Poll of the Day > I'm going to stop being someone's friend today

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KogaSteelfang
07/09/17 4:20:48 AM
#52:


Yep.
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green dragon
07/09/17 8:19:40 AM
#53:


More details?
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SkynyrdRocker
07/09/17 8:28:18 AM
#54:


This happened
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 9:51:51 AM
#55:


Alrighty just got home.

green dragon posted...
More details?

incoming

SkynyrdRocker posted...
This happened

r/nothingeverhappens

seriously though, this story doesn't exactly make me look good, so it's pretty dumb to lie about. plus PotD is like my blog and I've always been truthful here,
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 10:18:15 AM
#56:


this'll be a little long so deal with it



okay so yesterday at about 4 I left my apartment to go to Abby's apartment and tell her we shouldn't be friends anymore. and just so we're all clear, it's more than just the sex; we don't really have anything in common and she's a (imo) boring person.

So I get there and I tell her all of it. I tell her that she only likes me because I hang out with her occassionally (for context, the girl has literally no friends; at least that's what she says), but when we do hang out it's never a fun time. I only go over when I'm feeling down and need to vent, and since I have other outlets for that I usually bail on her because it's like a chore to hang out with someone for hours who doesn't share anything in common with you. I told her she was a good person, but I was basically using her and she deserved a friend who would actually be a good friend.

Then she started crying (which I cannot handle) and she told me today was her birthday, and I was the only person who had come to visit her even though she had sent out mass invites to everyone she knew <_< and yeah sure enough, I looked aroung the apartment, and she had blown up balloons and hung little decorations for herself, and she was alone. She told me she was so lonely she went onto some online game she plays and spent real life money so she could gift items to people who wished her a happy birthday (which no one else besides her parents had done so far). Then she said she understood where I was coming from with my let's-not-be-friends talk, but asked if I could stick around for her birthday and watch Dr. Strange with her before I left for good. and I was weak and I said yes.

about half an hour into the movie, she gets a phone call and gets really excited. A girl (we'll call her S) from a church youth group Abby occassionally goes to called to ask if she could come over and celebrate, and asked if she could bring a couple of friends. So maybe a half hour after that, S shows up with another girl (E) and a sorta older dude (M), and she brings a homemade cake and a small gift.

I take this as my cue to leave, and start saying goodbye, but S pulls me aside and gives me this really strong lecture about how I can't abondon a girl on her birthday, especially just as soon as the party is getting started. and I try to explain I'm not actually very good friends with her, but S is like "so? neither am I. and neither of my friends have even met her. Everyone deserves to have a happy birthday and you can't take that away from her." and so idk what it was about her, but S had a threatening sort of voice that you can't really say no to.

And so we all cut the cake and have pizza and we start playing Cards Against Humanity, and then things start getting even worse. S is extremely religious, and her morality doesn't really allow her to play CAH without discarding any cards she finds innappropriate, or without repremanding everyone for their card choices. And we begin getting a lot of lectures about certain cards. Like ones that have to do with women gets us a small speech about women's rights, etc.

Anyway, the party quickly just becomes a bible study group/social hangout, but a little more informal, and between friends (and me, sitting there awkwardly). Abby, S, E, and M take turns sharing recent life events and how that reflects their spiritual journey, and then they talk about it together as a group before the next person goes. It was pretty cute tbh. A recent breakup that S had came up, and (I didn't catch what he said exactly, but) then M said something that made her start crying, so things became uncomfortable and he left the party.

At around this time, Abby convinced S and E that they should spend the night, and they agreed.

(continued in next post)
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 10:40:20 AM
#57:


So maybe I didn't emphasize this enough in the last post, but the birthday party was basically forgotten and it just became three friends hanging out at someone's house, eating their food and watching their tv while pretty much ignoring the host because what she wanted to do was not suitable for the kind of night S had in mind. So by the time the little scuffle between S and M happened, Abby was sitting alone at the opposite side of the room, barely a part of the conversation or activities.

