Current Events > Heard from my ex. She's not doing good.

(+) Yeah! (+)

Been with her for years, until she went nuts and we broke up a bit less than a year ago.

She had a sweet side but she used to go completely nuts sometimes. I always felt she might have been an undiagnosed bipolar or something, but what do I know.

Anyway, so she came back from college in April and went to live in her parents home. It seems this only lasted a few months because she was so aggressive and so impatient that she was literally screaming at her mom every day. Apparently she would throw a huge fit if she wanted to wash her clothes and found out that her mom already had stuff in the washing machine. Things like that. She got so pissed off at her mom that she moved to her sister's place.

She's been staying with her sister until now. And it seems she's been screaming at her sister every day over the tiniest stuff like dishes not being washed properly or not being enough toilet paper left. Also her sister doesn't have her own washer and dryer in the apartment so they have to use the one on the floor that is shared with the other tenants, which obviously made her super irritable.

And now her sister finally had enough and gave her an ultimatum to find her own place, which she can't afford.

Her cousins don't want to take her. None of her friends will either. She's basically alienated her entire family and lost the friends she had left.

Now she wants to move in with me. Looks like I'm her last resort.

Should I be a chump or should I be a man?
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Walk away

Being a man means having the self respect to walk away

Tell her to fuck off
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I don't know. Do you still love her?
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You sound like you might be more nuts than her for considering this

also why is she not getting professional help?

That's not a bullet man. That is an ICBM aimed directly at you.

Nope out of that.
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ShadowofSolidus posted...

I don't know. Do you still love her?

Hard to answer. I love part of her. I hate the shit out of the other part.
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You're her last resort.
That alone should tell you how much she values still knowing you...

People take her in and she still treats them like shit.
But if you're into masochism, let the bitch move in.

You probably will since you're gullible enough to even bother thinking this over.


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If you do decide to let her in, let it be only under the condition that she must see a psychiatrist and gets medication if needed before you'll ever open the door to let her in.
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Sounds like a spoiled entitled immature brat. Walk.

If somebody's letting you stay at their place, you kiss their ass every opportunity you get. That's basic human decency.
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Just know that if you do, it'll be the biggest mistake of your life
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Omnislasher posted...

You sound like you might be more nuts than her for considering this

Probably.

Omnislasher posted...

also why is she not getting professional help?

Well she did talk about it. She's the kind of person who breaks down in tears telling you that they need help, but then the next day they don't need help anymore its everyone else who needs help.

That, and also because she has no money.
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frozenshock posted...

That, and also because she has no money.

Not entirely difficult to figure out why she's got no job.

She needs to get diagnosed and get on disability, that seems like the only real option.
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frozenshock posted...

Well she did talk about it. She's the kind of person who breaks down in tears telling you that they need help, but then the next day they don't need help anymore its everyone else who needs help.

yeah, i expected that. that's when family/friends are supposed to intervene

she sounds almost worthy of being committed

frozenshock posted...

Also her sister doesn't have her own washer and dryer in the apartment so they have to use the one on the floor that is shared with the other tenants, which obviously made her super irritable.

how HORRIBLE
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Naysaspace posted...

Walk away

Being a man means having the self respect to walk away

Best advice of the day

I don't think TC realises how fucked up Bi-polar really is. She needs to see a doctor.

ClockworkHare posted...

You're her last resort.
That alone should tell you how much she values still knowing you...

People take her in and she still treats them like shit.
But if you're into masochism, let the bitch move in.

You probably will since you're gullible enough to even bother thinking this over.

She wouldn't want to be with you if she had another option. She is a user and you are desperate if you are going to accept that while knowing full well of that.
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If you let her move in, will she give you no-strings-attached sex?
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I grew up with a severely paranoid mom and I worked for years in a community center filled with crazies (mostly homeless people and welfare recipients... drug addicts, alcoholics, etc). I guess I just got used to being around crazies since it's been my entire life story basically. I developed the patience of a Buddha in a way.

When we were together I was basically the only one who was able to calm her down. I mean, I spent most of my life calming down crazy people. I guess her family was super happy that I was there because it was like "ok, she's your problem now." At least that's what it felt like sometimes. It was really tough for me though. Having to be super patient all the time really eats you up.
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Dyinglegacy posted...

