Board 8 > Kanzaris plays Dies Irae [Visual Novel] [Playthrough]

(+) Yeah! (+)

Of course, this plan makes sense. Without lights, Lisa shouldn't be able to control Cain properly, because she can't see. But there's just a little problem...Kei controls flame. She waves her blade, and the light returns in the form of scarlet flames. With that, Lisa's work can resume - and Ren, caught offguard worse than Cain by the lights' disappearance, is left vulnerable and helpless. This is it. Now he'll die. Together, as if guided by fate, Lisa and Kei utter the same words:

"Farewell, Fujii..."

But then, a voice cuts in.

"I thought I told ya not to underestimate us."

Kei looks up - but Shirou's gone. Just then, a pistol clicks - and a really awesome CG of Shirou and Ellie, back to back, pistols pressed together, pops in.

"I don't wanna say this to someone my age, but you really are naïve, aren't ya?"

"Honor students always lack flexibility."

They take aim, and Kei can't understand what they're planning. She can just block their bullets, anyway, right? But she doesn't see it coming - until it's too late.

"Go cosplay as Wilhelm."

BANG!
---

The bullets hit a fire extinguisher on stage. Kei's blinded by the foam issuing from it - and Shirou and Ellie take advantage. Surprised, Lisa loses control and...

Kei's whole body was then stampeded with chills and shivers. He would die. He was going to die again. No, no, no, no. She couldn't bear losing him again.

Her fear and impatience shot past their limits, making Kei lunge forward instantly.

Blinded by fear, Kei charges forward, seeking to stop them. She can't allow Cain to die. Not again!

Murderous intent in front of Lisa, as well as the obstruction of a comrade's hunt through distraction. Kei didn't hesitate at all to take those actions — actions that would break her oath. To be accurate, she'd completely forgotten about it. She simply dashed forward — as fast as she possibly could — in order to save him. To keep him from dying.

After that brief moment lasting not even a second — filled with thoughts and running — Kei beheld the worst possible outcome.
---

POV switch back to Ren. The darkness catches him offguard, and the illumination caused by blade meeting blade blinds him for a moment. But then Kei's flames illuminate the Pit once again. Then gunfire rings out, and Cain's killing bolt misses Ren. This is it! Time to strike for the finish! Ren swings again!

AND THE FUCKING GIANT HEADBUTTS AWAY THE BLADE HOLY MOLY
---

The attack 'merely' cuts Cain from should to lung. He no-sells, and Ren realizes something: a simple meat puppet couldn't have done that. That only means one thing - Cain is alive! Sort of! Somehow!

AND THEN HE SPEAKS

Or rather, he screams, like a berserker. And Ren pretty much shits himself.

POV SWITCH AGAIN
---

Back at Lisa, it's time for PANIC

She can't let anyone find out Cain's true nature - it'll make him harder to control, and it'll also destroy Kei.

"It can't be..."

Fortunately, what's got her dumbfounded is Cain's massive 'injury'. Still, though...it's too late. Nobody can control Cain now. He unleashes another burst of black lightning, and it blows everyone away - including his ally and his controller.

POV switch again.
---

The flash of lightning burned into my eyes, blinding me.

The scope of Cain's raging lightning strike dwarfed all others that came before — even I would have been torn to shreds, had I taken a direct hit from it.

I knew that. All too well. Yet in spite of that, I couldn't bring myself to move an inch. Rather than being frozen by the sheer magnitude of that unparalleled destructive power, it was more like I was cursed by this freak's existence itself. I'd be seeing pearly gates in my near future if this kept up...

"...!"

For some reason, Sakurai cut in between us. That was what saved me. The floor shook with a tremendous sound, splitting apart along with the walls while I found myself blown back a dozen or so meters. As the echoes of destruction continued to roar, I saw something fall to my feet...it was Sakurai. Needless to say, she was all battered and wounded from Cain's attack.

Kei survives, but only just, by blocking the blow. Dumbfounded, Ren does the only thing he can: ask why. Why did she save him...? It only makes sense when he turns it around. What if she was trying to save Cain instead? And suddenly...yes, it clicks. But there's no time to ponder things before a massive ache in his neck distracts him. The third Swastika has been opened. Lisa speaks up to soothe him.

