Current Events > These Crash N Sane Trilogy reviews make me want to die

(+) Yeah! (+)

Gamespot

Enemies rarely react to you, preferring instead to follow pre-determined paths and animation loops. And many obstacles are needlessly discouraging; Razor-thin tolerances for success and one-hit deaths make for a frustrating pairing.

Gamesradar

But then there's the death. There's just no escaping it, there might be brand new death animations to keep you entertained - oh look I've been swallowed by a lion again - but there's no avoiding that the controls just mean that Crash Bandicoot has become Dark Souls. It's a horrible shame.

Gamereactor

Crash's simple spin and slide mechanics found in the first two titles don't offer much in the way of variety, and while Warped offers more abilities like the double jump and fruit bazooka, along with more interesting levels like ones with Coco on a jet ski or Crash traversing the bottom of the ocean, there's still not enough side-content, nor an engaging storyline, to make the original Crash Bandicoot trilogy a must-have game in 2017.

and there's more i cant be bothered to pull from reddit. pretty good illustration of why modern gaming is such trash (and a cautionary tale to not listen to game reviews)
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They review these games as if they are brand new games. It's a remaster people, not a reboot.
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Protoman_X38 posted...

They review these games as if they are brand new games. It's a remaster people, not a reboot.

if game reviewers made the next crash bandicoot it'd be an M rated 3rd person scripted open world action game with a breadcrumb trail leading you to your next objective, and crash is now a mentor to a young bandicoot who will learn about themes of loss of innocence and sacrifice as they attempt to stop the cause of the mysterious N Cortex Infection that is turning all the scientists in the game into bloodthirsty zombies
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Whaddya know, games from 1996 are shitty

after lords of shadow 2 I couldn't trust video game reviews anymore
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I'm sorry, did that third one call Warped's jetski and water levels interesting? What the fucking shit
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Romulox28 posted...

Protoman_X38 posted...

They review these games as if they are brand new games. It's a remaster people, not a reboot.

if game reviewers made the next crash bandicoot it'd be an M rated 3rd person scripted open world action game with a breadcrumb trail leading you to your next objective, and crash is now a mentor to a young bandicoot who will learn about themes of loss of innocence and sacrifice as they attempt to stop the cause of the mysterious N Cortex Infection that is turning all the scientists in the game into bloodthirsty zombies

And it also has themes that resemble cautionary tales about global warming, and has a transgender black character thrown in at some point.
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They needed Crash Team Racing
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mcpwnia posted...

I'm sorry, did that third one call Warped's jetski and water levels interesting? What the fucking shit

lol yea those levels sucked even back when i first played them on the ps1.

but the complaints about the games being too hard, not having an "engaging storyline" in a game about a marsupial that wears jeans, not having side content, & not understanding how the enemies work in crash games is embarrassing
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All the negative reviews I've seen make it seem like they've literally never heard of or played a Crash game in their life


The only major legitimate gripe I can see having is how it doesn't run at 60fps
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Romulox28 posted...

the controls just mean that Crash Bandicoot has become Dark Souls

.......................................................
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DezCaughtIt posted...

All the negative reviews I've seen make it seem like they've literally never heard of or played a Crash game in their life


The only major legitimate gripe I can see having is how it doesn't run at 60fps

well as someone else said, the water levels kind of suck and i think the first game in general was a bit rough, even on ps1. crash got really good with 2 and 3 IMO

but complaining about the difficulty or the lack of a compelling storyline just screams that these people didnt give a shit about video games until the xbox 360 or something

drunkmuggle posted...

after lords of shadow 2 I couldn't trust video game reviews anymore

i still need to play that
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Romulox28 posted...

well as someone else said, the water levels kind of suck and i think the first game in general was a bit rough, even on ps1.

