Current Events > A liberal marxist professor was teaching a class on religious studies

(+) Yeah! (+)

The sweat hung precariously from the corner of the professor's impossibly smug chin. Proudly, he scanned the room for signs of opposition to what he was about to say. After picking out the WASPs (white anglo-saxon protestants) and immediately failing them from the class, he cleared his throat and began to speak.

"Today we must start our lecture by ritualistically urinating on a crucifix. It is the only way to prove Darwin's superiority over religion. Only then shall we apply our superior Nietzsche theory to the grim vestiges of humanity's dark ages."

"Yes, we shall ascend from the dark ages," the class listlessly murmured. Except one.

A lone man - an ex green beret who fought twelve tours of duty in Operation Iraqi Freedom even after losing both his limbs and even one arm, stood up slowly.

With his prosthetic arm and hand, he held up a simple "fossil" of a "cambrian" arthropod. The professor grinned slyly, awaiting his opportunity to chastise the poor man into tears.

"Professor. Do you know that which I hold in my hand?" the man calmly opined.

"Ha! Look at this superannuated foolish man! Of course I know what that is. It is a Trilobite, and it is hundreds of millions of years old!"

The professor cackled like a witch prior to an exorcism.

Unfazed, the man calmly replied "If, as you say, it is indeed hundreds of millions of years old, and evolution is true, why hasn't the fossilized animal inside reanimated due to evolution?"

At that very moment, the professor fell to his knees and wept. He immediately repented for his sins. The entire class joined him. A bald eagle carrying an American flag and a copy of the Declaration of Independence flew onto the lectern, and the professor and all his pupils signed the Declaration and prayed.

The professor, whose sins far outweighed his turn to righteousness, was immediately afflicted with Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease and spent the rest of his days uttering jibberish - which, as it turns out, was no different than his lectures.

That man?

Anthony Scaramucci

Semper Fi.
---

This thread is art
---

Saving this glorious post
---

E
A
G
L
E
S
EAGLES!!!

YAyyy
---

I'll get around to writing another tonight
---

bump
---

A Marxist teaching a religion class certainly sounds about right.
---

I will never get tired of these
---

FYI variations on this copypasta used to be moddable
---

Coffeebeanz posted...

After picking out the WASPs (white anglo-saxon protestants) and immediately failing them from the class

dead lmao
---

PS Build the wall.
---

lmao
---

what's The Mooch up to these days
---

averagejoel posted...

FYI variations on this copypasta used to be moddable

But I wrote this one from scratch so it's ok
---

this made me smile
good stuff
---