Poll of the Day > man, the new pirates movie is kind of garbage

(+) Yeah! (+)

like what the fuck, it's like it was made in 2002 as a sequel to a movie that did sort of decent, but this one went straight to VHS

it's kind of shit.
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the acting in this movie is so goddamn bad

what the fuck happened
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also, spoilers for the compass

this movie is saying jack got the compass from his old captain, which is a complete and utter retcon, when we were flat out told that jack got the compass from tia dalma in the 3rd movie. it also retcons how jack became a pirate, too. there's no cutler becket slave ship story, it's he was a kid on a pirate ship, did some shit, and then he became captain and got his piece of nine. what the fuck

quigonzel posted...

Is it? Damn. I haven't seen the one before this one, either but I've heard that was shit, too.

no, stranger tides was decent. it was on par with pirates 2.

this one, though? i don't even understand a single thing that's happened. we've been watching for over an hour now, and i think only about 20 minutes of that was actual plot.

and barbossa, for having gotten a super sweet fucking sword in the last movie that essentially makes it so he doesn't need a crew, became a huge fucking bitch. like what the craaaaaaaaaaaap
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Been crap since the first, same with Transformers.
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kangle4 posted...

Been crap since the first, same with Transformers.

First was actually decent. Unlike the Transformers. The rest got progressively worse and worse.

Well, on one hand I know Hellies always lie but, on the other, I know that there hasn't been a good Pirates film since the first one. What do I believe?! What. do. I. believe?

HellHole_ posted...

also, spoilers for the compass

this movie is saying jack got the compass from his old captain, which is a complete and utter retcon, when we were flat out told that jack got the compass from tia dalma in the 3rd movie. it also retcons how jack became a pirate, too. there's no cutler becket slave ship story, it's he was a kid on a pirate ship, did some shit, and then he became captain and got his piece of nine. what the fuck

I hate it already.

HellHole_ posted...

no, stranger tides was decent. it was on par with pirates 2.

"On par with Pirates 2" = kinda sucked... well, had they not played up Jack's antics so much it might have been tolerable. Granted, half the problem was that it was adapted from a novel which was never meant to feature Jack.
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kangle4 posted...

Been crap since the first, same with Transformers.

I disagree on both accounts. Although The Curse of the Black Pearl is my favourite I enjoyed the Original trilogy a lot. Davy Jones in Dead Mans Chest was cool too. On Stranger Tides fell short in many areas and I thought the franchise was done after that however Dead Men Tell No Tales put the series back in the right direct for me and I enjoyed it. I have a few complaints about it like Barbossas daughter and his "death" but it's nothing major. Even more so when it's not the first time Barbossa has 'died'. It seems we will get a sequel too based on the end credits.

As for Transformers I enjoyed The Last Knight just as I've enjoyed all the others. Could they have been better? Absolutely but I wasn't bored watching them.
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spoilers for barbossa and end of movie

barbossa died, sure. but does that actually mean anything? it shouldn't. he died once, then returned with no reason. tia dalma brought him back, but there's no explanation for HOW she could possibly have done that.

what i expected, and what should have happened, is at the end, when henry is with whatever her name is, and they're on the cliff awaiting william to show up, and he does (Elizabeth does, too.) i fully expected barbossa to show up with william. william absolutely should have been able to save barbossa from his "death" by asking him to serve on the ship.

i also hate the after credits scene implied jones has returned. like what
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HellHole_ posted...

william absolutely should have been able to save barbossa from his "death" by asking him to serve on the ship.

Not possible since Will isn't cursed anymore. Jones may give him a spot on his ship.

HellHole_ posted...

i also hate the after credits scene implied jones has returned. like what

The Flying Dutchman needs to be manned no matter what. He's probably got a issue with Will thinking he can escape or because will isn't cursed anymore Jones is doomed to man the Dutchman again so he's pissed off.
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jones is dead. how can he come back alive if he is dead?

regardless of that, will is still captain of the dutchman, he can still do his job. the after credits scene, "jones" still had his fucked up crab claw and dropped barnacles. so if every curse is broken, why isn't his? how could he even still be alive?
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HellHole_ posted...

jones is dead. how can he come back alive if he is dead?

regardless of that, will is still captain of the dutchman, he can still do his job. the after credits scene, "jones" still had his fucked up crab claw and dropped barnacles. so if every curse is broken, why isn't his? how could he even still be alive?

I guess those questions will be answered in the sequel.
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i guess they will

a returning villain is so shit though

also, blackbeards sword was retconned to hell and back, too. and i just super hate how they turned barbossa into a bitch, and they really did not explain how

barbossa had that one tattoo on his arm, of the star constellation. that's...what? we know he gave whatsherface that book, and that's fine, but that barbossa knew about all of that, possibly even wrote that book, and had the gem, that means he absolutely knew about Poseidons spear. he knew absolutely where to go. so what the fuck?
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HellHole_ posted...

i guess they will

a returning villain is so shit though

Salazar was shit though so I'll take it. Perhaps Jones and Barbossa will team up.

HellHole_ posted...

i just super hate how they turned barbossa into a bitch, and they really did not explain how

I agree with this.

HellHole_ posted...

barbossa had that one tattoo on his arm, of the star constellation. that's...what? we know he gave whatsherface that book, and that's fine, but that barbossa knew about all of that, possibly even wrote that book, and had the gem, that means he absolutely knew about Poseidons spear. he knew absolutely where to go. so what the fuck?

Basically it all boils down to my daughter arr!
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nah, something tells me he's dead for good this time
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The first one is the only good one.
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