and Roslin forever IMO. Such a good couple of characters and I don't tend to love the heck outta romance subplots but goddamn, I'm sorry, if you weren't at least remotely moved by their embrace at the end of 4x09 "The Hub" (yes, I'm a big fan lulz) then something is wrong with you. Or something.

I liked Kara and Lee but they were pretty weak at times, yeah. That whole love triangle in the third season is kind of irritating to me. Or rather, love square? With Anders and Dee. And Dee... she and Cally and Ellen bothered me a good bit. Definitely the weak links for me.

Baltar, Six, Sharon and Boomer (holy f*** at Tricia Helfer and Grace Park managing to act all those roles) and Sam were all A-tier characters for me too.

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"Later..." <Toonami> <4/1/2012> <Never Forget> ~SCP~
http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png

...damn, I wrote all that in a couple of minutes and could have gone on. Ah, BSG.

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"Later..." <Toonami> <4/1/2012> <Never Forget> ~SCP~
http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png

BSG Spoilers

Yes, Adama/Roslin for life. Their romantic subplot was light years better than the whole love square that you were talking about. I never really felt like Lee loved D, and I never really felt like Kara loved Lee. It always just seemed like Lee was a good booty call for her, but ultimately she was really in love with Anders. Anders was definitely a top tier characters as well. I agree so much that Ellen and Cally were weak links. Did not like their characters at all. And Cally is one strange looking girl. I liked D a bit more, but I can see where you're coming from on that.
And yeah, absolutely props to TH and GP. They did a great job of giving distinct personalities to essentially copies of the same character.

I didn't much care for the Hera subplot, but I generally don't like things involving children. It was alright though, didn't make me hate it or anything. I remember being kind of confused about what they were doing with the ending though. I was on the fifth to last episode and NOTHING seemed to be wrapping up. I was like, "Um... you guys are kinda running out of time. Where are you going with this?" But yeah, as long as you don't dwell on the details the ending is pretty good.

I'm definitely glad I watched it. It was entertaining and had some really, really great moments.

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

BSG Spoilers Once More With Feeling


Yeah, really. That close to the end and it's like 'hrm, uh, guys? Guys? You said yourselves you're thrilled to end the series on your terms, so uh, where are those terms...?' But they did alright in the end.

And yeah, not big on children in shows either. /shrug Didn't really mind the Hera thing though, but it wasn't great.

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"Later..." <Toonami> <4/1/2012> <Never Forget> ~SCP~
http://img.imgcake.com/Jeffzeropngus.png

“Hey, I’ve never watched Xena. Maybe I should give it a shot.”

excellent decision. Was one of my favorite shows for many years

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I never said anything about banging her. Also, I wouldn't bang her. -LusterSoldier (on a fat pageant mom whose daughter chugs Mt. Dew)

Season 1, Episode 3: Dreamworker
Original Air Date: September 18, 1995

It’s not like your breasts aren’t dangerous enough.

Summary: Gabrielle wants to make people bleed with her boobies but gets captured by a cult dedicated to Morpheus so Xena enters the Matrix and beats the snot out of them to get her back.

Hahaha, Gabrielle trying to do the war cry. I was wondering when she’d try to get in on the action. Oh my god, this show is cracking me up. Xena literally commenting on Gab’s boob size, *dagger falls out* oh, wonder what else is in there tee hee. I don’t know Gabrielle, maybe Xena should reach her hand in there and find out. Aaaaand now we’re oiling up. This is only episode 3 Xena, save some for the rest of the series!

Lose your blood innocents? That sounds dirty as hell. I mean, I know it’s about Gabrielle killing someone and all but… blood innocents? Also, why is Gab so geeked to start slaughtering people anyway? She’s like jacked to stab someone. I dunno who this guy in the blue robe is, but he’s the first person I’ve really believed as a villain. There doesn’t seem to but much over arching story going on yet aside from “Xena used to go around slaughtering everyone but now she only goes around slaughtering bad guys.” Every episode seems to pretty much be contained within itself so far. I’m guessing they’re just setting up the world/characters though.

Ranking
Dreamworker
Sins of the Past
Chariots of War

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

Might I also suggest adding the season and episode to the rankings, so when you're in later seasons don't forget when it took place. Like:

S1E3 Dreamworker
S1E1 Sins of the Past
S1E2 Chariots of War

Or if seasons have more than 10 episodes, do it like S1E03. Just a thought.