Anyway, still upset and crying, S steps outside for some air, and I begin talking to E (who has been really silent all night; pretty obviously an introvert and feels awkward being at someone she doesn't know's house), and we get along pretty well. E is a year older than I am, and is a writer. We talk about poetry and fantasy and dystopia novels, and we discuss anime and all this other stuff, and i dunno, it was a good talk. It really got her out of the shell she'd been in once she could start talking about things she was interested in. So when S came back in, we all started talking our favorite books and writers, and that lead to movies and music, and other normal areas of conversation. Every once in a while, probably just out of habit, S would steer the direction straight into religion, and so eventually we all (save for Abby, who is now asleep) start talking about God and if religion should have a place in politics, and tbh I thought this was going to be a rough conversation to have, but S was actually a really understanding and loving Christian. She shared a lot about her upbringing with me, and told me about how God saved her from everything between growing up in a broken home to her first heartbreak, which M was insensitive enough to bring up earlier.

Then she started talking about her breakup, and (i hate small towns) it turns out her ex-boyfriend is a guy that is in one of my student organizations, and we find out we have a lot of mutual friends, and idk. I guess I'm rambling now but the three of us talked for about four hours, so a lot went on lol. Well anyway, it was really late and the two of them had church the next morning, so they were going to get going. They asked if I wanted to go with them to get late night food and then they could give me a ride home, but I declined. So we exchanged contact info and I guess I'm supposed to hang out with them on Thursday.

So I woke up Abby and told her everyone was leaving, and so was I, and she should probably get up so she could go to bed/lock the door. She tells me to spend the night because it's really late and it would take about an hour to walk home. I figure she's just going to knock out and I could honestly use a three hour power nap, so I agree. Clearly I'm not a smart person, because well, one thing lead to another, and we ended up having sex.

And let me just say, I feel totally awful about this on so many levels. I mean, just on the surface, we should not have had sex. that was like mixed signal city probably, especially after having spent the whole day. But even beyond that, I have like, sex aversion, so I ended up throwing up and dry heaving for a while afterward. AND I went in condomless because she said she was on birth control and I guess I believed her but as soon as we finished I realized that was literally the stupidest thing I could ever do. And then after, things get only worse. She starts telling me she really likes me and wants to have a more meaningful relationship and I'm like "bro we talked about this earlier today. we should not be friends. this was a huge mistake" and she started crying and she was asking why I don't like her and I kept telling her it was not a problem with her, and after a while she either understood or just got tired, and went to bed. I left the room to sleep on the couch.

(short last post coming after this)
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 10:44:18 AM
#58:


So I woke up about two hours ago, and left the apartment without waking her up or anything. I walked home (where I am now, typing this), and feel like the biggest shithole in the world. Literally everything I could have done wrong, I did absolutely wrong.

I guess all that there's left to do is hope she was on BC, confirm she isn't pregnant, check myself for STDs, and then make sure she understand that we're cutting ties and last night was full of bad decisions.

I probably won't get to hang out with S and E, either, since that's likely to get hella awk. which is too bad because they were good people.
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123pizza2
07/09/17 11:01:02 AM
#59:


Well everything about this situation sounds uncomfortable and unfortunate, but also avoidable. In regards to the outcome, you have my condolences. Hopefully it doesn't bother you for too long.

With that said, you need to make sure to resolve this properly as well. The more you linger the worse you will feel.

You dun goofed, so hopefully you can learn from this to avoid getting in such a sticky situation again.
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IAmNowGone
07/09/17 11:11:10 AM
#60:


Shes probably pregnant
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 11:18:58 AM
#61:


123pizza2 posted...
Well everything about this situation sounds uncomfortable and unfortunate, but also avoidable. In regards to the outcome, you have my condolences. Hopefully it doesn't bother you for too long.

With that said, you need to make sure to resolve this properly as well. The more you linger the worse you will feel.

You dun goofed, so hopefully you can learn from this to avoid getting in such a sticky situation again.

Lessons learned. In a few months/years I bet this will be a fun thing to think about. How dumb I was back then.