"Rest easy, we're leaving for the night. And I know I have no right to be asking this of you, Fujii, but...take care of Leon. She's difficult to deal with, but deep down, she isn't a bad girl..."

Lisa leaves, just like that, leaving Kei in Ren's care. With the opening of the Swastika, her job is done. She has no reason to remain here. Ren screams, calling out to her, but his weakened body can't chase after her. Her last words linger behind, hauntingly.

"I hope you live...don't die..."

The curtain of Cain's mask spreads to envelop the entire Pit. Then, he, Lisa, and all the lingering bodies are gone.

"She devoured them...man, she sure knows how to enter and exit with style, huh?"

It's Shirou. The sunsabitch survived, as did Ellie, of course. Ren immediately launches into a bitchfest because he nearly died due to Shirou's whole plan. They shut him down easily, of course. Ren then tries to guilt trip himself about all the people who died, but they see right through it and shut THAT down as well.

"Anyway, it's at times like this where you should think positive by focusing on defeating the bad guys, right? Which leads to a problem..."

And boy what a problem it is.

"What do we do about her?"
---

Shirou's the first to speak up about the fate of the unconscious Kei.

"Waste her, Ren. Get revenge for my boys."

"Well, there's the idiot's opinion on the matter."

Heh. Right on the money as always, Ellie. Shirou's just curious about what it takes for one of the ORTs to die, which is a waste - Ren knows, he killed (well, 'killed' Spinne). Ren rebuts him, because performing experiments on Kei to determine what it takes to kill her feels sick and twisted. It's wrong to kill an unconscious enemy who can't defend herself.

Call it naïve, but killing someone wounded and defenseless was too low for me. And seeing how I couldn't bring myself to do that, I had only one option available. After all, there was still much we didn't know.

"Let's capture her and keep her prisoner. There's stuff I'd like to ask her."

Both members of the Dynamic Duo exchange knowing looks.

"You're starting to grow attached to her 'cause she saved your ass back there?"

Ren denies it, but they fluster him real good. Toooootally not my waifu (candidate), guys! Totally! Shirou then goes for the kill.

"Well, people like Twitsumi are more of your specialty, yeah?"

Yep, we're on that route- I mean yeah Ren's a purehearted waifu kinda guy- I mean shaddap Shirou

Anyway, Shirou decides to let it go, just this once. Ellie goes to work on Kei, and just then, the lights go out once more. It's impossible to treat Kei like this. Time to head somewhere with more light where Ellie can work on her, like a VIP room.

Some time later...

---

And that's where I stop for the night. More tomorrow, I hope.
---

Bumping so this doesn't purge. Ideally will play more tomorrow/today. Fingers crossed!
---

toki wo tomare

dreizehn

Up. Should play some once I'm done eating.
---

Got busy after food X_x

Hoping to get some playtime done today (as in after sunrise). Fingers crossed!
---

DEAGLE ONE SHOTS BANG BANG BANG bang

It's time...to read some visual novels.
---

"Guess this will do. You boys can come on in now."

Inside the VIP room, Kei is sleeping, bandaged up and covered in blankets. She's stable, but she's lost a lot of blood and her body is in danger of experiencing hypothermia because of the lack of heat. Shirou being Shirou, he suggests Ren warm her up. Ellie plays ball, too, because Ren's too fun to tease. As she points out:

"Besides, wouldn't you rather do it yourself instead of leaving it to Shirou?"

(that and he should be close by to stop her considering he's the only one who can do much of anything against her. But that's less important than jokes made at his expense.)

Eventually, Shirou and Ellie bid their adieu. Poor Ren, being too much of a goober to realize sitting (or lying) back to back is enough to provide good heat. He just wraps himself up in the blankets alongside Kei and starts thinking about what happened. This really is just a big ol' mess now, isn't it? Looking down to her face, he wonders how she got tangled up in this whole Nazi plot. It's an interesting question, but not one he can answer as she starts turning in her sleep and muttering.

"I'm sorry...I'm...I'm...just a...child..."

(new art BTW, and I'm p sure it's a one-off - a bandaged up, half-naked Kei is something I don't expect to see a lot more of, not even in her own route.)

"So please...forgive me...I swear that...I will..."

Ren feels a twinge of guilt at seeing this. It's private - much more private than a bit of skin.

