Poll of the Day > This 13 y/o Blonde FEMINIST was told her SHORTS were too SEXUALIZING!! Is it???

(+) Yeah! (+)

Catherine Pearlman's 13 y/o Daughter from New York was told by her shcool that her SHORTS were too SEXUALIZING and that she was dressed "inappropriately" and has now penned an open letter to the school to take her daughteer shopping for a new wardrobe that adheres to their guidelines!!

The parenting guru wrote a scathing attack on the school explaining the hardships of finding clothes for a 5'7 daughter and shared the photo of the too "revealing" shorts that violated their dress code

She said "Thank you for sending a note home for the second day in a row to say my daughter was dressed inappropriately for school. I'd like to offer an additional thank you for forcing her to change into large mesh shorts that have been worn by only god knows who and potentially never washed. To reward you for treating my daughter with such conceern, i am cordially inviting you to takemy daughter shopping. I wish you loads of luck"

She wanted to prove how hard it was to find clothes that were appropriate given the harsh "specificiations" the school has placed on girls, especially for a tall a girl like her daughter is as she doesn't like anything pink, purple or frilly and doesn't like pants because she's easily overheated and hates dresses when she doesn't have to wear them. She also hates visible logos and wears any t-shirts fearing SUPERHEROES, Green Day, USFL, and the Beatles.

She also explains that girls can't wear tank tops, shorts and skirts must not extend to the end of the fingertips as well.

Catherine finally said "So,, if i were you, (and i'm glad i'm not) i'd focus on the shorts first. She has very long fingers which seems to make finding shorts that won't get her to to the principle's office impossible"

She asked the principal to take a few afternoons and weekends off to find clothes for her daughter and to stay "within reasonable budget" and ended it with "Sick of the Dress Code Mom"

Catherine wanted to make it clear also that her daughter's body is somehow a distraction to either herself or the boys as during gym class she wasn't allowed to wear Yoga Pants because the boys couldn't CONTROL themselves and appreciated how the school tried to drive that point home.

Her daughter is a self-described feminist and hates how the school has double standards for boys and their outfits compared to girls...

Do you think those shorts are too "revealing"? let's see what people think.

The Daughter in her Shorts -

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/17/22/4075FA1B00000578-4516476-image-a-118_1495056518178.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/17/22/40748D7C00000578-4516476-image-a-119_1495056522878.jpg

Catherine and her Daughter - Normal Pics -

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/17/22/4075FA1700000578-4516476-image-a-129_1495056633477.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/17/22/4075FA0600000578-4516476-image-m-128_1495056624699.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/17/22/4075FA1300000578-4516476-image-m-123_1495056592226.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/17/22/4075670B00000578-4516476-image-a-127_1495056621034.jpg

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/05/17/22/4075671000000578-4516476-image-m-122_1495056556445.jpg
---

i clicked on no without seeing pics

and i was right lawl

Maybe in Pence's America or (obviously) an Islamic country they would be, but that doesn't apply to her.
---

I don't think it's too revealing. But if they have a specific dress code with specific measurements then that's a different story.

And I also do not agree with the mum stating that because the daughter is tall that it's hard getting her clothes. That's inexcusable. It's like telling your boss "Sorry for being late as I live from another city". If you want to work there, adjust so that you can arrive on time. Likewise, she knows her daughter is a challenge to shop for, so she should try to be creative and try different options; don't bend school protocol to suit your personal tastes or because it's too hard to shop for her.

And I find that girl's preferences to be just frivolous and spoiled. She doesn't like pink or purple or pants. So what? These are rules and she has options; she just doesn't want to adhere to them. Spoiled child. Ridiculous.

Regardless, the school went overboard with their message to the mother (the letter was sarcastic) and she felt offended; there are other ways to convey such a message that won't offend a parent.
---

mrduckbear posted...

Do you think her shorts are too "revealing"?

