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v_charon 08/16/18 12:48:37 AM #303: |
StifledSilence posted...
Let's hope so. --- :> Truly smilin' ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Leafeon13N 08/16/18 2:35:26 AM #304: |
I think its reasonable to expect the 80s to go out back to back.
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PrinceKaro 08/16/18 11:10:17 AM #305: |
10. G.I. Joe: The Movie
Scarlet: 6 JONA: 7 Snake: 8 Charon: 9 Stifled: 11 Genny: 13 Karo: 14 Red: 18 Inviso: 22 Johnbobb: 25 Total Score: 133 Scarlet: You have to wonder why Karo thought a list that fetishized the concept of putting The Movie after the title of every film was worthy of the time of Gauntlet Crew. Especially when you witness the spectacle of G.I. Joe, a comic book-toyline-turned-cartoon-turned-animated-film, a Frankensteinian abomination of medium blending that still ended up more passable than the vast majority of this list. At least the concept of COBRA and its various players are amusingly quaint villains. At least the voices of Frank Welker and Burgess Meredith are welcome additions to the cast. Still, the best G.I. Joe movie was an episode of Community entitled G.I. Jeff. Rating: 38/100 JONA: That opening was the hypest shit and I would have been happy if it ended there. Is the movie good? Not really, but it's a fun time watching all the action and cheese. COBRALALALALALALALALA Snake: Surprisingly well-animated for the time and I actually like a lot of the characters, design-wise anyway. Their personalities are still flat but its fun to at least look at. The films plot tries to punch above its weight with epic stakes and for the most part its an okay ride. Not Shakespeare, but you can turn off your brain and have a fun time with this one. Charon: Unlike a lot of the other films made in the late 80's boom of animated TV films, this one is actually pretty good. Starscr- Cobra Commander is completely hilarious and while initially the lead is sort of unlikable, he grows as a character throughout the film. The supporting cast is also good. You've got Sgt. Slaughter, Jinx, Beach Head and others. These are all pretty funny and likable cast members. I didn't expect to like it, since it was one of the latter movies from this block that we watched, but I was glad it was pretty good. Stifled: COBRAAAAA! COBRAAAAA! Haha oh man that song. Its gonna be stuck in my head for a long time. I wasnt expecting much when I turned this one on, but the cheese! The glorious cheese! It has aged so well! The action and the fighting are all a lot of fun, but the dialog is great too. Only the finest cheese is used to write this script, folks. I would argue it was my favorite part of the experience. And they actually brought in Sgt. Slaughter?! Are you serious?! Thats so completely out of left field and probably not remotely necessary but I love it! Falcon is a punk and the movie did not make me like him by the end like they were aiming for, but who cares?! This is a fun ride that I will gladly take again some day. Traviss Opinion: He almost completely ignored the movie. But keeping with the theme, he pulled out all his military vehicles to play with. So uhtopical? Genny: G.I. Joe: The Movie was the first legitimate surprise on this list. Char and I sort of began the list in chronological order, and hopefully this doesn't spoil the content of my rankings too much, but just when I was truly starting to equate age with lack of quality G.I. Joe came to buck the trend. Yes, there are some animation errors and one major plot hole (how in the hell did the A-team escape from the vines and just magically show up alongside the B-team before the B-team even rescued them), but the movie has heart. You can tell more went into this one than some greedy corporate's first rough draft attempt at another cash-grab. This one has decent humor- particularly the training segments with Beach Head, and nobody fucking sings so that's enough to land it this high. --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/16/18 11:10:21 AM #306: |
Karo: G.I. Joe is about an elite military unit formed from all branches of the armed forces, including the little known combat divisions made up of professional wrestlers and japanese ninjas.
