Current Events > My co-worker says he and his wife sleep in separate beds each night

(+) Yeah! (+)

I work with this guy who lives with his wife in a nice 3BR condo. He says, on most nights, he and his wife will sleep in separate beds in different rooms. He claims it's perfectly normal, and this isn't because they're having any problems or relationship issues. He says it's because they work on different schedules and don't want to wake each other up in the night/morning when the other gets up or goes to bed.

I found this kind of odd, but maybe I'm being too judgmental. Is it bizarre for a married couple to sleep in separate beds at night?
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I don't know how to feel about this, I sleep on the same bed as my wife because it's one of the few times we actually can talk and share intimacy with one another during our busy week. My wife gets up 5am in the morning and it does wake me, but I just immediately go back to sleep.
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I don't really think it really matters if it's weird if it works for them. But, yeah, it's kind of weird in a romantic partnership.
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Reasoning makes sense.
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I don't know about the whole "different rooms" part of it (though it makes sense since they work different schedules), but I would totally be on board with sleeping in different beds with my hypothetical wife. I personally get next to no sleep when sharing a bed with someone.

It is odd in the sense that it's out of the ordinary, but I don't think it's odd in terms of practicality.
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wow what a soyboy smh
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Muffinz0rz posted...

It is odd in the sense that it's out of the ordinary, but I don't think it's odd in terms of practicality.

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i went to high school with a girl whose parents slept in separate beds, but i have no idea if it was for schedules/etc like those folks. it seemed strange to me at the time.
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I think different beds is okay, but different rooms...
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Been with my wife for over 5 years and we have never shared a bed or room....but I don't know how common it is for other people.
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I've heard of people doing this before honestly for perfectly good reasons
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ZCheveyo posted...

Been with my wife for over 5 years and we have never shared a bed or room....but I don't know how common it is for other people.

Do you guys have a master bedroom, and if so who is sleeping in it then?
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usually happens later on in the relationship from what I've seen (like...20 or 30 years into it)

i slept on the couch last night because i stayed up late and my wife is pregnant and gave me a death glare that said "if you wake me up i will eat you"

@Cpt_Pineapple

well?
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This isn't odd at all, it's quite common among rich(er) people who work different shifts.

If you're a doctor who has to be up at 6AM do you really want your wife bursting into the room at 3AM talking about how her day was?

Usually they share a bed when they're together and let each other sleep when they are apart.

Really this is only dying out because the middle class is dying out and people can't afford the luxury of an extra bedroom
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My parents do that because they both snore so bad. Whichever one falls asleep 1st snores so much that the other one can't sleep.
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a bit unorthodox, but if it works for them then whatever.

Right now my fiance is taking college classes and works as a barback on weekend evening nights, so he's used to going to bed at some time between midnight and 4 am, waking up around 10 am, and often takes a nap at some point in the day.

Meanwhile I'm an engineering office drone who works M-F 8-5. I'm always up before he is and we go to bed together maybe twice a week.

We sleep in the same bed but the interaction is minimal, as I'm often dead asleep when he comes up. But then again we live in a 1BR. Dunno if it'd be different in a larger place.

I wake him every work day to kiss him goodbye and we tell each other to have a good day, but he often rolls back over anyways.
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both my sets of grandparents did this. in different rooms too. I think both my grandpas snored and it kept my grandmas up

mattnd2007 posted...

My parents do that because they both snore so bad. Whichever one falls asleep 1st snores so much that the other one can't sleep.

I can understand this. That was one of the first things I asked my wife (in a jokingly manner of course) was if she snored when we were first dating. I'm a fairly light sleeper and I have lost sleep before because my younger brother snores like a monster.
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Prestoff posted...

Do you guys have a master bedroom, and if so who is sleeping in it then?

I gave her the master bedroom. I have an adjustable bed and medical equipment that I just wasn't moving that far. My breathing machines make too much noise for her and I have to sleep in a certain angle and position to not....die.
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Sounds like Admiral needs to mind his fucking business.
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ZCheveyo posted...

Prestoff posted...

Do you guys have a master bedroom, and if so who is sleeping in it then?

I gave her the master bedroom. I have an adjustable bed and medical equipment that I just wasn't moving that far. My breathing machines make too much noise for her and I have to sleep in a certain angle and position to not....die.

Damn, sorry about that. I mean I guess as long as it works for both parties. I guess I'm old fashioned which is why I'm so ignorant on this subject manner. This topic certainly opened my eyes.
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CirocObama posted...

Im def gonna do this when me and my gf move in. I already told her too, she wasnt too happy about it.

Im up at 5:15 though and shes a but of a bed hog so it can be hard to get a good nights sleep with her.

We compromised and we'll share a bed friday/saturday night.

Tread lightly...I broke up with my ex because she wanted someone with whom she could sleep every night. I knew I wouldn't be happy because I can't sleep in the same bed as someone, but I knew she wouldn't be happy with separate beds, so we broke up because I knew there was someone out there better for her who not only would tolerate sleeping in the same bed, but would actively prefer it.
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My parents sleep in separate beds because my dad wakes up at 4am and my mom at 7 for work. I always thought that was the norm my whole life lol
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I would prefer to do that. I like having my own private space, so I would need a room all to myself anyway, whether or not it was a bedroom. I just don't think the odds are that great I'll meet a chick that prefers to sleep in a room with temperatures in the 50s, or in the summer (and some of spring and fall) having the air conditioner blow directly at the bed from just a few feet away.
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Honestly, as a Christian, you shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed unless you're trying to have a baby.
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Sounds like either the marriage isn't working out or they're an old couple
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OpheliaAdenade posted...

Honestly, as a Christian, you shouldn't be sleeping in the same bed unless you're trying to have a baby.

Lol
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That shit is exactly why I have OpheliaAdenade on ignore
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The Admiral posted...

He says it's because they work on different schedules and don't want to wake each other up in the night/morning when the other gets up or goes to bed.

Sounds perfectly reasonable.
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Maybe the guy or the girl moves too much in bed for the other one to be comfortable.
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uh yeah it's normal, i know plenty of couples that do that

you're just sheltered and ignorant

prince_leo posted...

Muffinz0rz posted...

It is odd in the sense that it's out of the ordinary, but I don't think it's odd in terms of practicality.

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My father used to do that because he had insomnia
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If there's a legit reason for it (like different work shifts as mentioned there) I think it's normal yeah.

Couples can do whatever they want to make it work for them.
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bulletproofvita posted...

OpheliaAdenade posted...

Christian

Lol

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Cpt_Pineapple posted...

coworker getting cucked

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This is actually quite common.
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My best friend's parents have had different beds (and different rooms) for like three decades and they're still going strong.

It seemed so bizarre at first but now I think it's what I'd need to do to be in a relationship myself. I have sleep problems and, even on a good night, I'm just a light sleeper in general. Same room would be fine, but I don't think I could deal with the tossing and turning of another person. Or their body heat, for that matter. Hell - you can buy frames made for two twin beds side-by-side, and that'd be enough.
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