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ph33r teh masta~!

Season 1, Episode 4: Cradle of Hope
Original Air Date: September 25, 1995

Surrender now and I’ll spare your life.
I was about to say the same to you.

Summary: Xena and Gab are walking through the forest when they find a baby and then they walk some more and find a chick named Pandora who isn’t THE Pandora but her granddaughter and then there’s some fighting over Pandora’s box (heh heh) and she takes the baby and hooks up with the king and also Xena murders people.

Hmm… baby stuff baby stuff baby stuff… HOLY S*** DID XENA LITERALLY JUST BREATH FIRE ON SOME DUDE? I think we need an instant replay on that one.

Noice.

I have to say LL can handle that sword pretty good. I like all the flashy twirling and things. But what’s with this silly “I’m cutting off the blood to your brain” move? This is the second time in four episodes… it’s kinda dumb so I hope they don’t over use it.

Hahaha, oh this episode and its baby throwing hijinx. I’m pretty sure they tossed this baby through the air at least 5 or 6 times. And what the hell Gabrielle? I think I’d be a little more careful around a box containing the hope of humanity. Sheesh!
The lesbian undertones of this show are already off the charts. It’s almost ridiculous. Like, oh hey, I saved your kingdom and the only thing I want in return? Name the baby after my… “friend.” Yeah ok Xena. You’re not fooling anyone.

Ranking
S1E03 Dreamworker
S1E04 Cradle of Hope
S1E01 Sins of the Past
S1E02 Chariots of War

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

But what’s with this silly “I’m cutting off the blood to your brain” move? This is the second time in four episodes… it’s kinda dumb so I hope they don’t over use it.


<____<;

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The King Wang.
Listen up Urinal Cake. I already have something that tells me if I'm too drunk when I pee on it: My friends. - Colbert.

Cutting the bloodflow to the brain is the best deadly move in any media what are you talking about

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taggin dis

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Season 1, Episode 5: The Path Not Taken
Original Air Date: October 2, 1995

You got something to say to me?
I got something to say about your mother!

Summary: Some guy’s fiancé gets abducted and there’s some kind of a feud and then this arms dealer wants a butt load of money but Xena’s like b**** please and some people die and everything is coo’.

More fire breathing and it never gets old. Whoa, did LL just lift her leg over her head and kick that dude in the face from behind? Now this is my kinda show. Awe, Gabrielle is all concerned for Xena, going into the den of thieves like that. How adorable. To be honest though I’ll be glad when the plot isn’t just “random village #34 has random problem #98 and Xena goes off to solve it while Gabrielle stays behind and waits.” Still, not gonna complain too much.

So Xena talks a girl down from a ledge, she really does have a way with women. Man, how does she even throw that chakram with no handle or anything? Uh oh, Xena’s caught canoodling with some weapons. Oh but it’s ok, this guy wants to bang her so he doesn’t turn her in. And then they make out but Xena totally half asses it because you know the only thing on her mind is that little trick Gabrielle. Who has lol been captured. The truth hurts huh Marcus, guess you’re not gonna be hanging out with Xena much anymore. Oh. Oh you really won’t be hanging out with Xena anymore. Or anyone. Welp.

Usually brown eyes are my favorite, but dayum does Lucy Lawless have some gorgeous baby blues. They're like ice.

Ranking
S1E05 The Path Not Taken
S1E03 Dreamworker
S1E04 Cradle of Hope
S1E01 Sins of the Past
S1E02 Chariots of War

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

Wanglicious posted...
But what’s with this silly “I’m cutting off the blood to your brain” move? This is the second time in four episodes… it’s kinda dumb so I hope they don’t over use it.


<____<;

XD I was just about to post shifty eyes too

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I never said anything about banging her. Also, I wouldn't bang her. -LusterSoldier (on a fat pageant mom whose daughter chugs Mt. Dew)

-___-

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

*breaths fire on topic*

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

Tag!

Man, I've been watching for this topic and I'm still late.

From: Wanglicious | #004
oh man i loved xena as a kid.

then the ending happened.
i'm still not sure what the goddamn hell happened to that ending.

There is a reason fans typically pretend it never happened.