The Joes are a confusing bloated team of like 50 characters, half of which only on screen long enough for someone to say their name clearly so kids will know which action figures to ask their parents to buy. Our heroes go up against several different evil teams over the course of the movie, none of them very memorable other than their members having even stupider names than the good guys. Whenever there is conflict between any of the factions, everyone lines up and shoots at each other with accuracy that would make an Imperial Stormtrooper cringe, and many toy-based vehicles explode spectacularly. The Joes are so incompetent that they literally let a Cobra member walk right into the sensitive areas of their base just because she is hot, and treat military operations like silly games of dick measuring. Hey guys, lets leave all our weapons behind on this mission we're doing with the fate of the world at stake! That would be a lot more challenging! These fuckers are as about as much real American heroes as Donald Trump is a real American president. Red: The ruled the world in the past but now secret civilization Cobra-La returns to try to take over the world. And the plan is to turn people into snakes, or something. Its a flawed plan from a terribly named place. The best part of the movie is the irony of turning Cobra Commander into a snake, which is honestly the only thing I remembered from GI Joe from my childhood. Its also the worst part of the movie, as somehow he was built as necessary for the plot to continue but gets dragged along while going all snakey and then does basically nothing before turning into a full snake. Also characters dying for good is apparently bad at selling toys, so characters that obviously should be dead are just in comas. That they will totally recover from, sure. Inviso: I am REALLY really glad that I was born just after these movies came out (implying that the TV shows were well before my time), becausewow. There is DEFINITELY a blatant trend in these eighties movies to just jam as many characters into the film as possible, for the purposes of selling toys. In Transformers, Im willing to accept that, because the plot was coherent enough that the overabundance of nameless characters was easily ignored. But this? For fucks sake, the guy who becomes the main character doesnt show up until halfway through the film. And hell, Sergeant Slaughter is one of the main guys fighting during the final battle, and HE doesnt show up until of the way through the film. Its just a random plot with Cobra fighting Joes, various people getting captured, and then swamp creatures take over. Its super dumb, and its only by virtue of not being painfully G-rated that I rank it as high as I do. Johnbobb: Well, lets find out if weve wasted a billion taxpayer dollars. One of the big issues with a TV movies list is that TV show movies often assume youre already a fan of the show, and thats felt HARD here. I never grew up with G.I. Joe, so when I go to watch this movie I see like 80 different characters which it seems like Im supposed to know. Ultimately I ended up not caring about anyone beyond Cobra Commander, and mostly just waited for him to show back up. I can imagine it might be fun to make fun of with friends, but I mostly ended up just rolling my eyes watching it alone. --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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GenesisSaga 08/16/18 11:27:42 AM #307: |
Dammit, Joe was NOT one of the two movies I was implying did not belong in the top ten, though it is a surprising choice. One of these top nines now is incredibly bland, and the other is not a well-made movie at all. Really not sure what some of you guys saw in the latter that I must have missed.
--- "You're stronger than you believe. Don't let your fear own you. Own yourself." - Michelle Hodkin ... Copied to Clipboard!
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AxemRedRanger 08/16/18 11:30:14 AM #308: |
So what happened to Red's review for this one?
--- [NO BARKLEY NO PEACE] [NO BKSheikah NO PEACE] ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/16/18 11:40:45 AM #309: |
its fixed
--- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/16/18 11:41:20 AM #310: |
Outlier:
Karo: 170 Red: 146 Genny: 125 Stifled: 124 Johnbobb: 122 Inviso: 114 Snake: 96 Scarlet: 96 JONA: 89 Charon: 77 --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Johnbobb 08/16/18 12:20:02 PM #311: |
PrinceKaro posted...
Still, the best G.I. Joe movie was an episode of Community entitled G.I. Jeff. agreed --- Khal Kirby, warlord of the Super Star Khalasar PSN/Steam: CheddarBBQ https://goo.gl/Diw2hs ... Copied to Clipboard!
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GenesisSaga 08/16/18 12:48:17 PM #312: |
You have to wonder why a seemingly covert nefarious organization would announce their presence by shouting their organization's name right before a terrorist attack. Especially when no member of said organization ever learned to ululate properly. Seriously, COBRA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA! is the most ridiculous war cry ever.
Guess for #9: The Transformers: The Movie I'm done with all attempts at subterfuge. Please fucking let Transformers or Recess be next! --- "You're stronger than you believe. Don't let your fear own you. Own yourself." - Michelle Hodkin ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Snake5555555555 08/16/18 12:50:27 PM #313: |
GenesisSaga posted...
You have to wonder why Scarlet fever is catching on --- If the suspense doesn't kill you, something else will! http://tinyurl.com/zqwzc9a - https://flic.kr/p/27VE5m4 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Johnbobb 08/16/18 12:53:51 PM #314: |
GenesisSaga posted...
I'm done with all attempts at subterfuge. Please fucking let Transformers or Recess be next! I feel like they'll probably be next A handful of people seem to hate Recess, and it's easy to imagine Transformers dropping around the same place as GI Joe --- Khal Kirby, warlord of the Super Star Khalasar PSN/Steam: CheddarBBQ https://goo.gl/Diw2hs ... Copied to Clipboard!
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StifledSilence 08/16/18 1:11:00 PM #315: |
Aww man. I was hoping the Joe Train was gonna keep going.
