Current Events > Unless you're attractive or charismatic, you're f'd after college for dating

(+) Yeah! (+)

I'm not going to go on a tirade against women that would be hypocritical I admit I've always wanted a pretty girl. It's human nature to want to go for someone you're attracted to.

But the reality if you don't got an it factor you just aren't desirable. There just isn't a place for everyone and I get tired of being fed the bs be myself and I'll find somebody. No I won't. That's part of the thing being myself means I'm sure as hell not putting myself out there for anything on two legs with a vagina. Only been interested in a handful of girls really interested in and not a large network to work with outside of school.

So the other options is to change yourself. And that's something I've been working on for 15 years but it isn't a switch that will bring you success. There was a girl who seemed almost too perfect but I knew she probably wasn't interested maybe for a very short period of time but that changed quickly, maybe I could have given a second go but here's the the fucked thing about my psychology you find someone good enough to change for, but it ultimately means you simply aren't good enough for them.

Now everyone is different, I don't expect anyone to necessarily understand or sympathize but the point is, there just isn't going availability or probability for everyone the World doesn't work that way. Power to ya if ya find a way around it but there's going to be foreveralones because success is the last thing you can expect in life, and not everyone is suited to adjust to become successful.
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And if you're like me and was shy in high school and din't go to college, you're beyond fucked at having a love life. I've been single for 14 years now, and I know the reason is because I was too shy and wasn't "creepy" to the girls I went to school with, meaning that I thought women hated men coming on to them, so I never did.

That's a fucking lie, women like bold men, but I didn't know that until it was too late.
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You have to find a girl who is attracted to you. There are lots of girls of various attractiveness levels out there, and some will like you.
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You're bumming me out. Change that part.
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How do dudes here have such issues like damn? I'm like a 6 or a 7 goofy looking former scene kid and I've still dated hot women fairly regularly after college.

There isn't a secret. Just don't act like a goon and it really isn't that difficult.
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check out my pro tips
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Pepys Monster posted...

You have to find a girl who is attracted to you. There are lots of girls of various attractiveness levels out there, and some will like you.

Didn't find one in hs or three years when I was living in the college dorms, nor amongst the 20-25+ girls I met through my cousins.

I mean I could put out a fake personality and try hitting on more girls but
1. That kinda falls under sexual harassment
2. Not a very good actor to begin with
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GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

You have to find a girl who is attracted to you. There are lots of girls of various attractiveness levels out there, and some will like you.

Didn't find one in hs or three years when I was living in the college dorms, nor amongst the 20-25+ girls I met through my cousins.

I mean I could put out a fake personality and try hitting on more girls but
1. That kinda falls under sexual harassment
2. Not a very good actor to begin with

Let's be real here, you probably turned down a couple girls in high school, and maybe even a couple girls in college. And a couple girls turned you down too. That's just life. You don't need a fake personality. You just have to meet more women.
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the average person is so far below what we think of as 'average' it's ridiculous

the best advice to anyone struggling in romance is "lower your standards until you've bettered yourself."
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CiIantro posted...

that looks like Andy Samberg's face shoped onto a Chad bod
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Pepys Monster posted...

GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

You have to find a girl who is attracted to you. There are lots of girls of various attractiveness levels out there, and some will like you.

Didn't find one in hs or three years when I was living in the college dorms, nor amongst the 20-25+ girls I met through my cousins.

I mean I could put out a fake personality and try hitting on more girls but
1. That kinda falls under sexual harassment
2. Not a very good actor to begin with

Let's be real here, you probably turned down a couple girls in high school, and maybe even a couple girls in college. And a couple girls turned you down too. That's just life. You don't need a fake personality. You just have to meet more women.

In my 28 years of living, I've turned down a whopping total of 1 girl at a random party who I knew nothing about other than that her friends were trying to hook her up with me, have no idea what she herself actually thought of me.

