Current Events > Do you have any sympathy for someone who gets back into an abusive relationship?

(+) Yeah! (+)

For example. They are in an abusive relationship for years. Cry about it for years. Don't take anyone's advice to get out for years. Then when they finally wise up and get with someone who is not abusive, they get bored and go back to the abuser. They then cry how they are getting beat again and thought they "changed".

Do you feel sorry for that person? Is it wrong to just ignore for sticking their hand in the same snake hole and getting bitten again?
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yes. psychological truama makes people do things that aren't rational. there's only so much you can do and say to somebody like that, but they don't "deserve" it.

we have things like Stockholm's syndrome all over the world, so yeah...
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I have sympathy for them up until they start a family. At that point though they're endangering a child and can fuck right off for that.

hell nah

Fuck no. Especially if they're keeping kids in that shitty situation.
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I've cut ties with multiple friends and their ridiculous relationships. You try to open their Goddamn eyes, thinking that they finally get it and decide to move on, then they do the complete opposite and throw your effort, advice, and time in to the trash.
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Nobody would do that if they didn't have some sort of issue. Sane people don't act that way. So in that regard, they do deserve sympathy - they aren't right in the head.

Having said that, I'd likely stop trying to stop them. Put my effort elsewhere, because clearly it's being wasted here.
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Vicious_Dios posted...

I've cut ties with multiple friends and their ridiculous relationships. You try to open their Goddamn eye, thinking that they finally get and decide to move on, then they to the complete opposite and throw your effort, advice, and time in to the trash.

That's my main thing. They ask for advice and tell you the full scope of the situation and they listen to none of it and just keep taking hits like rocky. Then you ask why and you get "I love him". Bullshit. Get out of here with that crap
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No
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Vicious_Dios posted...

I've cut ties with multiple friends and their ridiculous relationships. You try to open their Goddamn eyes, thinking that they finally get it and decide to move on, then they do the complete opposite and throw your effort, advice, and time in to the trash.

Yeah. Sometimes for the sake of you/your family safety and/or mental health you need to give up on someone.
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Depends on the conditions and choices made.

Sometimes I can empathize with their decision to go back, but still shake my head.
I actually never support it. But then I rarely had trouble finding new partners.
It was typically easy for me to permanently dump someone who I figured mistreated me.
It was a personal policy for many years.

One condition many critics overlook is the fact that finding compatible partners is easier for some people, while much harder for others. The people with it easy can toss exes like napkins to immediately find someone else. Those with considerably less options don't have that level of privilege if they prefer to be in a relationship. Not everyone lives in an area loaded with easy access to eligible singles (ie: a large city) or has favorable opportunity to move to them. And some people just suck at starting new relationships, regardless of how they look.

There's a lot of subtle luxuries people successful in dating take for granted that some other people, for various reasons, have to miss out on. It's those uncommon cases that remind me how to understand why someone might go back to an abusive ex, even if I don't agree with it.
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Vicious_Dios posted...

I've cut ties with multiple friends and their ridiculous relationships. You try to open their Goddamn eyes, thinking that they finally get it and decide to move on, then they do the complete opposite and throw your effort, advice, and time in to the trash.

RE_expert44 posted...

Vicious_Dios posted...

I've cut ties with multiple friends and their ridiculous relationships. You try to open their Goddamn eye, thinking that they finally get and decide to move on, then they to the complete opposite and throw your effort, advice, and time in to the trash.

That's my main thing. They ask for advice and tell you the full scope of the situation and they listen to none of it and just keep taking hits like rocky. Then you ask why and you get "I love him". Bullshit. Get out of here with that crap

Frankly, I'm over it.

They tried reaching out to me, but I wasn't down for another ring around the Rosie.

I agree with what's being said that that those people aren't 'all there, weak, and EXTREMELY needy, and deserve out help, but sometimes, you have to let forest fire play itself out and run its course.
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"For example. They are in an abusive relationship for years. Cry about it for years. Don't take anyone's advice to get out for years. "

Fuck "getting back into one" - this is when I lose sympathy for the person.

You're in a bad situation but refuse to dig yourself out? You want my support and comfort but keep diving back into the same situations that make me use my time and energy to help you feel better? You want my help but you refuse to take it if it goes against staying in the relationship or whatever other misery you have?

Then you can just fuck right off, I don't have time for your nonsense. I have cut ties with friends before who pull this shtick and have threatened to do so in other cases. I'm not some toy because if I'm helping you I care about you but only so far as you're also willing to help yourself; no amount of pretty words and comfort can help someone truly unwilling to get the help they need.
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