Current Events > i have a dilemma

(+) Yeah! (+)

important background info: i am of jewish and black origin

my dilemma is as followed

an old friend invited me to his wedding and i was planning on going

but then he posted the wedding venue and there are tons of confederate flags and also references to "dixie"

as a Black man i understand that when you start talking about Dixie, the next topic will be about how the south will rise again and then the "yeehaws" start coming out

also, last time I saw his father (who hates minorities and carries confederate flags in his home), he told me I was one of the "good ones"

now I don't want to disrespect my boy by not attending his wedding but this sounds like a dangerous situation for me to be in

I looked through the invite list and there is 1 other minority and he is an African American named Keshawn

i am thinking of messaging Keshawn this picture from the google page and saying "do u see this shit"


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Vamp_Aubrey posted...

also, last time I saw his father (who hates minorities and carries confederate flags in his home), he told me I was one of the "good ones"

Welp there goes the benefit of the doubt

i was going to use this as an excuse to go back to my old town and visit friends
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bump
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Probably wouldn't go if I was in your shoes
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i think I'm going to decline
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what was the situation that led you to become friends with leo dicaprio's character from django unchained

personally i would not go, if his family had these beliefs thats one thing but if they cant stop doing this shit even for 4 hours for a wedding then you know its especially fucked up, you're in for a night of a bunch of drunk people calling you boy and probably drunkenly asking you questions about the black race
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I wouldn't go but I would think about whether or not to be honest with him. If he was a legit good friend I would tell him I can't go because of the confederacy bullshit. If you're not super tight I would just say I can't go and send a cheap gift.
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Romulox28 posted...

what was the situation that led you to become friends with leo dicaprio's character from django unchained

i went to high school with him and afaik he himself isn't racist and I've never seen him wave confederare flags or do any of that shit, but his family is very racist

im not "super" tight with him but that's because after college, i moved away without telling anybody and haven't visited any of my friends since then

i still keep in touch with them and i was going to use this as an excuse to visit everyone but now I'm just going to tell him I'm traveling for work that weekend or something
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You're being selfish by not attending your friends wedding. He invited you because he likes and respects you by the looks of it. It's a wedding, do you think your boy would want his wedding ruined over you being black? All eyes should be at the bride and the groom not you. Do you think the whole room will go silent when you walk in and that the priest/pastor/judge is going to call you out for being black and stop the wedding? Has your boy done anything to you that would make you think that this is a bad situation for you to go to? It's a wedding not a confederate party. Everyone is going for the wedding they probably won't even care about your presence. Go to the wedding, have fun, visit old friends, once they get married then you can leave. The party and everything after the wedding isn't important. Think as yourself as a fly on the wall looking down on them and not them with fly swatters looking down at you.
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El Mexicano Texano posted...

You're being selfish by not attending your friends wedding. He invited you because he likes and respects you by the looks of it. It's a wedding, do you think your boy would want his wedding ruined over you being black? All eyes should be at the bride and the groom not you. Do you think the whole room will go silent when you walk in and that the priest/pastor/judge is going to call you out for being black and stop the wedding? Has your boy done anything to you that would make you think that this is a bad situation for you to go to? It's a wedding not a confederate party. Everyone is going for the wedding they probably won't even care about your presence. Go to the wedding, have fun, visit old friends, once they get married then you can leave. The party and everything after the wedding isn't important. Think as yourself as a fly on the wall looking down on them and not them with fly swatters looking down at you.

You sound white
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16-BITTER posted...

Vamp_Aubrey posted...

i was going to use this as an excuse to go back to my old town and visit friends

So you're literally from there. Do you really think the situation would be worse than it was when you lived there 20-some years ago?

i didn't live there 20-some years ago and the wedding venue is in the next town over where the KKK lives
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Vamp_Aubrey posted...

last time I saw his father (who hates minorities and carries confederate flags in his home), he told me I was one of the "good ones"

So he likes you, what's the problem
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Don't worry you're safe since you're "one of the good ones"
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If I survived 4 years at Auburn, you can survive 4 hours at a wedding.
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"One of the good ones", lmao

Asherlee10 posted...

SpinKirby posted...

If I survived 4 years at Auburn, you can survive 4 hours at a wedding.

I also survived 5 years at Ole Miss while being a mixed-race, Jewish, gay female, but that doesn't mean I'd go back there for a wedding.

Depends on how good the friend is.

But I shouldn't be the one to talk, since I totally dodged a "close" friend's wedding.
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TC is Lenny Kravitz or Drake
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I wouldn't even be friends with someone like that tbh, you are a more patient/understanding person than me.
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i was friends with him before i knew his family was racist
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Vamp_Aubrey posted...

i was friends with him before i knew his family was racist

I don't have a problem dropping people.
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Vamp_Aubrey posted...

but now I'm just going to tell him I'm traveling for work that weekend or something

Lame.
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Will the food be kosher
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Peter_Griffin33 posted...

El Mexicano Texano posted...

You're being selfish by not attending your friends wedding. He invited you because he likes and respects you by the looks of it. It's a wedding, do you think your boy would want his wedding ruined over you being black? All eyes should be at the bride and the groom not you. Do you think the whole room will go silent when you walk in and that the priest/pastor/judge is going to call you out for being black and stop the wedding? Has your boy done anything to you that would make you think that this is a bad situation for you to go to? It's a wedding not a confederate party. Everyone is going for the wedding they probably won't even care about your presence. Go to the wedding, have fun, visit old friends, once they get married then you can leave. The party and everything after the wedding isn't important. Think as yourself as a fly on the wall looking down on them and not them with fly swatters looking down at you.

You sound white

I'm not. Funny how he skipped over my post.
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El Mexicano Texano posted...

I'm not. Funny how he skipped over my post.

He wasn't the only one.
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you'll win this dilemma
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i talked to another friend about it and the other friend decided that he wasn't gonna go either so now i feel less bad

i haven't talked to this guy in 2-3 years anyway so its no biggie if i never talk to him again
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