"I...will win...I'll never lose...so please wait...a little longer..."

"I'm sure...we'll meet...again...The three of us...will all be...together again..."

"Beatrice..."

That name gets a reaction out of Ren. It seems...familiar. That's what Valkyria, the dead ORT she replaced, was called! She must have meant a lot to Kei. Her teacher maybe? An adoptive older sister? Heck, her mother? All possible...

No time to think about it though, because Kei starts writhing in pain. The stigmata, maybe? Whatever it is, it's so strong it causes her to go still. Concerned, Ren shoves the blankets off her...and discovers the mark Rusalka placed on her. Except it's alive. A scorpion in her flesh, moving all over, searching for a place to land a killing blow. For a moment, Ren hesitates, but he can't just leave her to die like this.

Annnnnd choice time. This one's a no-brainer, really.
---

The choice is between letting the tattoo do its thing or suppressing it. Ren of course opts to suppress the tattoo.

New music! Hyphyyyyyy

Pressing both hands on top of the scorpion, Ren tries to suppress the tattoo. The scorpion whispers maliciously in his ear, telling him to get out of the way, but Ren's having none of that. The scorpion tries to tear Ren's right hand apart with its claws, but Marie's soul holds firm. Once an opportunity presents itself, he focuses and issues a single command.

"Sleep!"

And thus subdued, the scorpion ceases its attacks on Kei. Slowly, her breathing settles down. With that, Ren considers his debt to her to be repaid. There'll probably be a scuffle when she wakes up, but that can wait. For now, he wraps the blankets around them both and goes to sleep. It can wait until morning.

POV switch.
---

Cut to the bridge. It's the dead of the night, and a heavy rain's falling down on Lisa Brenner's head, including hail. Accompanying her is Tubal Cain. A small, forlorn smile spreads across her face.

"It's like a Catharist whipping, huh?"

She couldn't go back to the ORTs yet. She needed time, time to think, so that's why she's here right now, letting the rain soak her skin. Soon it'll be Christmas...Rea's birthday. She's not sure what to think about that. Such an important day...a day she's simultaneously been awaiting for a long time, yet also hated. All that's left is to sit and wait, and she's sick of it. Her job's done, but there's no relief over it. Only anger and impatience.

Would her wish be granted? Would everything she'd lost come back to her? Or would she end up losing something else in return?

"How pathetic. I've gotten too old..."

Lisa's lived for more than ninety years, and none of that time on earth has brought her any peace of wisdom. All this time, and she still carries many regrets with her. A long time ago, she learned to give up control, and go with the flow, and now, as she has many times before, she realizes she feels weak and used. In some ways, she's no different from Cain. A puppet controlling a puppet.

"So at the very least, I think it would be good if you weren't..."

Angry? Sad? Something of that ilk, at any rate. How must Cain feel about her?

"Would you care to tell me? Cain...or should I say..."

"You will catch a cold, Lisa."

It's Kristoff. Way to cockblock a reveal, dude!

Anyway, the Father is here because to interrupt Lisa - not from revealing spoilers, but from wallowing in her self-loathing. He leads off by thanking her for opening the third swastika, a job well done. This confuses Lisa, because why would he ever need to thank her? It makes her suspicious.

"What are you doing?"

"Ah, nothing of import. I merely felt a somewhat bizarre disturbance with the spirits. It happened shortly before the Swastika was opened, I believe."

Oh? Interesting. Must have been Cain's awakening, probably. The others didn't sense a thing, which is odd - they aren't on his level, I suppose. As he says, 'perhaps it is significant that only I sensed it'. Ignoring Lisa's questions, he begins to inspect Cain. As he does so, it occurs to Lisa that Cain is certainly the best weapon in the ORTs' arsenal - but while Father Trifa isn't the 'strongest', he is the most 'dreaded' amongst the order. And then...

"Do you hesitate at times, Lisa? Now that your work is done, all that is left is to wait. You never have been fond of violence to begin with, so that is fine. I shall not stop you. However...I believe Cain still wishes to move around."

"..."

"How about it?"

"Why? Why do you still want to use him? You're not shorthanded, that's for sure."