So how about those Transformers? --- Bear Bro The Empire of Silence ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/16/18 7:11:46 PM #316: |
9. The Transformers: The Movie
Snake: 2 Scarlet: 3 JONA: 8 Karo: 10 Red: 11 Johnbobb: 12 Inviso: 16 Stifled: 20 Charon: 22 Genny: 24 Total Score: 128 Snake: Prior to this movie, I was starting to think there were no decent movies on this list. Is it still a toy commerical? Absolutely. But theres also a bit more care put into it which is much-appreciated. I actually cared about some of the characters here, Its surprising how many characters meet their maker here and Unicron is actually a pretty awesome villain. The voice acting has an all-star cast and its some quality stuff, and the soundtrack mixes synth with metal quite nicely. Overall, an enjoyable package. Scarlet: You have to wonder why Karo thought a list of franchise cappers with none of the lead-up context of the franchises in question was worthy of the time of Gauntlet Crew. Especially when you find yourself forced to grieve the loss of some motherfucker whose exploits arent given any emotional resonance in said films. But the bizarre casting of this film and the larger-than-life stakes involved rang of a story almost more interesting than any Michael Bay schlock could deliver. And the completely unbelievable appearance of Orson Welles, one of the greatest minds in cinema history, makes this worth watching for that alone. Rating: 55/100 JONA: ME GRIMLOCK LIKE ACTION. ME GRIMLOCK LIKE MUSIC. ME GRIMLOCK SAD ABOUT OPTIMUS PRIME. ME GRIMLOCK HAVE GOOD TIME. Karo: A campy movie adaptation of the famous shapeshifting vehicle people, and thankfully the dark chthonic ritual that summoned Michael Bay into the world had not yet been completed as of this film's making. The central story is the Transformers trying to save their home planet of Cybertron from RoboGalactus. Said efforts usually involve a lot of laser beams, flashing seizure lights, and cheesy 80's rock music. The somewhat confusing plot sees the various robots traveling across the galaxy usually with arbitrary reasons for doing so, with massively inconsistent travel times that make even Game of Thrones seem sane. The movie goes increasingly off the rails as the writers continue to smoke weed in ever larger amounts, reaching a point where the Transfromers have a dance party with a robotic Billy Mays cockroach with Weird Al Yankovic singing. Over the course of the story, half the Autobots are killed and most of the Decepticons are morphed into new forms during all the action so all the kids will have to bug their parents for new action figures. Ka-ching! The production quality is higher than your standard 80's toy franchise movie, and while it is still not a very great film it is easy to see why it has the cult following it does. Red: Honestly, one of the reasons this movie gets ranked up this high for me is that it feels like it has actual stakes. Things die because they are killed and they dont come back. You've still got your annoying 80s kid hanging around because this is an 80s movie, but at least the stuff that happens feels like it actually matters instead of struggling to maintain the status quo. They had the bright idea that if you want to sell a new toy line, make sure you kill the previous one off(And reconfigure what doesnt die). Johnbobb: Youre an idiot, Starscream. I definitely have stronger feelings about this one than I thought I would. First off, opening with the fucking murder of Optimus Prime? Oh shit! I mean I never grew up with the show, so I dont have much emotional investment in the characters, but thats still pretty shocking from what I expected to just be animated action nonsense. The storys not particularly deep or involved but the voice acting is solid and GODDAMN is that a fine soundtrack. Stan Bushs The Touch remains one of the greatest songs ever recorded. --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/16/18 7:11:50 PM #317: |
Inviso: By sheer virtue of not completely insulting my intelligence with a barrage of utterly childish content, Transformers beats out every other film from 1986 or earlier on this list. That doesnt necessarily make it GOOD though. While I appreciate it being a LITTLE more mature in its subject matter (with characters getting shot and killed and eaten and whatnot), Transformers suffers from an overcrowding of the cast. Its actually super-noticeable watching this immediately after My Little Ponythis movie was DEFINITELY all about selling a bunch of toys to little kids. Seriously, there are SO many characters, and a sizable portion of them are irrelevant, bloating the plot to high hell. Butat least the plot if more mature, if a bit confusing. Its still nothing amazing, but at least its not BAD either.
