Current Events > Am I a failure for wanting to resign over "mental anguish"?

(+) Yeah! (+)

I finally broke down yesterday and called the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and I think my job is the most prominent reason...
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no, you are not
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[hug]

I think that's a very good reason to make resigning from your job your number 1 priority. I would seek help first though, if you can afford it.
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no. capitalism is about exploiting the workforce and being exploited isn't an enjoyable feeling.
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Im in a weird crossroads. On one hand I feel like I need to get out of here lest I spiral into self-destruction but on the other I worry that a month or two later Ill regret it because the people here are the best Ive ever worked with, Im just so poor with handling the job itself (plus I dont want to abandon the chance to further my career or be percieved as bailing a crucial juncture).

I have my first meeting with a therapist today.
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You have any vacation time? Take some time to clear your head.

But no, there's no shame in leaving something that's harming you.
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AlisLandale posted...

You have any vacation time? Take some time to clear your head.

But no, there's no shame in leaving something that's harming you.

Thats one of the problems I have with this job. I earn PTO so slowly compared to my last job (it takes three pay cycles just to bank a single day of PTO). So I feel really discouraged since I cant bank time off in an equivalent exchange in order to get the sort of downtime I want. Add to that a really, really long drive and the fact that extra time you work can only be flexed in the same pay period (if you work extra and cant burn it in the same two week window it just vanishes and you get nothing for it) and I feel like I live my life around my job with nothing to show for it.
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What do you do in a general sense (so you don't have to get specific if you don't want)?

As a whole though, as said already, there's no shame in it. The regret part will likely subside too if it's even there. Something that taxing is just gonna burn you out eventually anyways and then you'll be in a worse spot.

Either way I wish you the best of luck mate.
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Im the system admin of a development lab in the government contracting sector. However Ive had to wear other hats that slowly started overshadowing everything else.
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Start applying for other jobs before you get burnt out. Even if you don't accept or get any offers, figuring out what's available will give you some good perspective. You don't want to be in a position where you burn out, quit immediately, and then have to get the first job you can just to pay rent.
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Not at all. I've been at jobs that have kinda moved me in that direction. I stayed at one way too long and didn't realize how depressed I was becoming until someone mentioned how I sounded defeated when I talked.

Not worth staying at those places.
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Solid Sonic posted...

Im the system admin of a development lab in the government contracting sector. However Ive had to wear other hats that slowly started overshadowing everything else.

Ah, yeah that can really suck especially if you're not of fan of what starts encompassing your day.

Hope you're appointment goes well and if not then think about it before pulling the trigger but don't talk yourself out of it solely because due to fear of regret (IMO ofc).
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Its weird trying to get empathy when I feel like Ive been growing more condescending and misanthropic lately.
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Solid Sonic posted...

Its weird trying to get empathy when I feel like Ive been growing more condescending and misanthropic lately.

Idk about that, maybe if you're looking to get it just to get it. Otherwise it's often part of balancing the scales.
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Absolutely not. You can't put a price on peace of mind, you have to take care of yourself first.
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Something you can do to immediately boost your state of mind is to update your resume and send it out to the hot companies in your area and in other states. It's encouraging to see that there's other opportunities out there, and it'll make you less dependent on your job.

It's also important to have a nice emergency fund saved so that if you had to leave your job you could coast on the emergency fund for a 3-6 months without having to worry about money.

You should also identify the things that make you feel this way at your current job and bring them up to your manager/HR. They may not be aware of whatever it is that is causing you to feel this way.
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Solid Sonic posted...

Add to that a really, really long drive and the fact that extra time you work can only be flexed in the same pay period (if you work extra and cant burn it in the same two week window it just vanishes and you get nothing for it) and I feel like I live my life around my job with nothing to show for it.

I have the same problem at my current job. I spend 15-20 hours a week commuting. It's only manageable because I take the train most of the time. Is that an option for you? What about moving closer to work?

I think people underestimate the severe impact a long commute can have when you have a tough job to begin with.
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Absolutely not, and you are not alone. As others have said, branch out because there are other options out there.

I paid 2 grand for quitting my former job (Breach of Contract) and jumped to a job that pays 5k less with an inferior insurance package and it was the best professional decision I've made. Sometimes stress makes you stop caring about the $$$, your own personal happiness is more important and it sounds like you need to start taking care of yourself more than your job.
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your health is more important than work, dude. definitely take a step back and analyze the options you have and want to take. you have plenty of time ahead of you to find a "career," so don't sweat that.
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I worked with a guy that was undergoing similar issues. When the job is affecting your health then it's time to step back and figure out what's really more important. You can always get another job.
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