Oh I 100% acknowledge that. The rest of your points is why I feel like they've never played it before
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Romulox28 posted...

but complaining about the difficulty or the lack of a compelling storyline just screams that these people didnt give a shit about video games until the xbox 360 or something

nah mario had one of the most engaging stories with goombas that definitely chased you
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Fucking Dark Souls man.

The game is great but it's not worth the cancer it brought on to the industry. All the "git gud" meme shit and every hard game being compared to dark souls gets so grating.
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Lmao, these people never heard of Naughty Dog until Uncharted 2.
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Link HT posted...

Fucking Dark Souls man.

The game is great but it's not worth the cancer it brought on to the industry. All the "git gud" meme shit and every hard game being compared to dark souls gets so grating.

Tbh Dark Souls isn't even "hard" compared to some NES, SNES, and Genesis games. It just has the right kind of difficulty where there are established sets of rules that you have to follow in order to succeed.

In older games there were alot of broken mechanics with controls and what not that made games artificially difficult and hard just because the games weren't made well.
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https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDhpxbIXsAMioE2.jpg

Maybe they have a point with the Dark Souls comparison.
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The Gamespot reviewer even claimed to only make it halfway through each of the 3 games, what a joke lmao
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Link HT posted...

Fucking Dark Souls man.

The game is great but it's not worth the cancer it brought on to the industry. All the "git gud" meme shit and every hard game being compared to dark souls gets so grating.

If you avoid forums and PVP they are great.
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Although I don't see the Dark Souls comparison as a bad thing
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lol they're expecting a platformer to be an open world adventure game with a dirth of storytelling. Well, they're only expecting that from non-Mario games, anyway.
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Romulox28 posted...

Gamespot

Enemies rarely react to you, preferring instead to follow pre-determined paths and animation loops. And many obstacles are needlessly discouraging; Razor-thin tolerances for success and one-hit deaths make for a frustrating pairing.

Gamesradar

But then there's the death. There's just no escaping it, there might be brand new death animations to keep you entertained - oh look I've been swallowed by a lion again - but there's no avoiding that the controls just mean that Crash Bandicoot has become Dark Souls. It's a horrible shame.

Gamereactor

Crash's simple spin and slide mechanics found in the first two titles don't offer much in the way of variety, and while Warped offers more abilities like the double jump and fruit bazooka, along with more interesting levels like ones with Coco on a jet ski or Crash traversing the bottom of the ocean, there's still not enough side-content, nor an engaging storyline, to make the original Crash Bandicoot trilogy a must-have game in 2017.

and there's more i cant be bothered to pull from reddit. pretty good illustration of why modern gaming is such trash (and a cautionary tale to not listen to game reviews)

That last one annoys me. Not every game needs to try to emulate cinema and literature with deep, engrossing storylines. Sometimes, you just kick, punch, and jump on your enemies because it's fun. Storyline is tertiary.
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>2017
>not open world
>no on disc DLC
>not early access

0/10 F-
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Howl posted...

Tbh Dark Souls isn't even "hard" compared to some NES, SNES, and Genesis games. It just has the right kind of difficulty where there are established sets of rules that you have to follow in order to succeed.

I don't even think it's that. It's simply that dying in dark souls is punishing. Instead of being able to just try again in a matter of seconds the game forces you to look at the YOU DIED screen for a while, before making you wait for the loading, and then forces you to run to wherever it is you died with every enemy along the way having respawned, as well as dropping your souls ofc.

It's punishing and therefore memorable. It's the game's biggest flaw IMO, it should never take a full minute to restart a boss fight and it happened in some fights in DS and bloodborne because of how much you had to run to get to them.
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WOW

I came in expecting a butthurt fanboy upset at Crash getting a 7 or something, but got a fuck load of ignorance from that review. That person shouldn't receive funds or goods for their reviews.
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Howl posted...

Link HT posted...

Fucking Dark Souls man.

The game is great but it's not worth the cancer it brought on to the industry. All the "git gud" meme shit and every hard game being compared to dark souls gets so grating.