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"Hope is allowed to be stupid, unwise, and naive." ~Sir Chris

Season 1, Episode 6: The Reckoning
Original Air Date: October 16, 1995

They may explode.

Summary: The gal pals are riding through the woods when Xena happens upon a man in a black hood slaughtering a bunch of dudes and holy crap he turns out to be Aries and these villagers are pretty pissed and blame Xena for wasting their kin folk but Xena pulls some s*** and the dead villagers are alive again yay.

Come on camera, pan down! Pan down! Augh… wasted opportunities. Aww, Gabrielle, how sweet. Throwing yourself in harm’s way just to protect Xena. Xena calls it dumb I call it devoted, lighten up LL! Haha, “best friends,” mmmyes. Sure Gabrielle. And I love how when Gab is like “you’d have done the same for me,” Xena is like “Yeah duh.” Aries you c***y bastard, erasing your footprints like that. Oh snap Gabrielle is one smooth talker, she’s pretty much f****ing these villagers up the ass right now. Of course they don’t listen to reason. Why does everyone on this show have a bizarre accent? I know LL is trying to cover hers up, but what’s everyone else’s excuse?
Holy crap, XENA SMASH. Home girl just showed that door the business end of a warrior princess. Oh man, now you’re smacking up Gabrielle? Get out Gab! It’s not a healthy relationship!

Lol. *heartfelt speech*
…
*villagers deadpan “yay”*
Oh the acting on this show sometimes.

And FINALLY we get some semblance of a story line with Aries in the picture.

Ranking
S1E06 The Reckoning
S1E05 The Path Not Taken
S1E03 Dreamworker
S1E04 Cradle of Hope
S1E01 Sins of the Past
S1E02 Chariots of War

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

Season 1, Episode 7: The Titans
Original Air Date: October 30, 1995

Summary: Gabrielle awakens the Titans who are divided about whether or not to kill all humans, Xena saves the day and Gabrielle tries to prove herself. Xena tells her she doesn’t have to prove herself. Also Gab almost loses her V-Card to one funky looking cross eyed dude.

It's almost like they're not even trying to be straight.

Ranking
S1E06 The Reckoning
S1E05 The Path Not Taken
S1E07 The Titans
S1E03 Dreamworker
S1E04 Cradle of Hope
S1E01 Sins of the Past
S1E02 Chariots of War

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

This shows lesbian subtext has a tendency to not be so sub.

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"Hope is allowed to be stupid, unwise, and naive." ~Sir Chris

Ares >_>

(assuming we're talking about the same dude)

he's actually pretty cool in the series (both Xena and Hercules)

Also love your perspective on things. When I watched Xena as it aired as a kid, I missed a lot of lesbian references, and those that I caught were basically "too good be true and therefore possibly just my imagination >_>" but 15 years later, here you are with write ups that make me re-appreciate a show I haven't seen in a long time.

Actually recently saw Gaby's actress in a really s***ty low budget horrible joke of a movie about Moby Dick from a few years ago and I pointed her out (still lookin good btw) and when I said "Xena's sidekick," all of my co-workers (younger than me and probably little kids during Xena's airing) knew exactly who she was and said s*** like "I knew I recognized her from somewhere!"

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I never said anything about banging her. Also, I wouldn't bang her. -LusterSoldier (on a fat pageant mom whose daughter chugs Mt. Dew)

From: ImTheMacheteGuy | #037
Ares >_>

Derp -__-

Yeah I'm having a really good time watching the series. I mean, it's sooooo campy, but that's part of the charm. And Xena kicking ass is actually really cool. Plus the lesbian subtext is literally off the charts. I mean, I knew it was there, but I had no clue how freaking blatant it was. Like I said, it's like they're not even trying to be straight, or even ambiguous!
Gab is good looking, but there's something about her face that's kinda odd to me.

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http://img.imgcake.com/crimjpgpe.jpg Mo' buildings mo' problems
ocean kinda grew on me like a flesh eating ...fungus. -BIGPUN9999

Yeah I knew the lesbian stuff was there when I first watched the show because my sister was a Xena/Gaby shipper, but man when I rewatched it years later that was when I realized how horribly blatent it was.

Like even the opening video has lesbian undertones. "the passion" is said over a shot of Xena approaching a woman in at least one season.

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