Current Events > one of the most fucked up things in comics ever, happens in early Fantastic Four

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Zikten
05/16/18 11:49:49 AM
#1:


in issue 2, they defeat some Skrulls and then Reed forces them to shapeshift into cows, and then he uses some device to mind control them into forgetting they are Skrulls and they live out their lives as normal cows. but years later, these cows got harvested for beef and humans ate them

http://marvel.wikia.com/wiki/Skrull_Cows_(Earth-616)

proof that Reed Richards is an irresponsible psychopath
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HylianFox
05/16/18 11:50:36 AM
#2:


so that explains the "Eat moar Chikn" signs
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Bloodychess
05/16/18 11:51:37 AM
#3:


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Zikten
05/16/18 11:56:09 AM
#4:


Bloodychess posted...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5-JVvCrGC8" data-time="

that was that weird cartoon that I think didn't have Thing cause they thought he was too violent or something so he was replaced by a robot.

anyway, I never understood this scene. after Reed tells him he still has his powers and it was just a wooden gun....why doesn't Magneto use his powers on the cops who actually have real guns? he acts like just cause several cops grab him that he suddenly is caught. in the comics, he would just laugh and attack them all. apparently in this series, once a super powered being has someone put hands on them, they are stopped.
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HylianFox
05/16/18 11:57:38 AM
#5:


Zikten posted...
he acts like just cause several cops grab him that he suddenly is caught.

gotta love early childen's cartoons

"NEXT TIME, GADGET! NEEEEEEEEEXT TIIIIIIIME!!!"
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A_Good_Boy
05/16/18 11:58:28 AM
#6:


Stuff like this is probably why he was made into a sociopathic supervillain in the Ultimate universe.
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Rexdragon125
05/16/18 11:58:41 AM
#7:


Old hero comics and cartoons are poorly written?

*Bad guy runs off screen*

Flash: Darn! He got away!
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Reis
05/16/18 11:59:23 AM
#8:


Reed Richards is well known to be a colossal jackass
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GiftedACIII
05/16/18 12:00:41 PM
#9:


However, it appeared that murderous Skrull-Cows were among the minority as when they next uncovered a "Reverse Rodeo" where humans were willing participants in rodeo style activities. Despite this, the Kill Krew slaughtered all the Skrulls there.[15] A cafe of Skrull-Cows were also slaughtered by the Krew.[16] They followed by slaughtering the Skrull cast and crew on the "Stampede" web series. This in turn led to retaliation from the Skrull-Cows who attacked the Kill Krew's home, but were all eliminated as well.[17] This caused the Skrull-Cows to use the media to pressure the government to do something about the Skrull Kill Krew or face repercussions. This prompted HAMMER director Norman Osborn to travel to LA to meet with the Skrull-Cow elite. However the meeting was attacked by the Skrull Kill Krew who slaughtered all the elite in company and fled.[14]

Cadre K

Cadre K landed on Earth in Midland, South Dakota[18] or in North Dakota[19] and established themselves as cowboys, purchasing any stock of Skrull-cows (who were somehow evolving into "something else") they could find to take them out of the food chain and protect them into the Sagitarrian Ranch/Farms.[18]

Skrull Duck

It was later revealed a fifth Skrull was present and not hypnotized into a cow but Reed Richards changed him into a duck. Tara Tam eventually ate the duck infected her with Skrullovoria Induced Skrullophobia granting her shape-shifting powers similar to the alien species. She wouldn't learn the origin of her powers until the Skrull Kill Krew came to recruit her but she didn't join them but she traveled to New York where she met Howard the Duck[20]

Man this really make the "heroes" sound like pieces of shits.
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HylianFox
05/16/18 12:01:31 PM
#10:


GiftedACIII posted...
where she met Howard the Duck

lol
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RchHomieQuanChi
05/16/18 12:08:22 PM
#11:


I still remember one of the Early Fantastic Four issues where everybody decides Reed is unfit to be the leader, so the other 3 argue about who should lead the Fantastic Four. Sue suggests she's the most level-headed one to lead the group and Reed basically goes "LOL Susan don't be ridiculous. A woman....lead the Fantastic Four? What are we gonna do, shop all day?"
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HylianFox
05/16/18 12:10:09 PM
#12:


I keep tellin' ya Johnny should have flamed his ass
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HylianFox
05/16/18 12:11:15 PM
#13:


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ReedRichardsIsUseless
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Bloodychess
05/16/18 12:27:00 PM
#14:


Zikten posted...
Bloodychess posted...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5-JVvCrGC8" data-time="

that was that weird cartoon that I think didn't have Thing cause they thought he was too violent or something so he was replaced by a robot.

anyway, I never understood this scene. after Reed tells him he still has his powers and it was just a wooden gun....why doesn't Magneto use his powers on the cops who actually have real guns? he acts like just cause several cops grab him that he suddenly is caught. in the comics, he would just laugh and attack them all. apparently in this series, once a super powered being has someone put hands on them, they are stopped.