Tbh Dark Souls isn't even "hard" compared to some NES, SNES, and Genesis games. It just has the right kind of difficulty where there are established sets of rules that you have to follow in order to succeed.

In older games there were alot of broken mechanics with controls and what not that made games artificially difficult and hard just because the games weren't made well.

agreed, the whole "dark souls is so hard, git gud" shit is really just a meme, and i think the meme about how insanely hard the games are really puts off a lot of people who would be interested in playing the games.

for like 75% of tough encounters in Dark Souls there is a trick to get past it (a bunch of tough enemies on a bridge? take a secret path to get around them, trigger a trap that is placed on the bridge to kill them all, take a shortcut that lets you kill the enemies one by one, etc) and for the remaining 25% you can either just power level past them or even just run past everyone. there's a dude on youtube who beat dark souls 3 without killing a single enemy (besides bosses) because he memorized where they all are and sprinted from bonfire to bonfire.
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MixedRaceBaby posted...

>2017
>not open world
>no on disc DLC
>not early access

0/10 F-

Actually there might be some DLC that was originally intended on disc
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GameGodOfAll posted...

WOW

I came in expecting a butthurt fanboy upset at Crash getting a 7 or something, but got a fuck load of ignorance from that review. That person shouldn't receive funds or goods for their reviews.

It's kinda funny, the game is actually getting a bunch of good reviews, lots of 8s and 9s, I even saw a 10, but most of the reviews, even the good ones kinda miss the point of a linear platformer
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This is the result of hiring people who don't normally play or even like videogames to write reviews for videogames
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Link HT posted...

All the "git gud" meme shit

git gud actually started on GameFAQs during Metal Gear Online 2.

http://error1355.com/img/moreyouknow.jpg
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I know this one weedhead in real life who thinks he's the shit because he beat all the Souls games and Bloodborne once.

Meanwhile my biggest difficulty with the series is figuring out where to go next
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Seems like they never played the originals if those are their criticisms of it.
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DezCaughtIt posted...

All the negative reviews I've seen make it seem like they've literally never heard of or played a Crash game in their life


The only major legitimate gripe I can see having is how it doesn't run at 60fps

To be fair, the reviewers were most likely babies when these games came out.

Romulox28 posted...

Howl posted...

Link HT posted...

Fucking Dark Souls man.

The game is great but it's not worth the cancer it brought on to the industry. All the "git gud" meme shit and every hard game being compared to dark souls gets so grating.

Tbh Dark Souls isn't even "hard" compared to some NES, SNES, and Genesis games. It just has the right kind of difficulty where there are established sets of rules that you have to follow in order to succeed.

In older games there were alot of broken mechanics with controls and what not that made games artificially difficult and hard just because the games weren't made well.

agreed, the whole "dark souls is so hard, git gud" shit is really just a meme, and i think the meme about how insanely hard the games are really puts off a lot of people who would be interested in playing the games.

for like 75% of tough encounters in Dark Souls there is a trick to get past it (a bunch of tough enemies on a bridge? take a secret path to get around them, trigger a trap that is placed on the bridge to kill them all, take a shortcut that lets you kill the enemies one by one, etc) and for the remaining 25% you can either just power level past them or even just run past everyone. there's a dude on youtube who beat dark souls 3 without killing a single enemy (besides bosses) because he memorized where they all are and sprinted from bonfire to bonfire.

The only caveat that I will add to the difficulty of Dark Souls being good is that some of the hotboxes on moves aren't accurate and that does add a degree of artificial difficulty, but it affects so little of the games that it doesn't have much of an effect on the overall difficulty which is by and large done very well.
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thompsontalker7 posted...

I know this one weedhead in real life who thinks he's the shit because he beat all the Souls games and Bloodborne once.

Meanwhile my biggest difficulty with the series is figuring out where to go next

they're still hard games IMO, especially Bloodborne, which I just cannot handle

they're just not the world's most difficult games like memes make you think. but that's neither here nor there
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Fucking kids ruining game journalism.
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Dark Souls is a perfect game with perfect difficulty. You just suck at games if you think Dark Souls is insurmountable imo.