Not even close. Plus she's 13. What exactly has she got to "reveal"?
---

wwinterj25 posted...

mrduckbear posted...

Do you think her shorts are too "revealing"?

Not even close. Plus she's 13. What exactly has she got to "reveal"?

Them ms. Skeletal hips?
---

Dress codes
Dress codes
Dress codes

If you think you're above them you are in fact a snowflake. Almost every 13 year old is a snowflake, the difference is we now have parents enabling the snowflake. What 13 year old didn't come home pissed off after they were sent home for their ripped genes? Their first ammendment rights were just violated!

Too revealing? No. Appropriate for school? that one is a toss up, but I am leaning no on that one too.

mrduckbear posted...

Catherine wanted to make it clear also that her daughter's body is somehow a distraction to either herself or the boys as during gym class she wasn't allowed to wear Yoga Pants because the boys couldn't CONTROL themselves and appreciated how the school tried to drive that point home.

They are 13. They are little hormone raging sweatbags who are getting awkward boners every 10 minutes. A lot of them actually can not control their mind wandering if a girl is wearing a bikini in front of them or something. If you don't want the schools trying to make it so their male students can concentrate on lessons I am going to have to insist that teachers stop being lenient with girl's periods and see what you say about it then.
---

I think some sickos at the school find it too sexualizing. I wouldn't trust that principle with her on a shopping trip...

What is wrong with school administrators
---

slacker03150 posted...

They are 13. They are little hormone raging sweatbags who are getting awkward boners every 10 minutes. A lot of them actually can not control their mind wandering if a girl is wearing a bikini in front of them or something.

They're 13. They can't control their mind wandering if a girl's wearing a full burqa in front of them, because they'll be hoping for a glimpse of that sweet, forbidden forehead. Teenage boys are horny enough that they'll get excited by anything they can get, no matter what you put in your dress code. Part of puberty is learning to control that, and this approach of making girls responsible for not distracting them (often at the expense of comfort, especially in hotter weather) is not only unfairly putting that responsibility on people that aren't at fault, but also gives a message to boys that their sexual desires are bad and should never be talked about, which delays healthily coming to terms with them.

slacker03150 posted...

I am going to have to insist that teachers stop being lenient with girl's periods

What, like not letting girls go to the bathroom to change their pads/tampons? That's not exactly leniency.
---

adjl posted...

Teenage boys are horny enough that they'll get excited by anything they can get, no matter what you put in your dress code.

Fair point, but at the same time I don't see an issue with being asked to dress in a semi professional manner at a place of learning. Personally I am in favor of a lenient uniform policy.

adjl posted...

Part of puberty is learning to control that,

For most people the hormones balance out after puberty so it isn't a big problem after, but ignoring that is it fair to make them learn on hard mode?

adjl posted...

and this approach of making girls responsible for not distracting them (often at the expense of comfort, especially in hotter weather) is not only unfairly putting that responsibility on people that aren't at fault

Not responsible ask just that they don't make it worse by wearing short shorts. Girls can get shorts that are not short and tight, they have skirts, they have skorts, they have dresses, they have breathable leggings. They have more options than guys have when it is hot and having worn them I attest that they are all quite comfy.

adjl posted...

but also gives a message to boys that their sexual desires are bad and should never be talked about, which delays healthily coming to terms with them.

considering most schools have a class specifically talking about how sex is healthy I don't see how the message that class time is work time is sending that message.

adjl posted...

What, like not letting girls go to the bathroom to change their pads/tampons? That's not exactly leniency.

going to the nurse for bad cramps, skipping gym, etc etc. but fully admit it was a stupid argument. I was tired and it seemed logical at the time.
---

adjl posted...

Teenage boys are horny enough that they'll get excited by anything they can get, no matter what you put in your dress code.

Seems like you're projecting here buddy. We wasn't all horny, dumb teenagers.
---

wwinterj25 posted...