Stifled: Take the cool action scenes of GI Joe, but remove the delightfully cheesy dialog and plot. Lets instead replace it with horrible voice acting, a bad script, and a nonsense plot that leads up to everyone battling a gigantic god robot for like no reason. Dont get me wrong, the actual battle is pretty cool, as are most of the movies battles. But for it to succeed like GI Joe did, I feel like you need to embrace the campy. As it was, Transformers took itself entirely too seriously and the movie did not reach the heights it could have. The soundtrack was pretty cool though. Weird Al! Some dude that sounded like Richard Marx! And that weird My Sharona sounding song at the beginning! Also, I can totally see why Michael Bay wanted to adapt this explosionfest to his style. Traviss Opinion: For whatever reason, Travis decided to run around in circles for the first few minutes of the movie. Then he just played with cars. Which is topical? Charon: Starscream dies too soon for this to be any good at all. An unlikable lead character that is fodder surrounded by some of the more lame Autobots doesn't make for a fun time. This was a mess of a plot. So Prime can't survive a shot to his chest but Ultra Magnus can literally be blown into pieces and survive just fine? I'm not sure if this film was just made to show how inept every other Autobot is that isn't Prime himself. Or was this film made to showcase one of the cheesiest, goofiest, most ill-fitting soundtracks ever conceived? You be the judge. Genny: I can only imagine how this movie was made. Director: "Hey, I've got an idea for a movie based on this television series." Marketing: "Oh yeah? Well we're hard up for money so let's hear it!" Director: "Let's take all the well-known and beloved characters that people grew up with and kill them off! Executive: "But sir, that's crazy talk! People will riot..." Marketing: "No... that's JUST crazy enough to work. By killing off the A-team, we can focus on the characters that no one gives a flying shit about. With more focus, we can sell more toys of Hot Rod and Iron Hide." Director: "Exactly." Brown-nosers: "It's brilliant sir." Executive: "But how can we make this appealing to our overseas audience?" Marketing: "Oh p-shaw! Those stupid Americans love guitar and synths. We'll just overlay all the action scenes with cheesy music and they'll eat that shit out of our hands. Executive: "All of them? But what about the ones that are meant to be taken seriously!? Marketing and Director in unison: "ALL OF THEM I SAY!" Director: "I want campy music over the death of Optimus Prime. The more camp the better." Animators and Editors: "WTF is this shit?" Director: "Just do it. [insert Sakurai laughter]" /end --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/16/18 7:13:35 PM #318: |
Outlier:
Karo: 171 Red: 148 Genny: 140 Stifled: 135 Johnbobb: 125 Inviso: 121 Snake: 103 Scarlet: 102 JONA: 90 Charon: 90 --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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scarletspeed7 08/16/18 7:16:39 PM #319: |
How are Snake and I doing it?
--- "Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer ... Copied to Clipboard!
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JONALEON1 08/16/18 7:20:26 PM #320: |
scarletspeed7 posted...
How are Snake and I doing it? Ask MI --- The Iron BKSheikah break your bracket and make you humble! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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v_charon 08/16/18 8:01:41 PM #321: |
So bad. Good riddance.
--- :> Truly smilin' ... Copied to Clipboard!
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StifledSilence 08/16/18 8:12:13 PM #322: |
Joe was what Transformers wished it could be. So much delicious cheese!
Im thinking Recess is probably next. Although some IKEA Pony Meatballs being served up next would be great. --- Bear Bro The Empire of Silence ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Johnbobb 08/16/18 8:58:08 PM #323: |
you've got the touch
YOU'VE GOT THE POWAAAAAAAAAAH YEA --- Khal Kirby, warlord of the Super Star Khalasar PSN/Steam: CheddarBBQ https://goo.gl/Diw2hs ... Copied to Clipboard!
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GenesisSaga 08/17/18 12:21:00 AM #324: |
The hell is wrong with you people!?
Guess for #8: Friggin' Recess: School's Out Maybe I can be on a roll and avert any more bad decisions with this guess --- "You're stronger than you believe. Don't let your fear own you. Own yourself." - Michelle Hodkin ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Lopen 08/17/18 1:18:12 AM #325: |
I'm a sucker for a movie having the stones to actually kill major characters so yeah I kinda liked Transformers in a weird way between that and the soundtrack and the fighting. Still not what I'd call a good movie but it's not a movie I regretted watching at the very least. Definitely a top 10 movie for me of this list. Maybe a top 5 depending on how good or bad the movies on the list I haven't seen are-- most of the unseen movies are lower ranked ones or Nick trash (err I guess Recess was actually a Disney cartoon?) so I wouldn't be surprised if it was a top 5.
--- No problem! This is a cute and pop genocide of love! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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red13n 08/17/18 1:26:42 AM #326: |
I'm guessing recess next too.
--- "First thing that crosses my mind: I didn't get any GameFAQs Karma yesterday." Math Murderer after getting his appendix removed. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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GenesisSaga 08/17/18 2:05:24 AM #327: |
How could none of you mention Rodimus Prime aka stupidest deus ex crappy name ever? Holy shit I cringed for a day straight at that.
--- "You're stronger than you believe. Don't let your fear own you. Own yourself." - Michelle Hodkin ... Copied to Clipboard!
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MysteriousStan 08/17/18 2:11:33 AM #328: |
Transformers is the greatest movie ever and I will not stand for this slander.