"Mmm, all in due time. First, let us discuss your worries. Your worries and hesitation...you need not talk of them for me to understand. I have no wife or children, but I have those who are just like that. They are precious beyond words. Warmth that can never be replaced. Though we may be called demons, we possess human hearts. As such, I understand your suffering — so well, in fact, that it hurts. The source of that conflict is that you must kill the child in order to hold it in your arms. The contradiction is so tremendous it is far too much to handle. So you went with the flow without being able to make a choice. Is it not natural? We are indeed similar beings. I wish for Theresia's happiness just like you do, Lisa."

Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...
---

"You...you and Lord Heydrich..."

"He does not mind our sort of imprudence. His Excellency the Vice Commander is the same, so please stop measuring them with your own ruler. It is just as foolish as it is meaningless. If it comes to those two, they will declare everything pointless, and that will be the end of it."

"But—"

"Listen to me, Lisa. You do not have to pay heed to Lord Schreiber and Lord Machina. One of them is a slave to his own egotism, and the other is not capable of thought to begin with. The top of the Obsidian Round Table is not exactly carefully ordained. Well, I suppose Lady Samiel alone would be a mite troubling, but fortunately—"

"..."

"Even in the off-chance she were to depart for battle, I have found a good bargaining chip. Though it is likely I will not be needing it, given the way things are proceeding."

A spray of blood. Lisa, makes choked, pained noises, as the Father punches through her chest, grabs her heart, and pierces through her back, all in one fell swoop.

"Wh-why...me...?"

"Consider it a mercy, Lisa. To be honest, it is because you would just get in my way, but that does not change the fact it is an act of mercy. It would be best...that you did not know of the future that is to come."

I fear for Rea now. What does Kristoff have in mind for her? That's the only thing I can see Lisa really opposing him on.

"Valeria...Rea...make sure she..."

"I swear that I will save her."

If there's one thing he can probably trusted on, it's this. I have no idea what kind of game Kristoff Lohengrinn is playing at just yet, but he's not going to sacrifice Rea as a part of it.

"I will not let her use the Ark of the Covenant. And I will ensure t hat both your wisha nd mine I granted, I swear to God."

"It can't be..."

But that's contradictory in Lisa's eyes, impossible. How?

"I can. It is possible. You and I are birds of a feather, but ther eis one definitive aspect we differ in. We deluded, worried, swayed with the tremors, and found ourselves assailed by an intense craving. But in spite of that...I am one to act. Every time I lose, I take it back. But once I get it back, it is taken from me once again. Whether it is unproductive or a paradox, I nonetheless never hesitate.

Lisa...you are a kind person. But when my broken scales could not longer balance between you and Theresia, the one I chose was..."

No more needs be said. Kristoff pulls Lisa's heart out, and crushes it.

"Farewell, Lisa Brenner. Farewell, my beloved compatriot. You may have despised me, but I was quite fond of you. If Theresia is my daughter, then you were my wife and sister. A notion that would only bring you disaste, no doubt, but it is the honest truth of my very soul. Therefore...I shall inherit your legacy.

Oh, I appear to have been correct. Even after she rots away, this one remains."

And indeed, Cain still stands tall, even though Lisa's body's turned to ash and disappeared.

"His performance shall no doubt decrease, but as long we have this in our hands, Cain should still prove quite useful. Besides...I certainly did tell you to use Cain as you saw fit, btu I never even dared to dream that you would do this, Lisa. Do you resent me, ___?"

Oh come on! At least don't redact the name if you're gonna go this far! Cain's as pissed as I am too, as his whole body quakes with rage.

"Return home, Cain. And once you do, seek out malleus. I know not how well she will be able to command you, but I am certain she will manage. In the meantime, I must busy myself with giving Lisa a proper burial."

Still clutching her heart, Kristoff parts ways with Cain, who does as instructed.
---

"Please endure for just a little while longer, Lisa. The amusement park is close by. I believe you shall not be lonely there. After all, you visited the place on several occasions with Theresia, did you not?"

And in the sky, another Swastika appears. Trifa's stigmata tear open. Half the necessary work to bring back Mephistopheles...is done. That's it for this chapter.

Chapter 7 — END.

Stopping here for now. I believe this concludes the common route. It's time to properly enter the Kasumi route. Teaser for the next time:

"That day marked quite possibly one of the worst mornings in Kasumi's life."
---

vote for tubal cain

Somehow you've been playing this for a month and I've been for less than a week and I'm already caught up to you.