If you let her move in, will she give you no-strings-attached sex?

this is obviously what he is counting on

TC you should have other action going on

Unless her whole family are some die-hard religious conservatives or something, I would never trust a girl who has alienated her entire family. Especially with women, well, that's pretty hard to do. With guys, there can be a lot of reasons that a family wants them to move out, at least in America. But women are usually given a lot of leeway in this regard. So she must be really going over the line again and again.
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masticatingman posted...

Unless her whole family are some die-hard religious conservatives or something, I would never trust a girl who has alienated her entire family. Especially with women, well, that's pretty hard to do. With guys, there can be a lot of reasons that a family wants them to move out, at least in America. But women are usually given a lot of leeway in this regard. So she must be really going over the line again and again.

Well they're pretty religious, but it's not really because of that. It just happened gradually over the years.

When she was in college her family would call her every day at first, then they were calling every week, then every month... by the end of her studies they were not calling very often, and they all wanted someone else to call for them. Basically, whenever they would call her she would do nothing but complain about her classes and her teachers and would just scream "you don't understand anything!" whenever anyone tried to offer a word of advice.

With time, I guess all this pent up aggressiveness just drives people away, even family. Not many people want to deal with someone who's never happy and always complaining about something or being impatient about something.
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Need pics to decide.
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have you considered that maybe the reason she acts like an ungrateful brat is because people keep bailing her out before she ever learned to be independent from hitting rock bottom?
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frozenshock posted...

masticatingman posted...

Unless her whole family are some die-hard religious conservatives or something, I would never trust a girl who has alienated her entire family. Especially with women, well, that's pretty hard to do. With guys, there can be a lot of reasons that a family wants them to move out, at least in America. But women are usually given a lot of leeway in this regard. So she must be really going over the line again and again.

Well they're pretty religious, but it's not really because of that. It just happened gradually over the years.

When she was in college her family would call her every day at first, then they were calling every week, then every month... by the end of her studies they were not calling very often, and they all wanted someone else to call for them. Basically, whenever they would call her she would do nothing but complain about her classes and her teachers and would just scream "you don't understand anything!" whenever anyone tried to offer a word of advice.

With time, I guess all this pent up aggressiveness just drives people away, even family. Not many people want to deal with someone who's never happy and always complaining about something or being impatient about something.

Sounds like a raging bitch that is asking to be put on the street. Not really sure how else to put it. Maybe you see something in her, but she's clearly a-OK with pushing away all her loved ones. Not seeing how she would instantaneously change and be on her best behavior for you. Just because you dated her doesn't mean you have an obligation to help her out, at all. In fact, it'd be a reason why you shouldn't help her out. Find a girl that has her shit together.
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frozenshock posted...

I grew up with a severely paranoid mom and I worked for years in a community center filled with crazies (mostly homeless people and welfare recipients... drug addicts, alcoholics, etc). I guess I just got used to being around crazies since it's been my entire life story basically. I developed the patience of a Buddha in a way.

When we were together I was basically the only one who was able to calm her down. I mean, I spent most of my life calming down crazy people. I guess her family was super happy that I was there because it was like "ok, she's your problem now." At least that's what it felt like sometimes. It was really tough for me though. Having to be super patient all the time really eats you up.

I'm actually in a very similar situation you are, except it's not an ex, or lover. Because my situation is a little bit worse than yours, i would say to take her in. At least you will retain some of your dignity, pride, and will still be able to stand tall like the man you are. Being patient all the time will not strip you of those rights.
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This sounds so eerily like what I went threw with an ex. Pretty sure mine was addicted to opioids on top of the bi polar.

Get away while you can. All it will do is cause you problems. I was foolish and bailed her out over and over. Pretty sure I gave her close to 10,000 for a little under a year because she knew how to play me.

Always had the sob story of how I was the only one she had. Only one that understood her. Family wants nothing to do with her. Her babys daddy is trying to get custody and I foolishly helped her get a lawyer.

Even when I said no she would guilt me into it.

Get out now and dont look back. Block her number social media everything. She will move onto someone else. Dont end up like me.
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You are absolutely out of your fucking mind if you let her into your home. The fact that you are even considering this as an option makes me think that you should also be seeking professional help.
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Why the hell would you take in a psychopathic?

LMFAO now she wants to leech you dry of all your resources too. Tell her to fuck off TC. You dated once, you didn't grow up together.
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is you dumb? or is you just ignant?
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men just arent men anymore

Im just waiting for the part where TC reveals that hes going forward with letting her stay with him.
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Electrokinesis posted...