--- Brought to you by GameFlux Free GameFAQs app on Google Play! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/17/18 10:41:13 AM #329: |
8. Recess: School's Out
Johnbobb: 5 JONA: 5 Red: 5 Inviso: 6 Stifled: 15 Charon: 15 Genny: 16 Snake: 17 Scarlet: 18 Karo: 22 Total Score: 125 Johnbobb: Every time I see a movie and think, "that villain plan is terrible is ridiculous," I find myself thinking back to Recess: School's Out, where James Woods wants to spend billions to throw the moon off course and throw the earth into an eternal winter... to get rid of summer vacation for elementary schools. It's a story that only makes sense from a kid's perspective, but that's what Recess has always done best: capturing how it feels to be a kid. It's simplistic, sure, but it's lighthearted and fun, and seeing the bratty rebel kid and the grumpy principal gain a mutual respect just makes me happy. JONA: I liked Recess growing up and this movie has held up. The characters are enjoyable and all get their moments. It was nice seeing the relationship between TJ and the principal. The villain's motivation is pretty absurd but it oddly holds up considering what has been done with recess in real life lately. Nothing mindblowing, but a fun movie nonetheless. Red: I was never the biggest fan of Recess, it was a not terrible cartoon that was sometimes on when I woke up on Saturday mornings. But honestly, I think this movie makes really good use of what is actually a really large cast of characters to draw upon, even the side characters that dont get much screentime often get brief introductions to give you a small indication of their role in the show and in the bigger scenes that happen kind of fulfill their purpose without making you wonder why they are there, so no one feels out of place or out of character. This movie also does a great job of being movie worthy in scope while not taking itself so seriously that it feels forced, the plot literally being to stop an evil principle guy who wants to do made up sciencey things to rid the world of...recess...forever. Its dumb, but at least mildly entertaining dumb. Inviso: Having never really watched Recess as a kid, I didnt really have much idea of what to expect when it came to this movie. But it wound up being a solid enough film. I mean, its definitely a kids movie, but the closest comparison I can come up with is Captain Underpants, and this was a superior film in that regard. The characters all feel distinct and the plot is fun enough, with supervillainy at the forefront to keep things exciting. I also appreciate the fact that the movie manages to tie in some interpersonal relationships between the characters, both the kids trying to deal with growing up, and the teachers trying to show that theyre not really the bad guys school life might make them out to be. Overall, this was an enjoyable film for me, and I dont really have a negative thing to say about it. Stifled: Holy crap, a movie without THE MOVIE or MOVIE stamped on it! I know Ive already done writeups for a few without that stamp, but I feel like it has been awhile. Anyways, I have barely seen any of the Recess show. Maybe just an episode or two. I did quite enjoy it, but I was unsure how a movie would add to the series that has such a simple and sweet premise. But you know? Its a really logical step up. WellIm not sure if James Woods hatching an elaborate plot to move the moon out of alignment and cause endless winter to destroy recess and summer vacation is what one could call logical. But Im on board! Especially for that fun hidden Disney villain easter egg where Hades punishes Frollo by voice actor proxy. Detention, you old perv! No gypsy puss for you! Traviss Opinion: Travis was very interested in this one, but he also played with sing along Elmo. So I had a nearly constant accompaniment of Elmo singing the ABC song while I watched. Travis eventually laid down and napped while James Woods yelled at his lackeys. --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/17/18 10:41:26 AM #330: |
Charon: It takes a little while to get going, and what's up with that weird pan in with the PS2 style 3D graphics, but once it got into the meat of the story it was pretty decent. I enjoyed the chemistry between TJ and Prickley mostly. While the scheme is way "out there" for sure, it reminds me of a lower budget Captain Underpants in a way I think in its silliness.
Genny: I expected a lot from this movie because I loved the Recess cartoon growing up. Was this one of my favorite series? Hell no, but I'd never change the channel when it came on like most of that live action bull crap (not you, That's so Raven. Not you...). That said this one was kind of a let down. The blending of CG and hand drawn animation here was so jarring it looked like PS1 or crappy low-budget PS2 FMV sequences. They really should've stuck with one medium here, as the zooming/panning shots were as pretty as they were necessary, which is to say not at all. The plot was pretty standard, despite trying to make it seem supernatural, but it was nice seeing a lot of characters I grew up with in a new adventure. I laughed a couple times and I appreciated them humanizing Principal Prickly. Don't have much else to say. Snake: This film is actually from a series I had watched prior as a kid, but it still wasnt very good. This movie is finally the one that kinda made me realize how limited movies based on childrens animated series are. They either go on vacation or have no school or some other bland plot with 1-dimensional characters. The animation here isnt better than the series, and some jokes land at least making it better than any movie below it. Scarlet: You have to wonder why Karo thought a list of films all created solely for the demographic of eight-year-old males (and not even smart eight-year-old males; were talking the eight-year-old males who think answering the question What is your favorite subject in school? with Recess is high-class comedy) was worthy of the time of Gauntlet Crew. Especially when you find yourself examining the character of T.J., a remarkably average individual who seems to glorify a life mired in the mediocrity of obtuse blandness. With a head-scratchingly nonsensical plot, theres absolutely no real reason for any of the events in this bizarre plot to unfold the way they do, and only a small child would believe such a disjointed accounting of events as plausible. Rating: 18/100 --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/17/18 10:42:14 AM #331: |
Karo: Recess is about a bunch of ugly children who form their own little society on the playground during recess, hence the name. If you are thinking that the concept of the show really doesnt really lend itself very well to a full length theatrical feature, you'd be absolutely right.