Seems like you're projecting here buddy. We wasn't all horny, dumb teenagers.

Speak for yourself, prom night was a mess ;)
---

Junpeiclover posted...

Speak for yourself, prom night was a mess ;)

I would have thought saying "we wasn't all" would imply that I'm aware some teens are like that. Point was folk who make general statements about how teens are act like teens are some foreign concept and they were never teens themselves. Not only that but some of the gals are worse then some of the boys so to specifically say "teen boys" is strange. On that note this article actually fails to realise that some gals are attracted to other gals too so it's not just a 'distraction for horny boys'. Saying that would go against the point in this article though. That being gals must cover up because boys can't control themselves and are evil!
---

When I was in school our rule on shorts was nothing shorter than your fingertips when you put your arms down to your side. Kids always complained about it but looking back on it that seems to be the easiest way to do it without measuring everyone lol
---

slacker03150 posted...

Fair point, but at the same time I don't see an issue with being asked to dress in a semi professional manner at a place of learning.

Provided the same thing is asked of everyone, sure, but the problem is a much broader societal one, wherein "fashionable" and "business casual" are pretty much the same thing for men, but very different things for women. You mention that girls can get loose, long shorts, but is that really a reasonable expectation when literally the only people suggesting that that's a good thing are the people writing school dress codes, and every other fashion-related opinion in their lives is suggesting that shorter and tighter options look better? It'd be one thing if we were talking about Daisy Dukes, but what this girl is wearing is widely considered to be a normal fit for girls' shorts.

That, and realistically, there's no point to demand "semi-professional dress" at school. All of that goes right out the window when dress codes go away in college, because students don't actually care or need to care.

slacker03150 posted...

For most people the hormones balance out after puberty so it isn't a big problem after, but ignoring that is it fair to make them learn on hard mode?

It's less the hormones balancing out and more getting accustomed to the new state of the hormones, part of which includes learning to pay attention despite boner. That is indeed a skill that needs to be developed, and putting the onus on boys to develop it themselves just makes sense.

slacker03150 posted...

considering most schools have a class specifically talking about how sex is healthy I don't see how the message that class time is work time is sending that message.

Because the rest of the time, they criticize anything that could incite sexual arousal, which sends the message that sexual arousal is bad and shameful. Doesn't really matter what they say in that one hour a week if the rest of the week is spent telling them not to feel such things. Also, I'd be very surprised if a school that would send a girl home for that has a sex-positive sex ed curriculum. That's far from universal, and a whole lot of school districts are still resisting the idea of teaching anything other than "if you have sex outside of marriage you will get pregnant and catch AIDS and you will die."

wwinterj25 posted...

Seems like you're projecting here buddy. We wasn't all horny, dumb teenagers.

And therein, you make the real point, which is that this issue is grossly overexaggerated. The vast majority of teenage boys are still capable of learning despite seeing a bit of cleavage or some tight pants. Those that are going to have their learning significantly impacted are the ones that don't have a sense of how to healthily handle their sexual arousal, and they are going to be aroused by pretty much anything out of the ordinary, whether that's shorts that are shorter than usual, or a burqa that's ridden up slightly to expose a bit more ankle than the other girls'. A dress code isn't going to help that. Talking to them about the trouble they're having is; dress codes are just a way to "address" the problem without ever having to actually talk about sex with the people having the problem (because talking about sex is so very bad, of course).
---

mrduckbear posted...

Her daughter is a self-described feminist and hates how the school has double standards for boys and their outfits compared to girls...

are the guys allowed to wear shorts that go more then half way up the top part of their leg?
---

deoxxys posted...

mrduckbear posted...

Her daughter is a self-described feminist and hates how the school has double standards for boys and their outfits compared to girls...

are the guys allowed to wear shorts that go more then half way up the top part of their leg?

