Current Events > Thinking about having kids so nobody calls me a virgin anymore

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Pics_nao_plz
06/09/17 1:12:18 PM
#1:


since I am a foreveralone I was thinking of adopting a kid, so I can say I plowed his mom and she died or something.

i do not know much about kids but I was thinking I'd adopt one a little older so that way he is indoor trained and stuff. Then I just need to buy some clothes and send him to school and stuff. that isn't bad because I drive by the local elementary school on my way to work so it seems pretty easy.

i am tired of being bullied at work for being a virgin. whenever i go into the break room everyone will yell "sound the virgin alarm!" and start making ambulance noises while I prepare my bowl of honey nut cheerios. it is embarrassing and i just want to eat my dereal (desk-cereal) in peace. i am tired of my coworkers leaving condoms on my desk and then when i sit down they all come and take them away because they say i will never need these.

am i ready to become a father? please advise.
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Turtlebread
06/09/17 1:12:40 PM
#2:


yes very good plan
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stone
06/09/17 1:13:51 PM
#3:


Nothing can go wrong with such strong reasoning.
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PONG WAS REAL? I thought that was just a story parents told kids to scare them
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PiOverlord
06/09/17 1:14:29 PM
#4:


I think this plan is flawless!!!
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green butter
06/09/17 1:16:48 PM
#5:


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Kazi1212
06/09/17 1:17:08 PM
#6:


Oh, TC posted? Sound the virgin alarm! Wee woo wee woo
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#7
Post #7 was unavailable or deleted.
Soviet_Shurima
06/09/17 3:16:57 PM
#8:


this sounds like an adam sandler movie
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"CE has also complained before" - Terra-enforcer
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giantblimpN7
06/09/17 3:18:44 PM
#9:


Sending you some condoms now. Oh wait, you'll never use them!
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Wotswayla
06/09/17 3:19:46 PM
#10:


That's a very selfish reason to have a child
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Hey there, cutie. I'm Harpie ;)
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armandro
06/09/17 3:19:58 PM
#11:


Do you make bank??

You can also hire a nanny to take care of your kid.
people might also think you're with her.
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GiftedACIII
06/09/17 8:07:00 PM
#12:


Pretty sure you'll just be called a pedo instead
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Mernardi
06/09/17 8:29:04 PM
#13:


Look at all these sex having people in here acting all condescending and shit. Look, I totally get it TC. I actually adopted two children before I post my viginity because I was so embarrassed by it (not to mention I was still living in my mom's basement...)

Long story short, because girls thought I was a responsible father, I was dropping panties left in right with my two little brats. I don't really care for them, but they bring in the pussy!

Go for it man. Don't let these people bring you down.
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Uncle_Drew
06/09/17 8:35:41 PM
#14:


Pics_nao_plz posted...
dereal (desk-cereal)

Lmao
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DevsBro
06/09/17 9:48:13 PM
#15:


Uncle_Drew posted...
Pics_nao_plz posted...
dereal (desk-cereal)

Lmao

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Banjo2553
06/09/17 10:13:00 PM
#16:


Soviet_Shurima posted...
this sounds like an adam sandler movie

Or an alternate plot to 40 Year OId Virgin.
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SwordMaster13X
06/09/17 11:51:09 PM
#17:


@Pics_nao_plz

I suggest you buy a self-help book on how to become a dad and then write another one of those things in order to make money. Everyone has self-help book these days because people keep buying them, so keep on racking in with that dough train. Not only will you raise a child correctly and efficiently but you will make some money as well. Maybe you will even be able to quit your job. Once you quit your job, you can eat your honey nut cheerios in peace as I don't think your chairs and furniture are going to mock you for being a virgin. Also eat waffles!
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GAMER_X
06/10/17 9:29:06 AM
#18:


Mernardi posted...
because girls thought I was a responsible father


Not even kidding the entire time I've seen you posting since I came back here I thought you were a chick with the things you say and how you react to certain topics and posts. Unless that's some kind of troll persona; CE is full of people trying too hard with gimmicks and all
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#19
Post #19 was unavailable or deleted.
Sad_Face
06/10/17 9:52:33 AM
#20:


Pics_nao_plz posted...
while I prepare my bowl of honey nut cheerios.


Of all things to eat, why cereal? Cereal is for the poor.
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tripZ504
06/10/17 10:03:12 AM
#21:


Mernardi posted...
Look at all these sex having people in here acting all condescending and shit. Look, I totally get it TC. I actually adopted two children before I post my viginity because I was so embarrassed by it (not to mention I was still living in my mom's basement...)

Long story short, because girls thought I was a responsible father, I was dropping panties left in right with my two little brats. I don't really care for them, but they bring in the pussy!

Go for it man. Don't let these people bring you down.



At least try. No adotpion agency would let anyone adopt living in your moms basement.
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GAMER_X
06/10/17 10:42:19 AM
#22:


leverageblargh posted...
GAMER_X posted...
Mernardi posted...
because girls thought I was a responsible father


Not even kidding the entire time I've seen you posting since I came back here I thought you were a chick with the things you say and how you react to certain topics and posts. Unless that's some kind of troll persona; CE is full of people trying too hard with gimmicks and all


Didn't you say that you hate CE and were only passing through for a day or two?


CE is like one of those trainwrecks that's too hard to ignore lol. So I pop in now when im bored or too lazy to game
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#23
Post #23 was unavailable or deleted.
infinitydev2020
06/10/17 11:02:20 AM
#24:


I feel like that's something somebody on an Incel subreddit would do.
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