So the plot is when school lets out for the summer, the evil secretary of education and his minions take over the school so he can use it to hide his death ray he plans to use to get rid of summer vacation forever by changing the moon's orbit so southern california would have freezing temperatures in summer. Yeaaaaah. Really now, this antagonist is a guy in a position of power that gives him the ability to actually fuck with the institution of summer vacation, yet he feels the need to randomly become a Bond villain. Some bizarre 'facts' about tides and ocean currents are also tossed out to show how the moon moving could possibly give L.A. an arctic climate. It's science, bitch! All the kids then storm the school, where they defeat like a good three dozen guards with water balloons and silly string because despite the impressive security protecting the villain's evil activities, nobody thought about actually giving the guards weapons of any kind. However, the biggest problem is one that is shared with the TV show: the art style. The gritty world and unexpressive characters clash with a scenario that is meant to be filled with the wonder and imagination of childhood. Everything comes off as drab, flat and unappealing, and cannot generate the kind of suspension of disbelief necessary to make such an insane plot work. There's some interesting character development here that you don't usually see in the series, such as the relationship between T.J. and his long-suffering Principal, something that is the lone saving grace of the movie. --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/17/18 10:45:43 AM #332: |
Outlier:
Karo: 185 Red: 151 Genny: 148 Stifled: 142 Johnbobb: 128 Inviso: 123 Scarlet: 113 Snake: 112 Charon: 97 JONA: 93 --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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scarletspeed7 08/17/18 10:52:48 AM #333: |
Snake seriously
--- "Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Maniac64 08/17/18 11:22:47 AM #334: |
I still enjoy Transformers. Optimus death was huge watching it as a kid and the action is great imo. Also it was a transformers cartoon that finally had not horrible and incomplete animation and production values. Seriously, the cartoon is so badly done at points, this was what I always wanted the cartoon to look like.
I'm trying to remember if the movie or the comic did Unicron and the death of optimus first. I think it was the comic. To lazy to look it up. Scarlet can probably tell me. --- http://img.imgcake.com/drakeryn/maniacjpgma.jpg ~Drak "Hope is allowed to be stupid, unwise, and naive." ~Sir Chris ... Copied to Clipboard!
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scarletspeed7 08/17/18 11:34:20 AM #335: |
I think Unicron debuted here first.
--- "Reading would be your friend." ~Dave Meltzer ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Snake5555555555 08/17/18 11:57:38 AM #336: |
scarletspeed7 posted...
Snake seriously XD --- If the suspense doesn't kill you, something else will! http://tinyurl.com/zqwzc9a - https://flic.kr/p/27VE5m4 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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StifledSilence 08/17/18 12:00:25 PM #337: |
I think it might finally be time...for friendship!
But it wont be magic. It will be death. Or, you know, elimination from the list. Whichever. --- Bear Bro The Empire of Silence ... Copied to Clipboard!
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AxemRedRanger 08/17/18 12:14:14 PM #338: |
Unicron definitely debuted here first. Optimus Prime also died around that time in Marvel comics but in totally different (and much dumber) circumstances.
Various things of note: -The reason Duke falls into a coma in the GI Joe movie of instead of dying is that Hasbro forced a rewrite after Optimus Prime's death upset some kids. It seemed to genuinely surprise some of the creators how much people cared about all the Transformers characters who died. -Peter Cullen (Optimus's voice actor) was not informed Optimis would be dying until reading it in the script. Lovely! -Genny has actually underestimated the creators' cynicism in part! It's not that Hot Rod, Ultra Magnus, etc. were the second-stringers of the Autobots prior to most of the A Team dying; they hadn't ever even appeared prior to the movie! -Not sure why Genny thinks Americans would have been an "overseas" audience to the Transformers' creators. --- [NO BARKLEY NO PEACE] [NO BKSheikah NO PEACE] ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Mr Crispy 08/17/18 12:15:38 PM #339: |
I only read the marvel transformer comics sporadically when I was younger, but I think Unicron only showed up near the end there so maybe somewhere early 90s?