IAmNowGone posted...
Shes probably pregnant

I don't need this negativity

*blocked* ;b
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 11:22:29 AM
#62:


Side note: Dr. strange was not a bad movie. I'm not usually a fan of superhero movies, but this one was okay.
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mastermix3000
07/09/17 11:29:06 AM
#63:


ok I am so confused lmfao

You keep having sex with this girl who clearly is into you but you don't like her, but then keep making topics about it
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IAmNowGone
07/09/17 11:35:20 AM
#64:


Negativity? This girl is lonely and totally into you. You don't think she'd deliberately lie about birth control to trap you in a relationship?
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green dragon
07/09/17 11:37:27 AM
#65:


Just tell her you're gay and I'm sure she'll understand
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OneTimeBen
07/09/17 11:48:11 AM
#66:


I have never had trouble cutting friends out. I moved in with a best friend once.
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 11:48:26 AM
#67:


mastermix3000 posted...
ok I am so confused lmfao

You keep having sex with this girl who clearly is into you but you don't like her, but then keep making topics about it

I don't regularly have sex with her :b this is maybe the second or third time we've been physically intimate, and I've also never made a topic about her. I just make a lot of topics about a lot of people <.<



IAmNowGone posted...
Negativity? This girl is lonely and totally into you. You don't think she'd deliberately lie about birth control to trap you in a relationship?

I mean, I really hope not? I don't think she's stupid enough to ruin lives because she's lonely. That's pretty extreme.

green dragon posted...
Just tell her you're gay and I'm sure she'll understand

Will do.
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 12:12:57 PM
#68:


good lord now I'm really uneasy <___<

I mean what are the chances of pregnancy without BC? Like 5%? I'm probably fine.


BBC
The bottom line is that a single act of intercourse between a young couple has on average a one in 20 chance of pregnancy %u2013 this assumes the opportunity presented itself on a random day, as these things tend do when you are young.


Okay so I'm going to be fine. Everything's gonna work out and I'm not going to feel sick and awful anymore.
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green dragon
07/09/17 12:59:13 PM
#69:


MrMelodramatic posted...
Will do

Are you serious? Because my comment was actually serious
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 1:08:46 PM
#70:


I just want to not have a baby right now. After that I'm reassuring her that I messed up big time and I'm actual human garbage and she should never talk to me again. Telling her I'm gay is not part of the plan.
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Smarkil
07/09/17 1:29:08 PM
#72:


doesnt matter had sex
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Jen0125
07/09/17 2:42:32 PM
#73:


MrMelodramatic posted...
I just want to not have a baby right now. After that I'm reassuring her that I messed up big time and I'm actual human garbage and she should never talk to me again. Telling her I'm gay is not part of the plan.


Get her the Plan B pill then.
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wwinterj25
07/09/17 2:43:11 PM
#74:


Told her you shouldn't be friends but had sex anyway?
g0lbZ3g

Now time to nail E.
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 5:20:40 PM
#75:


@ Jen: texted her and she agreed. Said she would go to a pharmacy tomorrow before school.

@ winter: why E?
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Jen0125
07/09/17 5:43:58 PM
#76:


She should go now so it's more effective. The longer you wait the less effective it is.
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IAmNowGone
07/09/17 6:33:14 PM
#77:


After the no pregnancy thing is cleared you should seriously disclose why you never want to talk to her again and end things for good. Not in person, either.
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 7:01:35 PM
#78:


Jen0125 posted...
She should go now so it's more effective. The longer you wait the less effective it is.

told her, thanks

IAmNowGone posted...
After the no pregnancy thing is cleared you should seriously disclose why you never want to talk to her again and end things for good. Not in person, either.

yeah .-.
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KogaSteelfang
07/09/17 7:32:41 PM
#79:


MrMelidramatic posted...
@ winter: why E?

Because you said yourself you two hit it off, and already have plans to hang out again. Plus it sets up perfectly for you gain another set of friends, and another girl to sex, so you can come back and tell us all about it again...
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 8:16:16 PM
#80:


Having a decent conversation with someone as at a 3-5 person party isn't really hitting it off lol. And I'm supposed to hang out with both E and S (plus their church group, I think?)

More friends are always good, but this group seems way too religious for me to ever really get close to them, unfortunately. We'll probably be Facebook friends at most :b
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 8:41:33 PM
#82:


you sound mad <.<

I can pretty much guarantee that in a week or two, this whole season of life will end
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TheCyborgNinja
07/09/17 8:43:27 PM
#83:


Eww, church groups :/

J/k. I'm against religion but I know some cool religious people and if that's what makes somebody happy or put positivity into the world, I'm okay with it.