But then I have too much free time.
---

If I could laserfocus Dies I think I would wrap it up in like a week

Mercs too strong tho

(Speaking of, playing tonight once I've put Results up I think. Get hyped!)
---

Up. No mercs for a week so let's see if I can't take advantage of that.
---

Got classes in a bit. When I come back, playing tonight, no matter what.
---

miracle never happen

One plus and minus about this VN that I am beginning to discover is that it really picks up. I'm not quite done, but I think in the end I'm going to have enjoyed it a lot. The problem is just that it starts off pretty bad. So I hope you get to the good parts eventually.
---

That day marked quite possibly one of the worst mornings in Kasumi's life.

"..."

She washed her face and woke herself up, then followed it up with a filling breakfast. At any rate, it was morning, so she figured she'd go for a change in mood by heading to school like a good student...or so she thought, but—

"Nope! Still pissed!"

It's time. Let's go.
---

Kasumi is mad. Mad as hell. The reason she's so mad is a pair of wannabe MC-kuns who insist on doing dumb things and leaving her out of the messes they make. The nerve of it, seriously! Especially since Ren went out with some shameless hussy (Ellie, for those keeping the score at home). Kasumi is totally not tsundere, we swear, b-baka. She's only skipping class and searching the whole city to yell at Ren, t-that's all! And these are just tears of anger! Promise!

(If Kasumi cries Ren is a confirmed ORT-level monster, j/s)

"Gaaah, why is every guy I know an idiot!?"

"Damn straight."

Oh shit, it's Ellie!
---

...And she fucking tasers Kasumi

Jeeze that escalated quickly

It doesn't actually knock Kasumi out, so that's nice, but Ellie kidnaps her nonetheless. Here we goooooooo

Chapter 8! "Pied Piper"! POV switch!
---

After a night of passionate...sleeping...Ren wakes up. Marie greets him with a 'good morning'. Luckily, this time she isn't buck naked. Progress! She and Ren exchange pleasantries for a bit before Ren spots the elephant (or rather, ORT) in the living room.

A certain someone was sitting on the sofa across from me with a foul look on her face.

'sup, Kei. Immediately the mood dampens a bit, because much like Adam Jensen, Kei Sakurai never asked for this and is making her displeasure at not being left to die known. Yawnnnn. Ren isn't impressed either. He points out Sakurai could've killed him in his sleep, which is a pretty solid argument in favor of getting this complaining over with. She explains that in her weakened state, it'd be unwise, that Ren is more useful to the ORT alive, and most of all, that Marie gave her pause. Apparently it's unusual for a soul to be formed like hers. She guesses (correctly) that Marie is a sort of gift, which ticks Ren off. He changes the subject:

"One more question, then: why didn't you leave? If you don't feel like fighting me, then you have no more business here, do you?"

"Because I felt disgusted."

Ren's actions were so dumb they intrigued. So she's decided to stick around for a while and see if she can make sense of them. 'ok'

She turns the question back on him. Why not kill her when she was weak and unable to defend herself? Why hold back?

"Go take a bath or something."

OK, that made me laugh. Solid response, Ren. This puts Kei on the defensive, and eventually, an agreement is reached. Tit for tat information exchange, but only after showers are done. Seems fair to me. Kei's pride is wounded though - she puts on her best haughty airs as she leaves the room.

"Um, Ren? Can I take a bath, too?"

What a question to be asked huh

Marie's worried that she might stink, just like Kei does (she's not covered in blood though, so the question seems a bit silly, but hey - Marie for ya, right there). So Ren is forced to reassure her.

"In fact, well...you smell good."

"Really? You're not lying?"

Why would Ren lie about this? Sheesh, what's this paranoia

"Of course not."

"It looked like that other girl was really bothered when you told her she smelled."

"She's always mad about something."

I thought I had as much tact as the next guy, but she didn't seem to think so.

lmao

This guy thinks he has tact

I don't even have to make jokes here, Ren just digs his own grave

Just then, Ren's phone rings.
---

"Ey there, big man. You awake?"

Shirou. As if anyone could mistake that voice. Ren is immediately exasperated by the fact he's being called by a guy on the same building as him. His mood doesn't improve when Shirou announces he's about to complain to him. Turns out Kei literally kicked him out of bed in her quest to find the shower. rip shirou's sleep

...Huh. Ellie pulled an all-nighter while the boys slept, fixing up the power. Now that's a real solid girl right there.