I'm probably gonna need a fake personality just to be able meet more women.
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GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

You have to find a girl who is attracted to you. There are lots of girls of various attractiveness levels out there, and some will like you.

Didn't find one in hs or three years when I was living in the college dorms, nor amongst the 20-25+ girls I met through my cousins.

I mean I could put out a fake personality and try hitting on more girls but
1. That kinda falls under sexual harassment
2. Not a very good actor to begin with

Let's be real here, you probably turned down a couple girls in high school, and maybe even a couple girls in college. And a couple girls turned you down too. That's just life. You don't need a fake personality. You just have to meet more women.

In my 28 years of living, I've turned down a whopping total of 1 girl at a random party who I knew nothing about other than that her friends were trying to hook her up with me, have no idea what she herself actually thought of me.

I'm probably gonna need a fake personality just to be able meet more women.

So why did you turn her down? Was she ugly? What kind of girl are you looking for?
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Pepys Monster posted...

GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

You have to find a girl who is attracted to you. There are lots of girls of various attractiveness levels out there, and some will like you.

Didn't find one in hs or three years when I was living in the college dorms, nor amongst the 20-25+ girls I met through my cousins.

I mean I could put out a fake personality and try hitting on more girls but
1. That kinda falls under sexual harassment
2. Not a very good actor to begin with

Let's be real here, you probably turned down a couple girls in high school, and maybe even a couple girls in college. And a couple girls turned you down too. That's just life. You don't need a fake personality. You just have to meet more women.

Didn't you also made Tadamoto type posts before?

But anyways I agree, just meet more women whether it be at friend parties or doing community service (hint, that was how I found my wife). The more women you meet, the bigger your pool of choices are. The toughest part for any guy is to approach and facing the fear of rejection (as a 5'6 nerdy asian, trust me when I say I got rejected like no tomorrow), but once you learn to control that fear approaching women becomes easier. You just have to learn through trial and error how to talk to certain women and see if you're both compatible.

Trust me when I say this that yes "Chads" have the easiest time in getting laid, but probably have the worst time trying to find a "romantic partner" to eventually marry. Jerks and bad boys might get girls, but the odds that it will last are usually very slim because of how usually the relationship foundation was built on superficially.
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Prestoff posted...

Didn't you also made Tadamoto type posts before?

I have a bae now.
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Pepys Monster posted...

Prestoff posted...

Didn't you also made Tadamoto type posts before?

I have a bae now.

Congrats!
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Pepys Monster posted...

GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

You have to find a girl who is attracted to you. There are lots of girls of various attractiveness levels out there, and some will like you.

Didn't find one in hs or three years when I was living in the college dorms, nor amongst the 20-25+ girls I met through my cousins.

I mean I could put out a fake personality and try hitting on more girls but
1. That kinda falls under sexual harassment
2. Not a very good actor to begin with

Let's be real here, you probably turned down a couple girls in high school, and maybe even a couple girls in college. And a couple girls turned you down too. That's just life. You don't need a fake personality. You just have to meet more women.

In my 28 years of living, I've turned down a whopping total of 1 girl at a random party who I knew nothing about other than that her friends were trying to hook her up with me, have no idea what she herself actually thought of me.

I'm probably gonna need a fake personality just to be able meet more women.

So why did you turn her down? Was she ugly? What kind of girl are you looking for?

Yes but even if she was more attractive I wouldn't be looking for a drunk hook up at a party of people I mostly never met before.

It's not that I have to necessarily know them inside out but I am looking for someone who is mildly attractive and inspires something in me. I can't do that whole online or blind dating thing.
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Darkman124 posted...

the average person is so far below what we think of as 'average' it's ridiculous

the best advice to anyone struggling in romance is "lower your standards until you've bettered yourself."

This x100.