Im just waiting for the part where TC reveals that hes going forward with letting her stay with him.

I can't, really. It's just not possible.
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au_gold posted...

Need pics to decide.

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Lorenzo_2003 posted...

You are absolutely out of your fucking mind if you let her into your home. The fact that you are even considering this as an option makes me think that you should also be seeking professional help.

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Why is this still being argued? Obviously TC has already decided that he's going to make her his problem, he's just here to get others to validate his decision. Dude, if you want to let her into your life again to get your D wet, then all the best to you, but you don't need others validation. Just know what they say about shoving your D in crazy.

Re-iNcarnated posted...

Why is this still being argued? Obviously TC has already decided that he's going to make her his problem, he's just here to get others to validate his decision. Dude, if you want to let her into your life again to get your D wet, then all the best to you, but you don't need others validation. Just know what they say about shoving your D in crazy.

It's more an emotional struggle than physical for me to be honest.

But I can't take her back, because I'm back in school myself. I have exams to study for. I just don't think it's possible for me to dedicate the time I need to dedicate to my studies if she's there.

Anyway, she's not going to understand. She never does, really. I shouldn't be surprised.
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Tell her you'll think it over, meet up one night and plow her, and the next day tell her no.

Will be awesome lol.
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If she wants to stay with you. Tell her these are the rules. Find a mental health professional. Sign her up. Have the therapist report directly to you and let her know this. If she misses two consecutive meetings or two in a month she's gone.
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Being the man in this situation is showing her the street. You can't perpetuate something that needs to be addressed and moving in with you will just delay seeking help.
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NOM posted...

Tell her you'll think it over, meet up one night and plow her, and the next day tell her no.

Will be awesome lol.

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I live with an ex because Id been lonely after a different breakup, and because she contributes to rent, which allows me to afford things I couldnt otherwise. But its a struggle. Shes a good-intentioned moocher. Alcoholic and irresponsible. Needy. It sometimes feels like more than I signed up for, and that Im the last branch shes managed to grab onto on her way down.

Pros: sex, money, company
Cons: exhaustion, moodiness

Remember that living with someone is a completely different animal than spending time with them. I enjoy the company but I miss being alone.
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Its sad to say but you need to leave her be.

Shes only going to hurt you, scream at you, maybe try to f*** around with you to keep you from getting mad at her, or f*** other people in your house.

Either way you dont need it. Its unhealthy. You shouldnt ever really talk to her she sounds like a bad person
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EnragedSlith posted...

I live with an ex because Id been lonely after a different breakup, and because she contributes to rent, which allows me to afford things I couldnt otherwise. But its a struggle. Shes a good-intentioned moocher. Alcoholic and irresponsible. Needy. It sometimes feels like more than I signed up for, and that Im the last branch shes managed to grab onto on her way down.

Pros: sex, money, company
Cons: exhaustion, moodiness

Remember that living with someone is a completely different animal than spending time with them. I enjoy the company but I miss being alone.

Is this the roommate whose friend was trying to get with you earlier?

Re-iNcarnated posted...

ClockworkHare posted...

You're her last resort.
That alone should tell you how much she values still knowing you...

People take her in and she still treats them like shit.
But if you're into masochism, let the bitch move in.

You probably will since you're gullible enough to even bother thinking this over.

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If it's not bipolar disorder then it's borderline personality disorder. Either way, she needs help and it isn't the kind of help you'd be able to give her, no matter how patient or understanding you are. She needs a professional. And like others said, she is not your problem. She will only make your life more miserable. Tell her if she really wants your help then the best way you can offer that would be to help her find a professional to talk to or going to her first appointment with her. And that's only if you REALLLLY feel like you have to help her. Which you don't. And shouldn't.
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It's not being a chump-if she alienated you then it's up to her family. If she's sent them off too then there's no reason for you to get involved unless you want to get back with her.
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If you were with her for a long time and really care about her, do what you can for her. If not letting her stay with you, then just something. What that is, I can't say. Depends on your situation.

I was with my ex for a long time and I'll always love her and help her if she needs it(and I can actually do so).

If you can't do it, you can't do it, though. Don't just do it for sex or because you think she'll change. You know her and we don't, helping her might be doing something else.
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