Board 8 > Stalker-lady story revival.

(+) Yeah! (+)

If you missed last month's talk about this lady: a woman I met three times kept trying to figure out where I live, wanted constant contact, and put a knife in my hand after asking me if she scared me. There's more, but that's the gist of my issues before I told her I don't want any contact anymore.

Anyway, I had previously guided her to two theatre companies I work with and she's been cast in both since then. This topic's about the conclusion of our separate shows tonight in the first company's festival.

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We had seen each others' shows we acted in for this festival, no harm there at all.

Tonight was closing for each of our plays in the festival so there was a group dinner afterward. I got there before she did and by the time she arrived there were only two seats available...two empty seats to my right, and she picked the one closest to me.

She asked me if I wanted to go to her car to pick up a friend's CD he once made, and I had no idea what she was talking about. Apparantly we talked about his CD before? She led off with this and I said later.

She also asked me to come to a comedy show she hosts after dinner, and I said I was staying with a friend she met the last time we were together. She then texts my friend to invite us both to her show. I told her I would text him, and she asked if I was gonna tell him not to come to her show. I said whatever and she got mad I whatever'd her.

She asked me where I was parked as I was leaving and I pointed to one side of the street...but I was walking another friend to his car who knew not to leave me alone with her. As I turned the other way out, I know she saw me go that other way because she brought out my umbrella I left under the table. Whoops. Legit-thankful she gave me the umbrella back, but she probably thinks I lied to her now. I didn't, so she better not build a temper against me over this.

I've warned some of my closest theatre friends about her since dinner tonight to be aware of our situation, to not leave me alone with her, and to not talk to her about me. It sounds like she's having an awkward start making friends with this first company anyway -- a bad joke about jealousy, some other little stuff that makes for tough first impressions -- but no one else I talked to had anything like my experience yet so at least that.

I'm not talking to the second company yet about this clingy stalky lady...trying not to talk shit just for gossip in this community she's about to join, but she still doesn't seem to care about me previously asking her to leave me alone. She's cognizant of me telling her to stop too, or she wouldn't have made that comment about texting my friend.

She needs to stop. Blah.
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Restraining order?
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I've wondered. She had one moment of feared violence (knife-bit), where I then told her to get lost. I don't quite think last night was enough to get a restraining order since then...? She's walking a fine line though between being an asshole and trying to be whatever friendly gestures she thinks these might look like.

She knows what I said. She's crossing boundaries I asked her not to cross again and there's been a common thread in our meetings of trying to isolate me with the use of vehicles, so maybe...just hard to say when it's truly next-level drama.
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HaRRicH posted...

I told her I would text him, and she asked if I was gonna tell him not to come to her show. I said whatever and she got mad I whatever'd her.

is this what you were going to text him
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I did text him -- "Where you at hoss?" He told me where he was then and where he was about to go, and that was that. She was wrong.

I'm now not sure if I had already texted him before she made that comment or if she said it before I sent it...hard to remember now, but I wasn't going to text what she said anyway because I didn't want her to see me texting that beside her.
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wow how can she expect to be a good stalker if she doesn't even have good insight...
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I don't understand why every time she asks you to do something you respond with ambiguity leaning towards a yes. "Wanna go do a thing?" "later." "Wanna come to a show?" "oh maybe I'm with my friend that you also know" "friend can come too" "k ill text him"

These don't sound like no to me?
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Crowd of people + nice instincts in the moment. I was very clear in my final text to her a few weeks ago...not saying you're wrong though.
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These latest interactions seem awkward, yet normal. Maybe she's actually trying to keep in contact and not be stalkery? Even though you basically told her off before. I dunno.
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based on the stories you've posted on board 8 I can tell you definitely have a very strong instinct to say something you think is nice instead of saying how you really feel. not trying to victim blame here but like Cly I do think this might be a contributing factor to your current stalker problem.
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Hoss is a good place to eat.
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as somebody who would almost certainly have a lot of the same responses as you I am nonetheless inclined to agree with cly and maria
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Good notes, can apply for the future. I ain't around people who give flat uncaring no-answers a lot in social situations for no reason other than "I don't want to," so I don't have a lot to pull from on this and struggle. =/

Thanks.
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aren't you an actor or something

just act like someone who know how to say "I don't think that's a good idea, sorry"
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