"So where'd Honjou go? She sleeping now?"

"Huh? The hell are you talking about? Didn't you ask her for help to begin with?"

"Huh?"

"I'm talkin' about Twitsumi, man. She went to abduct her."

"Oh."

best response he could've given, really

Ren experiences a surge of gratitude towards Ellie, and decides he owes her some thanks, but Shirou stops him. Apparently she doesn't really like being thanked for anything. Quickly, he switches the subject.

"Anyway, that shit aside, somethin' interesting's come up."

"Something interesting?"

"There's a monitor in that room, yeah? Turn on the power. It should be working."

Said and done. Cut to...a pic of Kei in the bathroom, taking a shower. Ren speaks for me here:

Um, what the hell was I looking at?

(This all coupled with ominous foreboding music too. SO SPOOPY)

Shirou takes this very seriously, though.

"The image blurry? The audio okay? Well?"

"'Well'? Seriously?"

Did he seriously just...

Kei: "...was up with...erious...How dare he say I stink...That's not true...I don't stink...do I? What's wrong with that guy...? Seriously..."

Ren: "..."

Marie: "..."

Shirou: "Well?"

"The fuck is wrong with you?!"

This whole exchange quoted in its entirety because this is the first time Ren's truly lost his cool. He freakin' yells that last line! You went too far Shirou, too far!

"Are you an idiot? You're an idiot, aren't you? No, you definitely are. What the hell are you doing!?"

"Now, now, just cool your tits and take a long, hard look."

PHRASING

"Okay, I'm looking."

Poor Marie, Shirou is corrupting her!

"I figured I'd teach this bitch a lesson about what happens when you piss a guy off, that's all."

Too far, man, too far. Plus it's not even Kei he's putting on the spot, it's Ren!

He was pure, literal shit. No, lower than shit.

"I'll ask you one more time. What the hell are you doing?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm asking what a wonderful gentleman such as yourself is doing to a girl who pissed you off."

"Takin' a peek."

"Dude, at least don't sound so proud of yourself..."

The voice acting in this scene is just top notch, I just gotta say this. The lines work by themselves, but Ren's VA is nailing the mix of sheer 'wtf?!' and anger this delivery needs so well.

"Don't be so sullen. Show me a more healthy reaction."

Shirou. My dude. You forgot to say something, and that something is 'no homo'

(who am I kidding the Ren x Shirou route is the canon one and I'm betting all my dollarydoos on it)

"I gave you some eye candy. Ain't that good enough? Depending on the situation, you could get your money's worth outta this."

dis guy

DIS GUY

"I'm turning it off. Quit pulling dumbass shit like this and actually try to think of what's to co—"

"Huh? What's that, you wanna see things from another angle?"
---

"Listen to me for once..."

I couldn't help but want to vent my frustration at this annoying idio. I then decided to soak his sponge-like brain with everything I had—

And just like that, the trap is sprung.

"There's no way in hell I'd want to see Sakurai nakeeeeed!"

Shirou turned on the mikes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBSRA2k7FBE
---

"Um...Fujii?"

DANGER REN ROBINSON DANGER

Suddenly fighto guitars start blaring. Look man just run and find Kasumi, she'll protect you, you're due for a 'girlfriend' switch anyway

"The two of us will have something very important to discuss shortly. Stay put and don't even think about running away, alright?"

Rip Ren, he's fucked and not in the way he'd like

He himself notices this after Kei smashes the surveillance camera.

Shit had officially hit the fan. My prospects of surviving the next hour suddenly grew a lot dimmer. More importantly, though, there was a certain someone I felt like strangling to death right now.

"Aw man, there's nothing to do without Ellie around."

Prepare for FURIOUS BATTLE AT THE BRINK OF DEATH, because Ren's coming for Shirou's ass!
---

"Well, anyways, let's leave that little spot of fun aside for now. I love you guys. Picking on you is the sole joy in my life, seriously."

The worst part is I think he means it. He says this while casually dodging a combined attack from Kei and Ren. The surge of murderous intent is real!

(Off to the side, Marie just watches in awe. Poor girl, caught in the crossfire here.)