If you want a super model, you better be lifting and eating like a super model yourself. Everyone can stand to stuff their face with fewer calories. Everyone can stand to pick up a new hobby that is inherently active. Everyone can stand to wear a bit nicer clothes (not expensive mind you). And when guys online complain they can't meet women, chances are their hobbies include video games and movies. Their wardrobe includes anime t-shirts, cargo shorts, and/or jeans with sneakers. And they probably have a gut sticking out.

Making these changes doesn't have to change who you are as a person. And the women are out there, but these people expect a 10 to fall in their lap without effort.
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GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

GS4Life posted...

Pepys Monster posted...

You have to find a girl who is attracted to you. There are lots of girls of various attractiveness levels out there, and some will like you.

Didn't find one in hs or three years when I was living in the college dorms, nor amongst the 20-25+ girls I met through my cousins.

I mean I could put out a fake personality and try hitting on more girls but
1. That kinda falls under sexual harassment
2. Not a very good actor to begin with

Let's be real here, you probably turned down a couple girls in high school, and maybe even a couple girls in college. And a couple girls turned you down too. That's just life. You don't need a fake personality. You just have to meet more women.

In my 28 years of living, I've turned down a whopping total of 1 girl at a random party who I knew nothing about other than that her friends were trying to hook her up with me, have no idea what she herself actually thought of me.

I'm probably gonna need a fake personality just to be able meet more women.

So why did you turn her down? Was she ugly? What kind of girl are you looking for?

Yes but even if she was more attractive I wouldn't be looking for a drunk hook up at a party of people I mostly never met before.

It's not that I have to necessarily know them inside out but I am looking for someone who is mildly attractive and inspires something in me. I can't do that whole online or blind dating thing.

Why can't you do online dating? What music do you listen to? What are your hobbies?
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Find a niche and run with it. Or broaden your horizons/be open to how you cant always judge a book by its cover with women. Or just go on with what youre doing, but as a guy going after women, dont expect much to change if youre continuing to do what youve always done.

Also will point out (from topic title) that even if you dont have natural charisma or whatever you can for sure work on your room presence. Thats mostly a developed skill like confidence.
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Soviet_Poland posted...

Darkman124 posted...

the average person is so far below what we think of as 'average' it's ridiculous

the best advice to anyone struggling in romance is "lower your standards until you've bettered yourself."

This x100.

If you want a super model, you better be lifting and eating like a super model yourself. Everyone can stand to stuff their face with fewer calories. Everyone can stand to pick up a new hobby that is inherently active. Everyone can stand to wear a bit nicer clothes (not expensive mind you). And when guys online complain they can't meet women, chances are their hobbies include video games and movies. Their wardrobe includes anime t-shirts, cargo shorts, and/or jeans with sneakers. And they probably have a gut sticking out.

Making these changes doesn't have to change who you are as a person. And the women are out there, but these people expect a 10 to fall in their lap without effort.

Well I tried the nicer clothes and working out thing, I actually had a 6 pack at one point but that's gone now. Ironically I was probably closest to success to the girl I mentioned earlier who I considered a 10, but I've tried my luck with several less attractive girls (shallow way to put it but I didn't go for exclusively 10s fa from it) and lolnope got shut down quick.

You can make changes I did follow a lot of people's suggestions but bottom line it doesn't mean it will work.
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GS4Life posted...

Soviet_Poland posted...

Darkman124 posted...

the average person is so far below what we think of as 'average' it's ridiculous

the best advice to anyone struggling in romance is "lower your standards until you've bettered yourself."

This x100.

If you want a super model, you better be lifting and eating like a super model yourself. Everyone can stand to stuff their face with fewer calories. Everyone can stand to pick up a new hobby that is inherently active. Everyone can stand to wear a bit nicer clothes (not expensive mind you). And when guys online complain they can't meet women, chances are their hobbies include video games and movies. Their wardrobe includes anime t-shirts, cargo shorts, and/or jeans with sneakers. And they probably have a gut sticking out.

Making these changes doesn't have to change who you are as a person. And the women are out there, but these people expect a 10 to fall in their lap without effort.

