Poll of the Day > How much would it turn you off if a girl you were interested in already had a...

(+) Yeah! (+)

.....what? Most women have had kids by 30? maybe?

I personally could not do it unless I was a single father

It's too much drama. It sucks because there are A SHIT TON of single moms who are drop dead gorgeous :((((
---

I've considered it in the past. It's definitely not my first choice, and she's gotta be pretty the tits to make it work.
---

mastermix3000 posted...

I personally could not do it unless I was a single father

It's too much drama. It sucks because there are A SHIT TON of single moms who are drop dead gorgeous :((((

yeah a lot of girls have kids young and they still look really good even if they have a young kid

Tried this once...Didn't work...Would not try again. Too many complications. Might be different if I also had kids.
---

Peterass posted...

Tried this once...Didn't work...Would not try again. Too many complications. Might be different if I also had kids.

what do you consider to be the complications? I might even say that most of the women i see out and about that i'm attracted to already have a kid.

A mix of the second and third response. I wouldn't be against it but at the same time it really depends on why/how they were separated and how much ties the father still have in the life of the woman and child.

If a third person, me, is getting involved I need to know there's next to nothing left between the father and the the ex and child. Granted part of me also feels it is wrong to ax anything between the father and child depending on the reason for separation.
---

no kids
---

KazGT6 posted...

Peterass posted...

Tried this once...Didn't work...Would not try again. Too many complications. Might be different if I also had kids.

what do you consider to be the complications? I might even say that most of the women i see out and about that i'm attracted to already have a kid.

Oh.....many, many complications.

Here are some:

1. Life goals: When you're young and single, the world is at your feet. You care not for what others think and know no repercussions for most of your decisions. For single mums, not so much. Their goals will tend to gravitate towards her dreams for her children. That means there are things that she may abstain from that a young man may find boring or uninteresting. Her choices in career, education or even WHERE she lives will be determined by how she thinks will benefit her children.

2. Family dynamics and Partner expectations: Like it or not, any man she dates or associates with will be exposed to her children. She will expect the man to bond with them. Single mums ultimately will want a man to settle down with and assist her in raising her family; financial, emotional and physical.

3. Maturity levels: Girls become women when they have children. That means their levels of maturity shoot upwards in such a short time. Their personal passions and/or dreams are set aside for the betterment and planning
of the future of her children. She may want to date a young man as a testament to her youth but will eventually realise that she needs a man and not a boy.

There will be a lot of tension and awkwardness.

Of course I'm referring to genuine dating and not flings.
---

KazGT6 posted...

Peterass posted...

Tried this once...Didn't work...Would not try again. Too many complications. Might be different if I also had kids.

what do you consider to be the complications? I might even say that most of the women i see out and about that i'm attracted to already have a kid.

Some of the complications I faced:

1. I was not ready to have a "family" yet..She had two kids and it would've been a large financial burden, as well as limiting the freedom that she and I had to go out/travel anywhere.

2. Depending on the situation, the children's biological father may still be around and not someone you'd want in your life.

3. The kids will always be her priority. She may like you, but her kids will always come first.

4. The kids may not want you around or be comfortable around you..Could put stress on the relationship.

5. She never had any free time.. The needs of two children outweighed most other things in her life. That's perfectly fine, but was not what I was looking for.
---

That's a no go area for me. Unless it's my kid I'm not going to put in the time, money and effort in helping raise said kid. Plus chances are I'd get attached to the kid and if the relationship went tits up so does my relationship with the kid probably.
---

As someone who loves to travel, kids would just get in the way of that. And i want my girlfriend to be able to travel with me. So kids make it very difficult or impossible for me to have that
---

wwinterj25 posted...

Plus chances are I'd get attached to the kid and if the relationship went tits up so does my relationship with the kid probably.

This is the biggest reason why I would never do it unless I had been a single father.
---

Yea it's a pretty shitty situation imo. Wouldn't really go for single women if I had a kid. Unfair tbh
---

I'm 34, even women in the range that I usually go after (25 - 30) usually have kids by this point. I like them in the sense that they usually aren't the "Lets go to the club and get drunk!" type of women which I detest, but at the same time I hate kids so I don't want anything to do with their hell spawn.
---

I didn't have kids by my age. I don't need to feel responsible to care for the kids of someone who couldn't wrap it.

i am a woman and i would not date a man with children.
---

I'd be fine with it, as long as the kid isn't a hellion.
---

While I'm not okay with the idea, I'm also not in a position to be choosy about my life partner if I ever hope to have one, so... it wouldn't be an instant deal-breaker.

Only irresponsible sluts have 2 kids by 30. You need to seek a bigger pond...
---

And any over 30 and still single have some major underlying issues, good luck! Everyday is your last.
---

As long as it was 3 or older and not a douchebag, I wouldn't really care.
---

ferko420 posted...

Only irresponsible sluts have 2 kids by 30. You need to seek a bigger pond...

ferko420 posted...

And any over 30 and still single have some major underlying issues, good luck! Everyday is your last.

man who hurt you
---

ferko420 posted...

Only irresponsible sluts have 2 kids by 30.

.... or you know those in relationships.
---

Unfortunately, I will be in a situation that my first (real) girlfriend might already be divorced and have a kid.

TheWorstPoster posted...

Unfortunately, I will be in a situation that my first (real) girlfriend might already be divorced and have a kid.

lmao no woman would subject her child to you
---

mastermix3000 posted...

I personally could not do it unless I was a single father

It's too much drama. It sucks because there are A SHIT TON of single moms who are drop dead gorgeous :((((

---

Jen0125 posted...

lmao no woman would subject her child to you

I'm glad someone said what I thought when reading that.
---

Jen0125 posted...

TheWorstPoster posted...

Unfortunately, I will be in a situation that my first (real) girlfriend might already be divorced and have a kid.

lmao no woman would subject her child to you

I mean, he might be a perfectly normal person in meatspace, but obnoxious in cyberspace.
---

I don't think it'd be that big of a deal. Just gotta go into it knowing the kid comes first. The only downside would be what winter said, if things fall through you'd likely be hurting the kid too.
---

I'd tell her we could date as long as I didn't have to see her kid. She'd probably say no, but who knows? It'd be worth a try if she was hot.