Also those review quotes are fucking pathetic. Really embarrassing to the point they should issue a public apology for being so ignorant.
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You know, I don't even remember Crash being good. I played the original Crash when I was a kid. Didn't really make it too far, like always got held up at one of the levels halfway through. But from vague memories, I don't remember having that much fun with the game rather just it was one of the few games I actually owned.
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legendarylemur posted...

You know, I don't even remember Crash being good. I played the original Crash when I was a kid. Didn't really make it too far, like always got held up at one of the levels halfway through. But from vague memories, I don't remember having that much fun with the game rather just it was one of the few games I actually owned.

Games back then weren't as much about gameplay as they were style and atmosphere - creativity. Crash was iconic artistically. It was vivid and mysterious.
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ThePredominate posted...

legendarylemur posted...

You know, I don't even remember Crash being good. I played the original Crash when I was a kid. Didn't really make it too far, like always got held up at one of the levels halfway through. But from vague memories, I don't remember having that much fun with the game rather just it was one of the few games I actually owned.

Games back then weren't as much about gameplay as they were style and atmosphere - creativity. Crash was iconic artistically. It was vivid and mysterious.

Crash 1 was a simple platformer that was only cool because it took the 2D view and flipped it to make it semi 3D.

Then Mario 64 came out.....and Crash took a backseat.

But Crash 2 is still one of my favorite games. Mainly due to all of the many hidden gems (literally) in the game. For a platformer, it was much more complex than Crash 1 was.

I loved WARPED, too, but it was definitely much easier to beat than Crash 2 was.

Those reviews... It's like test driving a restored 1968 Volkswagen Beetle and complaining about the total absence of GPS and integrated parking cameras.
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GameGodOfAll posted...

WOW

I came in expecting a butthurt fanboy upset at Crash getting a 7 or something, but got a fuck load of ignorance from that review. That person shouldn't receive funds or goods for their reviews.

basically what i came to post
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What kind of reviews are people expecting? "10/10 - best game ever"? For crash fans I'm sure this is glorious, but it's a dated game with dated mechanics. Change the name and model-swap Crash and it's like a 5/10 game. Given that Crash is a kid's game, and lots of potential buyers will have never played a 20 year old game, it's fair to warn buyers that it's not a good game unless you just want to relive your childhood.
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I mean I always said the Crash Bandicoot games were never really good in the first place, but this...

Gamesradar

But then there's the death. There's just no escaping it, there might be brand new death animations to keep you entertained - oh look I've been swallowed by a lion again - but there's no avoiding that the controls just mean that Crash Bandicoot has become Dark Souls. It's a horrible shame.

is pretty much the dumbest fucking comment I've ever heard about any game.
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IT's more the type of reviews complaining about the fact it's a platformer that plays like a platformer than genuine bad reviews. Not that I understand really caring about the reviews since we already played the games and shouldn't care unless it's like glitches or something.
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I mean the Dark Souls comment is bad writing, but if I understand it correctly he's saying the controls are bad and that makes you die a lot, so much so that you feel like you're playing a game that markets itself as "you're going to die a lot" and not a platformer.
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Crash Bandicoot has become Dark Souls
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Romulox28 posted...

thompsontalker7 posted...

I know this one weedhead in real life who thinks he's the shit because he beat all the Souls games and Bloodborne once.

Meanwhile my biggest difficulty with the series is figuring out where to go next

they're still hard games IMO, especially Bloodborne, which I just cannot handle

they're just not the world's most difficult games like memes make you think. but that's neither here nor there

Oh yeah, I understand that. But like most other games, there are usually reliable strategies to beat it.

Now Mile High Club on Veteran....that was some precision shit.
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So the reviews should ignore issues with the remaster because the originals also had those issues?
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