I think the general progression was something like and that was about all I can remember and I never really bothered to look up anything else about it. --- The only certain death in the universe is Mother Hitton's Littul Kittons. Not changing this line until I beat Seven Heroes (2/24/07) - Fulfilled 2/20/18 ... Copied to Clipboard!
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StifledSilence 08/17/18 12:16:21 PM #340: |
Not all giant robots are Japanese, Gen! Gosh!
#notallgiantrobots #roboracism --- Bear Bro The Empire of Silence ... Copied to Clipboard!
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GenesisSaga 08/17/18 1:37:54 PM #341: |
Holy crap it's finally out. The top 7 is saved!
Alright still on that roll. I think what's next is Guess for #7: DuckTales the Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp --- "You're stronger than you believe. Don't let your fear own you. Own yourself." - Michelle Hodkin ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Johnbobb 08/17/18 5:02:07 PM #342: |
PrinceKaro posted...
only a small child would believe such a disjointed accounting of events as plausible. I'd argue that's kind of the point though --- Khal Kirby, warlord of the Super Star Khalasar PSN/Steam: CheddarBBQ https://goo.gl/Diw2hs ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Leafeon13N 08/17/18 5:27:43 PM #343: |
I found Recess to be a huge step up over the actual show, kind of a rarity here. The show, well not the worst thing out there, tended to play it very bland and safe, rarely making use of characters as anything but whatever they were stereotyped to be.
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PrinceKaro 08/17/18 7:48:17 PM #344: |
7. The Lego Ninjago Movie
Scarlet: 2 Charon: 4 Johnbobb: 8 Red: 10 JONA: 11 Karo: 12 Inviso: 12 Genny: 15 Snake: 18 Stifled: 19 Total Score: 112 Scarlet: You have to wonder why Karo thought that including a film that is spiritually more akin to a movie series than the source material TV show was worthy of the time of Gauntlet Crew. Especially when you find yourself noting that all of the similarities belong to the LEGO Movie franchise and not the Ninjago one. The style of filmmaking is the same and the humor is similar. But a lot of it feels slightly off-brand and low rent. While the acknowledgement of the tropes in the film actually give the film enough self-awareness to be enjoyed, it doesnt rise to a level of unbridled creativity that was found in both LEGO Movie or LEGO Batman. Rating: 61/100 Charon: Probably the weakest of LEGO series films so far, but still written to be a lot of fun. The relationship between the main character and his father didn't at all go where I figured it might, and I felt that made it a better movie for defying the norms on what to do with a "dad's the bad guy" trope. The typical humor of LEGO remains intact, even if due to my lack of watching the show it's based on makes it feel somewhat less good than its kin. While it might not be as great as the first film or as Batman, it stands hand and shoulders above most things on this list. Johnbobb: Lego Ninjago sits in a weird place when you try to compare it to anything. Compared to the first two Lego Movies, it falls kind of short, but compared to other movies based on TV shows, it really raises the bar. On its own, its surprisingly decent. They got an all-star cast instead of the shows actual voice actors, which is a little odd, but worked for me since I had no investment in them. A lot of the jokes managed to land effectively. Dave Franco handles the dorky and whiny but still likeable protagonist role and Zach Woods is one of the funniest actors out there right now. Not the most original, but overall its a fun time. JONA: There are definitely some funny moments in this movie and I'll always love Jackie Chan but I did have some big problems with the movie. Green Ninja's friends are all interchangable, with them not really adding much to the movie. The whole father-son relationship could have been interesting if the characters involved were actually engaging. Definitely a step below the other 2 Lego movies but it's still alright for what it is. Red: This is a really, really strange father-son reconciliation movie. It also has a habit of running its jokes into the ground, lu-loyd. It has its moments, I got a pretty good kick out of the laser pointer actually being used to summon a cat. Unfortunately, the plot thread of the cat is basically completely forgotten about until the end of the movie, which also makes no sense in context of everything that had happened prior. There is also a live action start and end, both of which serve absolutely zero narrative purpose aside reminding you that you live in a world where you can purchase legos. The connection they make to the story is forced at best, entirely unrelated at worst. --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/17/18 7:48:27 PM #345: |
Karo: Ninjago is about this group of teenage ninjas who fight while driving huge battlemechs because smashing through the city in goddamn 50 foot tall robots is REALLY fucking stealthy.