Kasumi is due to arrive any second now. Desperate, Ren decides to swallow his pride and ask a deadly question.

"Hey, Sakurai. Could you play along with me for a while?"

"What do you mean?"

"Kasumi's on her way here."

"Is she now? What exactly do you want me to do?"

"Well, I figured we'd play things by ear."

"No, why me? I don't even like you."

Just ask her man. This is like a painful tooth extraction with no anaesthesia. May as well just get it over with as quickly as possible.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

THE COWARDICE OF THIS MAN

"If you've got something to say, then say it."

"Get off my back, you shrew."

Ren this is not the way to find allies

"Uh, being shrews is what chicks do, man."

also shirou isn't helping

like in the slightest

"Um, say...what about me?"

pls don't bully Marie, she doesn't deserve this

"Hmm? Yeah, I dunno how to describe you. Like...tranquil and placid, but startling and alarming? Incidentally, I'm of a serenely relaxing disposition."

Kei kicks an ashtray at him this time. Then, supremely pissed off, she tries to leave. Ren, desperate not to lose her her, objects. Kei doesn't seem very inclined to listen to him, so Shirou decides to helpfully intervene.

"No, actually, this guy has the extraordinary talent of making things worse the harder he tries."

Ren and Kei respond in sync.

"Piss off."

"He's right. This is none of your concern, is it?"

Speaking of playing it by ear...

"Then I'll bring along someone it does concern!"

Cue Ellie, bringing in Kasumi on a stretcher, in a body bag. EVERYBODY stops to boggle at this. Seeing Kei with eyes wide opened is a new experience for me, as is seeing Shirou with a look of 'dafuq is dis' on his face.

"Hmm? What's wrong?"

Marie's the one to react first.

Marie unzipped the body bag, and the moment she did, a difficult to describe thing burst out of it.

"Mmph, mm, gmmmph!"

the look on Shirou's face is the look of a man who has abandoned all hope

"Friend of yours, Ren?"

"Nope. Never seen in her in my life."

I WISH we could see Ren's

He doesn't have the heart to show us THE TRUE FACE OF FEAR, so we timeskip forward.

Backed by a highly oppressive BGM, Kasumi began to lecture me

rip errybody, not even the fourth wall survived Kasumi's RAGE AWAKENED
---

"Okay, NOW you owe me an explanation, you hear!? What in the world are you doing in a place like this, Ren? And with Marie and Sakurai, no less!"

"Well, one thing sort of just led to another..."

Sakurai looked brisk even when I turned to her. It was probably useless to expect anything out of Marie.

But while I was deep in thought—

Marie: "Well, Ren said he wanted a threesome, but he didn't have the money for a love hotel, so he brought us here instead."

it's over

I can't top this tonight, I'm done

good evening guys
---

...Just kidding!

(but holy shit I had to stop for a while after that. That moment had gravitas!)

"He said WHAT?!"

(even the BGM was killed instantly by that, btw. Marie just...murdered everyone)

Ren clears things up for me.

"Marie, stop reading off the cue cards those idiots are holding."

(Something I hadn't mentioned is Shirou and Ellie are standing behind Kasumi. It all makes sense now!)

Ellie's card: "How about you join us, too? I could dig that."

Shirou's card: "Ah, but I guess you'd fill the room with the stink of kendo equipment. Yeah, forget I said anything."

Ellie's card again: "But doesn't Ren have a stench fetish?"

Shirou, once more with feeling: "True, Fujii does have a perverted side to him."

Ellie, giving chase: "He was a total animal the last time we did it. He even bit my arm."

Shirou, one last time: "Ah, remembering all that made me kind of restless now. Um, Ayase, what would you say if we took some time together in private?"

"Wh-what? but I don't swing that way! W-wait, stop! Not in front of Ren!"

rip, my sides left orbit at escape velocity
---

"Get the fuck out, both of you".

Shirou and Ellie feel inclined to keep the silent act going. What a pair of cards! Literally!

"Uh, but we live here."

"We? FYI, you're only freeloading at my place."

"Hey, quit screwing around already!"

"No! Not the big scary lady again!"

"You scare me when you're angry, mommy!"

"You have mouths to speak with! USE THEM!"

