Current Events > UK woman throws poop out of window on tinder date and had to be rescued after

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http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/woman-threw-poo-out-window-429022

Firefighters were called after a woman ended up stuck upside down hanging out of a window after she got wedged while trying to retrieve a poo.

Emergency services were forced to destroy the window of her date Liam’s student house in the process, but the poo was rescued.

Liam, who studying postgraduate sociology at Bristol University, told the story on a crowd funding page to raise money for a new window:

I recently took a girl I met on tinder to Nandos. We had a lovely night, and enjoyed each other’s company. After our meal, we repaired back to my house for a bottle of wine and a scientology documentary. About an hour in the date got up to use the toilet. She returned with a panicked look in her eye, and told me she had something to tell me.

'I went for a poo in your toilet', she told me 'and it would not flush. I don't know why I did this, but I panicked', she continued 'I reached into the toilet bowl, wrapped it in tissue paper, and threw it out of the window'.

I was understandably concerned, and told her we would go outside, bag up the offending poo in the garden, bin it, and pretend the whole sorry affair had never happened.

Unfortunately, owing to a design quirk of my house, the toilet window does not in fact open to the garden, but instead into a narrow gap of about a foot and a half, separated from the outside world by another (non-opening) double glazed window. It was into this twilight zone that my date had thrown her poo.

As can be seen in the picture, the inside window opens at the top, into the gap that is separated from the garden by a non-opening double-glazed window pane. Seeing only one solution, I messaged our house group-chat, and went upstairs to find a hammer and chisel to smash open the window.

My date had other ideas. Being an amateur gymnast, she was convinced that she could reach into the window and pull the poo out, using the tried and tested "inside out bag as glove" technique. Unfortunately she couldn't reach. She climbed further in and had the same problem. Eventually I agreed to give her a boost up and into the window.

She climbed in head first after her own turd, reached deeper into the window, bagged it up, and passed it out, over the top and back into the toilet from whence it came. She called out to me to help her climb out from the window, I grabbed her waist and pulled. But she was stuck. Try as we might, we could not remove her from the window. She was upside down in the gap.

Unfortunately for my date, at this stage I could see only one way out of our predicament. She had been upside down in the window for around 15 minutes at this point, and I was starting to grow concerned for her health. I called the fire brigade.

Bristol's finest were on scene sirens blaring in a matter of minutes. Once they had composed themselves after surveying the scene in front of them, they set to work removing my date from the window using all of their special firemen hammers and tools. It took them about 15 minutes.

Unfortunately, although they rescued my date unharmed from what must have been a rather unpleasant confined space to find yourself in, in the process they had to completely destroy the window with their special fire tools.

Avon Fire and Rescue service confirmed: We received a call at 22:41 to one female trapped between interior and exterior glass.

Two crews were sent from Temple station and she was rescued using hand tools.

Liam told the Bristol post that despite his date’s awkward ending he did see the woman again.

"We did go and meet for a drink to discuss setting up the crowdfunder," he said.

"She's a lovely girl – I'm not sure what’s going to happen – I'm really busy with my dissertation at the moment but I'd certainly be open to seeing her again."

it happens to the best of us
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Copypasta
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what the fuck
they literally copied an ancient copy-pasta and posted it on gofundme to get crowdfunding bucks. well it's worked. over 5 hundred pounds raised for a broken window and it's been up for 7 hours lul

they're really on to something. i like how they posted exactly three pictures of the embarrassing affair for proof. find a hilarious old 4chan copypasta or something, re-enact it and have a buddy take a few photos, then send it to the media and set up a gofundme.
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smoliske posted...

we repaired back to my house

Do the Brits really say this?
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^good story

childhood.

Eh, sometimes these things happen
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Back_Stabbath posted...

what the fuck
they literally copied an ancient copy-pasta and posted it on gofundme to get crowdfunding bucks. well it's worked. over 5 hundred pounds raised for a broken window and it's been up for 7 hours lul

they're really on to something. i like how they posted exactly three pictures of the embarrassing affair for proof. find a hilarious old 4chan copypasta or something, re-enact it and have a buddy take a few photos, then send it to the media and set up a gofundme.

lmao, my god some people just know how take advantage of the internet
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...and still no Skies if Arcadia sequel.

an all around shitty situation

While this might be fake it's really not a stretch to believe that this probably HAS happened in some corner of the globe.

the news story is real, but based on a copypasta. basically the media outlet is gullible as fuck

smoliske posted...

the news story is real, but based on a copypasta. basically the media outlet is gullible as fuck

Huh? Lol no it's not
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