Well I tried the nicer clothes and working out thing, I actually had a 6 pack at one point but that's gone now. Ironically I was probably closest to success to the girl I mentioned earlier who I considered a 10, but I've tried my luck with several less attractive girls (shallow way to put it but I didn't go for exclusively 10s fa from it) and lolnope got shut down quick.

You can make changes I did follow a lot of people's suggestions but bottom line it doesn't mean it will work.

If you find the right girl, she'll actually like you and not shut you down.
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https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/28378462_10216795041774574_3328515906878774196_n.jpg?oh=cc22cb163dfe2a4542de52e6ec02d5ff&oe=5B0E6022

Btw this was me in my heyaday back when flip phones were still a thing. Yes that pic does make me look way more muscular than I actually was but I didn't sit with my thumb up ass and do nothing. All I can guarantee is nothing really is guranteed.
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GS4Life posted...

https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/28378462_10216795041774574_3328515906878774196_n.jpg?oh=cc22cb163dfe2a4542de52e6ec02d5ff&oe=5B0E6022

Btw this was me in my heyaday back when flip phones were still a thing. Yes that pic does make me look way more muscular than I actually was but I didn't sit with my thumb up ass and do nothing. All I can guarantee is nothing really is guranteed.

You looked like you could at least get a thicc girl.
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I gotta tell you its pretty depressing when people say its pathetic if you didn't get laid/got laid once or twice in your school life.

I was a shy introvert in high school. Obviously nothing happened there.

Went to CC for two years. Place is miserable. Nobody is looking to make friends or spend any more time there than they need to

Now I'm a year into uni and I've tried, but I strike out all the time. This is the peak? Its somehow gonna get worse after school? Its kinda scary to think about.
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mew4ever posted...

I gotta tell you its pretty depressing when people say its pathetic if you didn't get laid/got laid once or twice in your school life.

I was a shy introvert in high school. Obviously nothing happened there.

Went to CC for two years. Place is miserable. Nobody is looking to make friends or spend any more time there than they need to

Now I'm a year into uni and I've tried, but I strike out all the time. This is the peak? Its somehow gonna get worse after school? Its kinda scary to think about.

Well I wouldn't say it's pathetic but unless you are someone who is outgoing, meets new people regularly, and find it easy to strike up a conversation with strangers it's going to get even a lot harder.
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Conflict posted...

GS4Life posted...

There was a girl who seemed almost too perfect but I knew she probably wasn't interested maybe for a very short period of time but that changed quickly, maybe I could have given a second go but here's the the fucked thing about my psychology you find someone good enough to change for, but it ultimately means you simply aren't good enough for them.

How do you expect to find anyone if you automatically assume everyone you're attracted to would not be interested

well that's more of one example me fixating on a girl I was crazy over and example of how easily mentality/psychology (which is no easy fix) could hold you back but that's kinda a long story. Shorter story I didn't stop with her and failed with other less attractive women but there's definitely a void there.
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GS4Life posted...

mew4ever posted...

I gotta tell you its pretty depressing when people say its pathetic if you didn't get laid/got laid once or twice in your school life.

I was a shy introvert in high school. Obviously nothing happened there.

Went to CC for two years. Place is miserable. Nobody is looking to make friends or spend any more time there than they need to

Now I'm a year into uni and I've tried, but I strike out all the time. This is the peak? Its somehow gonna get worse after school? Its kinda scary to think about.

Well I wouldn't say it's pathetic but unless you are someone who is outgoing, meets new people regularly, and find it easy to strike up a conversation with strangers it's going to get even a lot harder.

I hold out some hope. I've gotten outgoing enough where I'm in a few clubs here at school, just have crap luck in picking chicks with boyfriends. I'll take my chances in settings like that. The college party/bar setup is terrible though. I'm short and slightly overweight so those parties aren't really a good setting for me. Got a good personality and all, but who could tell over that loud ass music.
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