Current Events > Post here and I'll assign you an imaginary job

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Realforce
03/13/18 10:40:21 PM
#51:


Gimmie gimmie
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CensorErik
03/13/18 10:46:38 PM
#52:


WilliamPorygon posted...
I'll take an imaginary job plz

Re-introduces gerbils back into the wild.
Butterfiles posted...
howdy

Licensed hobo who leads rail tours.
HBOSS posted...
yeehaw!

Fencing instructor for hemaphiliacs.
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CensorErik
03/13/18 10:49:02 PM
#53:


Realforce posted...
Gimmie gimmie

Instructions complicater for the IRS.
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mipond
03/13/18 11:05:14 PM
#54:


CensorErik posted...
@mipond Against my better judgment I offer you one last job...

Counselor for bi-polar bears.

Okay! I'll take this one. Thanks
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"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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mipond
03/13/18 11:06:29 PM
#55:


Can you give Go_Totodile a job too please?
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"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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TheMarthKoopa
03/13/18 11:10:00 PM
#56:


Post
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CensorErik
03/13/18 11:13:36 PM
#57:


TheMarthKoopa posted...
Post

Buys and re-sells heavily soiled, pre-owned MLP toys.

mipond posted...
Can you give @Go_Totodile a job too please?

He didn't post, but...

Sidewalk gum scraper.
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SableWolfAngel
03/13/18 11:16:06 PM
#58:


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OpShaft
03/13/18 11:17:38 PM
#59:


Hook me up
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InstaReturns
03/13/18 11:19:37 PM
#60:


Sure
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CensorErik
03/13/18 11:25:19 PM
#61:


SableWolfAngel posted...
Oh oh! Me! I'm so excited!

Courtesy lounge attendant at a Detroit Lube & Rinse.
OpShaft posted...
Hook me up

Makes scratch n' sniff bumper stickers.
InstaReturns posted...
Sure

Bubble wrap inflator.
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mipond
03/13/18 11:34:22 PM
#62:


Thanks! I'll tell him.
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"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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OpShaft
03/13/18 11:36:42 PM
#63:


CensorErik posted...
Makes scratch n' sniff bumper stickers.


Awesome! I could make some sweet smells.
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SableWolfAngel
03/13/18 11:39:15 PM
#64:


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TheMarthKoopa
03/13/18 11:54:33 PM
#65:


CensorErik posted...
MLP

eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
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DrizztLink
03/13/18 11:56:40 PM
#66:


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CensorErik
03/14/18 1:49:10 AM
#67:


OpShaft posted...
CensorErik posted...
Makes scratch n' sniff bumper stickers.


Awesome! I could make some sweet smells.

Like what? I'd buy one!
SableWolfAngel posted...
wut

Ok, how about...

Invented the standard issue kevlar condom to protect soldiers in the bush.
TheMarthKoopa posted...
CensorErik posted...
MLP

eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

That's why you re-sell them. Alright, here's another job for you...

Hotel room mini-bartender.
DrizztLink posted...
K

Teaches unorthodox judo.
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DrizztLink
03/14/18 1:59:50 AM
#68:


CensorErik posted...
Teaches unorthodox judo.

Aww. I wanted to teach Orthodox judo.

It's pretty much the same but you dress like an Orthodox jew.

So you're a practicing Jew practicing Jewdo.
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OpShaft
03/14/18 7:47:05 AM
#69:


CensorErik posted...
OpShaft posted...
CensorErik posted...
Makes scratch n' sniff bumper stickers.


Awesome! I could make some sweet smells.

Like what? I'd buy one!


Seafood restaurant dumpster on a hot day, decomposing hobo, diseased prostitute, and scrumptious cinnamon roll. To name a few.
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EscapeFromHell
03/14/18 11:22:13 AM
#70:


Post.
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CensorErik
03/14/18 11:27:52 AM
#71:


EscapeFromHell posted...
Post.

Intern at a law firm specializing in sexual misconduct: LeKime, Taginette, Uppda, Haas, & Levinette.
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EscapeFromHell
03/14/18 11:29:24 AM
#72:


CensorErik posted...
EscapeFromHell posted...
Post.

Intern at a law firm specializing in sexual misconduct: LeKime, Taginette, Uppda, Haas, & Levinette.

xD
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SableWolfAngel
03/14/18 12:37:03 PM
#73:


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CensorErik
03/14/18 8:03:19 PM
#74:


SableWolfAngel posted...
Yay! Something sexy and cool! I like my new job :)

Glad I could be of assistance.

I've got more if anyone wants one or wants to try their luck again. Not mipond, though. Three is enough.
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mipond
03/14/18 8:19:33 PM
#75:


Oh come on!!!! One more, please??? A good one.
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"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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CensorErik
03/14/18 8:27:18 PM
#76:


mipond posted...
Oh come on!!!! One more, please??? A good one.

You liked the last one. I'm starting to think you don't really want an imaginary job. I'll go as far as to suggest you're imaginary lazy!

Ok, last one. This should work for you...

Restores brand new cars.
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mipond
03/14/18 8:35:47 PM
#77:


CensorErik posted...
mipond posted...
Oh come on!!!! One more, please??? A good one.

You liked the last one. I'm starting to think you don't really want an imaginary job. I'll go as far as to suggest you're imaginary lazy!

Ok, last one. This should work for you...

Restores brand new cars.

Oh...I like this one...thanks.

And no, I'm not lazy silly, just picky.
---
"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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PMarth2002
03/14/18 8:41:47 PM
#78:


Sure, why not.
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CensorErik
03/14/18 8:43:17 PM
#79:


PMarth2002 posted...
Sure, why not.