Could a guy do that without being ridiculed to the point that disciplinary action wouldn't be needed to get him to change?
---

lol, the west- teaching little girls how to be sluts from an early age. Disgusting.
---

adjl posted...

deoxxys posted...

mrduckbear posted...

Her daughter is a self-described feminist and hates how the school has double standards for boys and their outfits compared to girls...

are the guys allowed to wear shorts that go more then half way up the top part of their leg?

Could a guy do that without being ridiculed to the point that disciplinary action wouldn't be needed to get him to change?

pretty much, everyone would laugh him out before the school got a chance to discipline him
---

JanwayDaahl posted...

lol, the west- teaching little girls how to be sluts from an early age. Disgusting.

Lol Janway.

deoxxys posted...

adjl posted...

deoxxys posted...

mrduckbear posted...

Her daughter is a self-described feminist and hates how the school has double standards for boys and their outfits compared to girls...

are the guys allowed to wear shorts that go more then half way up the top part of their leg?

Could a guy do that without being ridiculed to the point that disciplinary action wouldn't be needed to get him to change?

pretty much, everyone would laugh him out before the school got a chance to discipline him

And that's something that really confounds this whole issue, as I mentioned earlier. Strictly speaking, the dress code might be applied equally to both boys and girls, but the stuff that it's forbidding is far more socially acceptable for girls to wear than guys, and vice versa. The result of that is that you're telling boys that it's okay to wear fashionable stuff, but telling girls that it isn't, and that's an issue that goes far, far beyond dress codes.
---

Alexandra_Trent posted...

she knows her daughter is a challenge to shop for

5'7 isn't freakish, it's distinctly normal for an adult so she should get normal adult clothes and stop the whining.
---

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Alexandra_Trent posted...

she knows her daughter is a challenge to shop for

5'7 isn't freakish, it's distinctly normal for an adult so she should get normal adult clothes and stop the whining.

At 13, a 5'7" girl is probably going to be pretty skinny, as is the case here. Puberty involves growing in a lot more than just a vertical sense; she's probably got another 3-4 years before she fills out enough to wear adult clothes, and in the mean time, she's going to have to make a choice between fitting length and fitting width. Given how fitted most women's pants tend to be, fitting width is going to result in a much more comfortable garment than getting something longer that ends up being baggy and bunching in awkward places.

Also, average for adult women is 5'4", so that's definitely not "distinctly normal." She could easily shop men's clothes, certainly, but that's another beast entirely (if you thought she had to make compromises in proportion buying girls' clothes...), and telling a teenage girl to just buy men's clothes isn't exactly going to help her self-esteem.
---

adjl posted...

Kyuubi4269 posted...

Alexandra_Trent posted...

she knows her daughter is a challenge to shop for

5'7 isn't freakish, it's distinctly normal for an adult so she should get normal adult clothes and stop the whining.

At 13, a 5'7" girl is probably going to be pretty skinny, as is the case here. Puberty involves growing in a lot more than just a vertical sense; she's probably got another 3-4 years before she fills out enough to wear adult clothes, and in the mean time, she's going to have to make a choice between fitting length and fitting width. Given how fitted most women's pants tend to be, fitting width is going to result in a much more comfortable garment than getting something longer that ends up being baggy and bunching in awkward places.

Also, average for adult women is 5'4", so that's definitely not "distinctly normal." She could easily shop men's clothes, certainly, but that's another beast entirely (if you thought she had to make compromises in proportion buying girls' clothes...), and telling a teenage girl to just buy men's clothes isn't exactly going to help her self-esteem.

This is just giving it more attention than it needs. Protocol is protocol. Her daughter is tall. We get that. But she shouldn't be picky either. She can't be hard to shop for and picky at the same time. She can't have her cake and eat it too. There needs to be a compromise somewhere.
---

adjl posted...