Rip, the Kasumi monster ate the cards, there goes all the fun

Kasumi demands a serious explanation, particularly from Shirou, who fucked off so long ago and suddenly reappeared here. For once, the boys are forced to explain, and as Shirou deals with Kasumi's anger, Ren feels nostalgia wash all over him. Just like in the good old days, isn't it?

Next up, Kasumi wants an explanation on Ellie - both who she is and why the heck she tasered her.

"ANYWAY! Who the hell are you, miss?! And how are you related to my boys?!"

"Whoa. Your boys...?"

"When did you become our mother?"

Dies really is at its best when there's abundant banter. BEST

Anyway, Kasumi presses Ellie further, who's been ignoring her olympically and looking at her phone. It earns the following response from her.

"Huh? You mean me? Who am I, you ask? Well, if I had to say, I guess I'm a fuck buddy."

Ren: "Pfft!"

Me too, man. Me too. This shocks all the other ladies majorly.

"Huh? That's not how you've been seeing me?"

Ren begins to worry for his life once again, scared they might mistake him for Ellie's, uh, very special friend instead of Shirou.

"Dude, what a curveball."

"I figured we could do that if you ever got your thing in working order. Just a plan, though."

Ren: "Huh?"

My consciousness was about to trail off toward analyzing their inexplicable conversation when I suddenly realized there was something very important I forgot to add to the equation. And that thing — that pitfall — was gaping its jaws around my feet this very moment.

I had a terrible feeling about this.

The thing Honjou had just casually launched not only caused one terrible misunderstanding, it triggered another bomb — an electric chair, if you will — veiled behind the second layer of our situation.

I'd forgotten all about it, but now it came back to bite me. Oh, shit.

ahahahahaha he didn't even realize he needed to actually swallow his pride and ask Kei to pretend

He's so fuuuuuuucked
---

"Ren!"

Yep, there it was.

"Weren't you dating Sakurai?!"

Kei: "Wha..."

Marie: "Huh...?"

Shirou: "*Whistle*" (the whistling was ON. POINT, btw)

Ellie: "Uh-oh."

"How could you do this to her?! Have you no shame, you degenerate?!"

The look on Kei's face man

And her voice, HER VOICE

Even she got shorted out by this bombshell!

Kasumi threatens to catch on. The response from our clever ORT representative:

"Yeah, err...well, no...actually...um..."

Ren this is why you pre-plan things, fuck playing by ear

Shirou and Ellie of course don't pass up the chance to comment, very literally, on Ren and Kei sleeping with each other. Because what this situation needs is MORE awkwardness.

"Yo, teach! Ren's resorting to his poker face again while he tries to come up with an excuse!"

never change Shirou, never change

"Ms. Sakurai here is much more of an open book by comparison."

"In what way!?"

Marie, blessedly innocent child that she is, intervenes.

"Your face is red."

And suddenly...

"Ren, say it!"

"Say what?"

"You know, it. The thing you kept trying to dodge the last time we talked about this!"

When I was little, I read the Arabian Nights. One of my favorite tales amongs the ones it offered was the story of Dalilah the Crafty and her Tower of Lies. She told a lie, then another lie, then another lie, fooling everybody and crafting an amazing scheme...and then the tower came tumbling down, and she was in deep shit. That's Ren now. And if he manages to talk his way out of it like Dalilah the Crafty did, I'll be very impressed with him.
---

"Tell her you love her! Right here, right now! Declare your love to the world!"

Shirou and Ellie join in. LESSGO

"Along with your passion!"

"And libido!"

"This isn't a chorus line, you idiots!"

Marie: "Um, then what should I..."

Things only continue to degenerate, as Ren is backed deeper and deeper into a corner. But just when all seems lost, Ellie brings up a convenient distraction. The school's out! Forever! Thanks, Ellie!

Then Shirou provides a further distraction by telling Kasumi to go make lunch. Ren, recognizing a lifeline when he sees it, applies pressure on her too. SUCCESS! Crisis averted. Mostly. Briefly, Ren and Kei convene. Once food's done and Kasumi's dealt with, they'll have to get their conversation over and done with, ASAP.

Timeskip to later that night...

Spoilers: That ASAP? Yeah, so much for that. But I'm stopping here. More tomorrow!
---

This game does love the hijinks a bit much. That particular scene is funny though.
---

Bump.

Finished now.
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