Current Events > List of social customs anti-social people want retired (greetings, $ weddings)

(+) Yeah! (+)

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/6zetxa/what_social_custom_needs_to_be_retired/


Tipping, asking a parent for a blessing before merging families in a wedding.

You know the typical Reddit things

CruelBuffalo posted...

asking a parent for a blessing before merging families in a wedding

yeah screw that, demonstrates way too much family-orientation for my tastes

idc if that makes me some kinda stereotype
---

Balrog0 posted...

CruelBuffalo posted...

asking a parent for a blessing before merging families in a wedding

yeah screw that, demonstrates way too much family-orientation for my tastes

idc if that makes me some kinda stereotype

I mean you're merging families, you don't intend to spend any holidays with them, have them see the grandkids, have them pay for anything?

I mean I don't think asking for permission is right, because it's you and your wife's life. But a blessing is just a a talk with the family to see your intentions are pure and what advice do they have for the marriage

CruelBuffalo posted...

I mean you're merging families

I don't live in game of thrones times buddy, I'm marrying a single person

I do understand where you're coming from but that's exactly what I'm trying to express, I don't really want to be with someone who views marriage this way. Like, my parents wishes are only marginally relevant to me, the rest of my family's thoughts are literally irrelevant.

I realize not everyone feels this way ofc
---

Do people still ask for parent's blessing to marry someone in a country like the US?
---

I have always thought that weird bs of asking a girlfriend's parent for their daughter's hand in marriage was stupid.
---

well I guess I am a stereotype, @CruelBuffalo

lol
---

Balrog0 posted...

well I guess I am a stereotype, @CruelBuffalo

lol

lol I mean it's your life there isn't a wrong way to live it as long as you aren't hurting others.

I'm just saying you're missing out on some of the positives a marriage can bring. Wouldn't you want your kids to see their grandparents? Haha.

I mean unless you don't plan on having kids

tbh the reason I have such strong feelings about this is because my current girlfriend expects all that kinda stuff

she's way too family oriented for me, it's exhausting

I will probably end up doing exactly that... I just wish I wasnt in this position
---

lol does she have sisters/brothers? If so...God help you if you have kids XD them cousins gonna be playing a lot if y'all live near by each other

As someone who has a house and a wedding in two weeks these are some social customs I hate:
Expensive wedding celebrations
Expensive wedding rings
Fuck, anything having to do with wedding expenses
public apologies that mean jack shit
gender reveal parties
guys paying for everything
guys asking the girl out
---

CruelBuffalo posted...

I'm just saying you're missing out on some of the positives a marriage can bring. Wouldn't you want your kids to see their grandparents?

I'm kinda confused here. What does bringing over the future kids to the grandparents house have anything to do with a guy asking a girls parents for their blessing before asking her to marry. It's not necessary, once married the family will already be blended whether they like it or not. If they want to see the kids, they can. None of that involves asking the parents beforehand.
---

Twin3Turbo posted...

CruelBuffalo posted...

I'm just saying you're missing out on some of the positives a marriage can bring. Wouldn't you want your kids to see their grandparents?

I'm kinda confused here. What does bringing over the future kids to the grandparents house have anything to do with a guy asking a girls parents for their blessing before asking her to marry. It's not necessary, once married the family will already be blended whether they like it or not. If they want to see the kids, they can. None of that involves asking the parents beforehand.

Correct, but don't see how it hurts to follow social norms that don't harm anyone

Tipping is kind of outdated but blessings make sense, it's a sign of goodwill.

Tipping should fucking go away forever.

I didn't ask for permission to marry my wife and I wouldn't expect anyone to ask me for permission if I ever have daughters. Women aren't objects to be owned, so the idea of asking for permission is silly to me.

MikeArmstrong posted...

Tipping should fucking go away forever.

I didn't ask for permission to marry my wife and I wouldn't expect anyone to ask me for permission if I ever have daughters. Women aren't objects to be owned, so the idea of asking for permission is silly to me.

Once again. Blessing =/= permission

CruelBuffalo posted...

Twin3Turbo posted...

CruelBuffalo posted...

I'm just saying you're missing out on some of the positives a marriage can bring. Wouldn't you want your kids to see their grandparents?

I'm kinda confused here. What does bringing over the future kids to the grandparents house have anything to do with a guy asking a girls parents for their blessing before asking her to marry. It's not necessary, once married the family will already be blended whether they like it or not. If they want to see the kids, they can. None of that involves asking the parents beforehand.

Correct, but don't see how it hurts to follow social norms that don't harm anyone

Not following them doesn't harm anyone either.
---