This sounds like a realistic story, don't make me regret believing you!.. Seriously though, while you obviously fucked up, it's very easy to make sexy mistakes when you're tired, the day has been emotionally erratic, and guilt is involved. As much as she thinks she needs you, she doesn't, and it's no different than somebody eating themselves to death at this point. She needs to find an equally boring person who can appreciate her and maybe she will come to appreciate herself.
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Jen0125
07/09/17 8:49:42 PM
#85:


How do you even get a boner when you don't wanna bang someone
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Doctor Foxx
07/09/17 8:51:36 PM
#87:


Jen0125 posted...
How do you even get a boner when you don't wanna bang someone

How does sex just happen when you don't want to even spend time with that person

I don't understand having a penis I guess
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TheCyborgNinja
07/09/17 8:52:58 PM
#88:


KogaSteelfang posted...
Jen0125 posted...
How do you even get a boner when you don't wanna bang someone

That's the excuse my mom uses to say that a woman can't rape a man. >_>

I learned on Law & Order SVU how dudes can get raped. Maybe she needs to see it.
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darcandkharg31
07/09/17 8:54:30 PM
#89:


maybe u should listen to ur wiener, that way u don't die alone.
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TheCyborgNinja
07/09/17 8:55:27 PM
#90:


darcandkharg31 posted...
maybe u should listen to ur wiener, that way u don't die alone.

Wieners make terrible decisions. The wurst.
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Jen0125
07/09/17 8:56:50 PM
#91:


Doctor Foxx posted...
Jen0125 posted...
How do you even get a boner when you don't wanna bang someone

How does sex just happen when you don't want to even spend time with that person

I don't understand having a penis I guess


I mean I can get still getting a boner and being able to be raped like Koga is saying but Melo is saying he absolutely doesn't even like being around this person so there's no reason for him to even be sexually turned on even mentally
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darcandkharg31
07/09/17 8:57:43 PM
#92:


TheCyborgNinja posted...
darcandkharg31 posted...
maybe u should listen to ur wiener, that way u don't die alone.

Wieners make terrible decisions. The wurst.

JxZwjlo
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 9:01:16 PM
#93:


TheCyborgNinja posted...
Eww, church groups :/

J/k. I'm against religion but I know some cool religious people and if that's what makes somebody happy or put positivity into the world, I'm okay with it.

This sounds like a realistic story, don't make me regret believing you!.. Seriously though, while you obviously fucked up, it's very easy to make sexy mistakes when you're tired, the day has been emotionally erratic, and guilt is involved. As much as she thinks she needs you, she doesn't, and it's no different than somebody eating themselves to death at this point. She needs to find an equally boring person who can appreciate her and maybe she will come to appreciate herself.

I totally don't mind the over-religious types, it's usually them who stop talking to me :< the overly religious types in small texas towns are usually not very tolerant for very long (at least not the ones I seem to meet)

KogaSteelfang posted...
Not mad, more frustrated. I'm sure you can understand why.

I mean, sorta. Sorry, koga.

Jen0125 posted...
How do you even get a boner when you don't wanna bang someone

It happens. stimulation is stimulation I guess.

Doctor Foxx posted...
How does sex just happen when you don't want to even spend time with that person

I don't understand having a penis I guess

uhhh youthful mistakes? idk I don't have a good reason. just a bunch of half-assed ones.
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Doctor Foxx
07/09/17 9:01:20 PM
#94:


Jen0125 posted...
Doctor Foxx posted...
Jen0125 posted...
How do you even get a boner when you don't wanna bang someone

How does sex just happen when you don't want to even spend time with that person

I don't understand having a penis I guess


I mean I can get still getting a boner and being able to be raped like Koga is saying but Melo is saying he absolutely doesn't even like being around this person so there's no reason for him to even be sexually turned on even mentally

Yeah physical arousal and rape makes sense and I don't question that.