Pretty much. I wondered if the writers knew how little this scene made sense, or if the audience was left wondering "just use the guns from a cop!"
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Solar_Crimson
05/16/18 3:33:36 PM
#15:


Zikten posted...
that was that weird cartoon that I think didn't have Thing cause they thought he was too violent or something so he was replaced by a robot.

Actually, it was the Human Torch, and he wasn't in it because Torch's TV rights were tied with a TV movie that ended up never coming out.
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Foppe
05/18/18 2:16:51 AM
#17:


My favorite part is when some of those cows were milked as Dairy cows.
The people drinking it got shapeshifting abilities and forced everybody they knew into drinking this milk.
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#18
Post #18 was unavailable or deleted.
kuwab0
05/20/18 10:28:54 AM
#19:


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Frosted_Midna
05/20/18 10:31:37 AM
#20:


Tag
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BruceWayneJr
05/20/18 10:34:07 AM
#21:


Nothing can top Ms. Marvel (Carol Danvers) being kidnapped and impregnated by her own son, then giving birth to the same dude.
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JxOxNxIxCxS
05/20/18 11:13:28 AM
#22:


He fuckin pissed me off with his reaction to his kids in Marvel Zombies
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refmon
05/20/18 11:27:01 AM
#23:


JxOxNxIxCxS posted...
He fuckin pissed me off with his reaction to his kids in Marvel Zombies

what did he do
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JxOxNxIxCxS
05/20/18 11:47:15 AM
#24:


Cant exactly remember it, but he was so excited about experimenting his zombie kids, or something, and it pissed the shit out if the grieving Sue
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Ricemills
05/20/18 11:53:41 AM
#25:


Reed hit Susan many times but Hank Pym is the one who remembered as the wife beater in Marvel comics.
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Skye Reynolds
05/20/18 11:54:03 AM
#26:


Even if they hadn't been eaten, which I assume is something written well after the fact, it stands to reason that they eventually would've bred with other cows seeing as they now mentally function as cows. The defeated foe mind-controlled into engaging in bestiality is kind of unsettling and has a rather rape-y vibe to it.

It's hardly the safe alternative to killing the bad guys that the original writers probably intended.
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VTBM
05/20/18 12:02:19 PM
#27:


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YoshitoKikuchi
05/20/18 12:11:23 PM
#28:


BruceWayneJr posted...
Nothing can top Ms. Marvel (Carol Danvers) being kidnapped and impregnated by her own son, then giving birth to the same dude.


??
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BruceWayneJr
05/20/18 12:25:48 PM
#29:


It's infamous.

https://www.geekinsider.com/on-the-rape-of-ms-marvel/
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Kafkaf
05/21/18 6:55:58 PM
#30:


The funny thing is, Magneto should be able to move anything
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Foppe
05/22/18 3:25:36 PM
#31:


Remember hoe Magneto used to have vehicles that looked like giant magnets?
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Foppe
05/22/18 3:47:08 PM
#32:


JxOxNxIxCxS posted...
Cant exactly remember it, but he was so excited about experimenting his zombie kids, or something, and it pissed the shit out if the grieving Sue

If I remember it correct...
The Fantastic Four were out in the city when the outbreak started, and they decided to fall back to their locked tower. There they discover that an infected She-Hulk has killed their kids and Sue blows off her head. They are devastated when Fury calls them and want them evacuated to the helicarrier.
Well there, Reed starts to examinate some zombie remains, trying to figure out how to stop them.
He finds the whole thing fascinating, and marvels at the efficiency of the creatures, while Sue is enraged that he could be so analytical about the things that killed their offspring.
...aaand then he goes crazy and believes that this is the next step in evolution, infects the rest of the Fantastic Four and lets them attack him.

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SciFi
05/22/18 3:48:30 PM
#33:


b7 Spoilers
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HBOSS
05/22/18 3:56:40 PM
#34:


it's like he is always a moment away from Ultimate Reed Richards, a man with no distractions.
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tremain07
05/22/18 3:59:18 PM
#35:


Comics are fucking weird, remember when the hulk got raped alot or when he lead a colony of mole people or when he had a son named Skaar or when he got so strong just walking caused entire contintents to shake and move?