Samurai Darth Vader then takes over the city with shark cannons and a giant live action tabby cat and our team of reject ninjas has to head off on a quest to find the secret mystic weapon or whatever that is the only thing that can save the day. Despite the large cast, none of the ninjas other than Lloyd gets even the slightest character development, pretty much the only thing you'll remember about all these fuckers is that one was a robot or something. With every new movie made about lego people, it seems everything gets less funny and more cringey. There is a certain sad desperation to the humor this time around, like they know it is really not that funny but maybe if they just care hard enough the jokes will come back to life. The film might have worked at least somewhat if it was just a straight-up parody of martial arts movies, rather than this bizarre mess of a concept that mashes up ideas lifted from everything from Power Rangers to Star Wars to My Little Pony. If you take away the charm of the first lego movie, you are left with nothing but the jerky awkwardness of the legomation style, and a profound confusion as to why the hell did this group of characters need to be lego minifigures at all. Everything is no longer awesome, unfortunately. Inviso: The Lego Movie is one of my favorite animated films of all time, but then its success led to the creation of Lego Batman, which was fun, but not really anything special. And thenwe get to this. It has its moments, but its like the barest bones kung fu action movie imaginable. It runs a single joke concept into the ground (that of the hero being the neglected son of the main villain), and honestly, far too much of the bloated cast is underdeveloped. I can only really remember the Ice guy because hes a robot, and the rest of the ninja team are blank personalities. That being said, it was DECENT enough, which is good enough to rank DECENTLY on a list as bad as this one is overall. Genny: Rounding out the bottom of my top half is a movie based on a series I've never given a hoot about, and I've tried. Believe me, I have tried to watch through a few episodes of Ninjago when it was on, but I never could make it all the way through and I just don't know why. I think I just got burnt out on LEGO-based media when nothing could compare to Bionnical. That said this movie was solid. It had some legitimate laugh out loud moments from me (oh my gosh that 4th wall pan out at the end), but so much of the humor was more miss than hit. I did not feel like the target audience for this movie, and I'm fine with that. Maybe this proves I'm too old for LEGOs, or maybe this is easily the weakest of the theatrically released LEGO movies so far. Snake: Servicable but lacks the creativity of The Lego Movie and The Lego Batman Movie. You actually realize youre just watching a movie featuring a bunch of brick characters here. Unlike the cleverness of its brethern, Lego Ninjago embraces stereotypes and forces emotion where its just not apt. The action scenes are a snooze too. --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/17/18 7:49:17 PM #346: |
Stifled: I think this might be the biggest disappointment on the list for me. Its nowhere near the worst movie, mind you, but I had high expectations for this after enjoying Lego Movie and Lego Batman so much. Ninjago is a significant dip in quality from those two in writing, plot, and characters. The jokes dont land well most of the time and the characters are a bunch of nobodies that lack personality outside of the villain and Jackie Chan. This is a huge problem for a franchise that previously thrived in those areas.
That said, a few things ended up being enjoyable. The relationship between the lame hero and the cool villain was nice. And Jackie Chan pretty much anything was fun, especially the flute rendition of Welcome to the Jungle. But I found that for most of the movie, I was not having a good time. And thats a problem. Traviss Opinion: Travis opted to ride an RC car around the house instead of paying attention to the movie. Solid choice. --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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PrinceKaro 08/17/18 7:50:59 PM #347: |
Outlier:
Karo: 190 Genny: 156 Red: 154 Stifled: 154 Johnbobb: 129 Inviso: 128 Snake: 124 Scarlet: 118 Charon: 100 JONA: 97 --- https://i.imgtc.com/a6iBg1Y.jpg all going according to the plan of BKSheikah this time... ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Leafeon13N 08/17/18 8:01:48 PM #348: |
Oh i must have deleted the part of my writeup mentioning how little that movie actually needed to be made of legos.
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StifledSilence 08/17/18 8:02:52 PM #349: |
Wow you guys really liked those ponies. Theyre just cockroaching their way through this list.
Not sad to see Ninjago get the boot though. It was like the writers of Hannah Montana were hired to take over from the good writing team. --- Bear Bro The Empire of Silence ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Lopen 08/17/18 8:06:32 PM #350: |
Haha man
My instinct when seeing this list was "I bet Lego Ninjago would be my favorite on this list even not having seen it cause Lego Movie and Lego Batman were great" Then we get a bunch of writeups talking about how Lego and Lego Batman were much better than this one and it's like "awww" --- No problem! This is a cute and pop genocide of love! ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Leafeon13N 08/17/18 8:25:47 PM #351: |
Lopen posted...
Haha man It wasn't bad but definitely not on those levels. ... Copied to Clipboard!
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Inviso 08/17/18 8:27:05 PM #352: |
Lopen posted...
Haha man That's the disappointing thing. I feel like Lego Movie had a lot more freedom to be creative in its story, because it wasn't based on an existing media. Batman and Ninjago became major steps down as a result. --- Touch fuzzy. Get fuzzier. Inviso ... Copied to Clipboard!
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