But this... I would imagine being very turned off by being in his shoes. It doesn't just take a minute to jump to sex either. In the conversation and touching and everything else leading up to it there was no desire to nope out? On someone you didn't even want to see on their birthday? I don't know how you get from point A to point Z in the scenario and that's the part left totally open ended in the post.
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Jen0125
07/09/17 9:10:19 PM
#96:


Koga please don't make this topic about you. Holy shit.
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darcandkharg31
07/09/17 9:10:41 PM
#97:


KogaSteelfang posted...
It's ok, it's not your fault, I'm just growing ever more bitter.

The transformation is beginning, mwuhahahaha!
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 9:20:36 PM
#98:


blahhh I don't know guys.

I sat on her bed and we were talking about what had happened that night. She said it got weird for her during the CAH game, because she's not actually religious and she just goes to the church group for the company, but she realized tonight (last night) that they didn't share her sense of humor or like the things she did, and they were all better friends with each other than they were with her. And I sort of agreed, I guess, and was like "bro that is exactly why we should not be friends" but it fell on deaf ears.

Then she talked about how she went home for 7/4 and she had tried calling her dad to set up a birthday dinner with him before she left for college again, but he kept blowing her off, and she ended up not seeing her father at all. And she said that in a way, I reminded her of her dad, because she likes me being around and she thinks I'm a good person, but I act like I don't want to be around her and always blow her off. and I was like "tbh yeah dude I'm kind of busy, and on the list of things I want to do, hanging out with you is not that high on the list" and she said that was fine, and she could understand that.

So we were quiet for a while, and then she started talking (mostly to herself, it was sorta weird) about the first time we ever "did stuff" and talked about how she hadn't done anything that in months and she started riling herself up and idk <_< she grabbed me and kissed me and we made out and our pants came off and well, yeah.

I know I don't think she's a fun person, but it's not like I'm disgusted by her or anything. And I know I'm typically against having sex, especially when I don't know the person, so I don't know what to say. I guess I wasn't thinking with my brain. I don't have a good reason. It was just really in the moment, but as soon as the moment was over, I was like "wtf did I do"

and then of course, after that she was like "yeah so let's keep doing that except we can be friends or even more than friends that would be nice i really like you" and so then I got up and started puking and that was that, basically.
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 9:21:34 PM
#99:


we can talk about you if you want, koga.

please share if you feel like it :>
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Jen0125
07/09/17 9:21:45 PM
#100:


Sad
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darcandkharg31
07/09/17 9:25:47 PM
#101:


MrMelodramatic posted...
I reminded her of her dad

haha!


MrMelodramatic posted...
kissed me and we made out and our pants came off and well, yeah

BWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 9:28:29 PM
#102:


darcandkharg31 posted...
haha!

honestly that part was a real mix of sad and sick. was probably the least funny part of the night :/
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wwinterj25
07/09/17 10:18:31 PM
#103:


Doctor Foxx posted...
Jen0125 posted...
How do you even get a boner when you don't wanna bang someone

How does sex just happen when you don't want to even spend time with that person

I don't understand having a penis I guess

It's not that hard to grasp(no pun intended). She wants him and he just thought "what the hell" and fucked her. Even if the chick isn't attractive with enough touching getting erect isn't difficult. Well unless you've got some kind of medical condition.
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Jen0125
07/09/17 10:19:21 PM
#104:


Idk it doesn't even seem like he thought what the hell. He seemed pretty despondent and sad about the whole thing even when he was having sex with her.
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wwinterj25
07/09/17 10:22:17 PM
#105:


Jen0125 posted...
Idk it doesn't even seem like he thought what the hell. He seemed pretty despondent and sad about the whole thing even when he was having sex with her.

No other explanation for it in my mind. She was easy and he's done it before so eh.
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MrMelodramatic
07/09/17 10:30:24 PM
#106:


Jen0125 posted...
Idk it doesn't even seem like he thought what the hell. He seemed pretty despondent and sad about the whole thing even when he was having sex with her.

I was... but I guess winter's right.

I mean I wouldn't phrase it quite that way (I'd try to make myself look better), but that's pretty much what it boils down to when I really think about it.


I don't know if this is related but I've had a migraine all day and it's killing me.
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