Board 8 > ATTN: people who wipe while sitting

(+) Yeah! (+)

From: azuarc | #105
So some interesting updates.

First, I tried to wipe sitting down yesterday to see how it would work. I ended up with wet toilet paper going through my ass. (Don't reply yet, I'll address that.)

Second, by some weird fluke, my friends went out to dinner last night and this exact topic came up at the table without me being the one to bring it up. One of the guys there was an outspoken sitter and tried to defend sitting very vigorously (and belittled me for not sitting far better than any of you.) I got him to explain his technique to me, particularly his toilet paper usage itself. Apparently he wraps his toilet paper around his hand? I felt like asking him how effective that was considering he's notorious for using like half a roll of toilet paper when he comes over to our place.

Anyway, as a stander, I run the toilet paper through me in the lengthwise direction. Thus, I am making use of the full surface area of the TP (well the one side of it anyway) and don't have to "rewrap" my hand eighteen times due to effectively using like two sheets out of the eight or so it takes to cover your hand. However, the natural consequence of this is that if I try to use my method while sitting, the end of the toilet paper falls into the toilet water before I can use it. I'm sure bidets are lovely, but soggy toilet paper? Do not want.

From: azuarc | #105
So some interesting updates.

First, I tried to wipe sitting down yesterday to see how it would work. I ended up with wet toilet paper going through my ass. (Don't reply yet, I'll address that.)

Second, by some weird fluke, my friends went out to dinner last night and this exact topic came up at the table without me being the one to bring it up. One of the guys there was an outspoken sitter and tried to defend sitting very vigorously (and belittled me for not sitting far better than any of you.) I got him to explain his technique to me, particularly his toilet paper usage itself. Apparently he wraps his toilet paper around his hand? I felt like asking him how effective that was considering he's notorious for using like half a roll of toilet paper when he comes over to our place.

Anyway, as a stander, I run the toilet paper through me in the lengthwise direction. Thus, I am making use of the full surface area of the TP (well the one side of it anyway) and don't have to "rewrap" my hand eighteen times due to effectively using like two sheets out of the eight or so it takes to cover your hand. However, the natural consequence of this is that if I try to use my method while sitting, the end of the toilet paper falls into the toilet water before I can use it. I'm sure bidets are lovely, but soggy toilet paper? Do not want.

From: MRNlCEWATCH | #112
How f***ing uncoordinated are you people that can't wipe while sitting? Jesus f***ing Christ did you all ever play sports or anything?

From: azuarc | #018
People wipe sitting down? That's even possible? What do you do -- reach through your crotch?

As for width of the aperture, it's really not that hard to "pucker" standing up for purposes of wiping.

From: baron von toast | #034
Do sitters check the paper for fecal matter as they reach the end of the procedure or do they just drop it straight into the toilet and hope that they're not leaving flecks of human waste in their tush.

From: azuarc | #109
ok, so imagine it this way: You take a stripe of toilet paper anywhere from 4-6 pieces long. You hold it behind your butt like you have a tail, (well, ok, under your crotch,) and you run it through the canyon. Your fingers are in the center of the paper, which is essentially folded on opposite sides around them to access both sides.

Now imagine trying to do that sitting down. You can see my dilemma. I use a wiping technique that is inherently flawed when sitting.

From: MZero11 | #117
Let me explain to you the almighty 4-Tile Technique.

Grab 4 tiles of paper and fold in hamburger style (so essential double layer 2 tiles), after the first wipe fold it hamburger again (but don't get **** on your hand) and get another wipe, fold it hotdog and wipe a third time. Finally, fold it one last time and clean it up. If it was a dirty one you can just do it again.

The paper will never get wet and you can reduce your paper usage.

From: Menji76 | #118
What kind of ultra thick toilet paper do you use that two tiles is strong enough to wipe and not break?

From: SanityLapse | #126
This is how azuarc wipes:

From: SanityLapse | #126

From: ScorpioVS | #128
Technically, wouldn't the poop be on the other side of the paper?

Also

I squat when I poop. It makes an amazing difference. And I use folded paper towels because toilet paper always shreds when I try to use it.

The first 1-5 wipes are usually done sitting. I always check the paper to see my progress. The first wipe is usually very telling about how messy things are.

After those first wipes, standing is necessary for the next part. Wetting the paper towel and cleaning deep. It's much easier to clean deep while standing. I put one foot up on the counter, bend over slightly, arch my back for better reach, pull my cheek apart and probe for maximum cleanliness.

what in the HELL!? What is wrong with you people!? This is the first message board topic in a long while that is genuinely pissing me off from sheer idiocy. Like-- what the hell do you do if you're NOT at home!? I don't understand this!! WIPING YOUR ASS IS NOT THAT DIFFICULT! You sit- you poop- you wipe! You don't need to get up and do step aerobics. AAAAAAAAAAAGGHGGHGHGHGHG WHYYYYYYYY

From: Dark Young Link | #132
Something is wrong with every single person in this topic. -.-

From: SanityLapse | #126
This is how azuarc wipes:

From: SanityLapse | #126
azuarc posted...
ok, so imagine it this way: You take a stripe of toilet paper anywhere from 4-6 pieces long. You hold it behind your butt like you have a tail, (well, ok, under your crotch,) and you run it through the canyon.

This is how azuarc wipes: