Current Events > Is a transgender person obligated to come out before date/sex?

(+) Yeah! (+)

Yes, this is one of the first things that needs to be disclosed
---

Asherlee10 posted...

Funbazooka posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

I am not sure that's related to the original post in this comment string. I take it to mean that if you approach someone you are physically attracted to at a bar and they end up being a transperson, then you're attracted to that person on some level.

You're talking about bait-and-switch.

The guy's still hetero in this scenario, just that he was fooled.

I don't follow how it is a bait-and-switch. I think the problem is setting labeled sexuality ahead of the initial attraction.

People know their sexual orientation.
---

Yes.
---

Asherlee10 posted...

Resolution posted...

Asherlee10 posted...

I am not sure that's related to the original post in this comment string. I take it to mean that if you approach someone you are physically attracted to at a bar and they end up being a transperson, then you're attracted to that person on some level.

Yeah, it's suggesting that because they weren't immediately turned off by something they couldn't tell, that it can't simply just be a preference for cis people and it's a sign of "disgust". It's a flawed point that's stated in the most dramatic manner; that's why it's not well put.

And I think TC posted it in defense of the idea that transpeople shouldn't have to disclose their birth sex, even if the article itself doesn't talk about that.

I'm having trouble following your first paragraph above.

Re: In defense of -- that may be so, but I noted that I was not suggesting that it is a justification to disclose or not disclose their birth sex.

I'll restate it

What I'm basically saying is that excerpt from the article is very dramatic and doesn't consider the possibility that you could just be turned off by transpeople without being "disgusted" by the concept. And naturally its point that you can't not be sexually attracted to transpeople when you find a transperson at a bar (which could very easily be someone who passes for a cisperson) that you're attracted to enough to want to pursue intimacy is flawed. It contradicts the concept of most turnoffs, which you aren't going to immediately discover the first time to you see someone.

I wasn't really talking about whether or not it's justified to disclose their birth sex when I attacked that excerpt, just pointing out the possible reason why TC posted it.
---

I don't really know how to clarify it any further than that besides "I don't think that excerpt is well put because it suggests you can't be turned off by transpeople if you meet a transperson at a bar that you want to pursue"

You know that that's what it meant and agreed with it

But then what about smokers? If I find someone who's hot, want to pursue them, without knowing that they smoke, does it automatically mean I'm not turned off by smoking?
---

Eevee-Trainer posted...

In an ideal world, no.

All due respect but.... Fuck off with that. Everyone has a right to know who they're sleeping with.
---

LOL YES

letters

If this answer is yes, shouldn't this be a two-way street to make it fair and equal? Both cis and trans people should disclose their identity.

All due respect but.... f*** off with that. Everyone has a right to know who they're sleeping with.

Thank you for ignoring the rest of that post and several after where I basically agreed with you. :)
---

If this answer is yes, shouldn't this be a two-way street to make it fair and equal? Both cis and trans people should disclose their identity.

I mean, most of the population is cis so it's a pretty safe assumption unless told otherwise. *shrug*

I mean, sure, put it all out on the table, but you're not going to surprise anyone unless they're exclusively looking for trans people. Which are probably rarer than trans people themselves, I imagine.
---

averagejoel posted...

there are people who get murdered because they're transgender. therefore, it can be important for their safety to remain inside the closet. full stop.

Yeah until you have sex

You're more than likely to get assaulted for that than being trans
---

I think it's definitely something more important to bring up for dating versus sex. If you're a man building a life with a transwoman you should be informed that you two won't have biological children together. And to some men that means the world to them. Same goes for any other routes. Since it's long term, all parties should be informed of what their relationsihp dynamics are.

I think for sex it's something courteous to do, particularly if you still have your biological parts.

Funbazooka posted...

Sylph posted...

Is a person that is a violent psychopath obligated to come out before date/sex?

wtf?

If your response to finding out that a person isn't what you expected is to attack and/or kill them, congratulations, you are a violent psychopath. Sure, lying is shitty, but the other one is just mentally unstable.
---