Invented day vision goggles.
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mipond
03/14/18 10:16:41 PM
#80:


mipond posted...
CensorErik posted...
mipond posted...
Oh come on!!!! One more, please??? A good one.

You liked the last one. I'm starting to think you don't really want an imaginary job. I'll go as far as to suggest you're imaginary lazy!

Ok, last one. This should work for you...

Restores brand new cars.

Oh...I like this one...thanks.

And no, I'm not lazy silly, just picky.

When do I get a break?
---
"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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CensorErik
03/14/18 10:22:14 PM
#81:


mipond posted...
mipond posted...
CensorErik posted...
mipond posted...
Oh come on!!!! One more, please??? A good one.

You liked the last one. I'm starting to think you don't really want an imaginary job. I'll go as far as to suggest you're imaginary lazy!

Ok, last one. This should work for you...

Restores brand new cars.

Oh...I like this one...thanks.

And no, I'm not lazy silly, just picky.

When do I get a break?

After you restore that 2018 royal blue F150.
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DifferentialEquation
03/14/18 10:22:51 PM
#82:


posts
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mipond
03/14/18 10:24:01 PM
#83:


CensorErik posted...
mipond posted...
mipond posted...
CensorErik posted...
mipond posted...
Oh come on!!!! One more, please??? A good one.

You liked the last one. I'm starting to think you don't really want an imaginary job. I'll go as far as to suggest you're imaginary lazy!

Ok, last one. This should work for you...

Restores brand new cars.

Oh...I like this one...thanks.

And no, I'm not lazy silly, just picky.

When do I get a break?

After you restore that 2018 royal blue F150.

What's a F150? Maybe you should get me a helper..please?
---
"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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CensorErik
03/14/18 10:30:42 PM
#84:


DifferentialEquation posted...
posts

Treats brackish greys' water at Area 51.

mipond posted...
What's a F150? Maybe you should get me a helper..please?

Alright. You can get one of your friends to help you. I'll sign off on your time sheets later.
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TheCyborgNinja
03/14/18 10:31:59 PM
#85:


come on, bikini inspector...
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CensorErik
03/14/18 10:34:40 PM
#86:


TheCyborgNinja posted...
come on, bikini inspector...

I got one I was saving...

Creator of edible bikini wax. Did thorough testing before submitting paperwork with the FDA.
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mipond
03/14/18 11:16:47 PM
#87:


Ok... I think I'd like Go_Totodile to help..and Gamer99Z. They know about cars. And I might need GiantAspirin and Hairy-Man to help to. All this work tires me out!

Can you have lunch sent in please?
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"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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CensorErik
03/14/18 11:27:14 PM
#88:


mipond posted...
Ok... I think I'd like Go_Totodile to help..and Gamer99Z. They know about cars. And I might need GiantAspirin and Hairy-Man to help to. All this work tires me out!

Can you have lunch sent in please?

Sure. It's an imaginary buffet with all the imaginary trimmings.
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mipond
03/15/18 1:57:02 AM
#89:


CensorErik posted...
mipond posted...
Ok... I think I'd like Go_Totodile to help..and Gamer99Z. They know about cars. And I might need GiantAspirin and Hairy-Man to help to. All this work tires me out!

Can you have lunch sent in please?

Sure. It's an imaginary buffet with all the imaginary trimmings.

Thanks CensorErik!!

I was wondering, do you think I could have a raise? After all, I'm doing all this work.
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"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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Vulgorn
03/15/18 1:59:17 AM
#90:


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CensorErik
03/15/18 12:17:50 PM
#91:


Vulgorn posted...
Ok

Sells pirated remixes of eastern European polka tunes.

@mipond Sorry, I actually had to cut your imaginary salary to pay your imaginary friends, but you all have fantastic imaginary full health and dental insurance as long as you all work 32 hours/week.
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mipond
03/15/18 1:28:40 PM
#92:


Wait..my salary is imaginary? I guess I quit then!
---
"I can assure you guys that she is 100% real and genuine." Go_Totodile.
Don't go jumping off bridges Bobby.
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EscapeFromHell
03/15/18 4:15:25 PM
#93:


I want a new job.
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Killing topics since 2007.
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CensorErik
03/15/18 4:51:36 PM
#94:


mipond posted...
Wait..my salary is imaginary? I guess I quit then!

There goes your imaginary benefits and imaginary retirement plan.
EscapeFromHell posted...
I want a new job.

Fitness surrogate. Gets in shape for other people so they can be lazy.
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SSBBSB
03/15/18 4:52:37 PM
#95:


*puffs up*
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3DS FC: 2294-4506-7568
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NeoBowser
03/15/18 4:53:10 PM
#96:



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I'm feeling myself, I'm feeling myself, I'm feeling my feeling my'
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BalanceLost
03/15/18 4:53:58 PM
#97:



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CensorErik
03/15/18 5:11:00 PM
#98:


SSBBSB posted...
*puffs up*

Designs menswear for women who don't like men.
NeoBowser posted...

Martyr application processer for religious fanatics.
BalanceLost posted...

Makes flavored lead-based paints for daycare centers.
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SSBBSB
03/15/18 5:16:29 PM
#99:


CensorErik posted...

Designs menswear for women who don't like men.

That made my head hurt.
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Vulgorn
03/15/18 5:20:15 PM
#100:


CensorErik posted...
Sells pirated remixes of eastern European polka tunes.

I could see it tbh
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