Or how once upon a time Thor had a civilian personality named Donald Blake
Or how Spider man and his cousin constantly had sex with each other whenever they met because spider pheromones or some shit
Or that time Wolverine had a son and he became a twilight character who used sex to solve his problems
Or that time a supervillain stole Spider man's body, tried to be a superior version of him then just went "fuck it, I'll just go back to villainy"
Or that time Ant Man and Wasp were having sex and as such they use their powers to shrink and go spelunking inside each other's neither regions completely on screen by the way.
Or that time Scott from the X-men when even harder mutant extremist than Magneto
Or that time that cute fireworks chick from the TV show in the 90s became a vampire
Or that time they decided to give Galactus a daughter
Or that time Captain America was secretly a nazi
Comics are weird and they'll do anything to keep readers no matter how fucking stupid or nonsensical it'll be
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saspa
05/22/18 4:01:40 PM
#36:


I must know more about spiderman and his cousin having sex. I wasn't aware spiderman had a cousin. Also it sounds like a precursor to those tracy scops stories she does.
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GiggetySplicer
05/24/18 4:15:05 AM
#37:


The icon for female empowerment and feminism was originally a bondage fetish.
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refmon
05/24/18 9:58:01 AM
#38:


tremain07 posted...
Or that time Ant Man and Wasp were having sex and as such they use their powers to shrink and go spelunking inside each other's neither regions completely on screen by the way.

when did this happen
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Foppe
05/24/18 10:25:54 AM
#39:


refmon posted...
tremain07 posted...
Or that time Ant Man and Wasp were having sex and as such they use their powers to shrink and go spelunking inside each other's neither regions completely on screen by the way.

when did this happen

Avengers Vol 3 #71.
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Ricemills
05/24/18 11:09:08 AM
#40:


refmon posted...
tremain07 posted...
Or that time Ant Man and Wasp were having sex and as such they use their powers to shrink and go spelunking inside each other's neither regions completely on screen by the way.

when did this happen


oJ6g2uM
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Questionmarktarius
05/24/18 11:17:57 AM
#41:


Bloodychess posted...
Zikten posted...
Bloodychess posted...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5-JVvCrGC8" data-time="

that was that weird cartoon that I think didn't have Thing cause they thought he was too violent or something so he was replaced by a robot.

anyway, I never understood this scene. after Reed tells him he still has his powers and it was just a wooden gun....why doesn't Magneto use his powers on the cops who actually have real guns? he acts like just cause several cops grab him that he suddenly is caught. in the comics, he would just laugh and attack them all. apparently in this series, once a super powered being has someone put hands on them, they are stopped.


Pretty much. I wondered if the writers knew how little this scene made sense, or if the audience was left wondering "just use the guns from a cop!"

That's just how 70s and 80s cartoons worked.
Ineffectual villains don't really cause any significant harm beyond property damage, heroes are stiff and lifeless ubermench or caricatures (sometimes both), stereotypes all over the place, the complainer is always wrong, nobody ever dies or even gets seriously injured, villain-of-the-week surrenders peacefully and goes to jail while the recurring ones always get away, and there's usually a preachy and contrived moral lesson at the end. Repeat again next week, or possibly tomorrow.

It even happened in live action once:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cn6kEsloMdE" data-time="
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Darkninja42
05/24/18 11:25:16 AM
#42:


The fuck @ that Ant-Man/Wasp thing. Also the implication that she went up his ass.
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Questionmarktarius
05/24/18 11:27:00 AM
#43:


Darkninja42 posted...
Also the implication that she went up his ass.

Punching that prostate like a speed bag.
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Foppe
05/24/18 12:44:54 PM
#44:


Some men likes stuff going up their penis.
Just Saiyan.
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tremain07
05/25/18 8:35:33 AM
#45:


Ah, shit, I didn't think someone would actually post it
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Skye Reynolds
05/25/18 9:51:09 AM
#46:


tremain07 posted...
Or how Spider man and his cousin constantly had sex with each other whenever they met because spider pheromones or some shit


That's kinda hot.
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#47
Post #47 was unavailable or deleted.
FratMilkyHolme
05/29/18 6:39:12 AM
#48:


The submariner just killed innocent people too and he was seen as a full hero
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GiggetySplicer
05/31/18 5:22:10 AM
#49:


The icon for female empowerment and feminism was originally a bondage fetish.
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GiggetySplicer
06/02/18 5:30:05 AM
#50:


The icon for female empowerment and feminism was originally a bondage fetish.
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Foppe
06/03/18 3:20:01 AM
#51:


Superman turned into a Superbaby once.
Did the ones that loved him try to help him?
No, both Lois Lane and Lana Land tried to brainwash him into loving them.
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