I guess I have to write an essay now about the life and times and booking of XIII. I am pretty sure I did not sign up for this, but whatever, it's not like I haven't gotten my ass handed to me by everybody in this gorram fed, so I might as well play along.
XIII's charisma is unparalleled. I didn't think he could do it, and I clearly underestimated him. I thought that the UCAniverse would come through for the guy who plays by the rules, defends his titles with honor, and has given years to the company, but no, XIII took all those points and swept them aside. That's the kind of man he is- he attracts people to him and his cause regardless of the circumstances surrounding him. I didn't think he could rise to power on a platform of shady dealings, politics, and ducking challengers, but by gum, he proved me wrong. Not only did he crush my team, but he stole the good half of my roster and imposed his will on not just Ruin but the entire UCA. I run the whole thing, and yet I was powerless to resist his brilliant machinations. I have learned the hard way that nothing can stand in this man's way.
The other thing that is neat about XIII is how devoted he is to advancing the e-pop industry. While some of us are hung up on outdated concepts like "playing fair" and "legitimate competition," XIII is not held back by such trivialities. He has singlehandedly brought B8UCA into a new golden age- an age where the ralliers and the bros have full rein to rule over matches with an iron fist, and champions are decided by GM whim rather than the demands of the people. Sacrificing one half of the core concept of UCA is a small price to pay, as now we have YOUTUBE TRONS. The UCAniverse seems to enjoy it, so who am I to complain?
It's clear he has a real heart for this business. Everybody knows Eruption sucks because I book it, and look! Here I am, forced to write an essay on UCA time when I could be putting up the next card. Now, everybody will be spared my abhorrent booking for maybe even a full day! Those are the actions of a man who truly cares about this federation, and you should thank him. I know he is still pretty new to the project, but he's clearly done his research and learned his history. Just the other day, he commended Boko/GTM and Boobs and Violence as teams with history! Truly, these teams have had long and fruitful careers that dwarf the accomplishments and prestige of teams like the NLK. I can't believe I've been here this whole time without realizing that. But that's the kind of insight and wisdom I have come to expect from this man.
The real way you can discern his character, though, is the way he handles himself as champion. Some inferior champions, like for example myself and Wigs, like to defend the belt on a frequent basis just to prove they are the best. We take pride in the rush of combat, the thrill of victory, and the ever-present threat of defeat. XIII is just streets ahead of all of us, though. Once he inevitably out-rallies Chris, his clause will take effect, preventing him from having to defend his titles any more than he feels like. You see, this actually brings value to the belts. By hand-picking his challengers and avoiding lots of defenses, he can avoid giving the fans what they THINK they want, and give them instead what he KNOWS they want- infrequent defenses make the matches more special, and instead of taking on all comers like a common team, he can guarantee matches against only the ones he deems worthy.
It's also very special the way he handles his incorrigible rapscallion of a partner, Nick. Nick is a man who constantly fights a losing battle against his demons, but XIII has been right there for him. It takes a friend of XIII's caliber to supply alcohol to a psychopath and give him an outlet in the form of jobbers to set on fire and otherwise grievously injure.
xiii rocks!!!
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~Tommeri Uranius Bombaldi the Fourth, esq.
If you can read this, I'm probably posting from my phone or something!