That, and realistically, there's no point to demand "semi-professional dress" at school. All of that goes right out the window when dress codes go away in college, because students don't actually care or need to care.

and comes right back when going to work. Do you know how many people show up to interviews in their pajamas because they think that is acceptable dress? Going to school is a kid's job and learning to dress for the job is also part of growing up.

adjl posted...

It's less the hormones balancing out and more getting accustomed to the new state of the hormones, part of which includes learning to pay attention despite boner. That is indeed a skill that needs to be developed, and putting the onus on boys to develop it themselves just makes sense.

The new level is at least consistent. yes it is higher and boys need to learn to deal with those hormones, but it is a lot easier to deal with them when they are not constantly spiking past what you are used to. I would even agree that making the boys develop it makes mroe sense than to restrict the girls, BUT the school lessons come first. So if you have a way of teaching teenage boys how to not be distracted by girls while at the same time teaching math I am glad to hear it. In the mean time I think a dress code is a decent compromise.

adjl posted...

Because the rest of the time, they criticize anything that could incite sexual arousal, which sends the message that sexual arousal is bad and shameful.

not the rest of the time just during classes. And not that it is bad, but that it can be distracting which can lower grades and affect the future of students. Schools also have cheerleading(Short skirts, leg kicks etc), pep rallies, sports and school dances. plus they as you said earlier the media is constantly telling them that tight and sexy is good and fashionable.

adjl posted...

And therein, you make the real point, which is that this issue is grossly over exaggerated. The vast majority of teenage boys are still capable of learning despite seeing a bit of cleavage or some tight pants.

Exaggerated? Maybe. Grossly? I disagree. It is not a matter of can they still learn it, it is a matter of does it affect the learning. if girls wearing short shorts gave boys an average of 85% and girls wearing regular shorts or pants gave boys an average of 90% then you are putting the girls right to wear short shorts over the boys right to learn.

Now you could make an argument that no dress code would expose guys to more shorts shorts and hell maybe even a few weird girls who wear bikinis to class just because they can, and they will get desensitized and work better in class. which is possible, but I would want to see a proper study on the schools who don't have a dress code before I advocate it as a new standard.

Once again I personally prefer uniforms, none of this, no gang clothes, no spandex shirts, no worrying about fasion trends etc. and the girls and guys can wear whatever they want after school just seems so much easier to me.
---

Go write a novel guys, you get paid for it.

You can find someone who agrees with you and they get to feel good about themselves for 400 pages.

Not really, but dress codes are dress codes so suck it up, buttercup.

adjl posted...

They're 13. They can't control their mind wandering if a girl's wearing a full burqa in front of them, because they'll be hoping for a glimpse of that sweet, forbidden forehead. Teenage boys are horny enough that they'll get excited by anything they can get, no matter what you put in your dress code. Part of puberty is learning to control that, and this approach of making girls responsible for not distracting them (often at the expense of comfort, especially in hotter weather) is not only unfairly putting that responsibility on people that aren't at fault, but also gives a message to boys that their sexual desires are bad and should never be talked about, which delays healthily coming to terms with them.

And part of learning to grow up is understanding that you can't always wear what you want. By kowtowing on this issue, you send girls the message that they can get away with whatever they want by virtue of their gender which is enough of an issue in society, especially when you consider that every apparatus in our legal system already favors women over men.

Oh, keeping in mind that the gender bias ALREADY favors women when it comes to clothes. Back when I was in college, I remember working at a call center and during orientation we were handed a dress code book. The thing was 10-15 pages long. Guess how much of that was for men? Fucking half a page -_- Our entire choice consisted of one kind of slacks and a polo, and we were limited to three colors for that polo. (Women also had the choice of wearing a polo, but they had no color restriction beyond solids.) Was it fair? Probably not. But I went with it because that's just part of being in the real world.
---

Rules are rules, blah blah, rules can be changed. I don't see any good reason not to fight for a good rule change. Yes, you have to follow rules in the real world, but you can also effect change in the real world by speaking up. That's a good lesson for the real world, too.
---